How Edea Got Her Groove Back
by TheStockholmEffect
Summary: [Post-game, true ending] Starting and ending a war? Easy. Making sure the war stays over, and forging broken bonds between nations? Trickier. Figuring out a certain Dark Knight? Impossible. But I'm Edea Lee, so it all ought to be a piece of cake, right?
1. Prologue

_Edea Lee has it all, except for maybe the company of the man who she abhors. But then, he was never a part of her world to begin with._

**So the TRUE ending to Bravely Default was a little ambiguous when it comes to Ringabel and where he ends up, and I wanted to expand on it, so here you go.**

**As it is, a HUGE spoiler alert for Bravely Default, especially when it comes to the TRUE ending. If you have not obtained this ending yet, please don't read it!**

**It goes without saying that I don't own Bravely Default and its lovely cast of characters. **

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Edea had a habit of tapping her foot when she was excited and happy. For the first time in - how long had it been? She no longer kept count of time - a very long time, she felt like things were finally her way. Ouroboros had been defeated for good, and it was time to go home.

"I wonder if it's changed," she wondered aloud, helping Tiz carry the rest of the belongings onto Grandship. Sage Yulyana had warned them that if they didn't go through the portal in less than two hours, they would be stuck on this world.

It was a hard decision, but in the end, all four Warriors of Light had decided to go back to their original home. For Edea, it had been even harder. Swordmaster Kamiizumi was still alive here along with the rest of Eternia's best warriors. The only thing that was getting Edea through this decision was that Tiz, Agnès, and Ringabel would be going along with her.

"What's changed?" Tiz asked, as he hoisted a barrel into his arms.

"Our Luxendarc. I mean, now that Ouroboros is gone and the chasm is closed does that mean that time has reverted back to what it once was?" Edea threw a sack over her shoulder. "And what's in here anyway? Feels like bricks!"

"I guess there's only one way to find out," Tiz said as they both wobbled onto Grandship. "I think this is the last of the load. Can you tell Ringabel as soon as we board that it's time to get into the portal? We've only got about an hour before it closes up, and I need to find Agnès and make sure she's okay."

"Not a problem," Edea responded, giving him a sly wink. "Go have some alone time with your girlfriend. Datz and Zatz and the Proprietress... are they all on?"

"She's not my girlfriend!" Tiz stammered, although his face was bright red. Edea chuckled; it was almost too easy to tease Tiz. He may be the most mature one of them all, Edea had to admit, but when it came to Agnès, he was so easy to read. When Tiz gathered himself, he added as if nothing happened, "They should be. I told them to head in about a half hour ago."

Edea nodded, and began to board the Grandship. At the top of the ramp, she was breathing heavily and dropped the sack on the floor, dragging an arm through her brow. Though there was a pleasant breeze whipping through what was once Norende, Edea had never entirely gotten over any non-Eternian weather. The thought of the cool snow, made her grin. _No place like home_, she thought to herself.

She surveyed the lower decks of Grandship, feeling a rush of last minute affection for the large ship. This had been her home for a long time and though she knew she was going to her real home, she wasn't willing to part with it just yet. Admittedly, the Grandship looked a little worse for wear now that it had survived through seven Holy Pillars, but she was confident that once they arrived in Eternia, she would see to it that Ringabel got the parts he needed to fix it.

Speaking of Ringabel... where was he? Edea glanced at The Drunken Pig, and decided to check in. The worst possible place Ringabel could be in right now would be in the tavern; he was the only one who could drive this ship.

She ran to the tavern and saw the Proprietress wiping at the countertop. The round woman's face broke into a grin. "Looking for someone? Datz, Zatz and Agnès are above deck."

"And Ringabel?"

In response, the gray-haired woman pointed to the tables toward the stairs above. "He's getting a quick bite in before we leave."

Edea thanked the woman before dashing up the stairs, thoroughly irritated. "Ringabel!" she snapped. Out of all days, the man just _had_ to pick today to slow the pace.

When she got to the top, she saw Ringabel at one of the booths with a basket of potato wedges with melted cheese on top. Next to him was a parfait with whipped cream piled so high, it almost doubled the whole height. A bright red maraschino cherry topped the whole thing. The thing seemed to be calling out to Edea, and she felt her stomach rumble.

Ringabel chewed on one of the potato wedges, his black eyes slinking to Edea almost purposefully. On most days that Edea had gotten to know him, his face was often animated. It had been extremely easy to read him; after all, all he ever thought about was girls. But in the past few weeks, especially after regaining his memory, Edea had noticed his silences were becoming more frequent. At first, she welcomed his quiet attitude with relief. But then she had almost started to miss it. Towards the end, she had grown uncomfortable about it.

Today, as she met his eyes, she couldn't tell what he was thinking about. Aside from his mouth which had begun to slow, he had grown still upon seeing her.

But only for a moment.

"My dear, you must simply join me!" he said, traces of his smirk growing on his face. He swallowed his bite and gestured to the food on the table.

"Can it, Ringabel! We've only got an hour before the portal closes. Don't you want to go home?" But even as she said the words, she slid into the booth opposite of him and grabbed the parfait.

His grin grew wider. "Of course, I do. But won't you miss it?"

"Miss what?"

"All this?" He gestured around the tavern.

"The Grandship is coming with us, Ringabel. I'm sure I could swing by sometime and ask the Proprietress for a parfait," she snorted. She slid a spoonful of whipped cream into her mouth, reveling at the light texture and the sweetness of it. She sighed. "I think I'm in heaven." It was almost as good as Eternia's famous parfaits!

Ringabel studied her. "I'm not talking about the tavern." He hesitated for a moment. "I meant all of... _this_. Us four working together, on an adventure, traveling across the seas of Luxendarc?"

Edea put down her spoon and met Ringabel's eyes. It was eerie how sometimes he seemed to understand how she felt about all this. But then she smiled and spooned in another mouthful of whipped cream. "Well, I mean a little. But we're still going to have each other. Agnès and Tiz will be across the ocean, so it might be a little harder to visit them, but that doesn't mean we won't make the effort!"

"We?"

"Well, obviously! You might be a pain, Ringabel, but I meant what I said about living in Eternia. I'm sure Father will have a use for you after I explain everything about you. He pretty much treats Alternis as a son, so I'm sure he'd love to have you too. Just don't talk about girls around him, and be polite when he talks to you."

"I'm always polite," Ringabel responded almost indignantly. He swallowed the last bite of his potato wedges and began to wipe his mouth daintily with the cloth napkin, as though to prove his point. He waited for Edea to finish the rest of her parfait. "How was it?"

"Sweet," Edea said. "The Proprietress definitely knows her stuff." She watched the grin on his face grow and suddenly grew suspicious. "What? Is there whipped cream on my mouth?" She used her fist to wipe at anything on her mouth.

Ringabel stood up, drawing to his full height. "Would you consider this a date?"

Edea nearly coughed up her whole parfait she had eaten. "W-what? No!" She stood up too, glaring at him.

"But I paid for your meal, and it was only us two."

"Yeah, but it was only, like, fifteen minutes."

"A fifteen minute date is still a date," he said, his voice sounding satisfied. Ugh! Sometimes she couldn't stand that grin on his face.

"Whatever makes you happy."

He walked up close to her and her heart pounded. She wanted to shrink away, but instead she stood her ground, despite the fact that he was standing inches away from her, and he was staring directly down at her. Not for the first time, did Edea curse their height difference. She was taller than the average girl her age, but Ringabel almost stood a head taller than her. It rankled her nerves to know end to know that she spent a lot of time looking up at him.

"You don't scare me," she said, and wondered if it was the way her heart was beating that made her voice seem an octave higher than usual. Ringabel often did this, standing in close proximity with Edea, and even though she always made it a point to increase the distance between them or to tell him to scram, she always felt the blood in her body turn hot.

"I'm not trying to," he murmured, that maddening side smirk still on his face. He lifted his hand, and for one crazy moment, Edea thought he was going to use it to guide her head up into kissing him, but instead he grabbed her chin and used his thumb to swipe at the corner of her lip. It took everything in her to stay completely still. She held her breath and waited for him to lower his mouth to hers.

He didn't. Instead he took a step back and said, "There was some cream still left." He wiped his thumb on his trousers and his side smirk became kind. "Remember when you rescued me from the dungeon in Central Command?"

Edea nodded, not trusting herself to speak, waiting for her heart to stop pounding so furiously. It was the first time - and only time - Edea had ever entertained the idea of Ringabel becoming her boyfriend out loud. Ringabel had grown flustered and shocked and it was then that Edea had realized he hadn't much experience with girls in the first place. It had been slightly endearing to her, but mostly hilarious when he hadn't the slightest clue what do do.

"Well, I know this isn't romantic, or perfect or ideal, but I do hope you know how much it meant to me just to have your company here."

He seemed quite serious when he said it, and Edea saw a little bit of Alternis Dim inside him. She bit her lip. My _Alternis is dead_, she reminded herself. There was no way he had survived that fall down Grandship in her world. But Ringabel was still very much here and in that moment, Edea found herself not so repulsed by thinking about the future they'd spend together.

"I know," she responded cheerfully. _And I enjoyed yours too_. "Anyway, Tiz said you should start heading for the portals."

He nodded once. "Of course."

She followed him outside and up to where everybody else was waiting, thinking back to the moment he'd stepped so close to her. She touched the edge of her lip and wondered why it burned. She stared at the back of Ringabel's blond head and couldn't help the smile that graced her features. When it all came down to it, she was... happy.

"Took you two long enough," Tiz said, when they reached helm. "It's time to go Ringabel!"

"Of course," he said. He pressed a few buttons, cranked a few levers, and gripped the helm tightly with both hands as Grandship took off.

Edea watched Agnès struggle to find her footing and Tiz grip her shoulders to steady her, her heart suddenly aching. This would be the last time they would be together for a long time. She knew they all had their own duties. Agnès was the only living vestal, Tiz had Norende, she was in line for running Eternia next and Ringabel would probably be Father's bodyguard. She knew that they wouldn't be like this again.

The ship was roaring with effort as it lifted off and began to fly towards the portal. Feeling like her heart would burst if she didn't say anything at this point she yelled over the noise, "Guys, I think we should... agree on something."

Tiz raised an eyebrow and Agnès asked, "What would you want to do?"

"Let's make a promise that in six months we meet up, no matter what happens!" Her eyes began to blur, and she realized she was crying. _Damn it, it's not like me to get sentimental! I'm Braev Lee's daughter!_ "You're the best friends I've ever had."

Agnès was silent as she regarded Edea. Then at last, she put her arms around Edea. "And you are all the dearest friends, the only friends aside from Olivia, that I would willingly die for. Tiz, Ringabel, let's do it!"

Edea was surprised when Agnès pulled Edea and Tiz into a group hug, and when Edea pulled back, she was relieved to find that she wasn't the only one with wet eyes. Agnès was fully sobbing, and even Tiz looked like tears were threatening to fall.

_I guess it wasn't just me_. She looked at Ringabel's back and touched his shoulder. "Promise me?"

He didn't answer, concentrating intently on Grandship's progress as he navigated through each world's portal. When they finally reached their world, he pulled a lever harshly and Edea nearly collided into him. Thoroughly annoyed at the Ringabel's handling of the ship, she took a deep breath and tried not to curse him out. Normally, he was really good at handling the ship. When she regained her bearings, she turned around, her hair whipping behind her to see Tiz and Agnès sprawled over each other giggling nervously at their close proximity.

_They're so cute it nearly makes me puke!_ Edea thought to herself.

"We've arrived at your world," Ringabel announced. Edea's heart ached in anticipation as she ran towards the railing to look at the bright, clear skies. _Home_...

"It's so beautiful outside," she sighed to herself. A breeze riffled through her hair, and she couldn't remember the last time she'd appreciated flying on a ship. She had always taken flying on the Eschalot and with the Sky Knights for granted.

When she turned around, she saw Ringabel staring at her, his expression startlingly intense. His arms were crossed over his chest and he was slouched against the helm. Caught looking, he ran a gloved hand over his face, and turned away from her. "If you don't mind, I'll be taking the Eschalot."

Edea was confused. She'd been planning on granting him all of Grandship, now that its people had left and showed no plans to come back. But if he wanted the Eschalot too, she would have to talk to Father first. "Um, sure. You can have Grandship if you want too, you know."

His back was still turned to her as he pulled another lever, and Grandship began its descent. "Why would I take Grandship? You need to pilot back to Eternia, Ancheim and Caldisla."

She wasn't following, but a thread of ice had started to weave itself inside her, making her numb. "What are you prattling on about, Ringabel?" she snapped.

With a great lurch, Grandship finally sank into the waters. Once again, the landing was rough and this time Edea actually lost her footing, landing on her butt. Ringabel turned around, and reached a hand out to her. She grasped it, and he pulled her up. "Ringabel, what do you-"

"Hurry. I haven't the time." He tugged her along and she felt her cheeks grow warm at his holding her hand. It was ridiculous, really. Both of them were wearing gloves, so they weren't actually touching. And there were so many times where she'd grabbed _his_ hand and pulled him along, and there were many other times where he had held her hand before asking her out on a date. But this time, it was different, she decided and she didn't know what precisely it was, but she followed him.

When they got to the part of the ship that held the Eschalot, Ringabel turned around. "This is where I say good bye."

Edea felt her blood still at these words. "Ringabel..."

He held a hand up to silence her, and the gesture was so authoritative, that it actually worked on her. She'd never been dismissed by Ringabel in such an abrupt manner before.

Luckily, Agnès wasn't so cowed. "Ringabel, what is the meaning of this? Are you not coming with us?"

Ringabel's face softened as he faced her. "It's been... I can't begin to describe how much the time I spent with you three has meant to me. I will never forget you all, but as you all know I don't truly belong here."

Edea's throat constricted. The blood drained from her face and she realized she was still holding his hand. She wrenched her hand away from him. She was using unnecessary force, as his grip on her was gentle, but she didn't care. "You can't do this..."

Ringabel still wasn't looking at her. "My time as Ringabel is over. I need to go back to _my_ world, and become the man I was before Ringabel. I need to redeem myself and protect all of you from the previous world."

Edea felt herself grow unexpectedly angry. "No. You _can't_ do that. I'm giving you a home in Eternia. You're supposed to stay in Eternia."

"I don't belong here, Edea."

"Yes, you do! You do. You belong here with me!" The words slipped out of her mouth before she had time to reconsider her words.

A shadow of that old maddening smirk came back on his face. "Why Edea, I knew all along that you had feelings for me."

Too late, she realized she had said 'me' instead of 'us' and she sought to rectify that mistake. "I meant with us! You belong with us!" But she was furious that he had the gall to smile at her like that, like this was all a joke. Nothing about this was a joke!

Tiz and Agnès exchanged glances before Tiz turned to Ringabel. "I'm not going to try and stop you, Ringabel. If you feel like this is what you have to do, then... We understand." He grabbed Ringabel's hand and clenched it tightly. "I'll miss you."

"And I, you." Ringabel said with a solemn face.

"Take care of yourself," Agnès said, her cheeks stained with tears. She was usually a lot more reserved but right now she pulled him into a fierce hug and dashed away before she could break down in front of him.

That left Edea and Ringabel. A full gust of wind blew through Edea's hair, nearly making her stumble backward. "Nice sailing conditions," he said.

"Shut up," she growled, and for the first time he flinched.

"Edea..."

"Don't. Say. My. Name."

He was quiet as he watched her face redden. She glared at him for a full minute before she decided to speak. "You know, out of everyone here, you annoyed me the most. I couldn't fathom why you were even with us. You were dead weight. You were useless. It would have been better if you just dropped the journal here because that was the only thing that helped us at all. You with your fucking memory problems could not stop the problem from exacerbating. You were useless. Tiz was the leader, Agnès was the vestal and I helped us get into Eternia, but all you did was flirt and woo women in front of me. You're a shame to us and I hate you."

Ringabel bowed his head, and she was even more furious that his face seemed deadly still. Nothing she said was impacting him and she felt an uncomfortable restlessness overcome her, making her go crazy. "Then," he said softly. "It shouldn't matter that I leave to you. I must right my wrongs."

"Why can't you right the wrongs you've made here? You've certainly made enough of them."

He sighed through his nose. "I won't tolerate this abuse, Edea, even if it is well deserved. Goodbye." He walked towards the Eschalot, and had just climbed in when she spoke again. "Don't go, Ringabel. I'm serious. Please don't go." She couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe she'd said please, that she was _begging_.

Edea Lee did not beg.

Yet here she was, running after him, grabbing onto his arm even as he was unhooking the ropes that anchored the Eschalot to Grandship. "If you refuse to stay, please take me with you!" Under any other circumstances, Edea would have been ashamed. She certainly felt ashamed for saying them out loud. She wasn't the kind of girl who chased boys and shirked her duties for them. This wasn't her, and yet...

"Edea, listen to me." He slid his hands up her arms until they slid around her shoulders. He caressed them, giving her a tender look. "I'm with you, I'll always be with you. My existence is only to the Lee's. I will be here for you, just in another world. You cannot abandon your duties here. You and I both know that."

He was right, of course. She couldn't, but right now, she couldn't see reason to it. "I..." the words caught in her throat and died. Instead, she said, "I understand." The words were stiff and clearly said she did not understand at all.

He smiled sadly. "I love you and I mean it." He drew her to him and for the second time that day, she wondered if he would kiss her on the mouth but he didn't. Instead he pressed his lips, soft and warm against her forehead, hard. And then he pulled away from her, and her world.

She didn't try to stop him.

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**Originally intended this as a one-shot, but I'm not sure if I should expand on it. I had a few ideas as to how this would pan out. I had a few ideas but... eh, we'll see. Please review! This is totally not edited, so I apologize in advance if there are spelling errors and I definitely wouldn't mind if you pointed them out to me.**


	2. The Choice to Forget

_My name is Edea Lee. I have friends I would die for, and parents who I now have won the respect of. I am slated to become the next ruler of Eternia, Luxendarc's most powerful kingdom. I have it all, I guess, except for one man who I thought I couldn't stand. I suppose you could say he left me... for myself. And I won't be getting him back._

**So, since I got a positive reaction to the one-shot, I decided to expand on what happens after everything. I did write the one-shot in third person, but from now on it'll be in first-person from Edea's point of view. So this will be mostly be about her. Will Ringabel ever make an appearance? Haha, um, well I haven't made my mind up about it yet! We'll see.**

**It goes without saying that I don't own Bravely Default and its lovely cast of characters. **

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I was absentmindedly spooning some of the parfait into my mouth when Father arrived. I immediately popped the spoon out of my mouth and stood up immediately, knocking my chair back in the process. Not exactly my finest moment but Father despised languidness and laziness in his daughter.

Mother didn't mind as much. She was easy to please, and therefore, even though I loved her to bits I didn't think as much about her as I did Father. I know it sounds kind of crazy and uncaring, that I don't pay _as_ much attention as I should towards somebody who loves me unconditionally and, to boot, is weaker, but there's the truth.

But Father is a challenge. I've always strived to meet his ideals, and boy were they hard to live up to.

Which was why when I saw him, everything about my demeanor shifted."Father," I said as respectfully as I could, trying to mask the apprehension I felt. It's stupid that I should feel this way, even after everything I learned about him from the gossipmongers in Eternia to the journals in the Earth Temple.

"Hello, Edea," he nodded at me and heavily sat down at the breakfast table, making the utensils and plates flinch in their spots.

"Braev, please be gentle. Just yesterday you knocked over a glass," Mother said, her voice serene and warm.

"Apologies." He sounded like he meant it and started piling up food into his plate. Warily, I sat back down and began to slowly spoon bits of cream back into my mouth, watching him out of the corner of my eye.

After we reached our world, Agnès and Tiz had headed back Ancheim and Caldisla respectively. Tiz had mumbled something about further construction in Norende and righting wrongs while Agnès said that she needed to take care of the Wind Crystal first.

On the other hand, I had meekly gone back to Father and explained to him and Mother everything that had happened since I left and they said they understood. A strange understanding of sorts had come between Father and I since. I couldn't tell if he respected me or couldn't stand me because I hadn't listened to him. Either way, he had told me to take charge of Eternia until he fully recovered from the injuries that we had given him. I felt guilty about this. Lord DeRosso had said he would never wield a sword and that had been my fault. If only I had listened...

...It seemed I had learned my lesson too late.

Ever since then, I'd been learning the ropes and making the decisions for Eternia and let me tell you, it was utterly _boring_.

I heard more complaints from the people than I ever would in my entire life! Cases were made on whether or not taxes should be lowered or made higher, compensations for the war efforts as well. For every problem I thought I solved decently, there were five more cases that popped up _because_ of my decisions. Mother praised, advised me and reassured me, but I felt like I was drowning, failing.

I would never let Father know that though. I'd already put him through so much.

So I finished my parfait, and grabbed a cheese danish while Father counseled me on today's events, trying not to sleep at the table.

It wasn't like what Father was saying was boring me (though it _was_ boring) it was that ever since I'd come to my world and had been separated from Tiz and Agnès, I'd started having nightmares. At first, it was about Ouroboros and Airy. Sometimes I'd hear screams from the worlds that had been annihilated by Ouroboros, which haunted me the most. Other times it was seeing Airy in all her forms. Cute yet nagging Airy, looking deceptively harmless with her winking silvery hair and liquid black eyes. Then the insect-like Airy with her greasy, white hair spilling out and her multitudes of legs she stood upon. And her fully insectoid version and lastly, her in her most beautiful, yet dangerous and evil form. Her last form's eyes still sent chills up my spine. They were the eyes I'd gotten acquainted with throughout multiple worlds, but with an unflinching deadly stillness that bespoke of chaos. I tried not to think about those eyes that much because in my nightmares, every time I looked into those shiny, wet, dead eyes I saw my own reflection.

I had never been really close with Airy, nor had particularly liked her as much as Agnès did, but her betrayal was still a huge shock to me. I wondered how Agnès had dealt with it... she had to have been worse off than I.

But these nightmares sometimes always dissolved into something I thought about constantly - _Him_. I tried not to, of course. And after I told Father and Mother what happened, I never spoke his name again. But he always spoke mine in my dreams. In my dreams, he would thread his fingers through my hair and caress the back of my neck. He would say my name with such reverence, it was like it was a prayer for him. In these dreams, I could smell him and my body would ache because he would say, "Goodbye, Edea."

And leave. Leave me all over again. To relive that moment was an even bigger betrayal than what had Airy had done because I _felt_ it more.

I told myself it wasn't his fault, that he had to do what he must, but it still sucked. A lot.

"Edea, are you listening to me?" Father rumbled, sounding impatient.

"Hm? Oh yes, Father," I lied. I sat up a little straighter in my chair, and tried to look attentive.

"Okay, so then I would like you to greet him at the gates of the village. I requested that he be your bodyguard, from now on."

"Who?" I asked, biting into my danish and trying to get lost in the sweet flavor.

"Alternis Dim."

I coughed up my danish.

"I assumed he died," I said, and a few seconds later, I realized how tactless I sounded. Mother looked scandalized at my choice of words and Father gave me a disapproving look so I hastily amended, "I hadn't heard news of him since I came back."

I frowned; it was true, I hadn't. If Alternis _was_ alive, surely he would have asked for me? Alternis usually sought me out, rather than the other way around. It had been nearly two weeks since my return, and practically everybody else in Eternia knew of my arrival so there wasn't a chance that Alternis was dead or really even unconscious, considering he was to be my bodyguard.

My bodyguard...

"Wait, my bodyguard?" I choked out. I couldn't help but drop my danish, and feel the blood drain out of my face. "This is preposterous. He's always been your bodyguard, Father! And you need one now more than ever, now that you can no longer wield a sword! I can take care of myself besides-"

"Silence, Edea," Father interrupted, and although his deep voice was curt, it didn't seem angry or even mildly irritated. "As I was saying, I'm relieving you from your duties as Eternia's ruler for the time being for a very important mission I have for you. Your mother and I shall be taking over Eternia's rule." I was less than enthusiastic about his last bit of news. Mother was always frail, and father now was too. Between both of their maimed forms, I didn't know how well their presences would inspire Eternia to believe that they were powerful and robust leaders.

But important mission? I perked up. Surely there would be blood, and fights and anything but awfully boring politics...

"I would have you and Alternis join that Wind Vestal of yours. I hear she is about to visit each major region to find a new vestal."

"Agnès," I corrected automatically, wondering how Father still refused to call the Wind Vestal by her name even after I told him everything. Suddenly, I was apprehensive. The last time Father had counseled me to find her, I had ended up betraying not only him, but all of Eternia, which also included the deaths of many of my friends at my own hand. With a sudden pang in my heart, I thought of Artemia, Einheria and Mephilia as well as Swordmaster Kamiizumi.

"Yes," he said after a pause, as if he wasn't fond of being corrected. "Her. As you are well aware, Eternia's only remaining ally is Florem. Our relationship is tenuous at best with them, ever since that blasted DeRosa tried to make a profit off their most sacred creatures. Though their citizens don't seem to care much about spiritual nature that the Florie fairies destruction or the killings of the Orochi, their Matriarch does, and she is hesitant to reignite an alliance. It doesn't help that Victoria killed Olivia.

"We still have a long way to go in reforging our alliances with Eisenberg, Ancheim and Caldisla. That is why I need you now more than ever."

"Me?" I squeaked. I couldn't see how we could reforge any sort of alliance with Eisenberg or Caldisla. Ancheim, maybe, since Agnès was loved by all its people. I was sure it wouldn't take a lot on her part to appeal to her people. Caldisla was still reeling from Eternia's skirmishes. I was sure that the King would not forgive us so easily for killing Owen. I hoped Tiz might be able to appeal there. But the hardest would undoubtedly be Eisenberg. It would be impossible to establish any sort of alliance with them, especially after Qada laid waste to most of their land.

"I would not ask you of this job, if I did not think you most capable of it. It is true that most of Luxendarc does not know Eternia. We are a region shrouded in the heavens, and not many of us leave this place. You are perhaps one of the few who has actually aided these regions, and you are my daughter. Of all of us, you are most suited to this job."

I was touched by his words to the point where I could not say anything. Father hadn't commanded me; he had _asked_ me. That never happened. If he ever paid attention to me, it was only to command me to go through further training or to go to the Sky Knights, like last time. Him asking me?

And I also realized that he was right. My travels to Caldisla, Florem, Ancheim and Eisenberg had gotten me acquainted to many other cultures. People knew me, and respected me for choosing them over my own home country. It would just be a lot harder if I went and, this time I was going for the interests of _my _country. Would they listen to me then, when they realized I had aligned myself with my father?

Briefly I thought about what Agnès would do. Undoubtedly, she would understand now that she knew what Father was trying to prevent all along. She would be for it. I almost imagined her voice, gentle, yet full of purpose. _"You have a duty to fulfill to your own people, Edea_." I thought she'd say. She was all about duty, after all.

And Tiz? I thought about what he might say. Gentle Tiz, never stepping on each other's beliefs. I conjured up his face as best as I could. What would Tiz say? _"I think you should... do what you think is best, Edea. Do you think it would help?_"Yeah, I did. In my travels I knew that Eternia was far more advanced than the rest of the kingdoms. All regions would benefit from the way they ran things, I was sure of it. And in exchange, I knew that Eternia could learn a _lot_ from Eisenberg, Caldisla, Florem and Ancheim.

As if I didn't need to think about it, _his_ voice echoed in my head and my heart almost shattered at the way he usually sounded so annoyingly charming, as if he were putting on a show. _"I don't know about you, but I'd be in it for all the girls."_ I almost laughed out loud, before growing sober. _"Is it what would make you happy?"_

I bit my lip and shoved that thought aside. He wouldn't say that. He didn't care about my happiness, I thought savagely. If he did he would have stayed. The pain was too unbearable, now that I was thinking about him. No amount of parfaits would cure the bitterness I felt.

Deep down, I knew it wasn't his fault at all. He had a life before he met me, and it was clear that the Edea in his world needed him more than I did. She probably was far more gracious and charming to him, for him to make the decision to stay behind with her. I couldn't help but hate her... or me. Whatever it was, I couldn't help but despise her. It sounded silly to be jealous of another version of myself, but there it was.

I needed some way to forget Ringabel, I realized, which cinched my decision. I needed to busy my mind. I took a deep breath and looked at Father square in the eye so that he could see the seriousness in my eyes.

"Well, Edea?"

"I'll do it."

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**So as I said before, this was originally intended as a one-shot, but now I'm expanding on it. I'm not entirely sure where this'll go. Perhaps Edea will let me know how it unfolds ;)**

**In any case, tell me what you think, drop a review if you like. Thanks for reading! (This chapter too, I haven't edited... ;_; I apologize for any errors. Maybe once I'm done, I'll go back and catch 'em all and be an Error Master! Or something...)**

**-SE**


	3. Take Off

_My name is Edea Lee. I have friends I would die for, and parents who I now have won the respect of. I am slated to become the next ruler of Eternia, Luxendarc's most powerful kingdom. I have it all, I guess, except for one man who I thought I couldn't stand. I suppose you could say he left me... for myself. And I won't be getting him back._

**Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews! You all rock!**

**It goes without saying that I don't own Bravely Default and its lovely cast of characters. **

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I was thinking about Ancheim when I finished packing. Out of all regions, Ancheim's climate was especially harsh on me. I had grown up in a place where it was perpetually cold and snowy; Ancheim was hot and dry and sand tended to cling to _everything_ which tended to be a problem if you wanted to show a bit of skin. Because of that, I made sure to pack loose, light clothing that covered most of my body. I also decided to forgo my spell fencing costume; the only one in our group who had shown any sort of affinity to it had been Tiz which was strange. I was an expert at the blade and bow, and my black magic skills were probably the best among the four of us, but if I put them together it ended up being a disaster. I fondly looked back at the times where I accidentally ended up shooting a poison arrow at Ringabel.

Ringabel...

The few times I _had_ worn it, it had been to see Ringabel's expression. I confess, I was selfishly addicted to rendering him speechless. It was always amusing to see Ringabel shocked, but shocked to silence by me invoked the deepest feeling of self-worth and satisfaction.

It was useless now; the spell fencer's costume only reminded me of him more than ever. It had been why I ultimately left it behind. I also wanted to leave behind the Bravo Bikini, but Mother asked me to take it with me. "You never know what Florem Beauty Contests you could win with this." Despite my protests, she ended up putting it in my suitcase anyway with a wink.

I knew she meant it for the best; though she never really brought up the subject of Ringabel, I suspected that she knew how much I cared about him and how I felt about him. She never let on, but I sometimes caught her looking at me when she thought I wasn't aware of her. The looks she gave me were pitying, which was why I chose to ignore them; I hated when people pitied me. It was probably why these past few weeks we'd been together, she had spent with me, choosing to skip on her medical examinations as much as possible. We'd spent a lot of time together which was really nice, and put my mind off Ringabel admittedly, but when night came and I was alone in my room, my thoughts always tended to drift back to him. I was relieved when the day finally arrived where it was time to set a course for Ancheim.

Now everybody was ready to board the ship. Father had allowed us a Sky Ship which I had named The Eschalot. And why not? _He_ had taken the old one.

I gripped the railing of the ship, watching my new crew bustle about. I couldn't help but think about Ominas Crowe. He had been with me last time I made this journey; now he was dead. I pressed my lips together tightly and tried not to think too much about him. It was true that out of all the people I'd killed that I knew, his was one of the few I'd felt least guilty about; in all the worlds, he never seemed sympathetic, only crazier and crazier.

But from time to time, he still managed to creep into my thoughts. I shoved him aside for a minute to appreciate the view.

"Edea," I heard Father say. "Everything seems to be coming along well. I don't think I need to stress to you how important this mission is."

I turned around, and had to crane my neck to look at his face. His towering height cast a shadow over my entire body. Everything about Father was intimidating; he was like a wall that was impossible to get through. Ever since Tiz, Agnès, Ringabel and I had injured him, he needed to rely on a walking stick but it didn't make him any less formidable. "I understand. I'll do my best. But, um, why are you here, if I may ask?"

Father looked surprised. "I wanted to see you off."

Now _I_ was surprised. He wanted to see _me_ off? That was... new. I was still trying to get used to his sudden interest in me. For a moment, I didn't know what to say and I didn't even know if I _could_; my throat had suddenly seized up. "Father..." I said, and was ashamed when my voice cracked.

He suddenly seemed embarrassed as well. "Well, goodbye then. I expect I will see you soon after the year is over."

Oh, yeah. I'd almost forgotten that our excursion would take about a year, if all went well. I felt like I'd only _just_ seen him again for a short while and now I was leaving him again. How had I gone from living my whole life in Eternia, to traveling to different regions in different dimensions? "I will return, Father. And when I do, I hope I can be somebody you can be proud of. I will accomplish my mission." I was strongly reminded of my first promises to Father, and how I'd broken that last promise.

His expression was unusually gentle as he regarded me. Maybe he was thinking back to the same memory that I was. "I know."

I felt the words flare up, heating the very core of my soul. It was Father's faith in me that reignited my purpose here; I discovered that I really needed to hear those simple few words to make my self-confidence go up.

"Edea, I'm sorry I haven't told you how much I lo-"

"Lord Marshal!" a voice crisply addressed Father, as if through a heavy helmet, interrupting what he had been just about to say.

_The damn nerve!_ I thought heatedly, looking for the perpetrator. Because I was pretty sure he'd interrupted Father when he'd just been about to say he loved me. I couldn't even remember a time dear ol' Dad used that word on me.

My glare settled on a Dark Knight, and my heart momentarily skidded to a halt.

Alternis Dim.

I couldn't tell what he was thinking. That damnable helm of his blocked his face, of course. Perhaps it was for the best. I didn't think I was ready to see how angry he was at me.

"What is it, Alternis?" Father asked, once Alternis reached us and performed a perfect bow. Despite myself, I couldn't help but internally groan. Alternis Dim was always such a suck up to Father which annoyed me since Father seemed to pay far more attention to him than me. I know I shouldn't, but I'd always felt a sort of distant jealousy towards Alternis when I actually thought about him, which was honestly, not that much.

His tone seemed normal as he talked. "Your Council meeting is about to start and I was asked to find you. As it is, we are ready to take off soon so I apologize but your good byes with your daughter should probably be wrapped up soon."

"Thank you," Father told him, before turning to me, his expression no longer gentle, but back to normal. "Goodbye then. See you next year."

And with that, he turned around and was gone. I watched his massive frame get smaller and smaller and for one horrible minute, I almost lost my nerve and wanted to scream at him to come back, to stay with me, that I _needed _him. But I swallowed these words at the last possible second, swallowed all my tears. I hated being so needy. I had to stop being so emotional towards everybody. _This was a problem with Ringabel and now it's a problem with Father! Get your grip together!_

I turned away from the boarding dock, steeling myself to throw on a face of leadership, a face that inspired confidence, a face that was looking directly at...

Alternis.

My fingers went cold, and my mind went blank momentarily. Why was he still standing there? I tried to mask the awkwardness I felt by adopting a neutral expression on my face. What was I supposed to say to a guy that I practically knocked to his death as he was proposing to me?

The truth was, I felt like Alternis was both a stranger and somebody I'd known my whole life. Yes, we'd grown up as children together. But he'd left at an early age, eager to train to become a Dark Knight and eventually ended up on the Council of Six. I? I'd been shipped off to Master Kamiizumi who didn't live nearby and trained in the higher mountains. I'd spent years there in solitude with Einheria, his pupils and him. When I returned, Alternis was already a Dark Knight and always kept that damn armor on, claiming that an attack on Father could _always_ happen. I remember him keeping that helmet on dutifully, until he retired to his quarters.

And truthfully? Well, I never really thought of him as interesting as he had apparently found _me_. I mean, sure, when I was like, six, I probably had a crush on him. But my training in the mountains with Master Kamiizumi led me to forget about him, and by the time I returned he had turned into this duty-bound, boring guy who only seemed interested in climbing the ranks, and Father. And sure, he'd spoken to me, and I'd responded graciously as the daughter of the Lord Marshal is expected to do, but honestly? I didn't think he'd _propose _to me. I hadn't even seen his face in a long time! I mean, wouldn't you want to see a person's face before you married them?!

It was a question that Agnès had relentlessly pestered me with after we figured out that Alternis and Ringabel had the same face. "How couldn't you know Ringabel looks exactly like Alternis?"

And the stupid, dumb answer was that I hadn't seen Alternis's face in a long time. When he was a boy, his hair had been more golden, than silver. His skin color back then was also more tanned, a result of living homeless in Florem whose climate was more tropical. Eternia had chilled his features, he had lost the baby fat, and had become far leaner and taller. He had completely changed in looks.

If only I'd paid more attention to Alternis, I thought now, staring at his armor. If I'd told him to take that stupid helmet off, we could have saved our worlds a lot easier. I mean, if we puzzled it out that Ringabel was actually Alternis, we could have saved a _lot_ of time, I bet.

And yeah, I felt guilty too. All of Alternis's troubles lately had to have been because of me. I'd rejected him multiple times without thinking how intensely he must have felt towards me, I'd kicked him off a ship that was airborne thousands of feet, and now he was forced to be with me. I needed to start showing him more respect.

The only way to do that was to apologize and get this whole awkward business out of the way. And since I was Edea, this was going to be hard. Edea Lee, asking for forgiveness to somebody who wasn't Agnès or her own parents? That never happened.

I took a deep breath. "Alternis, um, I wanted to..." I wanted to what? Apologize? I felt really stupid. "Um, I wanted to talk about... well, what happened on that-"

"This is for you," he said in a curt voice, interrupting me. He jabbed his hand out to me and I saw an envelope in his armored hands. Mother's loopy handwriting was on the front and she'd written my name. It was probably a note apologizing for not being here to see me off. I had insisted she stay in the hospital; her health had taken a turn for the worse after skipping all her medical examinations.

Hesitantly, I took it, taking care not to brush my fingers against his, which was ridiculous as I was wearing gloves and he was wearing his usual gauntlets. "Um, thank you." I said, my cheeks burning at his interruption. I decided to begin anew. "So ah, um, as I was saying earlier, I wanted to talk about what happened on Grandship."

"Can it wait?" he asked, the same curtness in his voice. His damn helmet made it impossible to know what he was thinking, but I suspected he wasn't very pleased to see me. And why would he? He was probably very angry. "I've got a ship to fly."

He turned away, without waiting to be dismissed, his metal armor making clanking sounds against the wooden plank. Bewildered, I stared after him a moment, shocked that he'd left.

Then I grew angry. How dare he ignore me?! I slammed my boots against the wooden planks as I hurried after him to catch up.

"No, it can't," I said, as we walked. Once I caught up with him, was it my imagination or had he started to pick up the pace? Was he avoiding _me_? Annoyed, I matched his pace. "I wanted to talk about Grandship and I wanted to apologize for pushing you off."

He grabbed the helm of the ship. "You don't have to apologize for that. I stumbled off on my own." Which was sort of the truth. The ship was shaking as bad as it was, and Alternis had been leaning against the railing when he fell.

"Yes, but..."

He finally faced me, his helmet making it impossible to read him. "Edea, you're bothering me. I can't fly this ship with you prattling on about things I really could not care less about. Please leave."

He said it in a carefully guarded voice that bordered on slight frostiness. Between the rush of the sea and the rest of the crew that was bustling about, I didn't think anybody heard him rebuff me in such a way, but I still felt like everything stilled at his words. Shame crept up, boiling hot up my wrists to my neck and my face. I couldn't believe this... I couldn't believe he was shutting me out!

Alternis never shut me out!

I expected the enormity of my shock to eventually give way to anger; that was usually how I reacted to everything, after all. Anger, recklessness, that was usually how everybody described me if they wanted to be less than charitable.

I didn't expect hurt. But that's what I felt immediately, and it didn't feel good at all. I wasn't about to let him see that his reply hurt me a lot more than I'd expected it to. "Okay, sure," I said, trying to inject nonchalance into my voice. "Sorry, I didn't realize you were busy flying the ship. Maybe we can catch up another time? See you later." I said it all in a rush, and quickly bounded away from him before I could crumble.

By the time I reached my cabin, the Eschalot had just started to rise into the air. Normally, I would have loved to watch the take-off. To feel the wind comb and caress my hair and to laugh at the freedom I felt in the open skies. But instead, I'd holed myself up in my cabin and felt a wave of loneliness, deep and terrible wash over me.

I began to count the minutes until I could see Agnès again.

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**So that ends chapter two! As always, I appreciate reviews, favs, follows to show that you like the story!**

**So far the pace is a tiny bit slow... in fact, I don't think we'll meet Agnès until the chapter after the next or possibly the one after that! And Tiz won't come until much later, I'm afraid. But I hope you will all be patient with me. Thank you so much for reading!**

**-SE**


	4. Navigation

_My name is Edea Lee. I have friends I would die for, and parents who I now have won the respect of. I am slated to become the next ruler of Eternia, Luxendarc's most powerful kingdom. I have it all, I guess, except for one man who I thought I couldn't stand. I suppose you could say he left me... for myself. And I won't be getting him back._

**Thanks for all the reviews. I love you guys so much! For all the Americans, I hope you had a wonderful fourth of July! And for Muslims, Ramadan kareem! **

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It took a week to get to Ancheim on the Eschalot and I spent three of those days largely avoiding Alternis. I would only go on deck, when I was sure he was on break which was during lunch and night time, when his first mate took over the helm. My memorization of his strict schedule was probably the most I'd ever paid attention to him in my entire life, aside from when fought us on Grandship. I felt weird doing all this all of a sudden, but then I'd never really gotten into such an awkward position with Alternis in the first place.

I know avoiding him wasn't the best thing to do, and I felt the cowardice of my actions every single day. I wasn't the kind of person who shied away from confrontations, but this was because I usually knew how to respond in situations and tended to do so immediately on instinct. With Alternis, it was difficult. I didn't know what to say or do when I saw him. He wasn't black or white in this case, and I wasn't sure exactly what color to categorize him in, let alone understand what that color would even mean.

I couldn't avoid him during breakfast in the mess hall though. Breakfast was only open from seven to eight for the first shift, and the cook was adamant about cleaning up the second the hour hand turned to eight. During these times, I'd take my place as far away from Alternis as possible, and eat in my own little corner. Because I pointedly ignored him, I couldn't tell if he even noticed me at all. I mean, I _wanted_ him to, but at the same time I didn't want his eyes on me, when I sat alone.

It was humiliating. Outside my home, I never ate alone. I always made friends easily and sought companionship whenever I could. People always sought me out either because I was the Grand Marshal's daughter or because I was genuinely a person that got along well with others. And unlike Agnès or Tiz, I could fill up silence with ease. But this time was different.

After breakfast, I'd head to the communications room and check for messages. Usually there was none, save a message from Mother who kept me updated on Eternia. Her note that Alternis had given me previously had read:

_Edea_

_I'm so sorry I couldn't see you off. If I had the strength, you know I would. So I'm writing you this while Alternis waits patiently for me to finish. He is such a good man, you know? Always very concerned about you._

_Anyway, I'll be sending you telegrams from time to time, but it might be awhile before you get a longer correspondence from me so I have to make sure this letter counts!_

_I've noticed you have been feeling rather down lately and I think I can guess why - after everything that happened to you, after the things you felt you were forced to do, I can only imagine that it must be difficult to get over your difficult decisions and it shows; you look like you haven't been sleeping properly lately and it has me concerned._

_Most of all, when you told me about Ringabel, I couldn't help but notice he held a special place in your heart and you were beyond sad to lose him. In times like this, I normally would comfort you and tell you to take all the time you need in trying to get over him but alas, you do not have that luxury. You are a growing girl, Edea and one of the main reasons your father and I sent you off to travel the world, aside from making peace with the other regions was to find somebody and hopefully marry them. The only way Eternia will accept you as their new leader is if you have a spouse. Your father understood that when, after he married me, public approval and interest in him ran higher than ever. In each political scheme, you will find that public interest always rises when you have a family or are in the process of starting one. It may seem old fashioned, but it is true._

_The only reason we feel this is important is because while half of Eternia loves and respects you for being Braev's daughter, the other half still views you with distrust as they feel that you betrayed them. They do not know the truth behind your actions and I'm sure you know that it would be unwise to tell them exactly what happened. You must win them over, otherwise Eternia's rulership will be lost. As it is, ever since Braev's injuries, his approval ratings have lowered due to concern over his weakened state. People are looking to a new, stronger and more capable opponent and there are rumors swilling that a new political opponent is stepping up. I will keep you updated if you want._

_I don't want to pressure you, but time is of the essence and thinking about love that's impossible to return must take the backseat for now._

_I love you so much, Edea. Your father and I are so proud of you and no matter what you decide to do, we will always support you._

_Mahzer Lee_

I couldn't believe it. Marriage? I wanted to gag. It was the last thing I wanted to think about. I ignored that part of the letter entirely, and wrote a telegram back asking after her health. Though I admitted that I needed Eternia to approve of me more, I decided that I'd cross that bridge when I came to it. For now, I needed to focus on making peace with the rest of Luxendarc.

Mother never mentioned the marriage part in her telegrams afterward. Most of her messages went along the lines of: "HELLO EDEA STOP HOW ARE YOU -(STOP)- HOW IS ALTERNIS -(STOP)- PLEASE MAKE SURE HE IS EATING PROPERLY -(STOP)-

If you think I'm exaggerating, I'm not. Mother _always_ asked how Alternis was in her telegrams. I mostly lied about him, saying that he couldn't be better; how the hell would I know about his welfare when I was avoiding him?

Sometimes I'd get messages from other parts of Luxendarc; all regions had been notified of our purpose of visiting them which made me nervous. So far, Ancheim seemed open to the idea of an alliance which made me hopeful. Florem too, welcomed our visit though a little more hesitantly. There was no word from Caldisla or Eisenberg though, which made me worry.

I still didn't have a concrete plan with how I would set about winning the people over there. When I wasn't stewing in my own shame over Alternis rebuffing me, I threw myself into reading up on the rest of the regions and trying to come up with a plan. What seemed to be the best approach? Bribery? Flattery? We were already paying for the damages we caused, but I knew it would take more than that to really get them on our side.

I needed Tiz, Ringabel and Agnès. Agnès usually knew right from wrong; her sense of morality was as strong as mine and her will was even stronger. Tiz thought plans through in a realistic way and often times knew exactly what decision to make. He was a natural born planner, I realized. And Ringabel would have been able to supply information as he usually did when he was being unusually shrewd or wise.

I didn't have any of them yet though. I looked forward to seeing Agnès but until I saw her, I needed to come up with my own plan.

By the third night, I was exhausted. I hadn't been able to sleep thanks to the nightmares, and I was freaking myself out with the gravity of my impending mission. I needed fresh air. I exited my cabin and made my way to the deck. Often times I took a walk onto the deck at night because I needed the quiet, and I found the infinite night sky strangely comforting. I felt, when I looked at it, that my problems would always be insignificant in the grand scheme of things, and that made me feel calm. Either I went there to clear my head or to practice a few asterisks. I'd been trying to master being a Dark Knight and a Monk for the longest time after hearing Ringabel talk about his personal combination.

Tonight though, I just needed to clear my head. I crept up the staircase and opened the doors to the deck, reveling in the fresh ocean air. I closed my eyes as a gentle breeze whipped through my hair, easing some tension I'd been feeling ever since I boarded the Eschalot.

The night was cloudy which made it difficult to see anything, but I didn't mind. I approached the first mate, Theo, who was mumbling to himself. "How's it going?" I asked. Theo was probably one of the only people on here I regularly talked to, though not because I wanted to always. He was boring, but friendly and sometimes had the tendency to drone on about his favorite hobby which was unfortunately pottery. It was enough to make me smash my head against the helm sometimes.

Today, Theo had no lessons on pottery for me though. He looked pale, as he regarded a map in front of him. "The sky is cloudy today."

"So?" I asked.

"I can't read the stars. I don't know if I can pilot the ship. Blast it!" he said, smacking the helm. I waited patiently for him to get a grip which took a few minutes. Then he finally faced me. "Lady Edea, I hate to have you play the messenger, but I was wondering if you could get Alternis Dim for me. I'd rather not have this ship lose a night's worth of bad navigation."

There was an awkward silence as I regarded him for a long moment, wondering how best to respond. I definitely didn't want him knowing I was trying to avoid Alternis. "How about this; I stay here, and _you_ can get him." I suggested. It sounded reasonable enough. The thought of not only seeking out that insufferable dark knight, but also _talking_ to him made my gut twist.

"Begging your pardon," he said apologetically, "But you don't know how to pilot a ship. If something were to happen..."

"Nothing will happen in the five minutes it takes you to get him!" I snapped.

Theo bit his lip, his eyes crinkling in worry. He was far from intimidating; he was almost my height and weedy-looking. This made him look more pathetic. Finally he blurted, "Truth is, Lady, if _you_ were to command him, he'd actually come out with no complaints. See, he knows you well and all, doesn't he? And even if he doesn't, you still outrank him. He won't be as upset if the order comes from you rather than me."

_I highly doubt that_, I thought. I narrowed my eyes at him. "So you're doing this so you can hide behind my skirts. Is that how it is?"

Theo had the decency to blush but he nodded, much to my displeasure. Coward.

And of course, because I was a pushover, I let loose a frustrated sigh. "Alright. Give me a moment."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you so much, Lady Edea. I can't thank you enough for this."

My temper flared up at the thought of being manipulated into something I didn't want to do. "Mrgrgr! You owe me big time," I grumbled, and stalked off, making sure my boots clacking against the creaky floorboards sounded somewhere between authoritative and angry. I hoped this masked how I really felt; that I was about to walk into a hornet's nest.

_It's nothing_, I told myself. _All I have to do is just order him. I _am_ his superior, after all. I'll just command him to take the night shift. Nothing else. He has to obey me._ Yet when I reached his cabin, I steeled myself, sucked in a long, nervous breath and taking only a half-second to think this over, I rapped the door as professionally as I could.

"Who is it?" I heard his muffled voice ask.

"Me," I said automatically, and mentally kicked myself. _Me? As if he knows who "me" is!_

But as I had that thought, the door swung open and my mouth fell open and my mind went totally blank.

"Ringabel?" I breathed.

Because surely it had to be a trick with the way his dark eyes, those eyes that I found so troublesome, depthless and foolish all at once were staring down into mine. His hair wasn't done up in its usual pompadour but it didn't matter. I reached out to touch him to see if he was real, because he couldn't be.

And then he said, "Alternis," and I withdrew my hand sharply.

Duh.

Of course it was Alternis.

I wanted the ocean to swallow me. Or I could just drop dead. Or just rewind, or give Alternis a concussion so he would forget what I just said. Maybe I could push him over the ship again to make it happen.

This was not how I imagined this scenario to go. I was supposed to be cool, professional and the very picture of a leader. But one look at his face and I was reduced to a shaking mess. _Get it together, Edea!_

"I know who you are," I said annoyed, trying to still my furiously beating heart. Then, for full effect, I added, "Unfortunately." Thinking quickly on my feet, I said, "I meant to say, "ring a bell" as in, you took your time opening the door."

Alternis's eyes widened at my bullshit response, but other than that his expression stayed neutral. It was strange, I thought. I couldn't help but compare Ringabel to Alternis. They had nearly identical faces but Ringabel was like an open book. I could tell when he was deep in thought, or when he was about to crack a joke. I knew when he was trying to make me jealous, or when he struggled with remembering his memory. But Alternis remained a mystery. It was absurd, considering I'd known Alternis longer than Ringabel. "Why are you at my door this hour, Lady Edea?"

I bristled at the word "Lady." Alternis never used that title with me. His stiff formality was beginning to piss me off.

"Theo is struggling with the ship. He can't see the stars properly and that's the only way he knows how to navigate the ocean. I hope I'm not asking too much by ordering you to take control tonight."

Alternis frowned, and I found myself eagerly drinking in the way his eyebrows dipped, and the way his mouth pursed. It was not unlike how Ringabel sometimes pursed his lips when thinking deeply towards a solution. "I was just about to turn in for the night."

"Yes, I can see that you don't have that eyesore armor you usually have on," I said, injecting as much dryness as I could into my tone to mask how much I preferred his face to his helmet. I was still trying to figure out if it was because I could almost imagine him as Ringabel or because I was finding Alternis's face far more welcoming than his mask.

Then Alternis did a strange thing; he actually _blushed_. I was puzzled as to why he would do that, but then I realized why a moment later when he passed his long, pale fingers over his face in a self-conscious gesture; he hadn't been aware that his armor had been off this whole time. How was that possible? Had Alternis been so used to wearing his armor that he could no longer tell the difference when it was on or off? "I suppose I'll be out there. Give me a moment to get ready."

The knowledge of catching _him_ off guard made me want to smile, something I _didn't_ want him to see so I quickly snapped, "You don't need to wear that dumb armor of yours. Just get hurry and get to the deck."

I saw his jaw lock, but he said nothing but, "As you wish, Lady Edea."

"And stop calling me by that title. You can call me Edea the way you used to. I don't see what's stopping you now."

Alternis said nothing, but he did follow me out. I congratulated myself for having the last word, and was glad that Alternis wasn't walking next to me; he probably would have seen me trying to keep it together. There were a number of questions that were coursing through me that I desperately wanted to talk to him about; about the way he thought about me, about his fall, and how that impacted him. I admit, I also wanted to know more about what he was doing while I was gone.

I never realized how lonely I felt, that I couldn't talk to him and it surprised me. _But why should it? He's been in your life for a very long time now, Edea. Of course you would miss talking to him! Even if you didn't really think about him the way he thought about you..._ I thought back to when we fought on Grandship, when he had said he wanted to marry me.

I flushed deeply at the thought. To spring that on me, right when we were fighting! Of course, I wasn't sure if that meant Alternis really liked me, for _me_. I always knew he worshipped Father and loved the Lees and he had told me on several occasions that he privately wished he could be part of our family. Obviously the only way to become one would be to marry me. Did he want my title or was he really in love with me? I just really couldn't picture him caring about me beyond a sister or beyond the name. He had never indicated as much.

I opened the doors to the outer deck where Theo was waiting and bowed. "Lady Edea, Sir Alternis." I noted how red his face was, despite the poker face he was currently displaying. "I'm sorry to bother you, but-"

"It's alright, Theo. I'll take it from here," Alternis said, his voice sounding tired. I'd forgotten he'd stayed up all day controlling the ship. Pulling a night shift too had to be hard on him.

"I can stay if you'd like, I'm truly sorry to inconvenience you."

"The fault is mine. I probably should have given you the day time shifts. It's trickier to fly at night when there is hardly any light to guide you. You are free to go."

Theo bowed and muttered a, "Thanks," before he left, the heels of his boots giving a muted thud against the planks.

It was quiet for a moment then, as Alternis tried to figure out our bearings. He was studying a map of Luxendarc, when he finally spoke. "You can go too."

I chewed my bottom lip. The Past Edea would have done just that, but I realized this was a great opportunity to talk to him alone. "I... I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone here when you've already been awake since early morning."

Alternis finally glanced up, giving me a measured look. "You think I'd fall asleep here?" And I knew what he was insinuating there; that he couldn't believe I thought he was irresponsible.

"I know you're... disciplined and you probably won't," I said carefully. "But I thought you could use some company."

He said nothing, but turned the helm a few inches to the right. I felt the ship turn slightly east. Because the clouds also covered most of the moon's glow, I couldn't see his face clearly, but I could tell he seemed slightly relaxed by the way his eyebrows weren't furrowed, and the way his lips rested naturally, no tension in them at all. He had an expression that reminded me of Ringabel when he was flying, though less open. _So they both enjoy controlling the ship. It relaxes them_, I thought and I couldn't help but feel warm inside at the thought. I didn't want him to tense up again, but I couldn't help myself. I needed to clear up any sort of tension between us. All the silences between us were unbearable.

"So, what happened? After we left, I mean," I asked. "To you. I thought you would have died after the fall."

As predicted, I felt him tense up again, arms becoming rigid on the wheel. "I suppose it would have been easier for you if I had died. Sorry for the inconvenience, Lady." To anybody else the apology sounded casual, but to me it sounded bitter and sarcastic.

The words were like a slap to the face, but I told myself to keep calm. "Why would you say that?"

"I would just be collateral damage, I guess. Someone else for you to feel guilty about, but not nearly enough." He turned to see my befuddled expression and rolled his eyes which was rare for Alternis. Or was it? Maybe all along, Alternis was rolling his eyes at me underneath his helmet. I wouldn't know. "You stuck to your silly little ideals Edea, and I always have admired you for that. But you went _beyond_ that. Your father and mother and even Eternia might forgive you for the insolence you showed to your friends and family, but I never will. You discarded all of us without hearing us properly."

"That's not fair," I said, and my voice sounded high.

"Isn't it? For Crystal's sake Edea, you killed so many of the people you grew up with, just because you made new friends in the span of a few days. You believed _them_ over _us_. It makes you really wonder how valuable you think of the relationships you've forged over the years. You grew up with Einheria and yet she paid the price. It's the same with her sisters, your father... Master Kamiizumi-"

"Shut up!" I said loudly, losing it completely when he said Kamiizumi's name. I'd lost my composure now. I didn't care. "Don't act like you understand. You weren't with me, and you don't know what I saw." I took a step towards him and seized the lapels of his shirt. I was beyond shouting. I yanked him down so he was face to face to me. The last thing I wanted was have him looking down on me, as he often did. I saw his tense face loosen in surprise at my sudden actions. He tried to pull back, his face reddening in surprise, but I held on. I didn't care that he felt uncomfortable at our close proximity. This close, I could see my reflection in his dark eyes, and I saw how infuriated and terrifying I looked, which was how I felt. "You think none of their deaths mattered to me? Every day I wake up, wishing I was in another world where everybody was alive and believe me, there were a lot of worlds where everybody I cared about survived. I could have stayed with them, I could have had my happily ever after and nobody would have really cared or noticed I was from a different world..." And I thought back to Ringabel, thought back to the way he'd made his decision to go back to his world and I was staring at Alternis whose face was so like Ringabel's yet so unlike his. Suddenly everything was so painful because I finally really _understood_. I understood the decision Ringabel made because _I_ had made the same decision. We all did, actually, Agnès, Tiz and I. I just didn't know it until now.

I averted my gaze from Alternis and pushed him away a little more harshly than I intended, facing ahead. I couldn't look at him right now, I just couldn't. I waited a beat, swallowed, and then said in a normal voice, "I could have stayed there, but I came back."

"Edea..." His voice sounded rough, like he hadn't taken a drink of water in days. If I closed my eyes and pretended that I was traveling back in time, I could lie to myself and think he was Ringabel. But a small part of me told me this was wrong. I had to face reality.

I faced him again. "I am truly sorry for what happened on the Eschalot, and for my actions. I recognize they were selfish and perhaps not the best way to deal with the situation at hand. I know that there were ways I could have prevented death, and I regret it all. If I could go back and do it all over again I would, just so I could save the lives I took. I know that it doesn't seem like I care, but I do. I could have stayed behind in an ideal world, but I chose to stay here because I needed to face the damages I've caused. The only way I can move through this all, is to look ahead and that's what I intend to do."

I wondered if he believed me. I watched his face, inscrutable as ever and with the silence pulsing through my ears, growing unbearably loud, I became frustrated. "Well? Say something!"

He bowed. "I used to think you'd make a great leader someday, as good as the Lord Marshall or even better. But now I know that you're already there."

I felt my heart strike powerfully against my ribs, yearning to be free, once or twice, and then faster and faster. Despite the chill of the night, I felt warm and I realized that even if Father and Mother believed I could do this, I also was waiting for Alternis's approval as well. I sighed, and then smiled. "So are we good then? Could you... forgive me?" I peeked up at him.

He regarded me for about a second before turning to the wheel again, his face peering intently across the ocean. I saw the hesitation in his face, and felt myself grow cold with fear. But then he said, "I could never be mad at you for a very long time. I'm on your side." His voice sounded strange when he said it.

I stayed with him for several minutes before growing sleepy. I excused myself, and made my way down to my cabin feeling lighter than before. It wasn't until I was properly in bed that I realized why he sounded strange when he said those words. He sounded like he had just come to a decision. There had been a tone of finality in his voice after all, but I detected sorrow in there too.

I tried to puzzle it out, but in the end, I fell asleep and lost myself to dreams that eventually turned into tangled nightmares.

* * *

**So that ends chapter three! As always, I appreciate reviews, favs, follows to show that you like the story!**

**Hopefully next chapter, we'll meet Agnès and things will start picking up! Til then...**

**-SE**


	5. The Wind Vestal

_My name is Edea Lee. I have friends I would die for, and parents who I now have won the respect of. I am slated to become the next ruler of Eternia, Luxendarc's most powerful kingdom. I have it all, I guess, except for one man who I thought I couldn't stand. I suppose you could say he left me... for myself. And I won't be getting him back._

**Thank you for all the reviews!**

**I wanted to address one in particular. A guest commented that Edea and Alternis's confrontation happened a little too fast and the reason for that is, well _all_ issues haven't been resolved yet despite their confrontation. Edea and Alternis still have problems they need to sort out, and you'll see this soon enough in this chapter.**

**Another guest, named Cheetos inquired as to whether or not Edea would eventually get back Ringabel or if this is a fic that is about her moving on. For the last question, yes, it is absolutely about her moving on from Ringabel, as well as trying to come to terms with who she is as her own being. Edea has always been my favorite character and I thought that her after story had a lot of material that could be expanded on (well, all four of them really had stories that could be expanded on, but Edea's was most interesting to me) As for what may happen with Ringabel... Well, I _will_ tell you that as I've done a little bit of further plotting, he will be making an appearance but that's not to happen for a very long time at the rate I've been going.**

**Also, I'm so sorry that my chapter lengths have been increasing. They went from 2k to nearly 5k per chapter! ;_; I can't help myself, though I'm certainly trying. If anybody has a problem with the lengths, I beg you to please refer me to a beta who is good at cutting out content because I seriously cannot do that myself (I think everything is important!)**

**So without further ado...**

* * *

Ancheim was just as I remembered it last; a dry and dusty clockwork of a city. Aside from its unnaturally spicy cuisine, I had to admit, I wasn't a huge fan of Ancheim. I made sure to cover myself up in loose, light clothing that only left my eyes showing. I reasoned that this sort of dress would be good for two things - not only would it protect my body from the harsh climate but it would also give me a sense of anonymity which was what I was looking for. With my pale Eternian features, I knew I'd stick out like a sore thumb amongst people who had darker complexions. I wanted to scout the city on my own before I decided to announce myself.

This was why I'd also ordered Alternis to dock out of sight. Initially, I wanted to go by myself but Alternis flat out refused.

"I can take care of myself," I grumbled. "And it's not like there's any threat here. Everybody loves Agnès here and I'm sure she can vouch for me if anybody were to notice me, which is unlikely."

"The Lord Marshal commanded that I not leave your side."

I rolled my eyes, stabbing at a piece of cod. It was the night before we were supposed to set out for Ancheim. "Just a few days ago you wanted nothing more to do with me. You pick now of all times to listen to "the Lord Marshal's" commands?" I asked, mimicking his reverent tone when he used my father's official title.

He ignored my jab. "The Eschalot is different. You are surrounded by allies here. You will not be so lucky in Ancheim."

I slapped my forehead with my palm and exclaimed, "Ridiculous!"

Theo, who had also been dining at our table bit his lip. "Well, begging your pardon, Lady Lee," he began timidly.

"What is it, Theo? You're going to take his side too?" I snapped. _Why is it so hard to just go off on my own?_ I longingly thought of all the times where I'd gone off by myself when I'd been traveling with Tiz, Agnès and Ringabel. Most of the time Ringabel had argued that I not go alone, but I usually easily shot him down. I hadn't had this kind of problem then. I missed my freedom.

"No," he almost squeaked, and I felt guilty for getting mad. "But I do have to point out that we're running low on supplies. The Eschalot needs refueling and we're running low on food and a few other combative and healing items. We've almost used up our stock of antidotes, as it happens and since we don't have an adequate White Mage..."

I groaned, rubbing my temples. I had never really mastered the White Mage asterisk; Agnès had been our White Mage. I knew I was beaten here. "Very well, I suppose I can manage to bring two guards with me. Theo, I'll need you to take over command of the ship until I send word that it's alright for everybody else to come out."

"You wont even notice I'm following you," Alternis said, once Theo left. I ran my eyes up and down his fully black armor which had been polished until I could see my reflection in it. I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, you're not suspicious looking at all."

"I can't decide whether that's sarcasm or not."

"Don't think too deeply," I said, still in a mood. I finished the rest of my food and wiped my mouth with a napkin. I couldn't see any way out of keeping the truth from Alternis, I decided to speak up. "You'll have to ditch that armor if you want to guard me."

I expected him to protest, but instead he nodded. I was surprised at how easy it was to get him to agree to my request. I thought things might be smooth between us ever since I confronted Alternis that night, but I couldn't have been more wrong. Though he tolerated my presence, talking to him was like pulling out a healthy person's molars. It used to be that Alternis used to seek me out for conversations but now it was _I_ who sought him out and when I did try to talk to him about things aside from our mission, his answers were sparse and one-worded. It frustrated me to no end, but I told myself that the reason was because as of now, Alternis was my closest friend on this ship. Though the rest of the crew was gracious and kind with me, I never really felt a close bond with any of them. It probably wouldn't bother me as much once I had Agnès by my side.

When Alternis _did_ talk, it was usually to voice disagreement with my plans. He opposed almost all my ideas. When I suggested buying the latest fashions in Ancheim and gifting them to the girls in Florem in an effort of winning them over and to also forge ties with Ancheim he shot the idea down calling it an unnecessary waste of time, pg, and effort. "I think dealing with the Matriarch is a better option, after all, she is the ruler." Even though I tried to counter that the Matriarch had no sway over her people, he still stuck to appealing to the Matriarch directly.

So it was a huge relief that he agreed with me this time, especially considering what next I was about to ask. Steeling myself, I looked down at my hands and said, "I also need to make a little detour."

"Detour?" Alternis's voice sounded dour behind his helmet.

"Well, I was hoping we could first visit the Air Tem-"

"Absolutely not," Alternis cut me off.

I made no effort to disguise how I really felt. _Let him know I'm angry_, I thought savagely. "By Eisen's lava, why not?"

"After your father you are the next biggest face when it comes to Anti-Crystalism. How do you think you'll be welcomed there?"

"Agnès is the vestal there, so I'm pretty damn sure my presence will be tolerated!" I fired back. "And I'm not trying to brag here, but I think most Crystalists are aware that I was at least partially responsible for keeping their religion alive."

"It's too dangerous," he insisted. "Your actions before may make them love you, but this is now. You have made it clear that you stand by your father the moment you ruled in his absence and took this mission. They may not trust you as readily as before."

For a moment, I was rendered speechless. It was something I had been thinking of all along, but hadn't said aloud. It looked like Alternis had taken care of that. I didn't know how to respond but I was exhausted and my patience was wearing thin because of it. I wanted to end this argument as soon as possible. I stood up. "I really don't like doing this, Alternis, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to pull rank on you. You can't control my actions. I _will_ go to the Temple and you can stand in my way, but I will fight you if you do and you can bet I won't be using just words next time." To emphasize my point, I put a hand on my hip, where Ise-No-Kami's sheath was. I tapped my fingers lightly against the cool surface, waiting for him to respond to my obvious threat, trying not to show how hesitant I felt about the whole situation.

I knew I was practically an expert with the sword. Years spent with Master Kamiizumi had made me a formidable opponent, yet I hadn't been able to beat Alternis thanks to his powerful Dark Magic. But I'd grown as a fighter since I left Eternia and traveled different worlds and regions. I was sure that this time I could hold my own against Alternis, but I wasn't sure if I could win especially considering I hadn't been sleeping well. If truth be told, I needed my guards more than I was willing to admit.

Alternis was silent for a few moments. "Fine, I will come with you." I almost let out a sigh of relief.

"Then it's decided. Glad we could finally agree on something for once," I muttered.

"You didn't give me much choice. If you weren't so stubborn..."

"What did you just say?!"

Alternis said nothing, merely choosing to leave. I rubbed my temples, comforting myself that when I saw Agnès, things would be a lot smoother. She would offer some solace.

* * *

At eight o'clock the next morning, Alternis and I departed the Eschalot, dressed down. He was wearing a costume that looked like the spellfencer's costume which obscured his whole body except for his face.

On foot, the Wind Temple was almost half a day away and we only encountered a few Caits. On the whole, the trip was very boring, and by the time the sun was at its harshest I was actually hoping for a little bit of action. Or shade. I would welcome shade gladly at this point. By the middle of our journey, I had already drunk more than half of my waterskin. The last time I'd consumed this much water was the first time I'd made this journey with Tiz, Agnès and Ringabel. I remembered even then that I passed out, but I was determined that this not happen today.

"Hot day, huh?" I asked, taking a gulp from my waterskin. I was sweating profusely. I wondered if I'd get a sunburn despite covering myself up.

"You should ration your sips, Edea," Alternis responded. "Who knows if the Air Temple will grant us water?"

I rolled my eyes. My tongue was already starting to feel dry. "Alternis, these people do not have a mean bone in their body. All they want is to worship in peace."

Alternis frowned at my response. "You should be more cautious. Did you forget what happened to the Earth Temple and how peaceful _they_ were toward the Lord Marshal?"

I stopped in my tracks. "We are _not_ having this conversation right now. It's too hot."

"I agree. It's too hot to argue when it comes to you." His words hardly stung anymore; I expected as much coming from him.

I opened my mouth to fire off a retort, but I felt a sudden wave of dizziness come over me. "Whatever, Alternis," I said instead, starting to walk again. I could see the spires of the Air Temple. They wavered and shimmered due to the heat. Hopeful, I tried to walk a little faster, but I was so overwhelmed by the rising temperatures I felt like I was slowing down instead.

"You act like you're the only person who's seen the world and interacted with these people but you forget that I've been doing just that as well," Alternis pressed on.

"Congratulations," I managed to muster. I rolled my head back to glance at the sun, wondering when it would decide to set. Beads of sweat were rolling off my back in droves. "You went around the world and killed people. You really understood who they were. Too bad most of them are dead." I knew I wasn't being fair, but I could hardly think straight. I reached around for my waterskin at my belt, and tried to undo it, but failed. The strappings were too tight and my fingers were clumsy from the sweat and heat.

"Yes, and that's what you did too, let's not forget."

"I already said sorry!" I said loudly, and another wave of dizziness washed over me. I waited for the world to right itself. "What else do you want from me, Alternis? Want me to grovel at your feet? Beg forgiveness? Renounce my title as a Lee so you can take over Father's empire? 'Cause I'd be gl-"

"Edea?" Alternis said, his voice sounded far away, but it sounded very worried. "Edea!"

I dropped to my knees, the burning sand offering little relief. I wanted to tell him I was alright, and to stop treating me like a little weakling but I couldn't even move my mouth. The last thing I remembered was Alternis's face hovering mine looking almost worried, and then I was out for good.

* * *

"She's used to Eternia... I assume being out in the sun for that long..."

"This isn't the first time that this has happened..."

"...You don't mind? It's not that I don't trust you..."

"...We've had differences..."

"...The Lord Marshal..."

I began to cough. "...Why...?"

"Edea!" a hushed voice said nearby my ear. "Are you alright? You've been out for nearly an hour since we brought you in. I think it was a heatstroke. Lucky you were so close to the Air Temple."

"A-Agnès?" I croaked, cracking open one eyelid. It took awhile for my eyes to focus, but it was unmistakably her with that feathery long brown hair and large chocolate eyes.

"You are safe right now. Ringabel... Alternis, that is, brought you in."

I didn't have the strength to process her mistake. I groaned, "Water?"

"Ah, yes of course!" She was out of my sight, so I sat up.

The Air Temple was just as I remembered it after we'd rid it of beasts; solemn, cool and dim. Though this place exuded peace and calm, there was an air of deep seriousness in here. I didn't think I could survive here and I wasn't sure how Agnès could her whole life. Then again, I'd always gotten the distinct impression that she wasn't overly fond of crowded areas. I sat up in the cot that I was placed in, and took in my surroundings. There wasn't much to look at aside from the drab grey stone walls; there was an old wooden table next to me and a small wardrobe against the wall. The one window this room offered let in a patch of sunlight that ended at my blanketed feet. I craned my neck to the side and saw Alternis at the doorway, a blade in one hand that currently looked relaxed but I wasn't fooled; it was a stance that all guardsmen in Eternian Command adopted which made it easy for them to spring to combat mode easily. Even here, he was on edge which bothered me. This was a place of worship.

When our eyes met, I saw him avert his eyes to the doorway. I ran my tongue over my parched lips and found that they were clean and moist. Somebody must have wet them while I was passed out.

"Well that was embarrassing," I said, trying to lighten the mood. My voice was hoarse so it sounded all wrong. "But at least we got here." He still wasn't looking at me. It occurred to me that he might be angry. And why wouldn't he be? He never wanted to come here in the first place, and I passed out on him. Imagine if I died and Father blamed him? It wouldn't look good.

"Um, thanks for saving me by the way," I said running a hand through my hair. I loosened a few grains of sand. "I didn't think I'd pass out..."

He finally turned to face me. "Apparently this isn't the first time you've passed out in Ancheim's desert?"

I turned red. "Who told you that?"

"The Wind Vestal."

Inside my head, I swore. _I need to have a few words to Agnès about keeping her mouth shut!_ "Well, I did the first time I came here," I admitted. "But within a few days I grew used to the heat. It's been awhile since I came back though, so I guess my body couldn't take it."

"Clearly," he said, his voice dry.

At that moment, Agnès came in, a try with a pitcher and a full glass of water. I drank three glasses without stopping before I finally turned to my friend who smiled at me. "Feeling better?"

I returned the smile sheepishly. "Almost as good as new. Though, this isn't the way I wanted us to meet." For the first time since I started this mission I felt at peace. Agnès could be such a worry wort, and truthfully amongst the four of us she really was the one who kept us on a schedule, fearing the worst if things didn't go as planned. But seeing her face calmed me. "It's... I can't describe how I feel seeing you again."

"You make it sound like we would never see each other again. Did not Tiz, you and I make the promise that we would see each other in six months? But I am glad you have come sooner. We have much to discuss, but first... I must respectfully request to take your weapons. Please understand that this is a holy place of worship and instruments of violence are normally not permitted here. I have already confiscated yours, but ah, your friend Alternis refused my acolytes."

Annoyed, I shot a glance to Alternis who had chosen to turn his back on us. "Alternis! What is the meaning of this?"

"Forgive me if I do not share your sentiments that we will be unharmed. We are in a temple _full_ of Crystalists."

I scrubbed my forehead. "They are not the enemy here. Alternis. Surely Father told you this."

Alternis crossed his arms. "The Lord Marshal and I are not the same person."

"Really? Could have fooled me," I snapped. I took a deep breath. "Again, I hate to pull rank here, but Alternis if you do not surrender your weapons, I will order you back on the ship. Do not forget that I have the authority to do that." I kept my voice blunt and sharp.

Alternis turned around then, his dark eyes attempting to sear into mine. For a moment, we stared at each other, him challenging me and me refusing to back down. A moment later he said, "As you wish, Lady. I will surrender my weapons." His salute towards me was stiff and mocking.

When he exited, I burst out, "He is the absolute _worst_!"

"You were rather rude to him though, Edea," Agnès countered.

I started. I'd forgotten she'd been here all along. "Sorry you had to witness that," I muttered, drawing my legs up, so that I could rest the side of my face on my knees. "He just really bothers me. He's supposed to be on my side, yet he's making my job more difficult at every turn. If he were anybody else, I could have him fired from his job for being an insolent little jerk!"

"But that's just it, isn't it? He isn't anybody else," Agnès said gently. "He is your childhood friend, and for the longest time he was the one that _you_ looked to for answers considering the age gap between you both. It has been many years since you both have been reunited, I presume, but old habits die hard. I expect he is not used to answering to you for a change. Either way, would you rather have him blindly follow your commands or speak up? A true friend is one who allows himself to say whatever is on his mind." She put a hand on mine and caressed it. "You should know that. You taught me this every single time we had our own arguments."

I was oddly touched by her words, but at the same time I didn't want to back down. "It doesn't matter. I still outrank him!"

She clucked her tongue. "Outrank? Do not treat him like your employee, Edea. He is much more than that."

A small part of me knew she was right, but at the same time I still wanted to be angry at him. I was also surprised at what Agnès had said; a few months ago I was sure she would have joined me in insulting Alternis. After all, he had treated all Crystalists like enemies, and Agnès was now the sole face of it.

"Have you talked to Tiz recently?" I asked, wanting to change the subject.

Agnès looked like she wanted to talk more about Alternis, but she responded, "Not since we said our goodbyes." She looked a little saddened by this.

I frowned. That didn't seem like Tiz at all. "Maybe he's busy with the reconstruction of Norende?" I suggested, but deep down I knew that no matter how busy Tiz was, he would have contacted Agnès to see if she was okay. It was no secret to anybody except perhaps Agnès and Tiz themselves that they were absolutely smitten with each other. "Have you tried contacting him?"

"Yes," she frowned. "And yet, he has still not responded. I have written to him five times already. I hope he is not in trouble," she said, her worried expression darkening her pretty features.

"If he was, I would have heard about it," I reassured her. Despite Eisenberg and Caldisla's chilly attitude towards Eternia's requests for an alliance, I was still getting updates from both regions if there was any unusual behavior. If Tiz was gravely ill, or dying or dead even, I was sure to hear about it. Tiz was Norende's last surviving citizen so doubtless, it would be news if anything major happened. I didn't like seeing Agnès sad, so I changed the subject again. "Tell me about Ancheim."

So for the next hour we talked about what she'd been up to. As it turned out, she had to pick a new team of acolytes since her previous ones died and had been training them on their duties and restoring the temple back to its original glory. Thanks to our previous antics with exposing the Khamer and the Profiteur, most of Ancheim's people looked up to Agnès and Crystalism was as strong as ever here. "Because of that, I've had no shortage of help when it came to rebuilding the Temple and finding acolytes. My people are not only hardworking, but they are very kind."

"And uh, any chance on building an alliance with Eternia any time soon?" I asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.

Agnès looked uneasy. She began, "I understand your concerns, Edea. Truly, I do. And I do not believe your father is a horrible person anymore." I saw how she was beginning her sentences and I suddenly didn't want to hear the end of it anymore. "As it is, most of Ancheim does not know that Khamer, the Profiteur, and Khint were all hired by Eternia, so it would be easy for this alliance to unfold. But you can understand my reluctance in signing off on something so quickly."

I was almost devastated. I hadn't counted on having Ancheim being difficult with us too. "Any wrongs we have committed, we have already offered to repair. Building an alliance would also benefit you, since we are one of the most technologically advanced regions in Luxendarc. You would find us a powerful ally. Agnès, you _know_ me. You can trust in my word that this time Eternia is keen on bringing good to Ancheim."

Agnès smiled strangely, and suddenly it was like she was not even looking at me anymore. "I... believe me Edea, I would love nothing more than to trust you. After all, I consider you one of my dearest friends. I know you would die for me, and I, you but... I also once upon a time trusted Airy with my life."

My heart nearly shattered looking at Agnès. I had almost forgotten that out of all of us, she probably felt the most traumatized. It was no secret that Tiz, Ringabel and I only tolerated Airy's presence and if truth be told, I actually disliked her far more than I let on even before learning of her true nature. I found her to be selfish and a hindrance. Beyond instructing Agnès of how to awaken the crystals, she did nothing more than nag and press us on our mission even when one of us were in mortal danger.

But Agnès had truly cared for Airy and had sought her guidance. She had believed that the reason Airy clung to her so closely was because Airy cared about her, not that the supposed cryst-fairy was keeping a watchful eye for her most precious asset as a Vestal. It had to have struck her the hardest when it came to Airy's betrayal. These adventures had merely left me with nightmares, but Agnès would forever be haunted by the fact that she'd been deceived and fooled in one of the worst ways possible. She must have felt responsible for her actions, I realized.

I sighed heavily. I couldn't force Agnès into an alliance when she was constantly self-guessing herself. "I understand, and I won't press you on the subject anymore. But know this; I am not Airy. I can't tell you that I won't hurt you because I do not know what the future will hold but I hope you know that I would never lie to you and that everything I do is because of not only my own interests, but also yours." I rubbed her shoulder, trying to mask my own disappointment. "We are friends, right?"

Agnès looked uncertain, which was like another stab to my heart. "O-of course."

"If you could, please send Alternis back in. I'd like to speak with him before I take rest. I'm a little weary." It wasn't a total lie. I needed to recuperate and search for a new way to prove to Agnès that I could be trusted with building this alliance. It was hard to see how I could do this; I'd given up my whole life in Eternia for Agnès and her quest. I couldn't help but be at least a little resentful that Agnès could not see the enormous sacrifice I'd made.

With Tiz and Ringabel, they had nothing to lose. Tiz had already lost everything he ever cared about, and Ringabel had no memories, save for his own journal which had instructed him to do whatever he did next. Allying with Agnès was almost a no-brainer for them but I made my decision to follow her, knowing that I could very well be killed by the people I loved, admired and respected. The alternative to this was that I'd have to kill these very same people.

I didn't want to sound like a crybaby, so I kept my mouth shut. After all, we'd all had our hardships.

Agnès squeezed my arm gently and I wished she would just leave. I didn't want her to see how hurt I was. A moment later, she did and I almost breathed a sigh of relief.

I blinked a few times to rid myself of any threatening tears. I could not be seen as weak to anyone. I was a leader. When Alternis came back in, I smiled brightly at him, forgetting that I was mad at him.

He returned it with a perplexed frown. "What happened? Didn't go as well as you thought?"

My smile dropped. You had to wonder at how somebody I disliked so much, could read through my bullshit within a second. "As soon as we're well rested, we're heading to Ancheim."

* * *

**So that ends chapter four! As always, I appreciate reviews, favs, follows to show that you like the story!**

**Too bad, looks like Edea is facing challenges from everywhere! And what's up with Tiz? Is Agnès being selfish? Will she ever turn around? We shall see... soon, hopefully.**

**-SE**


	6. Leadership

_My name is Edea Lee. I have friends I would die for, and parents who I now have won the respect of. I am slated to become the next ruler of Eternia, Luxendarc's most powerful kingdom. I have it all, I guess, except for one man who I thought I couldn't stand. I suppose you could say he left me... for myself. And I won't be getting him back._

**Thank you for reading!**

**So without further ado...**

* * *

"Prime Minister, it's an honor," I said, bowing low, according to Ancheim's customs. In Ancheim, women and men who were not related to each other typically did not touch each other on purpose as it was frowned upon. Those of the same sex often hugged in greetings. I stared at the middle-aged man in front of me. Dominus Harena was a fair person, and I was hoping my meeting with him would be far more fruitful than it was with Agnès. Every time I thought about the Wind Vestal, I wasn't sure whether I was sad, angry or sympathetic towards her apprehensions.

She herself seemed regretful when she hugged me goodbye. Even though I didn't know how to feel around her, I still felt the loss when she hugged me. The next time I would see her would be in a little less than five months. That was a long way to go.

"The honor is mine, my dear princess," he responded. Around us clocks were continually ticking, creating a strange lullaby. "To what does Ancheim owe your honor?"

I smiled, trying not to show how nervous I was. I shouldn't be nervous. I knew Dominus and we had liked each other. At thirty-nine years old, he was surprisingly young to take on reestablishing Ancheim and filling its coffers once more. "Well, the truth is we decided to visit Ancheim. We find your culture... charming," I lied. "As well as your ah, customs. Perhaps Eternia could benefit from Ancheim if we could forge a link between us?" I had also read that Ancheim consisted of very prideful people. Ancheim took pride in everything they did and if you so much as criticized a tiny detail of their living as an outsider, you would be ostracized. Their sense of patriotism matched Eternia's.

While my smile was uneasy, Dominus's was quite the opposite. He seemed to be enjoying himself. "Do you truly believe that, princess? You seem rather uncomfortable."

He'd seen right through my bullshit. I tried again. "We do believe that we could benefit from each other."

His smile was still serene when he responded, "Do not take me for a fool princess, and lie about your attitude towards us. I have seen the way you view our home once before. You can be open with me and speak candidly on what you _really_ want from Ancheim."

I swallowed. Damn! This went against everything in diplomacy that I'd been taught as well as flattering Ancheim. I stared at him uneasily. Who knew Dominus Harena could be a hard ass? I suppose I shouldn't have been too surprised though; the family name Harena should have clued me in automatically. Harena was perhaps one of the oldest families in Ancheim, if not the most powerful. Prime Minister Harena had old, noble blood in his veins. Though he claimed to give power to the people, he definitely had the brains, name and charisma to sway their decisions.

I suddenly realized something else; Harena had repeatedly called me "princess" even though it wasn't my official title. Mostly, those in Eternia called me "Lady" after my mother. I had originally discarded his oversight as a cultural difference - Perhaps the title "Lady" did not exist, so he had called me princess instead. But seeing his relaxed, yet clever smile now, I realized that was wrong. Dominus Harena knew exactly who I was. He was choosing to call me princess on purpose.

The thought that he was toying with or patronizing me couldn't be possible. He had been so gracious and kind when we left. So why was he...?

"I'm waiting," he said.

I pushed these thoughts aside for now and tried to focus on him. If he wanted blunt honesty, then he would get it. I wasn't sure what kind of response he wanted but I intended to find out. I put my hands flat out on the table in his study room. "Yes," I said flatly. "I do believe an alliance with Eternia would mostly benefit Ancheim, rather than the other way around. We are so technologically advanced that your kingdom could not possibly compete. We have ships that can fly, machines that can amplify white magic that could make us virtually ageless due to the fact that it can cure almost any disease. Our economy may be suffering right now," I admitted, "due to recent war efforts, but with time we will bounce back. And don't call me princess."

I made sure my eyes were locked in on his as I said every word.

He sat back in his seat. "So here it is, then. The arrogance that most Eternians display when they so rarely visit other regions. That wasn't so hard, was it?" He said it like he wasn't trying to insult me at all, just that it was a fact. But it was in this way that made the slap even worse.

I clenched my teeth together to prevent my anger from unleashing. "I don't know what game you're playing. You asked me what I thought about Ancheim honestly, and I'm telling you it."

He sighed and shook his head sadly. "Edea, you have the makings of becoming a wonderful leader someday but I pray you not follow in your father's trap. Your father too had strong ideals he clung to, and refused to shake them off. His opinions of Caldisla, Florem, Ancheim and Hartschild were that they were fine nations but not comparable to the might of Eternia. And in some respects, perhaps he was right. Eternia could probably crush us if they so dared to thanks to your formidable power. Because of this, he failed to treat the rest of the nations with the same respect as he treated his own. It's little wonder that Eternia's standings with the rest of the nations were already weakened by the time your father decided to plunder ahead and capture the Wind Vestal." He paused, as if he'd just considered something. "It was probably why the King of Caldisla refused your father's request initially to capture Agnès in the first place. If Eternia and Caldisla had a strong alliance, I am sure Agnès would most likely be imprisoned in Eternia, or likely dead. I can see you heading down that path yourself if you aren't careful."

I crossed my arms, suddenly annoyed. I longed to lash out at him and tell him that he was wrong, but I couldn't bring myself to because deep down I knew he was right about the fact that I believed Eternia was a heaven compared to the rest of the kingdoms I had seen. But it was true, wasn't it?! Even Harena had to see that. I couldn't quite see his point. It wasn't like I would repeat the same mistakes my father would, would I? I would not act as rashly...

I frowned. At least, in theory I wouldn't. But if Ominas Crowe hadn't blatantly disobeyed his orders and set fire to one of Caldisla's houses, who knows how the rest of the events would have played out? Would I be sitting here today negotiating an alliance with Ancheim? Or would I already have that same alliance under the horrible rule of the Khamer who continued to employ the Profiteur to drain Ancheim of its wealth?

I took a deep breath. "What do you suggest I do then?" After all, despite my training from the very best teachers, Dominus Harena still was more experienced with Ancheim's affairs than I was.

"Stay here for a few days, weeks, maybe months. Get to know Ancheim and see where its strengths lie. When you report back to me, I shall have a new contract written up that will cement our alliance. This new contract will outline everything beneficial you observed in Ancheim that could be useful in Eternia."

I groaned. I wanted to protest. I didn't have that kind of time! But looking at his face, I knew he would not be dissuaded. I also knew that if I voiced my concern on time, I would only be strengthening his claims that I didn't care for Ancheim as much as he thought I should.

* * *

I was sweating in a crowded tea shop two days later when Alternis slid an ornate glass cup full of tea to me. I hadn't spoken to Alternis within that time gap, choosing instead to visit all my admittedly few favorite haunts in Ancheim. I hadn't alerted Alternis where I was going, but I suspected he'd followed me regardless at a distance where I wasn't aware of him. Without his armor on, he was hard to spot, and lighter on his feet.

I pushed my blonde hair away from my face. Even with all its heat, Ancheim still took its tea time very seriously. Workers from all over the city had their break time during mid day and it seemed like most of them chose to spend it in tea shops like this one.

"Thanks," I said, as he took a seat opposite of me which was the first word I'd said to him other than the usual "Morning." I avoided his eyes, and continued to watch the long line of people giving their orders.

I felt him studying my features and I waited for him to say something, but he didn't. Instead, he sipped his own tea in silence, not even waiting for it to cool. Finally, I faced him and answered the question that lingered between us. "It didn't go well," I snapped. "Happy?"

"I didn't ask," he said, his voice delicately smooth. "And I wouldn't say I was happy. Each day we spend here is another day we risk our lives. Anti-Crystalism is not viewed favorably here."

He sounded like a parrot, repeating that same opinion over and over again, but I was starting to see he was right. How could I have been such a fool to think that getting Ancheim on our side would be a piece of cake? The last time I'd been here, I hadn't come as an Eternian. I'd come as simply Edea, which was why Dominus had treated me like a friend. But now that I came as the future ruler, even Agnès viewed me with distrust. I was starting to hate my future. "I don't know what to do," I confessed. "On one hand, I don't want to disappoint Father. But on the other hand I can't really see how we're supposed to create an alliance with a nation so opposite to us. I should have known better. Ancheim is perhaps the most different from us." Whereas Eternia was all about grand, sweeping gestures, I'd noticed that Ancheim consisted of simple folk who worked hard and were only interested in items if they were functional rather than fashionable. Depressed, I thought about Florem, Hartschild and Caldisla. It would only be an uphill battle from here.

"That's true," Alternis said, after swallowing yet another sip. He drummed his fingers on the wooden table, his face impassive. "The place is a dry, hot desert full of Crystalists. It doesn't get any more opposite than that."

I blew on my tea gently and took a sip, discovering it to be pleasantly sweet. Usually, I had to add more sugar. "This tea is delicious. It's not often anybody gets my order properly on the first try." Ringabel, who usually insisted on getting my coffee or tea usually made it cloyingly sweet or too bitter. Of course, once he regained his memories, he'd only made me a single cup of coffee and that was only when I'd asked him to. He'd gotten it right then too, which surprised me.

"This wasn't the first try," Alternis reminded me, breaking my thoughts. His fingers on the table stilled, and a wry smile softened his features. "The only reason I know is because I have observed exactly how much sugar you put into your drink. It took me a few times to get it right in the beginning whenever you used to ask for it at home but..." he trailed off, looking wistful as he recalled specific memories.

I couldn't understand how it was possible that a person who I'd regarded so passively, had paid such close attention to me.

For that matter, I thought, perhaps that had been my attitude towards the rest of Luxendarc. I'd always thought that Eternia would be the center of the world. I still did think it was the most powerful, but I hadn't really, _really_ considered the people of Ancheim and how differently they were raised to think.

I'd never been aware because before this whole Crystal mess, I'd never bothered to really integrate myself and see how _they_ viewed the world.

I focused on Alternis. "You really miss those days, huh?" I asked, smiling at him.

His eyes slid to mine, wonderingly. "Of course I do. Don't you?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, in some ways, I guess I do. I miss the way I put things in neat little boxes. The world seemed a lot simpler then and even though I hardly saw Father, I still had Mother and you." I offered him a sheepish smile. "Well, that is, until we began to train."

He flushed, and then as if he realized I could actually see his expressions, he glanced away from me. "Yes, your father sent me off to master the Dark Knight asterisk even though I repeatedly told him I wanted to be a Templar too. I suppose in the end he was right. I do not believe I would have made an able Templar."

"And after that, it's like you never took that armor of yours off." Something about that bugged me enough to ask, "Alternis, why did you-"

"Ringabel?" A squeal rang through the bustling tea shop.

I jerked my head in surprise, tea still in my mouth, at the source of the voice and saw a dark-haired, voluptuous woman rushing over to Ringabel. Most women in Ancheim dressed very modestly, choosing to ward off the heat and sand by covering up in loose clothing the way I was right now. However, a select few women chose to wear as little clothes as possible to minimize the sweating and provide easier movement. The spellfencer's asterisk costume was in vogue for those reasons.

This woman was definitely in the latter list. My eyebrows shot up further when I saw her launch herself at Alternis, nearly making him topple off his chair. She straightened herself on his lap, grinding her hips against his, before crossing her legs dramatically. She threw her arms around his neck and squashed her chest against his face when she hugged him. "You said you'd send me a letter, but it's been nearly half a year since you left and no word!" I saw her lipsticked mouth pout and she gave me a curious glance.

I choked on my tea, my eyes sliding down to her chest. It was a miracle that some women were so well endowed and here I was, hardly skimming an A cup. Alternis was trying to free his face, saying, "Excuse me but I don't think..."

I realized my eyebrows were still up, so I relaxed them and managed to find my voice. "Who are you?"

The woman, who I had to grudgingly admit was gorgeous, gave me an icy stare. "I don't believe I have to tell you that. The real question is, who the hell are _you_?"

I couldn't believe the gall of this woman! It wasn't hard to tell that she'd been one of Ringabel's previous women he'd gone on about so often. I used to think they didn't exist, and that he talked about them to just brag to the rest of us, maybe make me jealous. But here was one standing in the flesh, and I hated her. Angrily, I stared her down. "I'm Edea Lee, for your information," I snapped. "Heir to Eternia, a Hero of Light, and responsible at some point for saving Ancheim's sorry ass more than once. And what are you? A whore? Where's _your_ brothel located?"

I couldn't really understand why I was so angry and why I felt so threatened by this woman, and at the moment I didn't want to. I realized I'd stood up, and had my hand on Ise-no-Kami's hilt in a threatening gesture.

The woman turned a deep shade of purple as she unwound herself from Alternis who looked pink in the face and dazed. He didn't look like he particularly minded being in such close proximity with the woman which pissed me off even more. _Even Alternis is so idiotic when it comes to women!__  
_

Around us, the tea shop had gone unnaturally quiet as people began to watch us, murmuring. A small voice in my head told me what I was doing was really bad, that I could jeopardize my mission, and that I should stop, but I couldn't now. If I backed down, I would be seen as weak, as a fool.

I watched her walk up to me, gazing at me through narrowed slits. Her eyelids were coated in sparkly powder. She was taller than me. "You? Eternia's future ruler?" She let out a tinkling laugh which sounded about as annoying as sharpened nails against a chalkboard. "Don't joke with me. What would a spoiled brat such as yourself even be doing here?" She narrowed her eyes even further as she studied me. "Although, you do have the ugly wormy features of Eternian scum. I didn't realize you could look so pink, almost like those naked mole rats."

"Edea," I heard Alternis protest weakly. "Don't draw your sword." He was still sitting in his seat, his hands over his lap, but he no longer looked dazed, only worried.

I forced myself not to do anything rash. The woman smirked, which only enfuriated me. "You fucking bitch," I snarled. "You'd better get lost before I kick your ass."

"Ringabel was right about you, you know," she said, her eyes darting to Alternis. "Uncouth, barks like a dog. So talk about calling the kettle black. He'd complain about you _all_ the time we were together. Isn't that right, Ringabel?" she asked towards Alternis, but didn't bother to wait for his response. "Hm, yes, Edea Lee. Too bad, I practically made him forget _all_ about you-" she yelped.

I'd drawn Ise-no-Kami and I held it against her throat. "Say one more word," I said, my words shaking with emotion. Blood was pumping in my ears. "_One_ more word about him and I'll kill you." I was a stewing black ball of fire that wouldn't be put out so easily. I wanted to cut her throat so badly for even saying his name. I wanted to see her pretty little smirk go slack in death, I wanted-

"Edea!" a voice called out. A cool hand grabbed my free one, and pulled me back. "Let's get out of here." Suddenly, I could hear everybody around me murmuring.

"The Wind Vestal?"

"The Wind Vestal is here?"

"Lady Agnès! Savior of Ancheim!" I turned around to find her large brown eyes, looking at me, her gaze full of deep concern and oddly enough, guilt.

Her brown eyes made me swallow and drop my sword from the woman's throat, shoving it back into its hilt. My heart was pounding furiously, and my throat was swelling up, making it difficult to speak. The world blurred around me. I felt like I was five years old, so small, on the cusp of throwing a huge fit because I'd just fallen down and scraped my knees.

But this wasn't just some scrape. I'd embarrassed myself in a tea shop, and nearly murdered this woman. Worst of all, her voice rang in my ears about what Ringabel had said about me to her. Was she telling the truth? I thought back to the way he'd pressed his lips to my forehead before he left for his own world. Was I really that repulsive to him?

I let her lead me away, numbly. It wasn't until we were outside that I realized why I couldn't see properly. Outside the tea shop I let out a long sob, and Agnès, who I thought I'd never want to see again, it was Agnès who crushed my face to her shoulder and allowed me to cry, holding me tightly.

"I'm so sorry, Edea," she kept saying over and over again, squeezing me as if she'd never let go.

Her apology only made me sob harder.

"I n-need to go! It isn't g-good here... to cry," I said, or at least I thought I did. Who knew if anybody could understand what I was saying at that point. At this point, I wasn't sure if I made sense any more, just that I needed to get out of public eye. I was embarrassing myself even more by being out here crying, but I couldn't seem to control myself.

Agnès steadied me. "Shh, it's going to be okay. Follow me." I felt her hand, clammy and warm, lace with mine as she drew me away from curious glances. I didn't know where she was taking me, but I didn't care. I followed the sound of her footsteps, of the great ticking clock that loomed before us, ominously counting down to something I wasn't quite sure of.

The ticking got louder.

* * *

**So that ends chapter five! As always, I appreciate reviews, favs, follows to show that you like the story!**

**-SE**


	7. New Plans

_My name is Edea Lee. I have friends I would die for, and parents who I now have won the respect of. I am slated to become the next ruler of Eternia, Luxendarc's most powerful kingdom. I have it all, I guess, except for one man who I thought I couldn't stand. I suppose you could say he left me... for myself. And I won't be getting him back._

**Thank you for reading and for the reviews! You all rock!**

**Firstly, I'd like to thank Casamora who pointed out an error I made in chapter two. I incorrectly stated that Einheria killed Olivia when it was in fact, Victoria (Somehow, I always manage to forget Victoria and Victor made their first official appearance there, heh.) Thank you, for pointing that out! I'm in the process of fixing it as I type this...**

**And secondly, thanks to those who gave me feedback on the word count. This one is larger than the last, since y'all said you didn't mind. ;P I'll be sure to write as much as I want, and try not to rush things. If I do, don't hesitate to tell me!**

**So without further ado...**

* * *

"Do you remember this place?" Agnès asked when I finally managed to control my sobbing. She'd had her back turned to me and was studying the dark, stone corridor ahead of us, her hands on her hips. I had a huge headache, but at least I'd stopped. I didn't know where Alternis was, but at the moment, I was too embarrassed and strangely angry to face him. My reaction to that woman had shown a very ugly side to me. She hadn't deserved my wrath, or at least not to that extent. I always knew I had a horrible temper; but I'd rarely ever snapped that badly. I knew I needed to work on my temper.

With Agnès's question, I glanced around properly for the first time at where we were and recognized it immediately. "This is the passage that leads back to the upper floors of the Palace. This is where we discovered the Profiteur and the Khamer plotting to drain Ancheim of its wealth and to purge it of any Crystalist belief."

The place was cool and dark. A few rats scuttled here and there. I remembered looking at them and being thoroughly disgusted. Before my travels, I'd only read about rats. Central Command never had them and Master Kamiizumi was very strict on keeping his quarters clean and bare, thereby leaving no rats interested. The rats in this corridor were not cuddly. They'd had crooked noses, matted fur, sharp teeth, and bald tails. It hadn't helped when Ringabel caught one and held it by the tail right in front of my face because he claimed, "I looked pretty when I was scared". When he let go of the rat, I'd left a handprint on his cheek claiming that made him far more attractive. He had smiled ruefully, rubbed his cheek and said, "Then I'm glad to have it, my Angel." He'd been nothing but a nuisance to me at that point in our journey.

Apparently, he'd thought me a nuisance too. My insides grew cold and shriveled just thinking about what that woman had told me. It was always possible that Ringabel had thought all those things about me. After all, I'd been the least kindest to him. I certainly yelled at him a lot more than I'd spoken to him like a decent human being.

"Yes, this is that passage," Agnès's words floated towards me. "Dominus is thinking about converting it to something different, but I wasn't sure what. What do you think?" Agnès asked, finally facing me, her face inquisitive.

Immediately, I thought about converting this place into a sanctuary. Just in case Ancheim was attacked, the weak and youth could gather here. The place was built like a labyrinth so it would be hard for enemies to find them here if they didn't know where to go.

I also thought that this could make a decent warehouse. Ancheim was notorious for droughts, so I thought having a large storage place for food and water might be useful.

There were actually many uses for this place, I thought. But I didn't know for sure what the right answer was. "I couldn't possibly answer. I..." I took a deep breath, and pushed Ringabel and Alternis out of my mind. "I think you and Dominus should decide. It's clear that you understand your home far more than I ever could. I have a few ideas, but I am not so sure they would fit the demands that your kingdom needs." I was finally beginning to really understand what Dominus Harena was trying to get at when he'd asked me to stay in the city for a few days. Reading up on Ancheim was not the same as experiencing it, and although I'd been here in different worlds for days, I'd never made it my mission to simply study and breathe in the culture. Trying the cuisine was the only thing that interested me, but that wasn't close to getting the whole picture. It was no wonder Eternia looked down on Ancheim; we didn't really understand them at all.

Agnès smiled at me and I knew I'd said whatever she wanted to hear. "I would still hear your opinion."

Humbled by her request, I spent the next fifteen minutes I detailing several options, and Agnès listened with rapt attention. She seemed interested in what I had to say and asked me questions that sometimes I didn't even have the answer to. "While wheat and rice and barley might serve up to the purpose of storage in case of drought, perishable items might be hard to come by."

I frowned. "I'm aware. But I hope you know that your kingdom would not have to be alone. Eternia could send you anything you needed, if we had a surplus. And Florem is only a day away if you take a sky ship."

"We currently do not hold a lasting alliance with Florem and we don't have the technology for a sky ship."

I considered her. I could not promise her an alliance with Florem on Eternia's behalf, so I concentrated on the sky ship problem. On one hand, I couldn't make the promise that we could supply her one. I wasn't even sure if Father would even consider the idea. Sky ships were valuable, and one of the main reasons we were considered the most powerful military. Nobody else had air power, and it was advantageous if we were to wage war. If we shared the technology with Ancheim, then Florem, Caldisla and Hartschild would also demand them too, and that would put us all on equal footing.

I was uneasy with this idea. I know it sounds bad, but I wasn't ready to commit to having them all on the same level as Eternia was. I pondered over the fact that maybe in the distant future this could be possible, but who was to say that they were all secretly harboring resentment towards us and once they received the technology in weaponry to be on the same page as us, they would also use it against us as revenge for what they did to us?

"We could station an Eternian post here that would enable you to use them at will," I said. That way they could use it, but it would still be ours.

Agnès folded her hands across her chest. "A shrewd solution, Edea." I saw her dark eyes shift to something that seemed more rueful than what it once was before and in a strange way I understood.

Now that she and I were leaders in nations that distrusted each other, we had to act for the best for our own countries. It was hard to say if our friendship would survive this. I had always thought that proclaiming that I'd sacrifice myself for a friend's was the biggest form of trust, but I was quickly beginning to realize how far from the truth that was. My life was my own but Eternia belonged to the people. I couldn't be playing around with their lives just because I trusted Agnès, and she could not do the same. As long as our people distrusted each other, we had to act in their best interests, no matter how strong our friendship was. It was painful to realize that one of the qualities of being a leader was to put the people first before my own needs.

I didn't want to be the future ruler of Eternia, I suddenly realized. This price was too steep to pay. Would I run into the same problems with Commander Goodman, and Tiz? I didn't know if I could continue to bear it. Silently, I cursed the fate that I'd been thrust into. If only Father hadn't acted so rashly in his pursuit for the Wind Vestal. Good intentions were empty if the actions that accompanied them were strife with blood and terror.

We'd left a bloody path, and I didn't think it would take a mere year to right the wrongs we'd left in each country. I turned to Agnès. "It doesn't have to be this way."

She sighed. "I can't think about it right now. It's too painful and complicated. Let's talk about you instead. I think I can guess at why you reacted the way you did back at the tea shop, but I'd like to hear it from you first."

I blinked. I'd almost completely forgotten about how I'd made a complete fool of myself. The familiar feelings of shame and embarrassment crept up on me as I realized with horror what a fool I'd made of myself. With a groan, I sat down and put my hands in my head. As much of a bitch as that woman had been, I was worse off for reacting to her the way I did. I may have felt like I'd been backed in the corner, and needed to blow off some steam, but all of that should not have been directed at her. She wasn't to blame, no matter how rude she was. A true leader, I reflected sadly, would not have lashed out in anger.

Agnès waited for me expectantly, and I was so glad that she came back for me that I only hesitated for several seconds before recounting what had happened in the tea shop. The whole time Agnès was quiet. Not for the first time did I appreciate her aptitude in being a great listener. Her eyes widened, and narrowed at all the right parts, and aside from a few gasps, she hardly interrupted at all.

"And so, I think I've made a mess here in Ancheim," I concluded. "To think that I messed up a future alliance because of some petty tiff."

Agnès gave me a sympathetic smile. "You miss Ringabel, don't you? That is why you reacted as you did. Is it possible that you realized your feelings for him before he left?"

I sighed. I obviously already acknowledged my feelings for Ringabel inwardly. But it was not so easy to admit it aloud, even if it was to one of my best friends. "I don't know. It's possible, I did. Maybe." I was getting closer to the truth, and my heart was pounding painfully. "I don't know, I guess I took him for granted and maybe he sensed it to, which is why he complained to that woman. Somehow, I went from despising his comments, to expecting them, to finally looking forward to them. Don't ask me how it happened."

Agnès said nothing. She turned her back on me suddenly. "I don't know what to tell you, Edea. I miss Ringabel too, but I cannot imagine how much you do. I hope you know though, that there was no other way this could have ended."

I'd been haunted by that scene so many times, it made me want howl in frustration. I'd approached it at every angle, wondering if Ringabel could have come back. "I know that," I snapped. "That's what makes it worse. If I could just hate him for making the wrong choice, for going back for the wrong reasons, this would make it easier, but I can't." How was it possible to be angry at Ringabel who went back in the past to save... me? I sighed. "Ever since we defeated Ouroboros, everything hasn't exactly been a walk in the park for me."

"You can say that again," Agnès admitted quietly. "Though Ancheim seems to be getting back on its feet, I still have so much more work to do. Edea, I do not even know where to begin. I am the last vestal in Luxendarc. Every Crystalist's eyes turn to me for me to lead their way, yet I am barely just twenty years old, hardly anything beyond an adolescent. I feel the weight of their expectations every single day and what is worse is that I don't think I can meet them. I must be their leader, and it frightens me because the last time I tried to save the world I was so naïve to think I was on the right path. Instead, I was horribly wrong. Every move I make now terrifies me. Sleep is no longer a refuge for me either."

The last sentence sent a chill down my spine. I got up, walked towards her, spun her around gently so that I could face her properly. I scrutinized her face, and noticed her dark circles rivaled mine. "You get them too. The nightmares." I felt a strange mixture of relief and concern; on one hand I was glad I wasn't the only one who was suffering. But on the other, I understood Agnès completely and felt totally helpless to do anything else.

Agnès seemed surprised at my observation, then she shrugged. "Yes, though I am surprised that you do as well. I suppose it is the price I must pay for being so stupidly betrayed by Airy." The corners of her eyes tightened almost imperceptibly at mentioning the cryst-fairy's name. "I was the biggest fool of us all."

"No way, Agnès, you didn't know!" I protested.

"Do not defend me, Edea. The fault is all mine." She wasn't meeting my eyes, but I could see the guilt written all over her face, the way the corners of her mouth pulled down, as if she were holding back her tears.

She didn't deserve to beat herself up over this! I suddenly felt very protective of her. I shook her shoulders so that she would look at me. "It's not all yours. It's also mine too. I've been thinking about ways we could have prevented this, and I know that if I had paid more attention to Alternis as we grew up, we could have made the connection a lot sooner and maybe Ringabel would have regained his memories quicker. What kind of person doesn't even know the face of her childhood friend?"

Agnès shook her head, and a sly smile overtook her weary expression that startled me. "Well, you seem to be making amends for that."

The need to protect her vanished, replaced by suspicion. I dropped my hands from her shoulders. "What do you mean by that?" I demanded.

"I think you may have not enjoyed the sight of that woman coddling him right in front of your eyes." Agnès let out a girlish giggle, one hand placed over her waist, the other covering her mouth daintily. I was astonished by her sudden shift in mood, but I kind of understood the need to grab at the light-hearted moments when they came by. I watched her, the very picture of femininity, laughing. When I first befriended Agnès, I'd been secretly jealous of her ability to be so feminine and graceful without seemingly trying. It was a small wonder that Tiz had absolutely been smitten by her and Ringabel often commented on the way she seemed to move like a dancer. For me, I'd needed the help of hair styles and make up tips to get along with other girls. My fighting style was more about being functional and landing powerful blows. Additionally, I was useless at using staves and my ability as Spiritmaster, White Mage, Salve Maker and Performer, all traditionally feminine roles, were pretty much useless, as I preferred power in my attacks. But as I got to know Agnès more, I began to appreciate her daintiness. She really was a thing of loveliness. She'd been robbed at the Florem festival, I realized. Those superficial jerks really needed to take a closer look at her.

...And maybe they could. I thought about what Father had told me in the beginning. Accompanying the Wind Vestal as she searched for more Vestalings... Agnès hadn't really said anything about doing that yet, but if I could get her to come along with our main traveling party, rather than sending guards to accompany her whenever she felt ready, and if we combined our efforts to make it happen...

"Agnès," I said suddenly. "I got it! I've found a way to solve our problems!"

...Or some of them, anyway.

* * *

Alternis's eyebrows were raised so high, that they almost threatened to become obscured by the hair that fell over his face as he heard my plan.

I was still somewhat annoyed at him that he hadn't defended me back in the tea shop, but I swallowed that annoyance to tell him my brilliant idea. I also was forced to admit that it wasn't in his place to do so, yet the nagging feeling would not go away. Next to me, Agnès was silent, curiously studying Alternis. I knew what she was doing. Like me in the beginning, she was comparing Alternis to Ringabel and noting their identical faces, but marveling at the fact that all resemblances stopped there. Most of the time, Ringabel often had a carefree expression on his face and his smiles were plentiful and playful. Alternis's face was tight and controlled, and his smiles, rare as they were, were usually deadly sharp or full of surprise, as if he didn't even know he _could_ smile. And while Ringabel had always styled his hair into that ridiculous coif that gave him the flamboyance of a womanizer, Alternis had let his ash blond hair hang over his face unstyled. Grudgingly, I had to admit it looked kind of sexy, giving him that brooding edge. Without even trying, he managed to exude that attractive bad boy appearance that many girls ended up fawning over. Which was strange when you considered how much of a stickler for the rules he was. He was anything _but_ a sexy rebel.

Earth's Crystal, I did _not_ just think that he was attractive. I thought back to Agnès's giggle and told myself that the reason I had just thought that way was because Agnès had said that. No other reason.

"Okay," said Alternis, raking a hand through his hair, pushing it back from his face.

I blinked rapidly a few times. What were we talking about? "Huh?"

"I think it's a good idea," he clarified slowly, as if he were speaking to a mentally impaired person.

This, I was not expecting. My jaw went slack. "Wait, r-really?"

Alternis stroked his chin with his long, slim fingers thoughtfully. Despite Ringabel and Alternis being totally different, they sometimes had the same quirks. Ringabel too, stroked his chin that way when he was thinking things over. "I think it's our best shot at winning Ancheim and the rest of the nations over. And, no offense meant to the Wind Vestal-"

"Agnès," I corrected. When would Father and Alternis ever learn to call her by her actual name?

He continued on, as if I hadn't interrupted, "But we'd have a closer eye on her to ensure she wasn't spreading vicious lies about the Anti-Crystalist movement."

I rolled my eyes, annoyed. "Alternis, for Crystal's sake, apologize!"

"It's alright," Agnès said hastily. "I'm not offended." But her expression said otherwise. She narrowed her eyes at him and I wondered when the world had gone mad enough to make me a peacemaker between the two. I could see from the start that these two would not get along. "There is no time for us to spar with ideologies and words. I shall run the plan over with Dominus Harena. I am sure he will have no objections with it, once I make it clear that I am on board with this idea."

"And in the meantime, I'll be drawing up a new pact for Eternia and Ancheim," I finished.

Agnès smiled. For the first time, I noticed she looked less weary and I didn't blame her. This would solve most of our problems hopefully, if things ran smoothly. When she left, I immediately began to write conditions in the contract. Agnès had helped me with a lot of them already.

Alternis cleared his throat a few times. I was well aware he wanted me to break the silence, but truthfully I wasn't sure I wanted to talk to him alone. I didn't know what to say to him after my outburst. My heart unexpectedly began to pound a harsh beat against my ribcage, and to make sure he couldn't hear it, I scribbled away madly.

"Edea," he said softly, finally breaking the silence on his own. The way he said my name made me flush.

I longed to look up, to respond, but I didn't know what I would say. I bent my head lower, and detailed the plan for building a post for Eternians.

"Edea," he said again, his voice low and _very_ close to my right ear and this time I jumped.

"Personal space, Alternis!" I barked, finally glaring up at him. He was actually a few feet away from me, but his drawing presence was making me feel very uncomfortable. _This is all Agnès's fault_, I thought to myself, annoyed at the Wind Vestal. If she hadn't said that I'd been... _jealous_ I wouldn't be feeling this way. There was no way I could get jealous over where Alternis's attentions lay! But the thought had lodged itself firmly at the back of my head, refusing to come out unless Alternis got too close.

He looked surprised at my outburst, almost hurt at the tone of voice I'd addressed him in. I felt bad, but not bad enough to back down.

"What do you want?" I asked, this time in a quieter voice, yet still hostile. _Stop it, Edea! Why are you acting like this? _Panicking, I tried to think about how the old Edea would have reacted towards Alternis in this kind of situation, but I was drawing blanks. It was like I didn't know how I used to be before I'd become hysterical towards that woman. Which was a damn shame, because I definitely preferred the old me to this trembling, scared-out-of-her-wits, me.

He pulled up a chair so that he could sit next to me, twisting his body sideways and leaning towards me, one arm on the table which also supported his head. He examined my face with a deeply studious expression on his face, which made me flush deeply. I'd sometimes thought I'd caught Alternis looking at me over the years on the rare chance he visited, but I could never be quite sure because he'd always been wearing that damned armor of his. But now, he was studying me up close and without the armor to filter the intensity of his eyes, I felt a lot more naked than I ought to have. I swallowed nervously, glancing down at the contract.

"You look like you would rather be anywhere but next to me." He sounded dispassionate about it, but I caught a little tremor of uncertainty there too. Or perhaps I was just reading too into it.

"I'm not," I retorted automatically, flustered at how on target he was. "Just stressed is all." I began to breathe a little easier, when he didn't respond to that. Maybe Alternis would just avoid confronting me about what happened in the tea shop.

"Is that so? Is that why you yelled at that young lady at the tea shop?"

Or maybe not.

I bristled at the way he'd addressed her as a "young lady." _Deep breaths, Edea. So what if he called her a young lady? That's the polite thing to do. _It still infuriated me, and I could hear Agnès giggling in the background, but I decided it would be unwise to voice how I felt on the subject. "Yeah, that's all that was. Nerves. Now if you'll excuse me..." I picked up my pen and was about to start the contract again when his hand closed over mine, effectively stopping me.

His hand, warm and smooth and knuckled, shot tingles up my arm. His palms were a lot more smooth than mine were and it took me some time to figure out why. He usually wore gauntlets which protected his from the worst callouses. I, on the other hand fought with thinner gloves or with bare hands. My first instinct was to pull away, but withdrawing would just be weakness. "I think you're lying," he told me quietly, his posture deadly still.

"And I think you should take your hand off mine," I said in just as quiet a voice as his, just as still as he was.

His grip tightened on me, refusing to obey. Probably because I lacked any sort of conviction in my voice. "You seemed pretty upset at those woman's words. Were you and... Ringabel, was it? Were you and he especially close?"

"Why do you care?" I asked, despite myself. The thing was, there was probably some point in my life where I could have told Alternis practically anything. Of course we had drifted apart, but these past few weeks, despite him being a pain in my butt, I had grown to appreciate confiding in him. There were things that I was far more comfortable discussing with him, that I'd have trouble discussing with even Agnès. As he'd grown up in Eternia like me, our ways of thinking may clash most of the time, but they usually tended to tread upon a similar path. We argued a lot over the finer details, but I realized that our big ideas were not so different, aside from the fact that he thought all Crystalists were mostly evil. And while I kept my personal opinions from Agnès at times especially when I risked offending her, Alternis was a different story. I never gave it a second thought to make him know how I felt and he did the same to me.

But right now was different. Discussing Ringabel felt strange and unnatural to me. How did I tell Alternis about how I'd loved a different version of him? My eyes swept over his face, wondering where to even begin.

"We used to be friends, Edea. What happened? Can you not tell me even this?" His dark eyes bore into mine, and I noticed with a little jolt that while I'd often mistaken them for brown they were actually a very dark gray.

I almost smiled at his question. Such a simple term: friends. "I..." I began. Looking at him was too painful, too confusing. I averted my gaze. "I reacted with weakness, that's all. Of course I care about Ringabel. When you are fighting to keep each other alive, it's only natural to grow attached to a person." My mouth was extremely dry. I tried to swallow.

"Were you in love with him?"

My eyes flicked over to him again, this time in surprise. I could see the trepidation in his eyes, as if he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear the answer, but there was more concern for me than anything else. I felt my brow crease. "I don't want to hurt you," I said, my voice shaky.

He looked puzzled by my answer. "Why would you think you were hurting me?"

Oh Crystals, this was it. It had taken weeks to reach this point, where I was finally going to confront Alternis over what happened on Grandship so many months ago. "Well, because, that is, you said you wanted to marry me." Though I was uncertain of whether or not his feelings for me were genuinely romantic or not, I still thought that it must have been a disappointment to know that one of his counterparts had done to me what he could not do in the years he'd known me. It had to have been a deep blow to his masculinity or whatever.

He took his hand off mine, as though he'd been burned and leaned away from me. For a moment, I thought he was going to be angry, with the way he recoiled at my question, but instead his face broke into an uncharacteristic smile. It looked so foreign, yet I couldn't help but get lost into the way his lips lifted at the very corners. He needed to smile more. "You're worried about that?" he asked, his voice light. "Edea, you must understand I am not the Alternis I was a few months ago. I acted rashly on Grandship and said things I did not mean. Don't worry about what happened on that ship, because I certainly don't."

_Ouch_. "Oh," was all I said. I knew at this point I should probably feel relieved that it was over and done with, but all I felt was heavy disappointment wrap around me. "Well, that's good. I mean, good to know that's one less thing to worry about. I mean, I thought it was kind of weird that you proposed so suddenly. But I think I get it." I let out an almost strangled laugh. So why didn't it feel good at all? I felt the need to be alone suddenly. I watched his hand, the one that had been on mine earlier, slide across the rough surface of the wooden table gently.

"So, about Ringabel?" he pressed, after a long pause.

I forced my gaze back to his. I still wasn't comfortable with discussing Ringabel to him, but now that he'd confessed his feelings weren't romantic towards me at all, I didn't feel the need to hold back. After all, Alternis was right; we were friends. And maybe he could help me out here. "Yeah," I confessed. "I am - or was - in love with him. It doesn't matter, though. He's gone."

I waited for him to say something. After all, I'd just admitted something deeply personal. But, "Tragic," was all Alternis responded with, which irritated me more than I expected. How could he be so flippant?

"Do you mock me?"

"Not at all. I believe if he'd been here, things could probably have been smoother. Think about it, with him around, there would be two Warriors of Light on Eternia's side, rather than just the one."

I wanted to smack him for making it about business, rather than my own feelings. Maybe it was because I already felt so wounded that I felt that way, but as I watched Alternis, who wasn't looking at me anymore, I realized he had a point. It still hurt that he wasn't comforting me though. Well, what did I expect? A girl loses her love interest. It happens all over the world. It was probably the least urgent of my worries, yet I spent most of my time thinking about it. In the end, I felt pretty stupid. I felt like a frivolous little girl, and Alternis had led me to think that way with his flippant attitude. It bothered me a lot, and I didn't want to him to have that effect on me.

I cocked my head sideways, studying Alternis thoughtfully. I wondered if Ringabel ever regretted getting his memories back. Did he want to stay Ringabel forever, carefree and playful and (for the most part) quite easy to get along with? Or had he resumed the role of Alternis, dark and brooding and always clashing with everybody around him?

"So you want him around?" I clarified.

"Sure, why not?" Alternis confirmed, oblivious to my thoughts as he drummed an erratic beat on the table. "But there's no way he could really be here now that he's gone. It's pointless to discuss."

I smirked, my mood suddenly lifted. It was true, Ringabel wasn't here anymore. I reflected on Alternis's pale pallor, the way his eyebrows dipped harshly to give him an intense look, the light tint of his blond and his wiry, long frame. Same body, different personalities. "Actually... I think we can bring him back."

He hadn't grasped my plot yet, when he asked, "How?" But when he finally saw my smirk, his expression immediately turned sour. Ah, the Alternis I was familiar with. I knew he was going to disagree, now that he understood, but I didn't care. "Edea, this isn't... this probably isn't a good idea," he stammered.

Because I was going to turn Alternis into Ringabel.

* * *

**So that ends chapter six! That doesn't seem like a great plan, Edea! As always, I appreciate reviews, favs, follows to show that you like the story!**

**-SE**


	8. Sleeptalking

**Thank you for all your feedback! You guys all rock and I'm continually pleasantly shocked that people are still reading this story _and_ are really nice about the feedback. Couldn't ask for better readers, really ;_;**

* * *

_Dear Mother,_

_How are you and Father? How has your health been? I hope you haven't been skipping out on your examinations. Your health is important to all of us._

_It's been some time since we last exchanged anything but a telegram. I thought a nice long letter might suffice. As far as Ancheim goes, I've been here nearly a week. The weather here is as horrid as ever. I know you've never traveled outside of Eternia, but rest assured you would not like Ancheim or Eisenberg if you ever happened to travel. Both these places are rife with heat that I am sure must come from the very source of Hell. I would recommend Florem or Caldisla, as both are far more pleasant in weather._

_Despite Ancheim's deplorable weather, the people have been extremely kind to me. Everybody here has a work ethic that far surpasses our own peoples'. It's admirable actually. The city never stops ticking and tocking. At first, it really bothered me at night, but now it's strangely soothing. They've also got a cleaner solution of drawing energy. Though they do not have many resources at hand, they do use wind energy to power their factories. As Eternia gets strong winds around winter time, I wonder if this technology might be useful to us. It's definitely something to keep in mind._

_Since you will undoubtedly wonder, as you repeatedly ask in your telegrams, I will address this first; Alternis is doing well. He eats well. He may be quite the darling to you and Father, but he and I differ on many subjects. Sometimes, it is interesting to hear them but mostly I fear he speaks out of turn. It's rather cumbersome whenever he disagrees with me on any subject, and this happens more often than not. I confess, it's hard to stand him sometimes! Rest assured however, I am grateful he is around. I would rather you not tell him that; I don't need his ego swelling up like a fat balloon._

_The last time you wrote to me, you mentioned marriage. I cannot in good conscience lie to you about how much I think this necessary because the truth is, I do not think it is. Furthermore, I have nobody in my mind who would be a suitable candidate. The only noble in Ancheim is Dominus Harena and though he is an extraordinarily capable man, he is closer to Father's age than my own. I shall be heading to Florem next, and you and I both know I shall not be finding a suitor there amidst a population of mostly girls and tourists who are gawking men. _

_You mentioned I had a political opponent who was threatening to usurp the Lee's claim to rule. Who is this person? Is it perhaps strange to think I would be wholly interested in getting to know them?_

_I do so hope you receive this letter quickly, and find time to respond. I miss hearing from both you and Father and I eagerly await any news coming from home._

_Edea Lee_

* * *

"I'm not going to ask you again," I said in a sugar-coated voice. "Sit down."

"I don't want to."

"Oh for Crystal's sake, Alternis, I don't have time for this," I said, exasperated. I popped a hard candy into my mouth, welcoming the fresh breeze that wafted through the window. We were in my private chambers that Dominus Harena had assigned to me. It was one day since Alternis had, albeit reluctantly, agreed to my proposition of having him play the part of Ringabel.

Alternis was staring at himself in the mirror, as though he would never see his face again. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, sucking harder on the caramel flavored candy. And I thought women were vain. "I just don't think this is a good idea."

"You said it would have been helpful if we had Ringabel with us right before I decided to use you as Ringabel. Why are you so against it now? It's not like you and Ringabel are different people." Which was actually a lie, because in their personalities they _were_. "All you have to do is act like him."

"Which is what? A buffoon?" I saw through the mirror his brow creasing. "A womanizer?" He looked so worried at the prospect that I almost burst out laughing, although I _did_ feel somewhat sorry.

I walked up to him from behind and reached my hands up to place them on his shoulders gently. Despite my gentle touch, he stiffened, as if he were on high alert. Jeez, the guy really needed to catch a break. Gently, I guided him over to the seat in front of the mirror. To my amazement, he obeyed and sat down. I leaned down so that my face was right next to his, and stared at him through the mirror. His dark gray eyes looked even more tense. "Look," I spoke soothingly. "You don't have to do this. It is unfair if I force you to do anything, but the fact of the matter is that when we traveled, Ringabel and I explored the cities we visited a lot more than Tiz or Agnès did. Agnès was always praying or reading about different regions, and Tiz was more concerned about the mission at hand and preparing for them."

I took a deep breath, and quelled the memories that suddenly sprang up of all the times Ringabel and I had explored every kingdom as much as we possibly could, and bought as many souvenirs as our leftover pg could buy. I didn't need them right now. "Now that I'm openly for Eternia, a lot of the locals wont really trust me anymore unless I have help. I'm already getting some from Agnès on that, now that she's onboard with the plan, but I really need Ringabel."

He stared at me through the mirror, his expression hard to decipher. "I don't see why you think you _need_ him, Edea. You've been doing fine on your own." Ha! I highly doubted that. I was about to tell him so when he added, "And..." his voice drifted off, as if he just realized what he'd been about to say and didn't want to continue it in front of me. I saw his eyes turn steely. "Nevermind. You are right. It's for a good cause."

I wanted to ask him what he was going to say, but I saw the iron defense in his eyes, and I knew he wouldn't spill. I nearly sighed in frustration, but instead I smiled brightly. "Thanks for seeing it my way, Alternis."

He only commented, "Your hands are still on my shoulders."

I let go of them as if I'd been shocked. "S-sorry." My cheeks burned, and not for the first time did I hate being so pale. Everybody in Ancheim had darker, tanned skin, so it was harder for blushing to show up on them, I realized. Luckily, when I peeked at Alternis in the mirror, he wasn't looking at me. He was looking down, his eyelids blocking me from reading his expression. Suddenly, I was unsure. Was this really the best idea? I scowled. _Get a grip on yourself, Edea!_ I mentally slapped myself, and reached for a styling comb. He'd said yes, hadn't he?

I wasn't a total expert on hair, but if I could (nearly) tame my own, then I was sure Alternis's wouldn't be too hard to style. I remembered when I was twelve, how it had taken me months to finally find a process to smooth my hair down and back into a half-pony. And still, I had hair sticking out at an awkward angle. I never did manage to tame it, but most of it was enough for me.

I began to brush Alternis's hair. It was long and silky. I'd be lying if I said I didn't run my fingers through it on purpose a few times. My fingers moved easily through his hair; it was almost like touching cool water. It felt...

Good. And for some strange reason, I felt strangely content taking care of Alternis in some way. It was like we were in our own little world, and everything around us ceased to exist. All that I was doing was concentrating on was him. The quiet sound of my comb pulling through his hair was very soothing.

Once I completely combed his hair out, I sprayed his hair with an anti-frizz that worked wonders on my own and then began to work the pomade into his hair. I ran my fingers deep into his hair, massaging his scalp. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him slowly close his eyes. His long, dark blond eyelashes created a striking contrast to his pale skin. A soft sigh of relaxation escaped his lips, so soft, I wondered if I imagined it coming out. I wanted to tease him, to ask him if it really felt that good, but I also didn't want to break this comfortable silence we had going on. Who would have thought that I, Edea Lee, would grow to _like_ silence? I was usually all about talking, and action and doing things.

I could appreciate this sometimes though. I smoothed the sections of hair back, and sectioned them off so that he had a windblown appearance. I couldn't get the style as perfect as Ringabel's because he never sketched himself in his own journal, and in my memories, the finer details were beginning to vanish. It bothered me a little that I couldn't remember everything about him, but not enough that I thought about it too deeply.

With his sides smoothed out and spiked off towards the back, I began to focus on the main thing; his abnormally large coif. I'd need a lot of pomade for this. I dipped my fingers into the jar and rubbed a liberal amount all over his hair, working at the elaborate coif, smoothing, pulling, and shaping it. It took about a half hour on that alone, and when I was finally satisfied with it, I looked up into the mirror and saw that Alternis's eyes were still closed.

I watched him for a moment, transfixed on his face. It was one of the rarer times, I could look as long as I wanted without having to worry about him noticing my watching. For some reason, he almost _always_ noticed when I was looking at him.

"Uh, well, you can look now," I said reluctantly, finally breaking the silence. He didn't respond. "A-Alternis?"

His head drooped forward slightly, and I realized he'd fallen asleep. I couldn't believe it! Alternis, who was always so proper and had a strict regimen, was asleep? I couldn't help the smile that overcame my face. He looked so...

Relaxed.

I quickly walked towards the bathroom, and washed my hands, toweling them dry.

Then, I walked back to Alternis and placed two fingers under his chin, and gently pushed his head up so that he was facing me. He mumbled something incoherent, his expression suddenly going from relaxed to controlled, but he didn't wake up. Like this, with him asleep, I could almost picture him as Ringabel. He was even mumbling in his sleep, which I'd often caught Ringabel doing.

I leaned closer to catch what he was saying, my heart unexpectedly racing. I didn't want Alternis catching me eavesdropping on his conversation, even though I mostly knew that what he would say would be harmless. After all, Ringabel had mostly talked in his sleep about fighting styles.

"...foolish..." he mumbled. "...such a fool."

I frowned, and leaned closer, noticing his face going deadly still and tight. For one heart-stopping second, I thought this harsh change in his expression was because he'd noticed my presence. I was about to back away when he said, "I will kill her." His voice was no longer mumbling, but it was quiet and eerily calm.

I recoiled in shock from the tone of his voice, my fingers dropping from his chin. His head jerked downwards suddenly, and he awakened with a start. His eyes lifted up to mine, first empty and cold, then disoriented, before finally noticing he was even looking at me.

The last time I'd seen such an empty and cold expression was when Father had first brought Alternis in as a child. He'd been scrawny back then, resembling more a skeleton than a human being, but his eyes were so unbearably cold and lonely, that my first thought was whether or not he could even come back to being human. Of course, he had with the amount of love Father had showered upon him as well as the attention my annoying child self had lavished upon him. But I didn't think I'd ever see such an expression on his face ever again...

"Is there something wrong?" Alternis asked, watching me. He looked concerned.

_Crap!_ Hastily, I rearranged my expression to something that didn't make me look as uneasy. "You uh, you fell asleep when I finished so..."

He flushed darkly and frowned. "That never usually happens. I apologize for that."

"No!" I nearly shouted. _Who was he going to kill?_ "It... uh, it wasn't a problem. I just thought maybe you passed out... but I heard you mumbling so I figured you probably fell... asleep. Um, Ringabel did that too. Talk in his sleep, I mean. So I figured that's what happened to you." I was babbling right now, but I couldn't think straight. All I could think about was his eerily calm voice.

"I talked in my sleep?" Alternis asked, his face going even redder as an expression of alarm passed over his face now.

I debated on telling him what I heard but the thought of his voice sent goosebumps up my neck. If it had been an enemy of ours, Alternis would've told me a long time ago about a woman he wanted to kill. A woman no less! That was even stranger. Clearly, he didn't want me knowing who this woman was, so it would have to be somebody that I didn't consider a threat.

...Who could it be?

My lips tightened, and I forced myself to smile. "Yeah, but I didn't catch it. Must've been a good dream to make you talk though."

Alternis's eyes slid off mine, as if he was in deep thought. I watched him closely. "It was... nothing."

* * *

Later, when Alternis left, I tried to mull over what he'd said.

_It was... nothing_.

But the way he had said it made it sound like it was anything _but_ nothing.

Something about being foolish or a fool. Had he been duped? Was that why he wished to kill this woman? Somehow, that seemed like overkill, even for Alternis who could be scary. Then again, I'd been fooled by a seemingly harmless cryst-fairy and I ended up killing her.

I let out a frustrated sigh. I felt like the answer was right in front of me, but I just couldn't grasp it.

Whatever he'd been dreaming about, he was still obviously thinking about it. Even after I showed him how he looked like with Ringabel's hairdo, he'd seemed totally distracted, to the point where he didn't even react at his own reflection, much to my disappointment. Before I'd eavesdropped on him, I confess, I'd been looking forward to seeing his opinion.

The door to my chambers knocked. "Come in," I said, not bothering to figure out who it was.

Agnès pushed the door open and I got up. She glided in, her brown hair floating behind her.

"Well?" I demanded.

"Dominus Harena said the announcement should take place tomorrow. He's already elected three representatives."

My heart lifted. Things were finally going on board. I breathed a sigh of relief. Well, at least there was good news in _one_ place. "I'm just glad he was on board about the idea."

Agnès nodded. "But just because he did, does not mean everybody else will, Edea. Ancheim is but one city. Who knows if even your father will agree?"

I was wondering the same thing too. I gave her a tired grin. "For now, let's just focus on the positives. Do you think Tiz would approve?"

Agnès shrugged. "I do not know," she responded, her voice suddenly brittle.

Whoops, wrong thing to say.

I turned to face her and said with as much conviction in my voice as I could, "I don't know why Tiz isn't responding to you, but I intend to find out."

"It is clear he has forgotten about me," she said. "But it is no matter, as I am busy as well." She still sounded icy. She gave me a sad, barely-there smile. "I find that once you move away from a person, the bonds between you are weaker. Perhaps it is the case with Tiz. In any case, I do not blame him. It's not like I was the easiest person to get along with."

I let out a short laugh. "It's been my experience that every person you spend a long time with is usually hard to get along with in the beginning." With the exception of Tiz and Mother, all of my friendships had started off or had gradually turned rocky. Alternis, Father, Ringabel, even Agnès... "In any case, I don't think he's forgotten about you." I thought about our trip and all the times Tiz had seemed to pay extra attention to Agnès, and how every time they touched, he would blush. He'd always seemed extra humbled when Agnès asked his opinion. I bit my lip. I admit it was strange that Tiz wasn't responding, but I knew that by the time I reached Caldisla, I'd have my answer.

* * *

_My Dearest Edea,_

_You cannot imagine the joy that came over me once receiving your letter. Nothing makes me feel more at ease when I hear news of you. I rarely see you anymore, with you solving all of Luxendarc's problems! I know you have not mentioned it in your letter because you do not wish to trouble me, but I know that what you are going through right now cannot be easy. I know because I faced saving Eternia from destruction with your father and that itself was very hard. But with your father's unshakable resolve, you can get through this as long as you are smart, and you listen with an open mind. You may find many different people on your journey, Edea. Not all of them will agree with you and not everybody will like you. But what you can do is be the person that you and your loved ones would be proud of. And, in the heart of each and every person, they all want to be heard. So, my advice is to make sure you listen and understand them to the best of your ability._

_My health is a boring topic. The status of it is unchanged, and the doctors and nurses continue to be quite kind. As of course, I am sure they must be, considering my status. Sometimes, I wish I didn't have to be considered so important as to get special treatment. There are many other people out there more deserving of the doctor's attentions than I. For example, ever since you told me the reason the spellfencer, Ciggma Khint constantly demanded payment in order to pay for that young girl's hospital bills, I have realized she is in more need of attention than I. Now that Khint is dead, I've been paying her bills off. I've learned a few things about her; her name is Tatiana and her parents have long been deceased. Ciggma Khint was her guardian, she told me, though she doesn't remember much of him. I expect he left to become a sellsword to sustain her bills. _

_Tatiana, or as I like to call her, Tatya, is a darling. She's very sweet, docile and charming but she has a little bursts of spirit that reminds me of you in a way. She keeps me company in hospital when your father isn't around._

_Several things I would like to mention; though I understand you feel hesitant about marriage, I suppose I wasn't being clear. It is absolutely imperative for you to find somebody you can spend your life with. Eternia may be more advanced than other nations, but one of its rules is this; a woman cannot rule unless she is married. It is rather different for a man. Perhaps, once you assume leadership you might do something to change this, but for now your father and I agree that this is best and to change this law, it would take many years, years that your father and I do not have._

_Additionally, about Eternia's next candidate... that's just the thing; nobody knows his true identity. He popped up unexpectedly as an anonymous author going simply by the name of "Blood of the People." People call him Krov, but essentially only a few of his most trusted allies have ever actually seen his face. He is described as an attractive middle-aged man who is only concerned for the people's wellbeing. He frequently publishes in widely circulated papers such as _The Eternian Times_ and _The Mountain Press_ and he does not sugarcoat any of it when it comes to criticizing your father and the way he is currently running the country._

_I'm delighted that Alternis is doing well. I miss him unbearably so. The darling always used to keep me company and talk about you often. I suspect he knew that I worried over you, but even otherwise he still cares for you very much. Every day, I am grateful for Braev's choice to bring him home to us. That man is kind, thoughtful, and understands the value of hard work. He is like a child I never had... aside from you of course. Ah, just thinking of him makes me miss him! You simply must keep me updated on him. After all, he often does not spend a lot of time taking care of himself because he focuses on caring for those around him!_

_I look forward to hearing from you soon,_

_Mahzer Lee_

* * *

I took a deep breath. "This is... quite a crowd," I murmured to Agnès. As usual, sweat was dripping down my back, and I'd already wiped at my upper lip several times already, despite the fact that evening was beginning to set up. The sky was settling into a dusky gold, and the temperature was starting to cool down slightly. I surveyed the entrance to the palace. It seemed like _every_ body had gathered to hear what Dominus Harena had to say. I was surprised, but I knew I shouldn't have been. The short few weeks I had spent here, I observed that the people really trusted Dominus Harena as a capable leader.

Such unwavering trust... I had to respect and admire it. I looked at the man in question who was seated next to Agnès. He looked relaxed and confident. It made me envious how the crowd didn't seem to intimidate him at all.

Noticing that I was watching him, he turned to face me and gave me a reassuring smile. On my other side Alternis was far more tense than I was. A muscle in his jaw showing prominently against his otherwise smooth skin. Alternis had never been good with crowds, so it was understandable that he was nervous.

I wanted to reassure him that everything would be fine, but somehow the words were sticking in my throat. Being around him made me nervous now, and it was hard to even look at him.

The massive clock began to chime, signifying that seven o'clock had arrived. A hush fell over the crowd, and they quickly ceased their chatter, turning their faces towards the steps of the Palace. I swallowed. Here went nothing.

A man approached the podium and tapped at the mic that had been set up. Then he began to speak. "Good people of Anchiem, you have been waiting for a long time to hear from our beloved leader responsible for having our voices heard. Wait no further, Prime Minister Dominus Harena, will speak of the latest developments."

The man bowed to Dominus who had risen and unhurriedly took to the podium. An even greater silence filled the crowd. I understood awhile later. Dominus Harena spoke quietly, but his words left a huge impact.

"People of Anchiem, today, I've gathered you here to talk about a proposal that I hope you can hear with an open mind. I have always considered each and every one of you my trusted subjects and so I ask you to listen to what has been going on for the past few days.

"An ambassador from Eternia," and here I wriggled slightly in my seat. He was obviously talking about _me_. "Has come to try and make amends for what they have done in the past. As you may be well aware, roughly almost a year ago, Eternia had employed their massive fire power to capture and possibly _kill_ our beloved Wind Vestal, Agnès Oblige at any cost."

Several boos could be heard from the crowd. I shrank even further in my seat, my face burning up. Next to me, Alternis tensed as well, but because he was well composed most of the time, nobody but I could tell. I could tell he was upset, and who would blame him? I too felt horrible and sick and uneasy, despite the fact that I'd made the very same opinion of Eternia when I chose to betray them.

Harena continued, "As I understand it, there was a major misunderstanding."

"That doesn't excuse them! The Wind Vestal is precious to us!" somebody shouted from the crowd.

Beside me, I felt Agnès squirm; I knew that sometimes she felt even weirder about having the public eye on her.

"I understand you all are protective over our Wind Vestal, but I must bring attention to the fact that the ambassador from Eternia is none other than Edea Lee."

I felt my face burn, as there was more puzzled mutterings.

"Edea Lee, as in Braev Lee's daughter?"

"Even more suspicious."

"Her first name sounds familiar... I have heard her name spoken fondly from the Wind Vestal's lips."

I was warmed by that last comment. It was good knowing that some people in Ancheim knew that I was a dear friend of Agnès's.

"Edea is responsible for Agnès's safety. In fact, she went so far as to betray her own country to protect the Wind Vestal. She is partially responsible for her life."

I felt strangely embarrassed hearing his words. When he put it that way, it sounded noble. But throughout my journey, there had been many times where I wasn't thinking about anybody's life but my own. I'd been clinging to my own identity so tightly, that sometimes it had been hard to see the true purpose of the mission.

"Well, if she's responsible for Agnès's safety, then she shouldn't be siding with Eternia after all this!" a man shouted from the crowd, pointing at me accusingly. "Just because she saved the Wind Vestal once doesn't mean she is a friend of Ancheim's! I'll believe it when I see more effort coming from her."

"I was just getting to that, Farooq," Dominus Harena said patiently. I was surprised at that. It was really something that Harena knew the names of a few of his people and even brought their names in a conversation that was shared by hundreds of thousands of people. "Edea Lee, Agnès Oblige, and I have been working on a resolution of peace between Eternia and Ancheim. However, her interest is not in just our kingdom. She would love for all nations to come together and live in peace. Not only has she drawn a treaty that should cement the deal, but she has also proposed an interesting theory that I would like for you all to vote upon."

There was murmured buzzing here.

"So I would ask for you all to please be polite and listen to what Lady Lee has to say."

_Lady Lee_. He hadn't called me princess. I swallowed, and gave him a weak smile that he returned kindly. I rose, my knees shaking, and nearly stumbled. Here it was, the time had come. Everything I'd been working for lead to this.

"Salaayma, my fellow people," I said, stumbling over the foreign word. There were titters from the crowd that left my throat even drier than before. I hadn't bothered to drink any water beforehand, anticipating that I'd probably have to use the bathroom thanks to my anxiety, but now I wish I had. "I say fellow because I believe that we must stop viewing each other with distrust. I know what you must all be thinking," I said, my voice cracking slightly. I tried to fix my eyes on any friends I found, but all of them were on stage. In the end, I focused on one of the children standing in the front. There didn't seem to be any parents around the child. I couldn't tell if the child was a boy or a girl, but they looked absolutely ragged. He or she must be an orphan, I thought.

This strangely calmed me, though I wasn't sure why. In a way, I'd been raised without my parents as well. My father had always been busy, and my mother was often in the hospital. I focused on them. "I know what you're thinking. Since we were your attackers, how can you possibly trust us? And you would be right. What I'm asking of you is enormous, and I don't know how else I can repair the damages in our bond. In my treaty, I have proposed the following that I hope you may find suitable.

"In addition to paying for repairing for our damages with no interest at all, I have also proposed that an Eternian post be stationed in Ancheim, as well as an Ancheimian post in Eternia for the purposes of getting to know our countries better. I have always thought that Eternia was closed off to the world, and that we could not share what we have learned. In some ways, the reason this mess started in the first place was due to a series of serious miscommunications. I propose then that these posts work to breaking such barriers. I have also proposed that we share some technology between us. Ancheim is known as an industrial country, and I have always admired your work ethic and your ability to utilize energy from better resources than ours. Additionally, I believe that sharing our airships could benefit you all and I'm willing to part with the knowledge.

"Additionally," I said, and took a deep breath. I knew Alternis was not going to be happy about this last bit of the treaty, but I wasn't backing down on it. This would be the first he'd hear about it, so I knew he would be pretty pissed at me afterward. "I understand that one of the main differences between our nation and yours is that you are strongly Crystalist in your beliefs and we are Anti-Crystalist. Yet, I have always believed that despite our differences, we can get along. As an aggressive Anti-Crystalist, one of my dearest friends is Agnès Oblige, the sole surviving vestal in Luxendarc. I believe our friendship reflects a lot on human nature. Therefore, I will be accompanying the Wind Vestal as she travels to each region to search for a new Vestal and help lay the foundations for rebuilding each temple." I paused a little here. I could feel Alternis's eyes on me curiously. I bit my lip. "That includes Eternia."

There was a collective gasp. I wanted to look at Alternis so badly, but I didn't. I couldn't. I knew that out of all the times I'd disappointed him and disagreed with him, this was the worst. He considered Crystalists our ultimate enemies, and I knew that rebuilding a place of Crystalism in his home country was a serious blow to what he believed in.

"This is talk, isn't it?" Farooq asked, jabbing his same accusatory finger at me. "It's just talk! And even if you did rebuild your Earth Temple, who is to say that you would treat the new Vestal with respect? Didn't your father kill the last one?"

I flinched at the accusations. I knew the rumor was that my father's men had killed the Vestal, when in actuality it had been self-defense. But I knew he wouldn't believe me if I denied his accusations.

I was surprised when Agnès took the mic and responded calmly into it, "The rumor that the Grand Marshal killed the last Earth Vestal is entirely false. The truth of the matter is that you have been blessed with only knowing Crystalism in its purest state. The Earth Temple was corrupt and cared only for its own preservation at the cost of many lives. In the end, that is what killed the Vestal. As for whether or not _you_ believe Edea, that she will never be able to convince you. However, I for one believe that she will work as best she can to hold to her ideals."

There were murmurs there. The fact that Agnès had vouched for me, as I predicted, was working wonders on the crowd. In a sense, it bothered me a little that they were like sheep following their shepherd, but I chalked it up to jealousy. Eternia's people never blindly followed anything. I knew that this announcement would not sit well with my own people. Luckily, I wouldn't have to deal with Eternia until I got back.

Silently, I thanked Agnès, squeezing her shoulder gratefully before returning to the mic. "Lastly, I know that some of you still wont be swayed. That's why I have proposed to build a new committee." This was it, my plan that would hopefully spread the power amongst us.

"It will be a committee representing our nations united in Luxendarc. Ancheim, Florem, Caldisla, Eisenberg, and Eternia will each get three representatives picked every four years democratically to live apart from their nations, in the middle of the ocean. Each representative will be paid handsomely from their respective governments and will be able to bring their families with them so long as every time a crisis hits any one of our nations they decide what to do about it from a united front. For example, months ago, Norende was desecrated by the Great Chasm and Caldisla alone cannot rebuild the village. The United Nations of Luxendarc, should therefore then decide whether or not they should rebuild the village, and how much they are willing to spend to rebuild it. This should also make it harder on any other nations who wish to wage war for any reason." _Like Eternia_.

There was silence, as the crowd tried to process what I'd just said. Then, there was an outbreak of many different opinions. Suddenly, people were shouting questions at me and I couldn't tell if I'd said something to appease or anger them. Forgetting about my anxiety towards Alternis, I turned towards him now, and was startled to see he wasn't looking at me. Instead, his face was still carefully neutral. _Argh... What is he thinking?_ I thought to myself. Though he looked exactly like Ringabel with his hairstyle, his face was uncharacteristically closed off.

The need for him to reassure me was too great but I knew I wouldn't get it from him now now. Sadly, I turned away and said, "If you need more information, you can always approach Dominus and I..." But my words were drowned out by the din of the crowd. Their buzzing was louder than I could bear.

I could only hope I'd made the right choice.

* * *

**This ends this chapter! Any reviews, favs, and follows are, as always appreciated.**

**I've been a bit busy preparing for school which is starting next week, so I do apologize if this came a little late. I'm usually about two chapters ahead by the time I post a new one publicly, but this time around I've just been busy with work and preparing for school to come up again. ;_; I'm so sorry.**

**Thank you so much for nearly getting this story to 30 reviews and roughly 2.6K hits! To think this story has come this far... Phew. I just hope I can see it to the end!**

**United Nations of Luxendarc... doesn't that sound very familiar? ;) And who could Alternis possibly be talking about in his sleep? I expect the answer should come in a few chapters. One thing we can all count on from Edea, is that she'll be sure to get to the bottom of this, despite her very busy schedule!**


	9. Apologies

We are lying down on the outskirts of Florem and the sun is making me sleepy. The grass tickles my cheek when I turn to the side to view Ringabel.

He's already looking at me and there's such warmth in his eyes, I want to fall into them, the way a person would a warm embrace. My ear that is pressing to the grass can hear the thrumming heartbeat of the earth and it calms me.

"Don't fall asleep on me, my angel," Ringabel says. He reaches out and slips a hand through my hair, smoothing it back, prompting me to lean into his touch.

"I wish it could be like this always," I hear myself say. I feel light and happy. "I wish..."

He leans closer, his face pink, until his smell surrounds me and I breathe it in deeply. It's heady, and thick and it clouds my mind. "Mmm... tell me what you wish." I can feel his breath on my lips. I want him so badly.

"_I wish you would kill her_," I say, my words suddenly blank and unforgiving. I've heard that voice before. Horrified, I try to speak again, but I can't. I try to back away, but suddenly Ringabel has a death grip on my hair and he's not letting go. I'm trying to scream out, "Ringabel!" but the words won't come out, they won't... Pulse racing, I watch as Ringabel's face goes slack, and his pupils begin to dilate past his irises, growing outside the white until his eyes are completely black.

"As you command, Lady," he says, only now he sounds like Alternis's. He leans forward and he presses his lips against mine, but they are cold and frozen. When he draws away I notice the rest of his body is Airy's insect-like body, her final ultimate form. I'm struggling with all my might but she reaches a claw-like hand and plunges into my chest and I can feel her claws strangling my heart which beats even faster, as if it's trying to get a lifetime of heartbeats out before it's crushed.

"_Sometimes, I wondered if you were just that easy to manipulate or if you and I had the same goals._" I feel one claw pierce into my heart and I cry out because it hurts. I want it to end, the pain, the guilt, the heartbreak._  
_

"I'm... nothing like you," I say through gritted teeth. I've got a hand on her wrist that's inside me, but I'm weak.

"_Is that so?_" she says in Alternis's voice. "_What you want the most is rebirth. Rebirth of a new, better order. But in order for that to happen what do you need first, Edea? Destruction. And I provided plenty of that. You owe me._" The claw is deeply embedded within my heart. I can _feel_ it. But I'm not sure why I'm still alive. I should be dead. I'm already dead. I stop struggling. "_Time to finish off your wish then... Time to kill._" With a sudden burst of strength, she pierces through my heart and the shock makes me finally wake up.

* * *

Agnès was sitting on me when I woke up, shaking my shoulders violently. "Edea, wake up! It's just a dream! It's just a dream!" she kept repeating over and over. My eyes shot open and I gulped in lungfuls of air. I focused on the darkness around me, trying to remember where I was. It was night, and I was in Ancheim. She stopped shaking my shoulders, and instead placed the back of her hand on my forehead. Her hand felt cool against my skin.

"You are going to be okay," she whispered soothingly, pushing my sweat-soaked hair away from my face.

"Edea, look at me," a male voice commanded and I flinched, when my eyes found the source. It was Alternis. I couldn't make out his expression, but his voice sounded quiet and calming.

It was absolutely horrifying.

I swallowed. "Please tell him to leave," I whispered to Agnès, pulling my blanket up to my nose and breathing in it's cotton scent.

"What's she saying?" Alternis demanded, and I shut my eyes, willing his voice to go away. I had never been so afraid. The dream was even more real with his voice present.

"She wants you to leave," I heard Agnès say quietly. "Please... I apologize, but it seems as if she's..."

"She needs me," Alternis responded, and I could hear a strand of annoyance creep into his voice. He touched my shoulder and although my nightgown's material separated his skin from mine, I still felt the warmth.

I flinched. "Alternis, _please_... I can't see you right now," I whimpered.

He let go of me, perhaps in shock. I didn't know. Vaguely, I knew I'd regret this in the morning. I loathed showing weakness and here I was trembling like a nearly dead leaf against the winter winds. I heard his quiet footsteps and the door shut.

I let out a huge sigh of relief. Agnés cast fire, and lit a candle so she could see my face properly. "Another nightmare?"

I nodded. "They're getting worse, Agnès. I... I don't know why."

She rubbed my upper arms, and I began to calm down. "Perhaps, when we set out for Florem, we should stop by Sage Yulyana's house first. Perhaps he knows something," Agnès suggested.

"Yes, perhaps," I responded, thinking back to the dream, to Airy's satanic eyes and Alternis's voice. I doubted Yulyana would help that much. As far as I knew, these dreams couldn't be prophetic. I wasn't some mystic or some person that spirits would visit or warn.

Deep inside, I knew that these nightmares were really _me._ And I wasn't sure how to fix that. How did you fix something that came from within you? I suppose if I made peace with the things that were bothering me...

But Ringabel was gone and Airy was dead.

Alternis wasn't though. I covered my face with my hands, wracking my brains over and over. In the dream, the order was that he wanted me killed but it seemed implausible.

I know I drove Alternis up the wall more than any other person he'd probably ever encountered, but I couldn't imagine him going after me.

_The best thing to do would be to confront him,_ a voice inside my head said. It seemed logical, and I had no reason to fear Alternis. How could I? He was literally my family.

But at the same time, I was having trouble trusting him at all especially about what he'd said in his dreams. I shuddered. What if it really was me? Alternis had, after all, almost killed me many times when I'd been helping resurrecting the crystals. If it weren't for us four ganging up on him, we could very well end up dead.

_But you didn't die! He sought to convince you before fighting you. Not to mention, he was on your father's orders... _I argued against myself.

I sighed. It was like an endless cycle in which I was arguing against myself. I smiled weakly at Agnès. "It's okay. You can go back to bed now. I'm fine."

She bit her lip. "I do not think you are. Perhaps it is best if I stay."

"I don't want to inconvenience you," I responded. The truth was, I was still scared, but I wasn't going to let her know that.

Evidently she saw right through me. "I would be very ashamed of myself if I let you go in such a state." Already she was starting to make herself at home on my queen-sized bed. She slipped under the covers and closed her eyes, immune to my protests. "Good night, Edea."

Slowly, I slipped under the covers too. "Good night," I said after a moment.

* * *

Despite what happened last night, I slept admirably well. When I opened my eyes, Agnès was already gone. The clock in the inn room told me it was fifteen minutes past eight. I jumped out of bed, splashed some cold water on my face, and got myself ready. When I emerged a servant was waiting. "Lady Edea, Prime Minister Harena requires you at the dining hall. He would like for you to visit the representatives of Ancheim."

"Oh, that's good," I said. "Who else will be there?"

"The Wind Vestal, I believe is already there, as well as your right hand man, Mr. Dim."

I froze. "Mr. Dim?" _Well, of course he would be there. Wherever you're expected he will be there._ It would be fine, I imagined. Alternis was pretty good at being quiet and not drawing attention to himself. All I had to do was concentrate on meeting the new representatives.

After the announcement, Alternis and I had barely been alone. I'd been busy with Dominus Harena and Agnès for most of the weeks following the announcement. From then on, people were casting votes if they really wanted the United Nations of Luxendarc or not. Those in favor were winning, but just barely. By the end of today, we would know for sure, but Dominus Harena was sure that the vote would be in favor in the end.

And now it was time to formally meet the representatives Harena had chosen. I reached the door to the dining hall, took a deep, calming breath and opened the door. I trusted Dominus's decisions. I knew that whomever he picked would be the perfect choice.

I froze upon entering. The woman from the tea shop that I'd nearly killed was practically _sitting_ in Alternis's lap feeding him a date.

_A date_.

And what was stranger was that Alternis was _allowing _it. Not only was he allowing it, he looked like he was enjoying it. He was leaning slightly away from the woman as if to draw her further into his lap. _  
_

I felt the rage surfacing, taking a strangle-hold on any logical thought I'd once possessed. I couldn't decide who I was more annoyed at, Alternis for once again being cow-eyed when it came to that woman, or the woman herself. Had she no shame? Had she no semblance of self-respect, flirting so openly in public?

"Oh look, Edea's here!" Agnès exclaimed in a loud voice, snapping me out of the anger. She glared at me as if she had just read my mind. "Now we can begin."

For the first time, I noticed two other people in the room, a woman and a man. The man I realized was Farooq, the man in the crowd who was distrustful. He looked disgruntled to be here. The other woman was elderly, with wrinkles deeply etched into her weathered face. Her face cracked into a smile upon seeing me. "Such a pretty one, she is."

"Sorry I'm late," I muttered, embarrassed at all their eyes on me. I avoided looking at Alternis and the woman. I couldn't risk getting angry and causing a scene here. Instead, I took a seat as far away as possible from them. I wasn't sure what was going on over there, and I knew it wasn't my highest priority right now, though it was hard _not_ to think about them.

"I trust you slept well?" Dominus asked.

"Relatively," I responded weakly. I felt Alternis's eyes on me, but after the events of last night and what I was seeing of him now, I refused to look at him. "I trust these two are your representatives? Who is the third?"

"Yes, you may recall Farooq Al-Bashar when we first made the announcement."

I glanced at his disagreeable face. "Sure," I responded coolly, looking him square in the face.

Farooq scowled. "Do not think your Eternian whims will fly with me, woman. I will look through every single one of those frozen faces."

Dominus smiled at me slightly. "Farooq is perhaps our government's greatest critic. I have chosen him as a representative for this reason alone. I trust you may see why."

I did. Though Farooq might be a pain to deal with, I knew the necessity of having somebody constantly keeping the other two in check.

"This charming woman here is Aziza bint-Haroon. She's very well known in the kingdom for her benevolence and wisdom. She has outlived the three past rulers of Ancheim."

Her smile was genuine. I couldn't help but smile back at her.

"As for the third representative-"

"I believe we've already met," purred the woman who was now sitting in her own seat, but had both arms wound around Alternis's bicep. "My name is Durrah."

I glared at her. "_You're_ the third representative?"

Her lipstick was wine colored, and it contrasted against her tanned skin. She smiled at me. "Does that startle you?"

I turned to Dominus Harena. "Why would you pick this woman?" I asked through clenched teeth. I couldn't believe this! The universe was definitely conspiring against me.

"Durrah remains one of our most skilled Spellfencers. As a matter of fact, she was Ciggma Khint's protégé and is well known as the best spellfencer currently."

My jaw almost dropped. I couldn't believe it. _She_ was a spellfencer? "I don't buy it."

"Just because you caught me off guard back at the tea shop as well as unarmed, does not mean anything, little Eternian girl," she snarled at me. "I could slash you to ribbons now." She brandished her sword.

"Now, now, there is no need to argue, dove," Alternis told her, giving her a loving look.

I nearly choked at his tone. "Who _are_ you even?" I spat at him.

To my immense surprise, he looked almost comically hurt. "There is no need to be quite so vicious, Angel. You know beautiful women have always been my weakness."

It hit me then.

Crystals, how could I be so stupid? He was playing _Ringabel_. I gaped at him. I'd nearly forgotten that I'd told him to act like his other version.

I felt like a fool, forgetting. The worst part was, I wanted so badly to be angry at him, but the real person I was angry at was me for acting so rashly.

I sighed. I didn't want to do what I was about to do next, but there was no other choice. "My apologies... Durrah. I did not mean to be so abrasive. I'm sure you are a highly esteemed member of Ancheim, and as such, I formally welcome you as part of the United Nations of Luxendarc."

Durrah looked surprised, even impressed for a split second. But then she sniffed, and responded icily, "I accept your apology."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at her. _This mission at hand of uniting everybody is far more important than the fact that she's still an extremely unlikeable woman_.

I began to eat the food in front of me and discovered that the eggs, sausages, and practically everything on my plate was spicy. Though I appreciated spiciness, I longed for something sweet, anything comforting.

As the meeting wore on, I stole a few glances at Alternis, studying the way his eyes showed rapt attention towards whoever was speaking. I thought back to all the times we had argued, and lastly to that quiet time when I'd made up his hair. It seemed like ever since I'd gone off with Ringabel, Tiz and Agnès, nothing was the same between us. At first it was just us bickering, but now...

Nothing.

My heart twisted at that. We were drifting apart and I wanted to salvage us. _Us_. The word meant we shared some sort of link, but every day I made a choice that I was sure was good for bridging the gap between Eternia and the rest of Luxendarc, was also a step away from Alternis and however he felt towards me. What wouldn't I give to a time before all this happened, when it was just me practicing my sword fighting with Master Kamiizumi.

I wondered briefly what my master would have to say to all this if I asked for him for advice. I wanted to hear his deep, calming, yet authoritative voice. He'd been more of a father than my own ever was to me. I couldn't even imagine asking Father for advice. And I knew Mother would only urge me to patch things up with Alternis. I felt a stab of jealousy when I thought about her previous letter stating that Alternis was like the child she'd never had. What then did that make me?

"Edea, are you alright with leaving in three days then?" Agnès asked, gently easing me out of my thoughts.

"Oh... y-yes," I responded. I took a sip of coffee and grimaced at the bitterness of it. I began to add sugar cubes to my coffee, one after the other.

Durrah stared. "Haven't you ever heard of diabetes?"

"If it'll get me off this planet, and away from you quicker, than I don't mind succumbing to it!" I retorted. I stirred my coffee and gently clinked the excess liquid against the lip of the cup before taking a sip. It was deliciously sweet. I sighed in relief, not even minding Durrah calling me something I was certain was foul in her native language.

"Then we are agreed. We shall send these three off to Grandship where they will await the other representatives from the other regions while you spread the word."

I nodded once.

"You'll come with me to Grandship, won't you?" Durrah simpered, her eyes turning disgustingly soppy as she regarded Alternis. Ugh, why was I watching this?

"That would depend on my Employer, my sweet. As you know, she's not the most agreeable person..."

"Yes," I snapped. "I'm anything _but_ benevolent. Can I see you in private later, _Ringabel_? Oh, sorry, I meant that as an order considering my lack of agreeableness."

At least he had the decency to look scared. "As you wish."

Everybody else was already filing out. I stood up too, so that I could take a seat closer to Alternis. Durrah shouldered me hard on the way, smirking the whole while. Agnès squeezed my upper arm. "Don't do anything foolish."

I was about to respond that I never did, but then I realized that I'd been making some pretty bad decisions when it came to my personal life. "I'll try not to."

And then we were alone.

Which made me feel a lot more nervous than I should have felt. I stared at Alternis for a moment, but he wasn't looking back at me. Where did I even begin?

"So, you seem to be getting along splendidly with Durrah," I began cautiously, beginning with the easiest topic. Which was actually kind of sad, considering I didn't even want to talk about _that_.

He gave me a warning look. "Don't you dare start."

"Start what?" But we both knew what he was referring to.

"I don't know what you have against that woman, Edea..."

"She's rude, inconsiderate, and the way she throws herself at you is horrendously inappropriate. She could at least save it when there's no audience."

"Such as you?"

I gaped at him, trying to respond to that. "That's... I don't see why you're singling me out."

"Because you seem to be the only one who has a problem with it. So just tell me what is it that's really bothering you about her."

Saying I was extremely jealous out loud would have sounded really stupid. It also meant I would be admitting that I might have feelings for Alternis and I was _not_ about to confront that yet. Not when he made me angry more times than he made me melt.

And wanted to kill a woman. But that was irrelevant.

_Wait, did I just acknowledge that he makes me melt?_ Gross. "She's not bothering me," I mumbled, sinking into my chair, refusing to look at him.

He leaned forward, propping his elbows far into the table, and craning his face so I had no choice _but _to look at him. He looked into my eyes deeply, and then after a moment he agreed, clearly irritated. "You're right. It's me. I'm always bothering you somehow."

He was right about that, of course, even if he didn't know precisely why. I thought about the dream, the way his irises had grown until they'd become Airy's alien-like ones. I swallowed and avoided his eyes again.

"You're hiding something from me, Edea. Is this about last night? What happened?" He sounded frustrated.

I picked up a spoon and examined my reflection on its back. "Nothing. Nothing happened."

"You had another nightmare, didn't you?" Alternis pressed.

"What do you mean 'another' nightmare?" I snapped.

He looked flustered all of a sudden, but he pressed on, determined. "You scream in your sleep sometimes."

"How would you know that?" I looked at him curiously, but I felt creeped out. Had he watched me while I was asleep?

He turned red. It would have been adorable if I wasn't imagining the words "FUTURE MURDERER" stamped on his forehead. "I have asked the guard who stands post outside your room at night for reports of any unusual activity. Your father asked me to keep an eye on you after all."

It was my turn to flush. "Um... I didn't know," I said stupidly. I put the spoon down, looking into my lap and twisting my hands. I couldn't bring myself to apologize or to say thank you or that I was touched or that I found it unsettling still that he'd known about my nightmares this whole time and hadn't bothered to confront me about it.

Ultimately, it was this last bit that made me come to a realization. If I'd felt uneasy about the fact that Alternis hadn't confronted me on knowing about the nightmares, how was he to feel if he later found out that I'd overheard him sleep talking? And I also realized that I'd never know what it was about if I didn't ask him. For all I knew it could have been something about the past. I didn't doubt that Alternis had killed people before; if I was capable of it, then I was sure that he was fairly sure of it as well.

"I still prefer I have some semblance of privacy," I responded.

"Does it bother you that I'm concerned about your health?" Alternis asked, cocking an eyebrow at me.

_Yes and no_. "Yes," I said firmly, straightening my back. "I wish I'd known you'd authorized those reports about me."

He looked surprised and strangely concerned. "I... apologize. I wasn't aware that my actions made you uncomfortable. I will stop if that is what you wish."

I closed my eyes. "Thank you." I wasn't sure if that was what I wanted at this present moment, but I needed to deal with it later. For now, the need to confront him about what had happened that day in my quarters was far more urgent. "Alternis, I need to ask you something." I twisted in my chair so that now I was facing him fully. I stared into his eyes, wondering at how I should proceed, this man who I suddenly, overwhelmingly knew nothing of.

I'd been worried this whole time, but now that I was about to confront him, worry didn't begin to cover it. I was suddenly scared. This man who I thought I'd known my whole life, who I thought was safe and would never hurt me, who was boring and predictable, was suddenly mysterious and harboring a dark secret. I didn't know him at all. How could I with him staring back at me expectantly?

"That day that you... that we... that I did your hair up, and you'd fallen asleep..."

He grew very still at that. It was like he knew what was about to come next, but he didn't say anything. I took a deep breath. "You talked in your sleep."

"Did I?" he said in a nonchalant voice, but I'd noticed his hand had fisted around a butter knife and was gripping it so tightly, his knuckles had turned noticeably whiter than the rest of his skin. "What did you hear?"

I tried to be casual, but my heart was beating way too fast. This was it; if Alternis was with or against me, he was going to react in some way. If he stabbed me with that thing then I needed to be prepared. I slid my hand over a fork, swallowing. His eyes dropped to my hand momentarily, noting my action and his eyes narrowed at me.

Oh, God, Edea. This was a bad decision. A very bad decision. But I couldn't back out now. "I heard you talking about killing somebody..."

"It is no secret that I've killed before. You and I know that." His hand on the knife wasn't moving, but I saw it was still tensed up.

"This was different. It was a woman. I don't think you have a lot of women in your life that you'd like to kill."

His eyes lifted up to mine, and I was surprised at his expression. His eyes were hard. "You said you had a question." His voice was blunt.

I bit my lip, and his eyes grew colder, when they drifted down to my lips, noting every action I took. _Screw it, Edea_. "Who was it that you wanted to kill?"

He let go of the butter knife. It clattered slightly when it hit the table, making me jump and drop the fork in response. Brusquely, Alternis got up, his chair making a loud scraping noise. With a whirl of his cloak he spun around and began to head for the exit, his boots making loud noises against the floor.

I got up too, still scared, but brave enough to call out angrily, "Where do you think you're going?"

"After all this time," he said, heading for the door. "After _all _this time," he repeated.

I stumbled after him and without thinking, caught his wrist and pulled him back to me, making him stumble slightly. "Answer my question properly!"

He turned around to face me abruptly, his expression dark and furious. He backed me up against the closed door, standing so close to me, I felt the tips of his boots touching mine. I closed my eyes tightly, uncomfortable at the distance between us. When I peeked open one eye at him, he was still standing there, his face dark.

"There is only so much I can take from you, Edea." His voice was low, yet still held a trace of anger in it. "I am a warrior. I am built to carry out orders no matter how much I dislike them but there's a limit. You humiliated me that day we fought when you completely rebuffed my question of marriage, and you expected me to guard you afterward like nothing happened. You insist on becoming friends with the Crystalists, who are our enemies, and expect me to obey your blind showings of faith. You do not mind your traitorous friend that _Wind Vestal_ sharing your bed and you do not mind talking with her, but with me it is just orders that I'm expected to obey, like a slave. And then I'm supposed to act like your past _lover_ because he is no longer here. Despite that, Edea, I obeyed. Because that is what I do. But what really is humiliating is that you think I would hurt you." I looked up, because at that moment, the last question was drained of all anger, left only with sadness.

It was heartbreaking to see him like this, to see the hurt that I'd caused him. "If I were any other person, I'd want to throttle you because of the ways you humiliate me. But I'm not. And you think the person I'd want to kill is you, isn't it? You are frightened of me."

I wanted to deny it, but I realized it was true. "I..."

"After everything I've done for you." He shook his head and took a step back from me, as though sharing the same breathing space repulsed him. He looked away from me. "The Lees... They were all I've ever wanted. I've only wanted to become one of you and to earn your trust."

Seeing him stand there, admitting that, was like me seeing him when he'd been brought in as a boy thin and ragged. I felt sick to my stomach. On one hand I wanted to bite back because some of what he had said felt unfair.

But on the other hand, it raised a few questions I'd stored at the back of my head but never really brought up to consider seriously. Who was Alternis to me? I treated him like a simple guard under my command when the truth was, he was so much more. He was my...

Well, I didn't know. I didn't know! It was too strange to think about.

"Alternis..." I said, but he waved me away.

"Forget it, Edea. You don't have to explain yourself." He started towards the door, but I quickly moved to block his way. His hand touched the handle of the door.

"Yes, I do. I'm sorry," I said, and to my utter embarrassment, my voice cracked. "I should have known that this would have been difficult for you. I have always felt you were an indispensable person to me." I swallowed, and grudgingly added, "And my parents love you. Probably more than they do me. You are more worthy of being a Lee than I could ever be."

He didn't say anything, but he did not move to twist the door open. Encouraged, I took a deep breath. "I know what I ask of you sometimes is something no ordinary person would do. I think that is why I take advantage of your kindness. But you have to see things from my point of view, Alternis. Father asked me to bring peace to everybody. Treating Crystalists as the enemy or with suspicion won't help matters. After what I've seen, they aren't bad people. Those who were in charge of the Earth Crystal may have been, but surely you've noticed by now that Ancheim, who comprise of mostly Crystalists, are peaceful and kind. This is the one thing I cannot agree with you on, and if it means that we cannot get along because of it, so be it."

I paused here, hoping he would reply or to respond or to give me any insight to how he was feeling but he didn't.

Disappointed, but undaunted, I continued, "And as far as Ringabel goes, I apologize for that too. It wasn't my intention to humiliate you, but I can see why you may see it that way. You can stop being him at any time, and I won't hold it against you." I resisted the urge to tell him that I'd already offered him the choice to back out, but I held my tongue. I wanted so badly to repair our relationship, that even if it meant glossing over a few details, I'd gladly take it.

Still though, he did not respond.

Frustrated, I moved on to the last point. "I trust you, Alternis. Which is why I asked you what that dream was about and who it was you wanted to kill. I _am_ scared, but I won't be if you tell me what that was about. Don't you trust me?"

I let the question linger in the air. I did not dare to break the silence. I watched Alternis, noting the sharpness of his jawline, and the hollows of his throat. My eyes traveled down to his hand that was still on the doorknob. I saw him twist it, and wrench the door open.

I nearly stumbled backward at the force. Preoccupied with trying to balance myself, I heard him murmur, "Apologies."

When I righted myself, he'd left and it wasn't until fifteen minutes later, when I stopped feeling sorry for myself that I was no closer to the truth than I had been that I'd eavesdropped on his sleep talk.

* * *

**End of chapter.**

**Yoo, as usual favs/reviews/follows anything is appreciated. I appreciate it!**

**I expect we'll be moving away from Ancheim soon by the next chapter. So for those who hated this dusty ol' town, sorry! Next stop... Florem!**

**It's fun hearing you guys guess as to who the person Alternis wants to kill. So far the primary guesses are Edea and Agnès it seems, which is logical. I won't give away any answers except to say that even though this is about Edea largely, Alternis has his own story (Sometimes I wish I was writing this from his point of view. That would be interesting hearing whatever he really thinks about Edea's crazy schemes, eh?)**

**So many storylines, not enough time! Updates might be slower considering I'm doing a lot of writing in school too, now that that's started. Please be patient. I'll still try to update at least twice a month, if not more!**

**Again, thanks for supporting me and getting this past 3.5K views! Y'all rock!**


	10. The Wisdom of a Sage

**Thank you for the reviews and feedback, guys. I'm so happy, I could tearbend ;_;.**

**...And apologies for the long delay. I had to write a huge paper, and then I needed a break after that. So I took some time off writing (not entirely, because school but for this, I did.) and now I'm ready to continue.**

**To the anonymous reviewer, a fan, since I can't respond to you personally, I will do so here. First of all, congrats on finishing the game! I appreciate you taking your time out to review my story. I also want to thank you so much for your questions and clarifications. As far as Edea realizing her attractions towards Alternis, I believe she is slowly starting to come to that realization. Edea is a very stubborn girl as we all know, so it might take some time. However, once we reach Florem and get integrated into its culture, this process will be quickened as opposed to Ancheim. You'll also see her realization a lot more in this chapter. Don't want to spoil anything, but you'll see it within the first part of this chapter.**

**Secondly, as far as Edea confronting Alternis about how Eternia wasn't the cleanest nation either in the way it dealt with things... I really want to thank you for that because I know I thought about it while I was first writing Edea and Alternis's interactions, but - and this is embarrassing - I totally forgot to put it in. Alternis's extremist views on Crystalism however is something that is central to his character. As you're well aware, he also has major flaws and that happens to be one of them. He's stubborn in a sense that, even though he knows he might be wrong in his opinions, he still likes to be right and in control. Even though this is written from Edea's point of view and it is about her, I really wanted Alternis to have his own plot and characterization, rather than him just serving as a love interest. Unfortunately, because I'm writing from first person, there's only so much of him I can show, but hopefully Florem will show him a little more!**

**Again, thank you so much for the reviews guys! Can't believe we're past 40 reviews and over 4 K views! (Also sorry for this long A/N. Shutting up now!)**

* * *

_Dear Tiz,_

_It's been a really long time since we last exchanged letters. I know you're probably busy with rebuilding with Norende. Let me know if you need any help with that - I'll try getting Father to send a few people to help you out. How are the preparations going anyway? What about Egil? You know, I used to find his presence a little annoying but now I miss that guy. He was quite a trooper and, when all is said and done, he really came through for us. Tell him I said hello._

_As for me, I don't know if you're getting any reports on what I've been doing so far. Essentially, I'm in charge of rebuilding Eternia's relationships with the rest of Luxendarc. It's a daunting task, but I'm trying my best. My first stop was Ancheim, and I got to see Agnès. She's busy but lonely. I suppose that is the price she has to pay. Her only close friends were the acolytes who are now dead. Now all she has is you and me, since Ringabel no longer exists in our world. I think she's cheered up a bit since I've met up with her, but we all know who she really needs is you._

_Tiz, I know that you haven't been writing to Agnès. She's worried about you. I don't know the reason for your silence, but I do know it's unlike you to keep quiet. You have always acted with Agnès's best interests at heart and I know you are never too busy to write to her. She's a little hurt that you haven't been writing to her and she won't admit it, but I know she misses you deeply. And I'm sure you miss her deeply as well. You don't have to tell me the reason why you're not communicating with her. But I don't want our friendship to end. You and Agnès are two of the few people left in Luxendarc that I really care for and would do anything for. _

_If you feel up to writing me back, then please direct your mail towards Florem. I know this was sent from Ancheim, but I'll be leaving this place soon. My work here is done and if you are paying attention to the news going around, you'll see what I've been trying to do. I just hope that you approve. I really could use your advice and support. You always know the right thing to say._

_With love,_

_Edea Lee_

* * *

I had finished packing everything. All I needed was to say my goodbyes to Dominus before I boarded the ship with Agnès.

I also had to send a farewell towards Durrah, Farooq and Aziza. I didn't particularly mind saying goodbye to Aziza or even Farooq, but being in the same vicinity as Durrah was absolutely exhausting.

But Dominus had insisted upon it. "You and Agnès started this so you have to see it through. Not sending them off will make it look as if you do not endorse the representatives. People want to see you backing up your claims towards a more peaceful empire."

I sighed. I knew he was right, but every time I saw Durrah the image of her just being with Alternis rankled me. Agnès may have been onto something thinking this was just jealousy, but I had my suspicions that Durrah was doing it on purpose to rile me. Only three days had passed since I'd formally met her and in those three days, every time I crossed paths with her she was usually with Alternis practically pressed up against him each time.

It was completely different from the way I felt whenever Ringabel chased women or women chased Ringabel. I'd been annoyed at his flirtatious ways, but I'd accepted that that was who Ringabel was. My annoyance towards him was more of a rote action because _his_ actions towards women were often rote in itself.

But as far as I knew, Alternis had only really paid attention to me as a woman, and nobody else. The tables had turned now though. Ever since that day he'd stiffly apologized to me and left with no answers, we were avoiding each other. Something had shifted within me when he apologized. Well, shifted was the wrong word; snapped was more appropriate.

I'd made the decision shortly afterward that I had to let go. I couldn't handle having my hands tied with both him and the world; I needed to choose one. I wasn't even halfway through with my journey, and I needed to hasten the pace.

Besides, he had Durrah anyway. Durrah who had the perfect body, the perfect quips, the perfect face... Durrah, who I wanted to tackle to the floor and punch repeatedly in the face until I broke her nose-

"You'll tear your lovely dress if you keep pulling at it like that," Aziza said, startling me from my dark thoughts.

_I do not wish to kill her. She can be with Alternis all she wants_, I reminded myself, taking deep breaths before facing Aziza with a bright smile. "If my lady pleases, what can I do for you?"

Aziza's smiled. She was really tiny and ancient. With a hunched back, she was even shorter than Agnès who was already petite. It felt strange having to crane my neck down that much to address her. "You do not have to be so polite to one such as old as I, dear. You must be busy. People often are when it comes to the elderly."

Though her words were sad, her tone and demeanor was still warm and kind. I could see why people liked Aziza a lot and looked up to her. She had a way of speaking that commanded people to listen to her. She may be frail and soft-spoken but I knew she used these to her strength. "I will make sure that doesn't happen when you're on Grandship," I promised.

The old lady smiled, and patted my hand. "You are a kind woman, Edea but you seem troubled."

I felt the smile on my face freeze. "Not at all."

At that point, Durrah walked in with Farooq, Alternis and Agnès. Durrah shot me a smug look, which I yearned to fix by throwing something at her face.

"Edea dear, you just tensed," Aziza whispered to me. "Are you sure you're alright?"

I dropped my hand from hers. "Fine," I growled, carefully averting my gaze from Alternis who was also looking everywhere but at me. "Thought a fly was bothering me. Turns out, it's even worse."

"Shall we head to Grandship to see then?" Agnès asked, once they all approached us. I nodded and we set off at once. Agnès was up in the front with Dominus and Farooq, while Alternis was with Durrah. I brought up the rear, allowing Aziza to use me as a partial crutch. Grandship as well as the Eschalot II was parked right outside the kingdom which meant that the streets were lined up with curious onlookers and people who were celebrating their going.

I almost felt sorry for leaving Ancheim as I walked through its dusty streets; its people had grown on me and I'd gotten used to the tick-tocking of the city. I may never get used to the unbearable heat, but this place would always hold a place in my heart. "I can see why you love this place so much. It took me awhile, but I think I get it," I told Aziza.

"My people may not be the most beautiful like Florem's, or the most courageous like Eisenberg's, or the most intelligent like Eternia's, but we are honest, hardworking people," Aziza said as she navigated through the crowds. "We put our hearts and souls into the things that we create and we take pride in that. It is why I have called this place my home for so long."

I nodded. I wished that Alternis could see that these people went beyond their religion; they were not Crystalists who were corrupted by their faith. They believed in Crystalism fervently, and used that faith to further themselves in life. I couldn't understand how Alternis didn't get that, that there were bad people in any kind of group. The Crystalists in Eternia were horrible, sure, but so were we towards the rest of the nations.

I felt a swell of pride looking at them cheering us on. I smiled and waved. It'd been a long time since I felt so happy. _If I could feel like this sometimes as a ruler, perhaps being one is not such a bad thing after all_. I'd worked hard for this moment; we all had. Our mission was far from over, but this was the first time I felt like things were finally being set in motion.

By the time we reached the outside of Ancheim, people had clambered on the walls to see us off, as nobody but us were allowed outside the kingdom for security purposes. They waved and cheered from afar, calling out the Agnès, Dominus Harena and the three representatives. A few times I'd even heard _my_ name, which was strange, though not unpleasant by all means.

"Well, I suppose this is farewell," Agnès spoke. "May the blessings of the Crystal be upon you three, and may they guide you to making the right decisions on Luxendarc."

Farooq bowed to her, looking uncharacteristically modest. "And may the blessings of the Crystal protect you, Wind Vestal. You are our last remaining link to the Crystals." It was really something when even Farooq, out of all people, was not wary of Agnès and spoke to her with kindness. I suppose Agnès had that sort of effect everywhere she went. Heck, I'd even fallen for it the moment I talked to her. She had so much charisma and charm, and she wasn't even aware of it. She was a born leader. I, on the other hand, had to work hard to be liked.

Aziza didn't bow, but she took Agnès's hand and kissed it. "You are a strong woman, my child. Never forget that. Do not forget to take care of yourself sometimes too." She turned to me and said, "You too. You both might be leaders but that does not mean you must sacrifice who you are. Rest and don't forget to keep those you trust close."

Farooq scowled at me. "You're not as bad as I thought, Lee girl but I suggest you work harder."

At this point, I knew it was as good a compliment as I'd ever get from Farooq. "Your sentiments are appreciated. I'd only expect the same from you."

He stared at me for a moment, before nodding slowly. "Alright."

I turned to Durrah, who was whispering something into Alternis's ear. "Bye, Durrah. It was fun," I said, though I made sure she didn't think I thought so at all from my tone.

She ignored me, and instead pulled Alternis into an embrace, burying her face into his neck. My eyebrows shot up at this, but I prepared to look away. I was _so_ not going to ogle at them anymore.

But then she raised her head and _kissed _him. On the lips. And I'm not talking about a simple peck. Her lips were locked onto his firmly and then I saw her mouth open.

She was _Frenching_ him.

In front of me.

My jaw dropped. Alternis seemed shocked for a moment, then put his arms around her, and dipped her, so that he was the only person holding her from falling. I watched them kiss for a second longer until he finally tapered the kiss off. He kissed her once on the cheek gently, and then stood her upright. She was blushing furiously, but had a very pleased look on her face.

I couldn't believe what I'd just seen.

He had just _kissed _her.

The image had now burned itself into my memory. A new slew of white, angry unanswered questions sprung up in my mind. Was that his first kiss? Where had he learned to be so romantic?

_Why did he kiss her?!_

I noticed I was glaring at them, so I hastily rearranged my expression so that Agnès wouldn't catch me and call me out on it.

And most importantly, the question that went through my mind: So... was it really over between us then?

_Alternis...! Alternis is perfectly capable of doing whatever he wants_, I argued with myself. _It's not like he ever really saw me in that way anyway. And anyway, I rejected his proposal sort of when we fought. Still, how is he able to kiss somebody so soon after proposing to _me_?_

Still, I imagined him doing the same thing to me, bending over me to kiss me and I felt a curl of desire stretch out within me. Where had that come from? I felt my face flush at the idea. Hastily, I turned to Dominus Harena and Agnès who were discussing the food on the ship and how it had excellent quality.

Vaguely, I smiled, thinking about the Drunken Pig, and trying to forget about what I'd just fantasized. I'd spent a lot of great times inside that tavern with Tiz, Agnès and Ringabel. Things seemed almost easy back then compared to now. I was well equipped to take down beasts and following Agnès's decisions, but being an actual leader was far more difficult. Not to mention, Alternis was so much more complicated than Ringabel was ever to me.

"You miss it, don't you?" Dominus said, nodding towards the ship. "The thrill of adventure, being on the front lines."

"Yeah," I confessed, uneasily. "Is that bad? The only reason I ever felt useful was because I was a warrior. But now..."

"Wars are easy to start. It's the clean up that's the hard part," he said, toeing the sand with his slippered foot. "It is meant to be hard so do not think you're not fit for this role."

I wiped my forehead, a little startled at his compliment. Though Dominus was gracious and helpful towards me, he hadn't really said that I should continue on this path. This was probably the first time he'd ever given me a compliment on what I was doing. In a way, he was kind of like Master Kamiizumi; helpful and kind, yet reserving compliments until I really needed to hear it. "Thank you," I said. "For making it a little easier on me."

He turned to me, tugging his beard and frowning a little, as if lost in thought. "I do not say this out of arrogance, but you are correct. The people really respect the Wind Vestal and I, which is why I think your plan worked. You are headed to Florem next where the Matriarch does not hold as much sway over her people and if my reports are correct, especially not after the Blood Rose Legion left their mark there. It will be far more difficult to get Florem's women on your side unless you appeal to them directly, rather than with endorsements on mine and Agnès's part."

I realized he was right. Simply going to the Matriarch wouldn't be enough. I needed to make them notice _me _as a capable leader. But how could I do that when the place was filled with women who only cared about outward beauty? I never thought of myself as ugly, but I thought I looked okay. And I was decent at putting on make up, but I knew I didn't hold a candle to a lot of the girls in Florem.

Agnès might be able to do it, I thought. She was naturally pretty and had feminine curves that I clearly lacked. The only problem was that she absolutely refused to be made up, believing that dyeing her hair, or putting on make up or wearing anything fashionable would compromise her beliefs as the Wind Vestal. My eyes drifted over to Durrah who was still whispering to Alternis. My eyes lingered on her made up hair, her winged eyeliner and lastly to her shiny, plum lips.

_No_, I thought firmly. I would see Durrah off, no matter what. She was _not_ coming with us to Florem. Avoiding Alternis was enough on my plate.

Briefly, I thought about the Bravo Bikini that Mother had stored into my clothes and blushed. Agnès had mentioned stopping by Yulyana's place on the way to Florem. If I could get him to hem it to my measurements (as it was meant for Agnès, the bra was far too big, and the bikini was a tad bit too small) then maybe _I_ could...

"Theo," I barked. Theo, who had just come off the boarding ramp of the Eschalot ran towards me, curtsying clumsily. "Is the ship prepared?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Alright then, it's time to board. Set a course for the Yulyana Woods."

"The Yulyana Woods?" Alternis asked, evidently overhearing us and breaking our silence between us for the first time. "Why?"

_Oh, now you want to talk? After you just locked lips with that... woman! _I felt my anger flare up. I didn't think I'd ever reach a point where I wouldn't be angry at Alternis. Coldly, I asked, "Are you questioning your leader?"

I felt his confusion switch to anger as well on my words. "No, Angel," he spat, using the term of endearment like it was a curse. It was an unconvincing act. Ringabel would never have displayed that much anger and disrespect towards my face. "Not at all." I felt a little guilty at being that harsh towards him, but not enough to do anything about it.

I shook Dominus's Hand one last time, waved a farewell, and then began to climb the ramp, not looking at Alternis as I passed him by.

* * *

It had been an hour since we took off, and I'd retired to my quarters since, drawing on what I remembered in Florem. I personally had enjoyed Florem as a city more than any of the other places I had visited. Unfortunately, a large bulk of my worst memories existed here. Florem reminded me strongly of the Blood Rose Legion, and with it came the the fact that I'd had a hand in killing the Venus sisters. I'd never been particularly close to Artemia or Mephelia, but killing them had truly marked the fact that I was betraying Eternia. I hadn't felt as horrible killing Heinkel or Ominas because I hadn't known them that well. But Artemia and Mephilia were not only sisters to Einheria, she'd also deeply cared for them and I'd murdered them...

And then I'd killed Einheria too. My closest female friend, and best matched rival when it came to Kamiizumi's students. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to rid myself of the memories. The guilt would never go away. Agnès, Tiz and Ringabel would never understand how I felt about this; they had never had to make the conscious decision to kill those they'd loved. It was true, that Agnès had been forced to kill Airy, but the cryst-fairy was somebody that she hadn't known for as long as I did the people I killed. I'd gone so far as to prepare myself to kill my own father and if he hadn't buckled down, I probably would have done it too.

A strange thought crept in my head: Was I really any different from Ouroborous when it came to my ideals? I'd followed them so strongly, I'd killed many people in the process, people that I loved who had tried to stop me.

I took a deep breath, and turned to the information spread out on my bed, trying hard to push the troubling thought away. I would not accomplish anything if I kept thinking about it. Those thoughts were for the night when I had nightmares.

I couldn't rely solely on the reports I'd gotten. Florem might have changed slightly, but I'd gotten reports that the Spring Festival was fast approaching and that each year, the Spring Festival held another pageant that held a lot of sway over public opinion. I bit my lip for a moment, poring over the Spring Festival's history.

It was an ancient tradition, like the Beauty Contest, that was born alongside Florem. But while the Beauty Contest was to celebrate the most beautiful woman, inside and outside, the Spring Festival was a sacred festival that honored beauty in all forms. It also celebrated rebirth, and mating. My elbow nearly slipped off the table at that, but I quickly regained my senses. Men from all over Luxendarc, married and unmarried, visited Florem during this time because there was a _lot_ of coupling going on, and the festival lasted a week. Disgusted, I pinched my nose for a moment. In Florem, marriage was considered almost a scandal. You simply did _not_ latch onto a man for the rest of your years. But mating with a man unmarried was a different story; how else would they keep Florem's population intact when the town consisted only of women? I found the concept so strange and foreign. I made a mental note to get used to the idea before we docked in Florem. It wouldn't do if I made a disparaging comment towards this practice.

I sighed, lost in thought. The Spring Festival also crowned a Spring Queen. Usually it was the matriarch, but because the matriarch no longer held much sway over the town anymore it would most likely go to the most popular girl in town. I pursed my lips. With the Spring Festival starting in two weeks, there wasn't a lot of time to make mine or Agnès's mark.

A hesitant knock on my door interrupted my thoughts. "Who is it?" I called out briskly.

"Theo, ma'am," he said, and sounded almost apologetic, as if he knew he'd just interrupted me. "Er, we're fifteen minutes away from landing at Sage Yulyana's house."

I paused, processing the news. "Who sent you?"

A slight hesitation. "Nobody," he said quickly, which confirmed everything for me.

In Ancheim, Alternis would have come himself. Now, he'd sent Theo. I fisted my hands into the dress I was wearing, trying not to feel the weight of his absence crush my insides. Well, so be it then. If he wanted to give me the cold shoulder too then I would give it right back to him.

I quickly filled a bag with various items, preparing to get outside. I rummaged through my bag of asterisks, and found the Knight one and let its magic engulf me. Then, I went to find Agnès. I didn't plan to spend too much time here, so I figured it would be best if only she and I went to his house and left everybody else back at the ship.

I found her in the docking bay, speaking to one of the guards. She was wearing her Spirit Master garment, and looked quite intelligent with her glasses on. Agnès had always been quite an expert when it came to White Magic. It made me envious because I had no aptitude for magic at all compared to everybody else. I'd had to stick with the sword or axe, which was apparently the only thing I was good at. My spells never came out as powerful as Agnès's did and Ringabel had always teased me about that, saying White Magic could only be wielded by those with feminine hands. I'd promptly kneed him in the groin for saying that.

"Ready to go?" I asked Agnès who nodded.

I started for the ramp, when she said, "Wait, um, isn't Alternis supposed to follow you?"

I pressed my lips tightly together, wishing that I was wearing Dark Knight armor so that my face wouldn't betray the strange mixture of anger and sadness that I felt. The truth was, I was actually a little used to Alternis being at my side. But I'd be damned if I asked him to guard me. "I think we'll be fine on our own. You can heal and I can hack and slash. We'll be unstoppable! Besides, that old coot's house isn't too far away."

Agnès bit her lip. "If you're certain."

I turned to the guard Agnès had been talking to. "If Alternis asks if we've left already, tell him we have and that he is to remain on board and assume full command until Agnès and I return. If we are not back within the next day, you may send a search party. But I don't think it's necessary."

He saluted. "Very good, ma'am."

My armer clinked as I made my way down the ship. Next to me, Agnès's lab coat whipped about her as she hurried to catch up with me. "Edea, are you and Alternis arguing again?"

I rubbed my forehead. "What was your first clue?" I grumbled.

We started towards the Yulyana woods. It was hot and slightly humid, but thankfully not as bad as Ancheim's heat. Anything was better than that.

"Well, I thought perhaps it was because he, well, he was... _intimate_ with Durrah," Agnès said, blushing furiously as she said it. I had to grin; she was too adorable. I don't think Agnès ever had time for boys, or really cared much for them at all until she met Tiz. She could tell me I was jealous and had feelings for Alternis all she wanted, but at the end of the day, she was a lot more innocent and nervous when it came to this kind of stuff. I doubt she'd even kissed a boy.

In this sense, I had the upper hand. I was still a virgin, but because Master Kamiizumi's dojo was mostly comprised of boys, I'd had my fair share of trysts in the physical affection department. I'd kissed boys before, so I didn't mind talking about it. But I never really loved anyone of them the same way I had Ringabel or even Alternis.

...Not that I was in love with him or anything.

"I'm not mad he kissed her," I said. "He can do whatever he wants." _Lies, Edea. All lies!_ But it wasn't all lies, I tried to convince myself. After all, we were already on icy terms before that.

"Then what is it?" Agnès asked. "What are you mad at him for this time?"

I faced her, biting my lip. I hadn't told her about what I'd overheard him say in his sleep. And suddenly I had to wonder. I couldn't believe that this whole time I didn't think about it before.

Perhaps the reason why Alternis refused to tell me what that dream was about and who he was trying to kill...

It couldn't have been me because Alternis wouldn't kill me. I was the Grand Marshal's daughter. He respected my father too much to do that.

So he wouldn't kill me. But on the other hand he had tried to kill another girl before multiple times. My heart was racing as my mind strung it together.

_He'd tried to kill..._

"Agnès," I breathed.

"What? You fought over me?" she asked, completely oblivious to the conclusion I just came to.

I couldn't tell her yet. Not when I wasn't certain. "I don't want you hanging out with Alternis alone," I said, injecting as much solemnity in my voice as I possibly could. Agnès gave me an amused yet exasperated look. "I'm serious Agnès. Don't go near him."

Agnès's brow creased between her eyebrows when she frowned. "What is this about?"

"I..."

I was jumping to conclusions right? A chill ran down my back. Alternis _knew_ that Eternia was offering Agnès protection and that Father was fully supporting me in aiding Agnès in finding new vestals. He wouldn't be so reckless.

...Except that he was so blinded by his hatred for Crystalism. I wanted to know why Alternis seemed more prejudiced against Crystalism than even my father. I wanted to ask him, but I realized I wasn't speaking to him. I gritted my teeth.

But if my suspicion was correct, then I would _have _to confront him regardless. The question was when, or even if he would respond to my questioning.

Agnès suddenly smiled slyly, playfully. "Edea Lee, you're not _jealous_ are you? Of even me? I do not think Alternis cares very much for me, after all."

_No!_ I wanted to shout, but I realized that if I didn't want to tell her the real reason, this would probably be the only excuse Agnès would accept. "Um," I responded weakly. This was embarrassing, but it was necessary, I reminded myself. "Please, just don't."

"I think you are blowing this far too out of proportion, Edea," Agnès said, and this time she truly did sound exasperated. "Your jealousy is getting a little out of control. It's making you look quite batty."

_I hope so_, I thought desperately. Instead I shrugged my shoulders.

Despite changing into my Knight asterisk, it was absolutely unnecessary because we didn't encounter any monsters on the way to Sage Yulyana which felt strange. Now that the balance of the dimensions were righted, the monsters seemed a lot more at peace especially in Yulyana's woods. "I didn't think I'd miss Yulyana," I said as we approached his cottage.

I wasn't a huge fan of Yulyana, but I had to respect the things that he did for us. He may have been a perverted old codger who insulted my cooking (which was totally unwarranted; my cooking was great) but if it weren't for his great wisdom, foresight, and powers, we would have been dead and Ouroborous would rule everything.

"You often don't know who you'll miss until they're gone," Agnès said, a mournful note on her sweet voice. At first I thought she was talking about Tiz, but then I realized that she always knew she'd miss Tiz even before they actually parted ways. This sounded like whoever she was talking about, she would never see again. I knew because I felt that way whenever I thought about Ringabel.

Who I admittedly hadn't thought about much lately. I just didn't have enough time. Guiltily, I tried to remember the last time I thought about him and failed. It wasn't that I didn't _truly_ forget about him, just that he was no longer the most freshest thing on my mind. Was this what people meant when they said time healed all wounds? Perhaps the wound that his memory left in my mind was slowly turning into a scar.

"Edea is it horrible that I-" Agnès began, but before she had a chance to finish the Sage's door opened and the tiny man himself came out.

"Well, I must have died and gone up to heaven for this pleasant sight," Yulyana said, grinning widely through his beard. Ugh, I'd forgotten how lecherous he'd sounded. "To what do I owe this delight to?"

"We just wanted to visit you," Agnès said, smiling serenely. I was surprised at how quickly her face transformed. Just moments before, her face had looked troubled, almost shameful. Now it looked calm. I wondered when Agnès had acquired such mastery over her facial expressions, but then I realized it was something she was forced to learn these past few months. Now that she was a public beacon and unofficial leader of Crystalism, it made sense that this was one thing she had to learn whether she wanted to or not.

"And I was wondering if you could alter this," I said, stuffing my knapsack into his hands.

"Edea, a few polite manners would be nice," Agnès hissed under her breath.

I shrugged. I didn't particularly deign any sort of politeness to a man who unashamedly stared.

The sage opened up the drawstrings, completely unaware of our exchange. I saw the wrinkles in his brow crease deeper as he raised his eyebrows at its contents. "You want _me_ to alter the Bravo Bikini for you? But... why...?"

"Perhaps you'd better let us in," I suggested.

"By all means. I'll make us some tea," he said, ushering us into his house.

I took a seat next to Agnès by a window in the kitchen. Despite the fact that I wasn't overly fond of Yulyana as a person, I absolutely loved his house. It was spacious, but not _too_ spacious, and there were a lot of homey elements. I'd lived in a cold, dank castle for half my life and my living quarters as Master Kamiizumi's dojo were sparsely furnished. But Yulyana's house showed the kind of person who lived here. At the back was his workspace for sewing clothes. There were racks of beautiful and strange garments and strips of cloth everywhere. This house, set in the woods with a stream right in front of it was the very home I'd love to live in, if I could.

But obviously that wouldn't happen for a long time. If I were Eternia's next leader, I'd live in Central Command. I frowned.

"Don't frown too deeply; you're far too young to have any sort of wrinkles on your face, dear," he said, handing me a cup of tea. That only made me frown deeper. When I drank the tea, I nearly spat it out.

It wasn't unpleasant, but because I was used to having mine with milk and sugar this was strange. Noting my expression, he smiled knowingly. "You haven't been sleeping well, have you?"

"How did you...?"

"I can only imagine that all Heroes of Light have not been," he said. "Regardless, this tea should help you sleep a little better. It's a stress reliever that bars the drinker from dreaming but I caution you; it can only do so much."

"Yes, but how did you know?"

He stroked his beard and took a seat opposite to us, taking a long sip of his. "You four have been through so much for the past few months. You've traveled long distances, across different dimensions and relived some of your worst horrors multiple times. You have been through so much in so little time that it's understandable that the stress of it is finally catching up. Soldiers often have this once they've seen battle. What you're going through is a sort of post-traumatic stress disorder. I'm not sure why it only manifests when you're asleep because usually it only manifests when something triggers it. Perhaps you are simply blessed. Who knows? But there's no easy way to overcome it, that I'm sure of. You must find the way through it within yourself."

I hated answers like that, because I'd suspected it all along. There was no easy way out of this. With all the magical, medical developments that existed in Luxendarc there wasn't a lot of leeway when it came to curing the mind. I sighed. "Thanks for your help anyway."

We chatted for awhile. Sage Yulyana already appeared to know what we were up to. "As far as finding the vestals, Agnès, I believe it will not be that difficult. The Matriarch of Florem has already found a suitable match for the new Water Vestal. I have seen the child as well, and it seems that she would be adequate so you have a head start there."

Agnès looked startled. "Is that so?"

"I assume you may have come across the child in other dimensions. The Matriarch keeps this child very close to her."

Now that I thought about it, I remembered who Yulyana was talking about. There _had_ been a child in the Matriarch's quarters. She'd been plain, ordinary, compared to the rest of Florem's women but the Matriarch had been utterly convinced she'd be the next Water Vestal. I didn't know how the Matriarch would even be that certain of it, but we'd know for certain once Agnès had a chance to examine the child properly.

Sage Yulyana turned to me. "I can already guess at why you've given me this garment to alter. You've got a long road ahead of you. It won't be easy to pull the women of Florem out of their superficial stupor. I suggest you use those around you as best you can." He studied me, and I felt weirded out. Not because he was checking me out - because Yulyana did that often - but because he was regarding me seriously. He'd mostly paid attention to Agnès and sometimes Tiz, but didn't really care much for me. Now he was imparting some of his advice on me.

He finished the last of his tea and got up, tottering towards the kitchen sink. His small frame looked deceptively fragile, but I knew that taking his asterisk had been our hardest fight after Ouroborous and Airy. "You're taking that boy with you, aren't you?" he asked.

"Which boy?" I asked. I tentatively took another sip and found it wasn't _too_ horrible if a person could get past the watery aspect of it and the lack of sweetness.

"Your right-hand man. What's his name? The one who is on the Council of Six. The Dark Knight. I can never remember his name."

I grimaced. "Unfortunately," I grumbled. I wish I'd left him on Ancheim. His lack of presence while onboard was suffocating.

"I am not one to tell you how to live your life, but keep a close eye on him," he said.

I felt the hair on my arms raise unexpectedly at that. Did Yulyana know something I didn't? "What do you mean?" I demanded.

Yulyana turned around, a smile on his face. "Probably nothing. The Grand Marshal trusted him after all. Then again, the Grand Marshal put his faith in some scoundrels that only exacerbated the conflicts in Luxendarc. Still, keep a close eye on him while you are in Florem."

It was the last thing I wanted to do, but I reminded myself that I had to confront him over Agnès anyway. What a bother! Alternis was supposed to protect me and now _I_ had to keep an eye on him? I refrained from rolling my eyes.

I didn't know if I could extort any answers from him. After all, he'd already rebuffed my questions once. My heart beat slowly and painfully at the memory. I couldn't believe he couldn't trust me.

That was what this boiled down to. He wasn't comfortable with giving me answers. It meant that he thought I couldn't handle the truth or that I'd try to stop him. But he needed to see that I wasn't some spoiled princess who backed away when things got ugly. I wasn't the Edea he'd first met all those years ago.

I realized that there was no way Alternis could be the same person that _I'd_ met all those years ago either. This only served to harden my resolve; if Alternis was making a decision that I didn't agree with, then of course I'd stop him. It didn't matter how I felt about him - if I was starting to fall in love with him, or if I cared for him, or if he drove me so crazy I really didn't know _how_ to feel about him. But in the end, I knew that if this choice of his was the wrong decision then I needed to be there for him. After all, hadn't he tried to stop us so many times before from resurrecting the Crystals?

I bit my lip. Alternis had never given up on me, so I wouldn't give up on him even if _he_ was the very thing that was stopping me from doing whatever it was that I needed to do to protect him.

I looked at Yulyana. "I will."

* * *

**And that concludes this extremely long chapter in which not much happened and is not edited at all because I really wanted to get this out before I forgot about it. It's been awhile huh? Hope this long one covered the absence though. Sorry guys, I know I said Florem was this chapter, but I think I needed this necessary detour to Yulyana's house. Anyway, for sure, next chapter will have Florem. That I promise!**

**Please support my story by fav'ing/following/reviewing and sharing it with others! You guys are the greatest. **


	11. More Black than White

**As always, I want to thank my dear readers who have kept up with this story even though the updating pace is starting to slow down. I figured I needed to get an update in before November. I'm planning on doing NaNoWriMo, and there's an idea I've been waffling with for years now that I really need to write out. Therefore, I may not have as much time to write for November.**

**As for why I haven't been updating as fast as before, school is simply not letting me! Plus... with the release of Super Smash Bros... well you know where I'm headed with that. If you have the game, please don't hesitate to PM me your friend code! I'd love to battle sometime.**

**And now, for my anonymous reviews:**

**Amethyst \- First of all, thank you so much for reading my story. It means a lot to me that you've been reading it, as well as now you took the time out to leave a review. Thank you so much for the kind words! As for your theory... That's a pretty good guess about Alternis's dream, but all I can say is, you'll find out... sooner rather than later! Hehe, don't want to spoil anything. You are absolutely correct on Alternis being from Florem before Braev found him. So yes, we'll find out a lot more on Alternis in the Florem arc. Ancheim was just a start up place, but Florem should focus more on Alternis and Edea's relationship, as well as what happened there previously. And, oh yeah, Alternis probably won't be very pleased when Edea dons that Bravo Bikini... Ah, it'll be... interesting, that's for sure! Again, thank you so much for your patience!**

**a \- Thank you so much for your kind words! Middle of the semester means a bigger workload, but it's eased up a little so I can finally get this done! As for Tiz... yeah, trouble is a good word for it. Unfortunately, it'll be some time before we get to the crux of his problem... although, I think if you really think about what Tiz had to go through and and the kind of person he is, coupled with the ending of Bravely Default, it shouldn't be too hard to guess what his motives are in this fic. I tried to do his character justice, especially since he won't appear until much later, but I wanted readers to know he hadn't been left behind. Again, thank you so much for the review!**

**And without further ado, here we go!**

* * *

_Dear Edea,_

_It's nice to hear from you. I have actually heard about what you've been up to. The United Nations of Luxendarc sounds like a good thing in theory. I hope it works._

_Caldisla is quiet. Egil is fine. The reconstruction is going fine too. I'm sorry if my reply doesn't show much; I've been rather busy. Tell Agnès I said hello. I think about you all often._

_Tiz Arrior_

* * *

"That's it? Hello?" Agnès screeched in my ear. She sounded wounded, and with good reason. _Tiz, what's going on?_ I thought, rereading his short letter for the umpteenth time. The letter had been spread out so often that its fold lines no longer worked; it lay flat on my desk without the help of my hands.

"Well, maybe he's not very good at letters?" I suggested. "He is a farm boy after all. I'm surprised he can even write." But Tiz's handwriting was actually very neat and small. Neater than mine actually, although that wasn't saying much; I had awful handwriting, which was sad considering I'd had lessons on the actual craft..

"Don't be ridiculous, Edea," Agnès snapped, causing me to shoot a surprised look at her. She seemed to be in a very bad mood, and I didn't have to guess why. Tiz's cool "hello" had to burn at least a little after everything we'd been through. Even I felt a little stung at the brevity and lack of passion in the letter. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but I wanted him to be happy for me too, or at least encourage me. Even though Tiz came from the most ordinary circumstances, I still valued his opinion the most. He had the makings of a real leader and had a knack for being a peacemaker and balancing opinions. He alone was the only person who could really calm Agnès down when she was worrying due to his unwavering patience.

It had been only a few hours since we landed in Florem. This time, there were a bunch of men here already, and they all ogled at the women unashamed, which infuriated me but the women didn't seem to mind. The women of Florem in turn were greatly curious as to the Eschalot; but they were disappointed when they found out that "the princess of Eternia" was just me. It did kind of hurt a little when they all turned away but I guess I couldn't really compete with the beauty in Florem. The average girl in Florem would probably look like a supermodel in Eternia. They had the right curves, their hair was glossy and held itself just right, and their nails _always_ matched their outfit which was the right shade for their skin tone. Their faces were made up, giving them the attractiveness of angels or fairies or, if they were going for seduction, succubi.

Reluctantly, my gaze had drifted to Alternis who was playing Ringabel like it was his sworn duty. He had waved and blew kisses at girls and surprisingly, a _lot_ of Florem girls bought it, batting their eyelashes and sashaying about him. I'd pursed my lips, and fought the urge to punch them all in the face. Most of all, I really wanted to tell Alternis to stop. It was my fault this was happening of course, but I wasn't about to tell him that I was gripped with jealousy.

In any case, he was playing his role as a flirt a little _too_ well. Girls didn't respond to Ringabel as much as they did to Alternis who was playing as Ringabel which was curious. They were identical, so it wasn't their attractiveness. I supposed that they both brought something different to the table though. Ringabel was playful, and I suppose girls got that vibe that he'd always be available. But Alternis had an edge that Ringabel didn't have. There was something harder in his eyes that seemed like a dare for women to approach him, despite the flirtatious act he delivered as Ringabel. Perhaps that was it, I thought.

But within the privacy of the quarters the Matriarch had granted us within her palace, Alternis was now his usual self which was stiff and alert. It was only when he was like this that I could confront him, I realized.

"Sorry," I told Agnès after a moment of watching her. I still didn't know how to calm her down as well as Tiz, so I decided to tread cautiously.

"It's alright. It's my fault. I shouldn't have snapped at you." Agnès's frown lines creased, and her face reddened slightly in embarrassment.

"I'm sure he's fine," I said, placing my hand on her shoulder and giving it a comforting squeeze.

Agnès faced me. "How can you say that? The lack of updates says it all. I think... I think Tiz is in trouble and he refuses to tell us what is wrong. I hate that; he has helped me and been invaluable to me this whole time even when I sought to turn him away and the least I can do is repay him. But how can I when I do not know what ails him?"

I dropped my hand from her shoulder. "I don't know." I wish I _could_ give her an answer though. I was facing the same problem myself with Alternis and so far most of my decisions had driven the wedge further between us. "But after Florem, we'll see what's up once and for all."_  
_

I wasn't sure if I wanted to go to Caldisla; Father had said it would be a good idea but I'd thought about skipping it multiple times. There was no temple there, and I knew Caldisla would be hard to win over, especially after Heinkel had killed Owen. I didn't know Owen that well, but from what Karl the innkeeper had told me, he was a popular, handsome person and his loss had crippled Caldisla. I was told the whole kingdom mourned him which was a lot, when you considered he was only the head of the king's guard.

But I was starting to see how necessary it was to go. If I didn't try with Caldisla, I knew that would only look like a slight to them. And now that Tiz was acting strange, I deemed it even more necessary to go. The thing about Tiz that separated him from us was that he always had a choice to take arms and fight. For Agnès, she had no choice as she was the only living vestal and was running for her life. For Ringabel, he had his diary to tell him what to do, and little else to go off of. And as for me, my stake in being a Hero of Light was personal. No matter what decision I made, I still would have had a hand for Luxendarc's fate, being the only daughter of the Grand Marshal. But Tiz was an ordinary farm boy. It was true that the Great Chasm had ruined Norende, but he could have walked away at any time. He hadn't lost his memories, he wasn't being hunted down and he wasn't the child of somebody important.

But he never had backed down. The fact that he made his choice and came along with us showed how great of a person Tiz was. It was only then that I realized I needed to return the favor.

I was starting to get ahead of myself. First things first, I needed to find Alternis. I excused myself from Agnès, muttering about fresh air before I exited her quarters. Florem's Palace was beautiful. The blue and purple marble floors were so polished I could see my reflection clearly if I looked down. There were sparkling fountains and ponds within the palace with brilliantly colored koi fish. I'd only ever seen koi fish in whites, blacks, oranges and yellows, but these koi fish were also pink, green, blue and purple. I paused at the biggest one which was in the center of the main hallway. This pond was so enormous, a bridge was built over it. I walked on it and stared down at the fish for a moment.

The largest one here was a black and white koi. It was almost about the size of an adolescent shark. It moved lethargically up and down the length of the pond.

"They say that the first Matriarch of Florem was a sorceress who imbued that koi with magic that reflected on the goodness of Florem's people," Alternis said behind me. I nearly jumped, whirling around to see where he was.

"Oh, it's you," I said, trying to make it sound like I didn't care. But I did. My heart was beating a strange tattoo against my ribcage but whether it was from anger, hurt, or happiness, I couldn't tell. I tore my eyes away from him and glanced at the koi. "It's more black than white."

"That's because Florem is a place with no morals," Alternis said, and I was surprised to hear the bitterness in his voice. Woah, it sounded even worse than how he was at Ancheim. "The women here care little about anything else but what's on the outside."

It only took me a second to realize why that may be the case. I reminded myself that Father had found Alternis here. It had been these slums where Alternis had been found. With a start, I realized what Sage Yulyana had been trying to tell me. I needed to keep a closer eye on Alternis in _Florem_. _  
_

The Sage had specifically picked out Florem. For the first time in a really long time I completely forgot about being angry at him and turned to face him. What was ailing him, was bigger than me right now, and I realized I needed more answers. "Has my father ever let you take a post here?"

He turned away from the koi to face me also. His eyes were trained on his feet, but they slowly rose to meet mine, his gray eyes a hellish mess. "No."

"Why not?"

"You wouldn't understand."

I hated being shut out. I was sick of it, but this time I knew that if I backed out now, I may never get a chance to talk to him. I grabbed his hand with both of mine, and he flinched, his face growing a delicate shade of red. "Alternis, _please_. Stop trying to shut me out. I want to help you."

"That's not your job." He tried to tug his hand away half-heartedly, but I held onto it. "Let go of me."

"It _is_ my job," I insisted, but I said it softly so that he didn't think I was antagonizing him.

"You're my employer. It isn't."

I felt the weight of his words when he said that. _Employer_. Like we were only linked through business. I didn't want to be just business. And I realized then that sometimes I _did_ treat him like just an employer when I didn't tell him what was on my mind or ordered him to do my bidding. I turned his hand over, looking at the torturous surface of the back of it. I traced the veins, the knuckles, drawing slow, deep circles with my thumbs. I heard him inhale deeply, so I looked up at him. He was transfixed by what I was doing with my hands.

"I'm your friend too. I'm your family, aren't I?" I said in a low voice. _Let me in, Alternis. Please._

His eyes raised to mine and for a moment I thought I'd broken into his walls. He looked like he wanted to tell me something. But he merely sighed and pulled his hands away from mine. "Thank you for the sentiment," he said.

I felt like I'd just been so close to a breakthrough. Now I was disappointed. "It's not just a sentiment," I said turning towards the pond. "I mean what I say."

"Am I really your friend? Do you really consider me your family?" Alternis challenged.

"Of course I do!" I said, annoyed that the moment between us was thoroughly over. I watched the black and white koi sluggishly move underneath the bridge we stood upon.

"Then why don't you ever tell me what _you're_ up to? I wasn't aware of your offering to help that Wind Vestal out in finding the vestals, but you know what? I allowed it." I bristled at that. _Allowed_ me? As in he controlled me? "But what I didn't know was that you were so pro-Crystalist to the point where you would find a vestal in Eternia itself!"

I opened my mouth once, but I had to really think about it. "Well, that's because I _knew_ you'd discourage me from doing it."

"Because it's a stupid idea."

"It's not stupid! Father asked me to repair relationships between the nations!"

"That doesn't mean we have to infiltrate that filth with our own nation, especially when you consider what happened last time. What would the Grand Marshal say?"

I frowned. "It doesn't matter. More than half the population in Luxendarc now is well on its way to becoming Crystalist. Now that the war in Eisenberg is over, the dominant religion there is Crystalist, as it is in Ancheim with the Khamer's assassination and Agnès's high approval ratings. Now that the Bloodrose Legion has disbanded, this also means that Florem will probably slowly revert back to what they used to be. Regardless of how you and I feel about Crystalism, we need to capitalize on this change now and help Crystalism grow into something incorruptible which also includes Eternia."

He snorted. "And you think that's possible?"

I glared at him for a moment. Then I sighed. "I don't know if it's ever possible for large community to be one-hundred percent incorruptible. Even Eternia does not carry that honor. Even _you_ can't deny that after seeing what the Profiteur, Qada and DeRosa did." I shot him a knowing look, that made him back off slightly. For all his proclamations on how Eternia was the best country, he had to admit that even this was bad. "But I _do_ know it's a cause that Agnès truly believes in and I know she's a good person. She wouldn't try to use her power for evil. She's incorruptible."_  
_

"You don't know that."

"I do. She risked her life to save mine. And it wouldn't kill you to treat her with a little respect either. I know she can be naïve and strange. Trust me, when I first met her, it wasn't an easy friendship, but now I would risk my life to save hers."

Alternis turned away from the fish pond. "That's the thing, Edea. You wear your heart on your sleeve. You may sacrifice yourself for that woman, but what of the fate of Eternia?"

I too turned away from the pond to face him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that Eternia won't exactly be pleased when the news reaches them that you're searching for a vestal for the Earth Crystal and plan to rebuild its temple. They will hate you for what you've done."

I blinked rapidly. I didn't know why I hadn't considered that possibility before. "Well, I guess that's just one more thing then."

He narrowed his eyes at that. "What do you mean, 'just one more thing', Edea?"

Oh, crap. I hadn't told him about Mother's letters to me and the fact that I had some mysterious political opponent and how marriage or even a partner would raise my chances of beating him at elections. I bit my lip. For everything I'd said about friendship and family, I owed him this. "The thing is..." I started slowly, and then recounted what Mother had told me. I gazed at him as I talked, looking for any sign of change in his face, especially when I talked about her urging me to marry. But the only time his face sank into a frown was when I mentioned the political opponent.

"I do not know of anybody who would try to usurp the Grand Marshal like this," he said when I finished. "This is most troubling."

I set my lips into a firm line, slightly annoyed he hadn't even brought up the marriage part or even reacted to it at all. I couldn't dwell on it much, though because he was absolutely right. It _was_ troubling to learn that this anonymous idiot actually had a backing of loyal followers. "Well it makes a little sense, you have to admit. Father has enemies everywhere."

"All great leaders do."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. The hero worship needed to stop. "Whatever it is, I can only hope I'm not getting bad press at home. I trust Father and Mother to take care of that." And I did. I needed to believe they'd come through for me. By the time I came back, I hoped that at least half of Eternia respected me enough to keep me as a leader.

For a few moments, he didn't say anything to that, choosing to go silent. Then, "Do you really want this?"

"Want what?"

"To lead Eternia."

Puzzled, I gripped the wooden railing of the bridge with both hands. "That's not even a question. I was born for this." _And bred for it too._

"It's not the question of being born into it."

I didn't want to answer him, mostly because I didn't think I had the luxury to say that I didn't want to be a leader. Father had groomed me to do this. Countless lessons on diplomacy, how to deal with politicians, learning the sword along with each royal or political family. How to dress, how to eat, how to be a leader. To say I didn't want to do it would be a disservice. At any point, whether or not I wanted to be one was irrelevant. Eternia needed guidance from somebody who had seen and sympathized with the rest of Luxendarc. There weren't that many Eternians who could say they were the same, preferring to stay within their safe cocoon of white magic. A slow sad smile spread on my face. Did I want this? Some part of me really didn't think I could handle the pressure. But this was one of the few things I knew how to do, and I felt like I was the only person who could save Eternia from reverting into a nation that the rest of Luxendarc didn't trust. "If you had a chance to change the person who you were before so that you could change the life you lead today, Alternis, would you?"

I watched him contemplate that question for one long moment, and I swear in that moment my heart broke a little watching him contemplate it seriously. An honest answer came through his lips so quiet and subtle but it was exactly how I would have answered it.

"I don't know."

* * *

"Are you sure about this, dear?" the Matriarch asked, her fleshy face looking worried. "You know I don't hold much over my people."

The Matriarch's chambers were heavy in some sort of flowery scent. "I'm going to try to change that. With the Bloodrose Legion gone, it should slowly change the girl's attitudes, at any rate. I just want to know if you're on board with sending three representatives to Grandship."

Out of all the leaders in Luxendarc, I had to admit I liked the Matriarch the least. My father, the King of Caldisla, Dominus Harena and Daniel Goodman were all examples of leaders who ruled their kingdoms with the kind of power that their nations called for. They understood their nations so well that people respected them. The Matriarch was not an example of this. She let people do whatever they wanted and was not a proactive leader, preferring others to do her bidding for her. I could barely contain my disgust the last time I was here. If Agnès, Tiz, Ringabel and I hadn't been here to get rid of the Bloodrose Legion, I know she would've let this all continue on. I couldn't respect her for this reason.

For this reason too, I knew that the Matriarch would be on board with anything I did. Controlling her wouldn't be a problem, but her people was a different story. So I wasn't surprised when she immediately said, "I am completely in love with this United Nations of Luxendarc idea you have here but I do not know which representatives I should pick..."

_Of course, that'll also be my job too, right?_ I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and instead plastered a smile on my face. "Leave that up to me." _Leave all of Florem up to me since you're basically useless, old hag._ I felt a tiny bit guilty for thinking that but not enough to go back on what I thought. I wasn't Agnès or Tiz or Ringabel who sympathized with a person who could not lead effectively. I had to wonder how she'd even gotten her position in the first place.

The Matriarch gave me a tremulous smile. "I don't know what I would do without you, my dear."

Privately, I agreed but aloud I said, "So I've heard reports that you've found a new vestaling for the Water Crystal. Agnès has been dying to take a look. Are you sure she is suitable?"

The Matriarch nodded. "Yes, quite."

Once again, I had to wonder how the Matriarch was so certain. Noticing my puzzled face, she said, "The truth is, I have a very good suspicion because Olivia kept in contact with this girl's family even while she was hiding. It seems strange she would do such a thing, putting her life at risk just to exchange a few words. The child's mother is dead, I'm afraid."

"Dead?"

The Matriarch favored me a small, sympathetic smile. "Well, as you know, all of the women of Florem lack a father. All girls here don't know who their fathers are since men cannot permanently reside here and often are already married or in a relationship. Since Floremese women do not care for men to be around in the relationship, and oftentimes men who visit Florem are looking for a fun night, so to speak, having a father is out of the question."

My heart twisted. I thought about Alternis, young and starving, abandoned in the sewers of Florem. He didn't even have a mother.

The Matriarch continued. "That leaves just the mother then. I'm afraid this mother was brutally killed shortly before you and your party first arrived."

A sudden chill ran down my spine. "What do you mean?"

"The girl managed to run away, but the mother died. An autopsy revealed strong black magic - and lots of it too. It's suspected that the mother was tortured for a good long while before succumbing to death. This was probably how the child managed to escape; if her killer had simply just done away with the mother, not tortured her at all, she wouldn't have had the time to slip out. Of course, we do know that evil DeRosa held a Red Mage asterisk. It was probably him."

I wasn't so certain. That wasn't DeRosa's style. To be sure, he was repulsive, but his style was to date rape women. I didn't have my memories of the time he'd used his fragrance on me thankfully, but I shudder to know what exactly he did to me. It wasn't something I liked to think about, or really even had time to think about, even. I did know that when Ringabel had woken me up from Charm, I'd found a trail of hickeys down my neck, and my bikini looked like it had been tampered with - he must have been in the process of doing Crystals knows what, before Tiz and the others found him out.

It was one of the few times I'd seen Ringabel seriously angry. It was also the first time I thought I might actually like Ringabel for being angry on my behalf. Before that, I'd thought he was almost like DeRosa with his lecherous ways. But Ringabel was ten times the man that DeRosa would ever be.

I hated thinking about DeRosa. Mostly because I didn't know what exactly he'd done to me. I never thought I'd be in that kind of position where I'd be subjected to sex against my will. I also hated thinking that my father recruited that vile man. I knew that Father probably never knew DeRosa's horrible ways when he recruited him, but it still repulsed me to think that Father had been his employer. I resented him for that reason, knowing that it was misplaced.

But back to the mother who had been killed - if it _was_ DeRosa, I suspect he wasn't capable of using that much black magic. Red Mages couldn't use the most powerful black or white magic. The autopsy would have also shown signs of rape.

No, this had been the work of Victoria. She was the kind of person who played with her food, a sadist on all counts. I pressed the palm of my hand to my face. The repercussions of Eternia's rule was everywhere. I had witnessed it so many times before, with Caldisla, Ancheim, Florem and Eisenberg. My heart twisted. I knew that Father was only trying to help and his intentions were pure, but the people he had recruited had always been corrupt. Hearing it in detail what Victoria did... I felt pressure build up inside me, panic bubbling and reaching its peak. I heard her girlish giggle slice into my ears, pulling and pushing and worming into my head.

I thought back to what Alternis said.

_"I don't know_."

How could I fight for a country I wasn't sure I loved anymore?

I didn't know.

* * *

**Not the best way to end this, I know, but I really felt like I needed to upload this before I got any more second ideas. I didn't get to cover nearly as much as I wanted in this chapter information-wise, but I suppose there's always room next chapter. Next chapter, we'll see more of Florem, scout's honor! Do you think Edea's second thoughts are justified? And what's up with Tiz? Will we ever understand Alternis, or will he always be that mysterious, angry dude we all love?**

**Any follows/favs/reviews/mentions/etc. are greatly appreciated! Til next time!**


	12. The Makeup Artist

**Wow, I've been MIA from this account, let alone this story, for more than a month! As Agnés would say... "Unacceptable!"**

**And now, for my anonymous reviews:**

**Irien** \- **Thank you so much for your lovely words! I'm honestly flattered, because this first just started off as a personal project, and I didn't think a lot of people would get attracted to it as much as I enjoyed reading it. So thanks for the wishes and for being so patient!**

**Yuzu** \- **Thank you very much for your encouraging words. You're too kind!**

**Smokey**** \- Thank you for the review! Glad to hear this story caught your attention. As for Victoria and Victor... Yes, I loved them very much too and I thought their story was rather tragic. As for Victoria's motivations for how the parents were killed... well, all I can say is read on and you'll see haha. As for Jackal, oh man, I feel I must apologize. His name _will_ come up a few times I promise, but as of now he's not meant to be an important character.**

**A friend o****r**** guest \- Wow, haha, I won't address all your reviews but thank you for taking the time out to leave a few words. You're amazing!**

**And without further ado, here we go!**

* * *

"For the last time, Edea, _no_," Agnès stated flatly.

I slumped my shoulders and shot her a wounded look.

"You will not guilt me with your puppy-dog look," she said, though she sounded slightly amused now.

I'd known what the answer was before I'd even asked; Agnès would have said no even if I'd flattered her and bribed her a thousand times to enter the beauty contest. We were sitting in a quiet little cafe away from the festival set up. I'd taken to wearing my hair up and a hat to make it less apparent I was Eternian here; the men visiting Florem were anxious to woo the next possible future of Eternia no matter how bad they'd heard her temper was.

I'd heard rumors about myself in this way, and quickly learned that in everybody's eyes I had a short temper. "...Heard she attacked a woman in Ancheim from Youssef over there. Yeah, his friend's cousin visited that tea shop and the owner told him all about it."

"Woah! Really? What's the story there?"

"Don't actually know. Some say she was jealous over the woman's beauty."

"Ha! Seems like a motive; women can be fickle when it comes to beauty."

"But I also heard she was fighting for a man's affections."

"What? So a man's already gotten sweet on her eyes?"

_Hardly_, I'd thought, resisting the urge give them an ultimate wedgie.

"Shame, considering I was thinking about having her to myself."

"Yeah, it's a lovely bonus to share that Eternian ruler title, though I'm not sure if I've got time to tame a wildcat such as herself"

"I'll drink to that!"

It was humiliating to hear these sort of comments without ripping their heads off, but I had to put up with it. I wasn't sure for how long I could go partially disguised though; I knew I needed the women of Florem to know who I was. But at this very moment, drinking tea with Agnès was something I needed to relax. I needed to keep my sanity before the end of this trip, and I wouldn't be able to do it if I was constantly around those gossipmongering men. Who knew that in Florem, it was actually the _men_ who gossiped more than the women?

Agnès drummed her fingers on the table, taking a tiny nibble off her powdered croissant. The tip of her nose was slightly powdered by the time she withdrew the croissant from her mouth. I smiled at how silly and cute she looked, before reaching over to wipe it off with a napkin. She looked surprised at my actions, and then laughed.

A moment like this was what I needed. I took a sip of my extra sweetened hot cocoa, savoring the way the hot liquid carved a hot path down my insides. While I basked in the warmth, I closed my eyes. "There was something you had to tell me at Yulyana's house, before he opened the door, wasn't there?" When I opened my eyes, I regretted what I said. The cheer from Agnès's eyes was gone, replaced by incredible uncomfortableness. I added, "Uh, well, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

Months ago, I would have demanded an answer or somehow wheedled it out of her. New Edea didn't want to be the cause of her anxiety.

"I... Well it's not that I don't _want_ to tell you. I do. It's just that right now, I don't know if I can."

I nodded once, and reached my hand out to grip hers. "I know. But whatever it is, Agnès, you ought to know that I'll never stop being your friend."

She squeezed my hand back. "I know."

It was a strange relationship we were navigating, I thought as I sipped the rest of my cocoa, but surprisingly the ties I had with her were the easiest to maintain. If only it were the same with Alternis. We were both Eternian, both Anti-Crystalist, yet we were always arguing. Agnès and I were the born on the opposite ends of Luxendarc; she was the very face and leader of Crystalism now, and I was the very face of Anti-Crystalism, now that I was doing Father's bidding.

Although lately, Alternis and I seemed to be in a state of limbo; after he'd answered that he wasn't sure if he could change his fate if he could, I hardly saw him which was _not_ what I wanted. The Sage had told me to keep an eye out for him._  
_

The trouble was that Alternis was a little too good at not wanting to be found and between all my meetings with the essentially useless Matriarch, her attendings and Agnès who had met with the child already and was in the process of deeming her worthy as a vestaling, I didn't have enough time to look for him. Naturally, I was so used to his presence when he was around me, that I could always tell when he was guarding me; but in Florem he wasn't guarding me at all which meant he was up to something else here. Perhaps he was playing the role of Ringabel a bit _too_ well and was cavorting with the women here but I couldn't know for sure. All I knew was that it drove me crazy not knowing where he was.

Agnès had suggested the obvious solution. "You should ask - and _ask_, Edea, not command like you usually do - him to guard you."

But that would mean telling him I needed protection. I did _not_ need protection and my pride would never let him know in any circumstances that I needed him even though the real purpose of asking him to stay by my side was to keep an eye on _him_.

Marshaling my thoughts away from him, I noticed a lot of women looking our way. "I think it's time to go," I said in a low voice.

Agnès sighed, a weary look taking over her face. "Who cares if they know we're here? Edea, you hiding is ridiculous. Months ago, you would've never done this." She paused for a moment, before adding, "I know I might've, but not you."

I pursed my lips; she did have a point. Months ago, the old Edea would have stared them down and asked what their problem was. New Edea was being more cautious. Still, the sooner I confronted those around me, the better. I shouldn't act like I had anything to hide. I had to hold my head up high, no matter what I thought about myself.

I still hadn't found my answer with Alternis yet - what exactly did I want to do? Was I born to lead Eternia, after all? It seemed like each day, the answer became more muddled. I shoved my chair back and stood, but before I could make a step out, a woman blocked my way. She had long, flowing locks of purple hair and her large eyes were a vivid shade of blue. Mine looked totally washed out by comparison. She was lovely, very lovely.

"You're Edea Lee?" she asked dubiously.

"Uh, yeah. Whose asking?" I responded nervously. My hand traveled down to my hilt attached to my hip. It was difficult to judge the attitude Floremese women had on Eternians, so I kept myself prepared at all times. I was determined not to do a repeat of the Durrah situation, but that didn't mean I couldn't arm myself.

Her lips pouted into a frown. "I heard you were entering the beauty contest for the Spring Festival."

My face grew hot. I felt my brows contort into an angry frown. I wasn't sure how she'd gotten that information, or how it had spread. My first reaction to that leaking of the information was to get angry. I'd have some choice words with my crew. But then I realized that the information would've gotten out anyway. I slumped my shoulders. "Is that so? What? Do you think I don't have what it takes?"

She stroked her chin, eyeing me thoughtfully. "The men I was just with got a glimpse of you and made a bet with me. They told me I couldn't even get you to the top ten."

"Oh yeah?! They think _I'm_ ugly? I'll give 'em ugly!" I growled. I gripped the handle of my sword so tightly, my knuckles turned white.

"Edea, do not be so harsh," Agnès said gently, placing a hand on my shoulder. Turning towards the woman she said, "I'm afraid I must apologize. You already seem to know who Edea Lee is. I am Agnès Oblige, the Wind Vestal from Ancheim. Unfortunately, I do not know who you are, but I would be delighted to know."

The girl flipped her hair, turning to Agnès. I saw her eyes appraising Agnès quickly with an expert artist's eye. Then she said, "Of course, I think I'd have better luck with you. Your skin's got a healthy, glowing tan and your hair seems to be a lot more manageable. You've also got the right curves. _You_ could be my client. Are you interested?"

Agnès blushed slightly at her words. "Thank you for your kind words but I must decline. However, your name...?"

Her face brightened, as if she'd forgotten that we hadn't introduced properly. "Oh! Right, I forgot! I'm Rose Fontaine. I run one of Florem's most well established salons. We do hair styling, make up, primping, grooming, and even dressing up! Perhaps you've heard of it? The Fontaine Salon?"

Agnès and I exchanged looks. We hadn't. "No," I said bluntly.

Rose's face went scarlet but even in her obvious embarrassment she was still really quite enchanting. "Well, perhaps you were too busy."

Maybe Agnès and Tiz were, but Ringabel and I had roamed the streets of Florem and spoken to the locals for information on what was in fashion in Florem. Most locals had directed us to two salons which had confirmed the killings of the fairies and Orochi for the clips and dyes. "I only visited two salons the last time I was here," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "Eriel's Blue Ceiling Salon and the Little Red Lipstick."

Rose's face darkened. "Eriel? Seriously? And Little Red Lipstick? Who was your salonist there?"

I swallowed nervously. "I don't remember," I lied. Yvette.

"It better have not been Yvette. That woman'll do anything for an extra buck." Rose rolled her eyes. She crossed her arms and faced me. It was startling to see her go from scrutinizing us, to bright and friendly, to business-like. I had a feeling she changed moods frequently. "Listen here, Lee. I'm not lying when I say I lead one of the best beauty salon teams. True, lately business hasn't been picking up thanks to that ridiculous fairy wing clip and dye obsession that I refused to take part in, but the fad's already started to die down so I'll be getting busy sooner. Let me tell you something; I don't normally offer to do makeups and hair and costume for free. But you have something I want and I'm sure I also have something _you_ want."

I folded my arms. She'd impressed me already when she said she refused to partake in the fairy wing clips and the dye coming from the Orochi, but I still wanted to know more about who she was. "And that is?" I challenged.

"Word on the street is that you want to win that contest bad and I figure I know why. You think you can win Florem's people over if you're the Spring Festival princess. You'd be right." I opened my mouth to protest, but she cut me off. "Don't think I'm stupid. I can tell you and I aren't much different."

"What's in it for you?"

"Aside from the wad of cash I'll get for making you get into the top ten - the men really don't think you can make it compared to the other dames here - I'll get a lot of publicity. Simply put, if the women of Florem see that I can do the impossible, which is to make you win, they'll come flocking to my salon."

"Do not be so crass," Agnès said, sounding irritable. "Edea does not have an impossible shot at winning the beauty contest. She is a pretty, classy young woman." I almost snorted at her response.

"When I'm done with her, the odds will be in her favor," Rose argued.

I was touched that Agnès said that, but I also knew Rose had a point. If I was going to compete in the contest, I needed a professional team. The question was whether or not Rose had the skill. I stared at her face; she certainly was very attractive. "I'll agree on a few conditions."

Rose's face relaxed; she knew I was buckling down. "And those are?"

"One is that you show me your work first, and if I like what I see, I'll agree."

"Fair enough."

"Secondly, I want to know if the makeup, hair, and appearance in general is your own work."

"Oh, yes, it is. I had a little bit of silicone implanted into my lips, but other than that..."

"Thirdly, I would like to see you without make up."

Rose blanched and flushed a deeper scarlet. "Are you joking?" She sounded like I said something very offensive.

"What?" I challenged.

Rose narrowed her eyes at me. She took a deep, breath that sounded like she was royally pissed off. "Excuse me, Lee. Perhaps you're not familiar with our customs here. Only our most loved ones can see us without our make up. Like our lifelong mates and that too, it's not very common."

So it was kind of like seeing a person naked, only more sacred. I thought about it for half a second before realizing I didn't care. "It's clear to me that you take pride in your work. I see the make up on your face and I want to know the skill you put into it. I'm sure I'll see it on your other clients. But I want to see the before and after on _you_. It's clear to me that you use your best work on yourself."

Rose opened her mouth, then shut it. She looked like she was struggling against herself for a long time. Finally, her cheeks still flaming, she dipped her head in confirmation. "Alright. Fine. But I'll have to draw up the blinds, and I'll let you have a look after salon hours. If you mention what you saw to _any_body, I will make you pay."

"I won't tell anybody about it," I promised, a little stunned it worked.

"Good. Oh, and Edea?" She didn't wait for me to acknowledge her. "I think it would do you well to be a little more sensitive to Florem's customs otherwise you'll win nobody's approval ratings here." Her voice, while mildly polite, bordered on frosty. Had I made an enemy in the process?

I gulped. "Noted. Sorry," I muttered.

* * *

After agreeing to show up at the Fontaine Salon that very night, Agnès and I decided to part paths. She needed to examine the next vestaling and had asked me to come along but I declined. Although I was very interested in seeing the girl properly for the first time, I wasn't sure I was ready to face her yet. I hadn't told Agnès yet about my suspicions that Victoria had killed her parents._  
_

Of course, we'd never really know _who_ killed her parents, but I was more than certain it had been Victoria. My first instinct was that she knew that the girl was being most seriously considered by Olivia as a vestaling. If the Matriarch had known, then it wouldn't be that hard to obtain the information. But Victoria tended to play with her victims if she held a personal grudge. Unfortunately, that narrowed down to precisely... nothing. Victoria was petty, and often was jealous over those who were happy. I thought back to the time when Victoria had nearly killed me just because I disobeyed Father's orders. I'd always considered her a tragic story because she _was_. But at the same time, I couldn't excuse her actions.

I spent the rest of my afternoon roaming the streets of Florem and taking in the sights, my mind going back and forth between Victoria and the city itself. The city was, as always, very beautiful with its numerous fountains and its dreamy, soft-featured buildings. But the city was also a lot more crowded than normal, which I attributed to the fact that the festival was nearly about to start. I had to watch my step to make sure I didn't bump into anyone. Femininity breathed in every corner. Despite the fact that Florem had its own flaws, I felt almost content just taking in the sights. I almost wished I had somebody to share the sights with. Somebody like Alternis.

I frowned. That was absurd. I couldn't see Alternis appreciating beauty. Well, perhaps he _could_. I'd seen his sketches in his journals after all, and he had a keen eye for detail. I just never really saw him as a person who stopped to take in the ambiance; he always was the kind of guy who stayed focus on the task at hand. The fact that he'd come with _me_ to just roam the city at leisure was probably never going to happen._  
_

Unaware of where I was going, a woman accidentally shoved me into an ice cream shop. It wasn't the worst place to fall into, I supposed. I hadn't had ice cream in a long time, but I was still annoyed that somebody had shoved me hard enough to reel into the shop into the first place. "Watch where you're going!" I yelled at the woman, but the door had already shut, making my admonishment futile.

But somebody _did_ hear me. "Ah, that annoying voice. I'd hoped I'd never have to hear it again." The voice was musical yet surly.

I whirled around to face a pretty girl with curly, windblown, blonde hair. She stood nearly a foot taller than me. "Praline?" I blinked. "What are you doing here?" I said, without thinking. What were the odds that I'd run into _her_ of all people?

She narrowed her cornflower blue eyes at me. "I don't like that mean tone you're using on me! As it happens, I _do_ live here." She crossed her arms, and for the first time I got a glimpse of the dress she was wearing. Before, her dress had hugged at her waist comfortably. I assumed that this was because she needed to breathe deeply to sing. But now the corset hugged at her tightly and her waist seemed tiny in comparison to the rest of her body.

"Apologies," I said, still a little startled. "I'd forgotten this was your homeland." It wasn't that Praline was ugly - on the contrary I'd always thought her glamorous if not ostentatiously dressed. But by Florem standards, her image was a little on the plain side which was odd because her voice most certainly wasn't.

Praline flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder. "Yes, well I do live here again unfortunately, thanks to you. And now it seems I must always be harangued by my past," she added dramatically. I was about to roll my eyes at her dramatic language when she said, "First that Ringabel boy and now you!"

"Ringabel?" I asked, my heart thumping. That had to be Alternis. I started paying more more attention. "What do you mean you bumped into him?" I'd spent the last few days trying to track him, yet all Praline had to do was stumble into him.

Praline eyed me curiously. "I saw him going into one of those beauty salons," she huffed. "He looked a little dirty, now that I think about it. And he stank real bad."

I pressed my lips together tightly. What did that mean? "Which salon was it?"

Praline shrugged. "There are hundreds in Florem, so I'm not sure which one it was. It was by the weaponry shop though." Her eyes were looking upward as though trying to place it. She shrugged. "Anyway, he seemed super busy. He couldn't even say hello! It was very rude."

Now _that_ struck me as strange. Alternis would definitely have recognized Praline. She was a prominent member of the Black Blades after all, and I knew Alternis had kept in contact with Master Kamiizumi regularly. Father had also told me that Alternis had kept in contact with all the forces spread throughout Luxendarc, although his main priorities were in Caldisla.

If Alternis hadn't recognized Praline, something else was definitely taking over his mind. I frowned. I knew I needed answers, and there were only a few places I could search for them.

* * *

_Dear Father,_

_As you have probably heard from Mother, I have successfully gotten Ancheim's approval. Our alliance is still somewhat weary, but with the conception of the United Nations of Luxendarc, I hope our alliance grows ever stronger and a more quicker fashion. I know you must be busy ruling Eternia which is why I have not written to you, but I confess I miss your presence._

_The crew you have assembled for me has been behaving spectacularly so far, and Agnés is proving to be one of my greatest allies. With her alongside me, we are slowly turning the world back in balance. The search for the next vestals are also underway. Agnés has in fact seemed to have found her next vestaling in Florem. I have not had a chance to meet the girl, but I am told her parents were murdered. Traces of the scene show that it was most likely Victoria which saddens me greatly._

_As always, Alternis Dim is a very dutiful guard. I thought he would never perform as admirably as he is now in Florem of all places. I never got to ask, but his story here seems so tragic. I was wondering if you knew any details when you found him here?_

_Please let me know if my work for you thus far is sufficient. The last thing I'd want for you is to be disappointed in me._

_Edea_

_P.S: If you know anything that might be helpful about this "Blood of the People" or Krov, that Mother keeps mentioning, I would be delighted to hear it, as I feel keeping up with any news about him may give me some preparation to going against him._

* * *

**Edea contacting her father? That's a first... If it didn't come off as earlier, I always kind of pictured Edea as the type of girl who thinks she's always bothering her Father when she seeks him out and only tries to get his attention by being perfect or being extraordinary which is why she's never sent him any letters. This wouldn't exactly be a first for her, but it definitely is a rare thing for her to do.**

**How long has it been since I've been here?! Too long, I'd say. Well, as you know, I was doing NaNo (And didn't get to finish... I was off by 10,000 words or so!) and then after that I had a slew of exams to finish, lol. Tomorrow's my last one, so I thought I'd get this chapter in before I got too complacent with this fic. Besides that, I've been showering my other account some much needed attention (I probably forgot to mention this, but this isn't my main account, huehuehue...)**_  
_

**Thank you once again to all my dear reviewers (So many reviews while I was gone! Looks like this might become my main account lol), and as usual, I appreciate any attention you send my way because I'm an attention whore lol. **


	13. Behind the Mask

**As an apology from me since it took me forever to update the last time, here's the new chapter _much_ much sooner than I'd thought. But God, I'm super nervous about posting this up because it's really, really dark. There's a definite tonal shift here. I apologize if things get too dark. I'm still trying to make this within the T-rating, so it hopefully won't get _too_ dark.**

**PLEASE NOTE THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS DISTURBING MATERIAL. I'm posting a trigger warning here as there is a RAPE ATTEMPT. If you are uncomfortable or any sort of rape scene is extremely triggering towards you, I will bold the first sentence where it begins, and bold the last sentence where it ends so that you know where to skip it. I promise you won't miss out on too much that you can get from the rest of the chapter. However, whatever you see here will not cross the T age (Probably will toe it, though), except for maybe language.**

**And now, for my anonymous reviews:**

**Enzo** \- **Oh yeah, I have an AO3 account too that I hardly ever update though I probably should. It's just, I kind of want to do it slowly there so that I don't post all the chapters at once and have people get overwhelmed haha. Though, I think that account will probably have the full story because of the restrictions on this site in terms of sex. As for Praline seeing Alternis going into a beauty salon... ah, well it'd be interesting to see, eh? I think we'll get our answer the next chapter (not this one). Thanks for your review! I sincerely appreciate it.**

**A** **friend**** -** **For what prompted me to write it... well, I kind of felt like the ending was, like you said kind of open-ended. There was still so much left that it sort of felt like Bravely Default ended on a beginning. By beginnings I mean; Agnès must essentially rebuild the Crystal Orthodoxy by herself, Edea's declarations towards the end, and Tiz had to go back to rebuild Norende, and Ringabel went back home. There's a lot of rebuilding there and I wanted to write a story about what comes after major events and wars and how the real damage comes afterward. There was also the fact that although I loved the characterizations of all the games, I felt like the world-building was a little lacking, and I wanted to explore each region a little more. I started writing it before I heard any news about Bravely Second (Aside from the trailer in-game) so it'll probably not be canon at all to the series, haha. But I think your thoughts also encapsulate this as well, life kind of just goes on and the adventure never ends. As for the slow pace of the story; yeah you're right about that. I tend to write stories that are more character-driven than plot-based nowadays so that's probably why the pacing is slow ^^; also, I'm not sure if you've noticed this but each region will have it's own story. For Ancheim it was Edea figuring out how to unite the nations, for Florem, you'll see what that is. Caldisla will focus on Tiz, and I can't spoil too much of Eisen... but I'm sure you know that Eternia will be the end and it'll be about the whole Krov business as well as whether or not Edea ought to make the decision on the throne. Towards the end, Praline is talking about Alternis, definitely not Ringabel, ahaha. Hopefully updates this month will be a lot quicker because I have a lot of time on my hands, but thank you for your kind words and for the review, friend!**

**And without further ado, here we go!**

* * *

It had thirty minutes until I met Rose, so I donned my Theif costume to steal off for the night. Ever since I stopped trying to keep my face and demeanor covered, I'd had a lot of offers from men who wished to court me. It was getting annoying and to get from point A to B took at least twenty minutes longer than usual because I was stopped a lot by men. It rankled me to think that all these men had a shot to the Eternian throne. Ha! As if.

My only comfort was that I wasn't alone in this. Men also flocked to Agnès as well, though not as much as they did me. I think it was because she was a religious figurehead, and they thought they had zero chance with a pure woman. Agnès had explained to me a few weeks ago about one detail of being a vestal. "It's very rare that vestals marry. Most end up being virginal for life simply because their duties call for lavishing their attention on the Crystals first and foremost but there have been times over the years that vestals have met a certain someone who has made their life more whole. However, because vestals hardly choose romance most people believe that we must remain virginal for the rest of our lives."

"Oh, that's cool," I said at the time. "So does that mean you still have a shot with Tiz?"

"Edea!" She went a deep red, and then glanced around quickly as if Tiz, who was all the way in Norende, could hear me. "Not so loud," she stammered. "I don't know what you're talking about, in any case."

"Of course not," I said, trying not to smile. But after that conversation, I'd noticed Agnès take full advantage of the fact that people thought vestals had to remain virgins. It didn't stop the men from looking though, and look they did. They gave long, lingering glances toward her filled with lust and it made me uncomfortable to no end.

I supposed Agnès was the kind of woman that every man wanted to have; she had a pure, almost naïve mind when it came to sexual affairs and a beautiful face, but her body was almost sinful in the way it was curvy. She had no idea about the kind of beauty she possessed and when somebody called it to her attention, she blushed and became embarrassed by it. She was the fantasy that every man wanted. In a sense, I was kind of jealous of her.

I knew it was wrong, but sometimes I tried to compare myself to her and I came up woefully short. My face was probably cute at best if it wasn't scowling all the time thanks to my need to look tough, and I hardly had any breasts. There was nothing "soft" about my body after years and years of relentless training. I was bold, too bold to be a woman. There was nothing demure about me. I supposed the only man who'd want me was a man who was willing to be controlled, but that wasn't the kind of man I was looking for either.

But the way I was still didn't stop the men here from crowding me. It was starting to get annoying, which was why I'd worn my Theif costume. I hadn't applied the asterisk on because I didn't want somebody here to spot weapons on me and think I was going psycho; my fists would be enough anyway.

I stole down one of the streets. I'd gotten directions to the Fontaine Salon a few hours ago, but in dim lighting it was harder to figure out where I was. After a few minutes of thinking, I figured I'd gone the opposite way I was supposed to and cursed aloud. Ten minutes had passed. I needed to be there in another twenty minutes and I _hated_ being late. My sense of direction was starting to rival Agnès's right now. I walked up to a girl who had long golden locks tumbling down her back. She was flirting with two men, judging by the way she kept tossing her hair out and the way she stood straight so that her boobs popped out a little more. The men were totally eating it up. I rolled my eyes. When I was young, I'd always wanted to visit Florem but the women here were almost disgusting.

I forced a smile on my face and strode over to the girl. "Excuse me," I said politely. The girl paid no attention to me, but the two men immediately noticed.

"You're that girl of Eternia!"

They sounded so dumb. "Yes," I said, making my voice as saccharine as possible. "I'm that girl of Eternia."

Forced to finally acknowledge me, the girl turned towards me. "_What_?" she asked and there was so much attitude thrown into that one word that I nearly took a step backward.

"Sorry to bother you-"

"No bothering at all!" the other man said. I fought the urge to just walk away. "What can we do for you?"

"I was looking for the Fontaine Salon. Perhaps you've heard of it?"

The girl laughed, her voice shrill. "_Fontaine_ Salon?" She gave me a once over that suggested she didn't like what she saw. "You'll need a little more help than _that_ place. Your lips are too thin, and your eyes are _totally_ washed out. I suggest making them a little more purple and getting a little silicone implanted in those lips. Your hair needs to be a little darker, it's too light for your skin which could also do with a bit of a tan. Besides, Rose is such a bitch anyway."

"Um, thanks," I said, unsure if I meant it. I suddenly wished the earth would swallow me. "But I need to get to Fontaine Salon."

"Well you're obviously going the wrong way. It's over on Freesia Avenue which is about six or seven blocks away."

"Freesia Avenue?" one of the men said. "I think I've been there before, haven't we, Ivan?"

"Uh, yeah." He stole a look at me. "We could take you there if you want."

The last thing I wanted was for these buffoons to walk me there, but I only had fifteen minutes to reach Rose. If they made a move on me, I think I could take them out. I said, "Only if you can get me there in fifteen minutes."

"We sure can," the first man said. "You comin', babe?" he turned to look at the girl who looked thoroughly annoyed that I'd taken her dates for the night.

"Yeah right. I need a man who won't abandon me at the first ugly thing he sees," she said, glaring at me.

I bristled at that. "How generous," I murmured sarcastically.

We walked down the streets, each man on either side. "So, how are you liking Florem so far?" asked Ivan. "Definitely a city of love, eh? Beats Eisen, where we're from anyway." He meant to nudge me subtly, perhaps as a flirtatious move, but it felt like he elbowed me instead.

I shrugged. When I'd traveled this place with Ringabel, I certainly thought so. The ambience and overall atmosphere of the way the place was built certainly contributed. Now that I was back and with the abundance of men here, this place looked more like a trussed up version of the red light district in Eternia and it saddened me. For a place that was strictly matriarchal, it seemed like now Florem was now more about pleasuring men. While I was trying to keep an open mind, I only wished that the festival was about appreciating women in general, rather than outward beauty. Everything here was so materialistic, that even I had trouble keeping up. I hated to admit it, but I almost preferred Ancheim to this, though I wouldn't say it aloud.

The first man suddenly stopped in front of a narrow, dimly lit alley. "I think this is a shortcut."

Ivan nodded. "Uh yeah. A shortcut."

Dubiously, I eyed it. It was dark with a few trashcans. The place screamed dodgy. The only light sources there were from lights on the main street. "I think I'll pass."

**The first man grabbed my arm.** "Aw, come on. Didn't you say you wanted to get there on time?"

"Let go of me," I wrenched my arm from him, but the second guy grabbed my other arm too. His grip was far more tighter. It suddenly dawned on me how stupid I was for coming here and suddenly I wished that stuck up girl with the blonde hair had come along. Panic was starting to constrict my throat, and I wasn't sure why. They were just two stupid guys. I'd dealt with so many other boys in Kamiizumi's dojo. I couldn't understand why my pulse was racing the way it was.

"Easily spooked, aren't you?" Ivan said, who'd resumed his grip on me. He started to drag me towards the alley. "Always wanted to know how it'd feel to fuck a princess, didn't you, Vlad?"

"I'm not a princess," I said, raising my voice, hoping somebody would hear. "Let go of me, or I'll scream!" My brain was useless. All of a sudden, I wasn't Edea, Master Kamiizumi's protégé, and all around tough girl. I was just another squirming girl, who would probably get raped. I wasn't even sure what to expect. My heel snagged into the dirt as they dragged me and I dug into the ground suddenly.

"Scream?" one of the men - Vlad, maybe - said. "Oh babe, you don't know how Florem works. You ought to take this as a compliment. All women here do. Just means you're too pretty to resist."

I opened my mouth to scream but my throat had closed up so tightly, I couldn't get a sound out.

The worst part was I knew that once it was over, the thing that would bother me the most was that I didn't attack them back, that I was weak. I'd always prided myself on being strong.

No. I couldn't let that happen. I had to find a way out of this shaking madness within me.

I closed my eyes tightly, and tried to calm down by taking deeper breaths. It helped a little, just enough for me to wrench my hand out of one of the men's grasps. I tried not to think, but just _do_ what came naturally. I fisted one of my hands into a fist and swung upward, hoping it connected somewhere. It struck the chest of Ivan, and I heard the hiss of that man's breath as I literally knocked the wind out of him. I heard him stumble backward, but there was no time to check to see what he was up. I turned to Vlad who attempted to grab me. I dodged, and grabbed his arm and with all the strength I had, I quickly pulled him down. I watched them both for a moment, stunned that I'd actually managed to disarm them both. It had to be luck.

My heart was beating wildly, but I pretended not to care. I couldn't care, because if I cared right now, I knew I'd lose all my bravado. "If you think I'm going to forget this incident, you're wrong. Florem will know what you've done."

**Vlad wheezed out a laugh, looking up at me from the floor.** "You think Florem cares? There's no laws about this kind of stuff here. That's what makes it so damn great." I stamped on his back, forcing him to shut up. I brought my foot down again and again until I saw blood pooling out from underneath his face.

"I hope there's no law against that, but even if there was, it wouldn't prevent me from killing you," I said, but it had none of the punch that I desired. I was shaking all over. I knew I couldn't hold back anymore. I walked out of the other side of the alley and as soon as the soft lights of the city were brighter I squatted, wrapping my arms around my knees and tucking my head inward. I started to rock back and forth, unaware of my surroundings, just that there were people and I'd never been happier of that.

A few minutes later, I allowed myself to cry. Around me, women walked and though there were so many people I'd never felt so alone. After a few minutes, I stood up and started searching for the Fontaine Salon, wondering why I even bothered to come here. This kingdom was obviously damaged beyond repair. Tears still streaming down my face, I somehow managed to locate the Fontaine Salon. Despite what those horrible men did, they'd been right; that alley _was_ a shortcut.

I no longer wanted to go inside and I almost didn't, but at the last second, I wiped my face, noting that the skin on my knuckles had been split open and that my thief costume was covered in dirt. Well, no matter. I just hoped that my punches had hurt those men more than it did myself.

The shop sign said closed, but Rose had said if I knocked, she'd let me in so I did. As I waited, I slumped against the wall beside the door feeling dirty and exhausted and weary. All I wanted to do was to go home. I'd seen enough violence for several lifetimes. What was I still doing here? Why couldn't Father have sent Alternis to do this job?

A faint tinkle announced the doors opening and I saw Rose peer out expectantly, before spotting my silhouette. "You're late," she began to say but then she took a closer look at me and frowned. "Did you fall?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but nothing came out. Rose took my hand and I flinched away from her. She put her arms up in a surrendering gesture. "Get inside," she commanded. "You look like a mess."

I hesitated for a moment before I walked inside slowly. She closed the door behind her and locked it before peering at me in the harsh salon light. Now that I was in bright light, she could see me better and judging by the reaction on her face, I knew I looked like hell. "What happened?"

"Nothing," I said. If I denied it, maybe it didn't happen. Except my fingers were still shaking.

Rose crossed her arms. "Edea," she said sternly.

"Two men a-attempted to rape me. But I managed to get away before they could do anything."

Rose's face relaxed slightly. "So you got away then?" She turned away from me, grabbing a towel. She turned the sink on and suddenly I was enraged at how casually she was treating me.

"Did you just hear me?" I said, my voice a little stronger. I clung to that anger like a drowning person would to life saver. Anger was something I was familiar with. "I was almost _raped_."

Rose finally faced me, the wet towel in her hands. "Of course I heard you, Edea and I'm sorry that happened to you but you're not special in this. More often than not, women are forced to do sexual acts against their will in Florem and the culprit - man or woman - usually gets away with it. There's no penalty. Rape is a word that does not exist in Florem so it certainly is not a crime."

I listened to her words with a stunned look glazing my face. "How... How is that possible?"

Rose shrugged. "The Matriarch governs the laws here and that particular law has not changed in years. It would take a lot of pressure to make a motion now." She gestured to one of her salon chairs. "Now have a seat."

Numbly, I made my way over. "T-that's outrageous."

"That's Florem." Rose made her way towards me and gently knelt on one knee so that she was facing me at eye-level. Then she brought the towel to my face and gently began to rub off the sweat and tears. The towel was damp and hot and comforting. Her hands were so gentle and caressing that I calmed down a little more. Even if Rose was talking about the incident in such a casual way, as if she didn't care about what had just happened to me, I understood that she really _did_ understand how I felt otherwise she wouldn't be treating me so gently. She ran the towel to my knuckles. I winced at the way it stung as she cleaned the raw skin off there. "I'm surprised they had the guts to go after you, though. If your father hears of this I'm sure they'd be dead."

"I'm not telling him," I said immediately.

Rose didn't react to that at all, except that she ceased rubbing at my skin for a moment. "If that's what you desire. But they'd be walking free."

"I can't tell my father," I whispered. The shame that was choking my insides was too great. I'd been so stupid and naïve, and I thought if I told Father everything, he'd definitely tell me how stupid and weak I was for willingly going along with two strange men and then having my training kick in so late.

Rose said nothing to that. Instead, all she said was, "Let's get you out of these clothes."

We spent the next two hours going over make up, and what her plan was for me. She also showed me photographs of past clients but my heart wasn't into it. All I wanted to do was find Agnès or curl up under a blanket and sleep. But I managed to keep up the facade that I actually cared. I wasn't sure if Rose noticed my disinterest; she probably did.

Toward the end she took a deep breath. "I suppose I promised you one final thing before you make a decision on whether to book me as your style team or not."

"Oh yeah?" I asked.

Rose crossed her arms. "You wanted me to show you how I looked without my make up."

Oh, right. I flushed at that memory, about the way I'd been so insolent. "It's okay, you don't have to..."

"I _want_ to." She walked off and for a moment I was left in silence. I struggled not to cry again and forced myself to buck-up. It could have been worse, right? I could have actually been dragged into that alley and came out of it totally broken. I'd escaped.

Not for the first time did I revisit the time DeRosa had managed to nab all those girls, me included. It seemed like every single time I came here, I did something stupid that landed me in these kinds of situations. I fisted my hand, feeling the sting of the split skin on my knuckles opening up. I felt helpless.

When Rose walked out she was a completely different person. I stared at her; Her eyes were actually a dark brown. Her nose was rounder and her lips seemed less pouty and thinner. Her cheekbones were not as prominent and her whole face looked a lot more circular. But the most telling thing on her face was the large, slightly puckered scar that cut a jagged line across her nose. It was the first thing that I was staring at and I found that I could not look away.

"Ugly, isn't it?" she said, and for the first time I could detect a tremor in her voice. I understood the enormity of what she'd just done for me, showing me her real face was something she'd probably never done to anyone else.

"Um..." I said, unsure of what to say. I wanted to tell her "no" but I knew that if I did she wouldn't appreciate it if I said otherwise. I couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth even if she knew it herself so instead I asked, "What happened?"

Rose turned away, covering her face, as if that could block my memory of how she looked. "I told you that most women of Florem get raped at least once in their lives. Most women just go with it; it's better for them to just go with the flow and act like they wanted it because that way they get to preserve their looks as much as possible. But I did something dumb. I fought, and my attacker tried to shut me up by breaking a glass against my face and as a result I ended up with this scar. It actually looked a lot worse before, but I got a bunch of surgeries to make it look like this. I was so angry that they took my beauty from me that I wanted justice. So I told anybody I could and for awhile there were a few women who were with me. But when we protested in front of the Matriarch's Palace, all she said was that she couldn't do anything. The women I gathered with me slowly lost their hope as time passed and eventually stopped pushing altogether. So I did too.

"But the damage was done. After that, nobody would visit my salon because they considered me some sort of radical. There was also the fact that when other salons hopped onto the Orochi dye and fairy wing craze, I didn't want to do that either."

"Why are you telling me this?" But I think I knew the answer already.

Rose turned around. She pointed at her face. "Take a good look at what lies behind the glitz and glam, Edea. You may already have after today. This place used to be a safe haven for women. Now all it's become is an enemy for women. We abandon our baby boys, yet don't bat an eye when a man overseas abuses us. Throughout it all, the women here pretend that everything is fine, when nothing will forever be the same for women like you and I. Don't you find something sickening about that?" She went back to the mirror and started to reapply her make up. She popped in her contacts first. "When I first heard of you, and the kind of person you were, I was relieved and I vowed that I'd do anything in my power to get you noticed. I want you to win so that you can change some of the laws around here. Because I can't anymore. My reputation has been tarnished beyond my control. I need you, Edea. And it's selfish of me to say that, but it's true. I need you for selfish reasons like restarting my salon, it's true. But I need you to make a difference."

I listened carefully. Part of me wanted to say no, but I knew I'd regret it if I just walked away. She was right. Something in Florem had to change. "Alright," I said quietly. "Alright.

* * *

_Edea,_

_I must say it is a pleasant surprise to hear from you after some time. I have heard some news from Ancheim and was pleased to hear you'd reforged an alliance with them. Of course, this was not the way I would have done it, but I am slowly learning that not all of my children must choose their own paths and sometimes that does not include the ways I taught them to do so._

_It is good you are using that Wind Vestal to the greatest of your advantage. I realize she may be your friend, but I hope I do not need to remind you that your duty to Eternia comes first which is why I feel I must also commend you on using your friendship with her to your greatest advantage. Capitalize on it as well as that other friendship you had with that boy from Norende. As for this vestaling you speak of in Florem, I had indeed alerted Victoria about the potential vestaling. At the time, I'd asked Artemia to scout for the Water Vestal and the only lead we had gotten were those letters being sent to the vestaling. When I sent Victoria to take her out, she must have ensured that no other vestal should take her place though with Victoria it's hard to say. Perhaps we shall never know since Victor and Victoria are no longer of this world._

_As for Alternis, his was indeed a tragic story. I do not have to tell you about the problematic way in which Florem deals with its men. While the kingdom's inhabitants are mainly women, it becomes a source of shame when one of its people bears a son. In normal circumstances, if a male child is born to a Floremese woman, she will deliver it to whom she believes is the father to raise and the son shall never know who his mother is. But in rare circumstances where the woman cannot be sure who the father is, or the father is unwilling to accept a child born out of wedlock, she will kill the child, or abandon it. Such is the harsh reality of Florem. When I found Alternis, he was roaming the sewers, as he has probably said to you in the past. Most of the boys of Florem live there, but not for very long because they either die due to disease, starvation, or they simply leave with any travelers who take pity upon them, though that seldom happens since most of the travelers who visit Florem in the first place are to seek the pleasures of flesh and beauty. Very rarely do these boys even reach an age where they have memories. This tradition may seem ugly to you, but it is a tradition that has plagued Florem for centuries now, when its sense of matriarchal society grew out of hand._

_Alternis, as you know, was about ten years old when I found him which was surprising. Most boys who stay in those sewers do not live beyond five years of age. You may ask how I know Alternis was ten if he'd been abandoned. The reason for this was that he'd been abandoned at a later age. While most boys are abandoned within the first few months after birth, Alternis had been abandoned when he was of _three _years of age __which leads me to wonder what kind of woman his mother was or the circumstances as to why she abandoned him as she did. Even more puzzling is why she had decided to keep him for so long as that is not in custom with Floremese tradition. When I found Alternis, I found him to be brighter than the rest of the boys simply because he'd been taken care of for a longer time than they had. He shone as a leader, taking it upon himself as a boy who cared for the other abandoned boys to the best of his abilities. While he knew how to talk and could recite the alphabet when he was abandoned, my suspicions were that he taught himself to read and write and talk with a bigger vocabulary using shop signs in Florem and to pick up on language spoken by the women. He taught the other boys who were old enough to walk how to read and write and steal food at night when Florem had gone to sleep. I chanced upon him while taking a stroll around midnight and followed him to the sewers, but the only boy there who really stood out was Alternis. I was impressed with the way he built himself up on practically nothing so I told him to come with me.__  
_

_He was hesitant at first; he didn't want to abandon his boys, and I suspect that even though his hatred for Florem ran deep (I could see his vehemence for this place even as a boy so young as he), he had still considered it his home. But the prospect of having a new family to care for him for a change was too tempting for him. His ambitions and desperation to break free won him over, and the boys he had led for so long felt divided over his decision to leave. On one hand they understood, but at the same time there was a deep sense of betrayal and jealousy there. When Alternis left me, I knew he was having second thoughts even after he made his choice. All these years, he wanted to go back, but I never allowed him because I knew his personal life might hinder him from his role as a prominent member of the Council of Six. I was also afraid that his presence there might cause a stir; for Alternis was abandoned at an age that struck him the hardest. He was old enough to remember the injustice of it all, and I do not think he has forgotten the bitter taste Florem has left him with. You would do well to keep a closer eye on him, Edea. For as much love that we Lees have showered upon him and made him one of our own, there are some things that cannot ever be healed._

_I hope this answers some of your questions, daughter, about Alternis._

_Yours sincerely_

_Braev Lee_

_P.S. You need not concern yourself with Krov. He is your mother's and I's problem. We are still in the process of figuring out who this may be but I've come to wonder if I've met him before. He seems somewhat familiar. But for now, please focus on the rest of Luxendarc. Eternia's problems are my problems as of now._

* * *

**Again, I'm sorry this was such a dark chapter compared to the others. It's kind of different from the others in the sense that I was writing it I felt that it almost came out of nowhere? But at the same time that was the kind of feeling I wanted to go for because while I love Florem and I think it's so pretty, I can't help but think that it's probably one of the most problematic societies in Luxendarc. Everything that happened in these chapters in-game was just so dark...**

**In other news, I know we've been missing Alternis for some time, but we'll get to him, don't worry! Next chapter, I promise. At least we know his past now, eh? **

**As always, thanks for being so patient and for sticking with me thus far. I can't believe it's already the end of 2014! I started this in June and I've stuck with this thus far. This is the longest I've ever stuck with a story that I've consistently updated. Reviews/follows/favs whatever are, as always, appreciated. Until next time!**


	14. Into the Sewers

**Thanks for being so patient and loyal as ever! This was an even longer wait, eh? Truth is, I've hardly gotten time to be on my laptop which is where I write. Can't write for beans on my phone, the way quite a few of you can, I'm sure. Signs of getting old. Also, holy long!chap alert! This one clocks in at 7K and would've been longer, but I had to cut it off where it was because if I didn't I probably would've spent at least another 3K words on this and it would've been exhausting, I'm sure.**

**Also, I know my author's notes are so annoyingly long especially with the answers I have to do on here so after this chapter, I'm probably just going to refrain from answering anon reviews unless there's a specific question or because I did something really dumb and inconsistent in my story. This'll probably be the last time I do the big ol' answer thing. If you do wanna talk and ask me questions and stuff, I actually recently opened my asks on my tumblr sideblog dedicated to bravely default. I think you can find it on my profile.**

**Enzo: Thanks for your review and I'm just relieved that nobody thought the content from the last chapter wasn't handled properly, and I'm sorry you had to experience such a horrible thing happen. Though I'm glad nothing happened in your situation, I can see why it could be a horrible and uncomfortable situation. While I haven't been subjected to a lot of those sort of uncomfortable situations, I can say that since I was in fourth grade I've been subjected to men who try to satisfy their own urges and I've always grappled with the question of why, when it comes to these kinds of situations, victims sometimes freeze. One of the things I love about Edea is that she's really strong and fiercely independent and such a badass (I think she has the strongest physical strength in-game, but correct me if I'm wrong!) but at her core, she's still really vulnerable and sensitive when it comes to things like her friendship with Agnés, and maybe even a little with Alternis, and her issues with her father. I wanted to bring some of that element of the fact that she's not as unbreakable as her initial impression may seem. Ah, but jeez, I'm rambling. Thanks again for your review!**

**A friend****: Thanks so much for reviewing! It's always a pleasure reading your thoughts about everything! To be honest, I haven't played many FF games... the only one I've played as a matter of fact was Final Fantasy 4 (with Cecil, Kain, Rydia etc.) and I _loved_ it which is why, when I played the demo to this game, and noticed a few similarities (duh, since it's SE after all!) I knew I had to play it out and then it's history from there. I agree with you about the monotony of the last half of the game. Even though we get a few lovely surprises... like having most of the asterisk-bearers fleshed out and so much more interesting (Though Profiteur, Qada etc., are still awful) it still got really annoying and I was sad that the creators couldn't make the last half a lot more interesting and different. And yes, you do have a point about the world-building... I never really thought about world-building for this fic in the beginning, but I guess once I realized what kind of direction this one was headed, I knew I had to expand on Luxendarc especially since a lot of it deals with the aftermath of war. Anyway, thank you for your words of encouragement and your kind words make me feel super happy! No worries about any misconceptions about the pacing of my story! We're already 70k into this big ol' thing and Alternis and Edea haven't made much progress in the romance department, haha, so even if you did think it was _really_ slow, I wouldn't blame you.**

**And without further ado, here we go!**

* * *

Florem's oldest, and largest library was not that far off from the palace. It had only taken me two minutes to reach there by foot. Two minutes of making sure I was within crowds and avoiding dark alleys and secluded areas. I couldn't work myself to ask Agnés along, let alone Alternis just for comfort's sake. First off, it was strange in the beginning that I was headed to a library in the first place. Though I'd read reports, gathering voluntary information wasn't really my thing. Books weren't my thing either and I'd spent most of my life trying to avoid studies if I could help it. I was well-versed in using my fists; they were what I used to get information, not reading.

But I knew that in order to tackle the problem that was currently plaguing Florem, I'd have to find out what the source was in the beginning. My instincts told me that Florem wasn't always this way; that it wasn't always a place that allowed rape willingly and simultaneously killed off all the men and since Florem was one of the oldest kingdoms in Luxendarc, I knew that the problem had to have stemmed earlier than any living soul could tell me. I'd asked Rose if there were any historians or history buffs but she told me she didn't know. "As far as I know," she said, biting her lip, "The only lovers of our history were the acolytes and the Water Vestal herself. And, well, you know what happened to them."

I did.

I wondered if Agnés knew anything. In our little group, she and Ringabel had been the ones who sought information in books. Before she met Tiz, Ringabel and I, she had considered Olivia to be her closest friend and therefore the closest source of information I might have had on hand toward what Olivia knew. Any scrap of information could prove useful.

Unfortunately, Agnés had her own problems. The vestaling that Olivia had her eye one was, "promising" Agnés said, "but there's something inside her preventing her from revealing her true potential. Something dark." I bit my lip at that; I suspected I knew what it was. Losing her mother to a sadist like Victoria would inevitably take a huge toll on her. I recalled how the Matriarch had said she'd found her lost outside of Florem.

The only information Agnés had for me was to search for a book that Olivia had mentioned to Agnés when they used to correspond through letters. "It was a book about early Floremese history. I remember it being strange because it was a restricted book. Not just anybody could read it, which was odd because there aren't such forms of censorship in Ancheim."

I stared up at the library in front of me now. It was a massive building with ageless arches and a sort of grace that seemed to only strengthen with time. It was impressive architecture, that was for sure. I also noticed that not a lot of people were headed in and out. Floremese citizens must carry the same attitude that I did towards books; use them only when needed.

I stole up the stone steps, my feet light. At my side was my sword. Ever since that night where I'd nearly been raped, I was sure to carry Ise-no-kami with me at all times. It was foolish how lax I'd been since this whole conquest; I'd been so used to taking somebody with me, that I never bothered to carry a weapon but now I did. I wouldn't be caught off guard anymore. This time, I'd be prepared with my blade.

I entered the library. The ceiling was very high, easily stretching beyond seventy feet and there was a hushed silence, not unlike the silence that I found in each temple that housed crystals. I saw women here and there flitting about, dressed in form-fitting gray frocks. Those had to be the librarians.

There were a few regularly dressed women who were browsing the shelves that stretched almost to the ceiling. The shelves backed against the walls had stairs at each level. The shelves that were in the middle had ladders that rolled from side to side of the shelves if you pushed yourself along. My mouth dropped at these. Though Eternia's central library was far more impressive, Florem's was impressive in its own right. I wondered if I'd be able to have fun on some of these rolling ladders without getting into _too_ much trouble.

"Can I help you, Miss?" a librarian asked me. She was extremely short, so I had to look down at her, and she had glasses perched at the tip of her nose which was unusual; I'd rarely seen women wear glasses here unless it was as a fashion accessory. This girl's glasses were thin-wired and circular, and extremely unfashionable. I did a double-take; she wore no makeup.

"Y-yes," I said, recovering from staring at her for so long. "I wanted to read up on Florem history." Which was a partial lie; I could think of many other less horrible ways to spend my afternoons. I didn't _want_ to read up on Florem history, but I knew I _needed_ to.

The woman - or rather girl, for this one couldn't be older than sixteen - pushed her glasses up to her nose. "How far back did you want to go?"

"How far back do you have available?"

"Well, I can get you up to two-hundred years ago. That's as far as we go for public records."

I frowned. That wouldn't do at all. Eternia was almost a millenia old. Florem had to be almost as old. I put on a sugary sweet smile. "What about something older?"

Her gaze at me turned curious. "Anything further than that, that mentions dates older than two-hundred years back would be in the restricted section. The only way you'd be permitted access is if you had express orders from the Head Librarian or the Matriarch herself. Shouldn't you know that?"

Thinking fast, I simpered, "I'm not from here actually. I'm the Matriarch's esteemed guest. Perhaps you've heard of me? Edea Lee, future ruler to Eternia?" I said it with just the right amount of practiced embarrassment and guilt in my voice that I'd resorted to name-dropping. If I had to be honest though, I wasn't ashamed of what I had to do at all. I might as well use anything to my advantage which included my prominent position.

It worked - the librarian's face changed from one of suspicion to one of wonderment. "You don't look like you're really from here," she said, studying my Eternian paleness. Even though Floremese women were fairer than Ancheim's citizens, they were still darker than us. "Prove that you're Edea," she suddenly said.

I shrugged. "How am I supposed to prove that it's really me?"

"I've read up on you," she responded, a little breathless.

_Now_ I was intrigued. "There are records of me?" I felt kind of flattered.

"Well, not much, but there _are_ records being made, now that you've had a hand in closing up that mysterious chasm. Well, there are rumors anyway. Nobody knows for sure how it disappeared, but a lot of people said you and the Wind Vestal had something to do with it along with two others. Is it true you're friends with her?" she said this all in one breath.

"Uh, yeah. We're pretty close," I responded hesitantly, a little unnerved by her sudden rapid-fire questions.

"So the fact that you're Anti-Crystalist and she's a prominent member of the Orthodoxy doesn't matter?"

"Well, we'll always have our diff-"

"Did you really close up that chasm that appeared on Caldisla?"

I was starting to grow a little irritated by her questions. I tapped the hilt to Ise-No-Kami. "It opened up in Norende actually and wiped out the whole village. I'm afraid I can't answer all your questions," I said. "I'm a little busy right now, and it's important I get those documents." Suddenly, an idea struck. I unsheathed Ise-No-Kami. The tiny girl flinched.

"This is the Ise-no-kami. It was gifted to me by my master and as far as I know I'm the only one who carries it."

The girl's eyes shone in wonderment. She eyeballed the sword which had since dulled since Master Kamiizumi bequeathed it to me. I hadn't cleaned or sharpened it since coming home. Part of me didn't want to just because I felt like if I did, I'd be cleaning off the memories attached to the sword.

The girl inspected it for a few more minutes, before I said, "Is that enough proof that I'm who I say I am?"

She nodded, so I sheathed the sword and faced her, hip cocked and arms folded. I waited for her verdict. She bit her lip.

"The truth is, it doesn't matter if you were special friends with the Matriarch. I'd need a special note from the our leader herself to allow you to peruse our restricted records." She looked apologetic, and then her expression grew fearful as she watched my face tighten in anger. "But!" she said, "I'd be happy to assist you. If you come after hours... at night perhaps..."

"No," I said flatly. There was no way in Eisen's hell that I'd venture out at night in Florem. I was armed, to be sure, but what really bothered me was the fact that even if I was armed, I still wouldn't be able to fight back.

What haunted me the most about that night wasn't the fact that two men had the audacity to think they could rape me; it was really the fact that I hadn't fought back. Why hadn't I? I knew I could take them on even without being armed. After all, I was pretty strong and had won my fair share of brawls with the other boys in Master Kamiizumi's dojo.

The thought of wandering Florem's streets at night with nobody I trusted was unbearable. I thought about asking Theo or Agnés or Alternis but I couldn't even bring myself to tell them what a coward I'd been. I'd never been in this kind of position before. "No," I repeated again, this time a little softer, because the girl looked taken aback by my first no. "I really do need those records, though. Is there some other way I could get that information?"

The girl frowned, her eyes drifting from librarian to librarian. "Well, I suppose... if you tell me what you're looking for specifically, I might be able to deliver it to you personally."

I considered her proposal. On one hand, I didn't want her dragged into this. What if I told her that the reason I needed to learn about Florem's history was to change laws that had been in place for hundreds of years? As an outsider, this was something that I had no authority over, and I wasn't sure this girl would like me saying that some problems of her society were heavily problematic. "I'm just curious to get a feel of Florem. You know, it's conception, how the males are treated here... that sort of thing." I smiled, hoping that it didn't sound too suspicious.

I could have sworn that the girl gave me a strange, almost thoughtful look, but a second later it vanished. "I'll see what I can find and I'll have it delivered by tomorrow night. I'm Kaimi by the way."

"It's nice to meet you," I responded. On impulse, I said, "Don't go out at night. I'll send somebody to fetch it from you."

* * *

The first thing that clued me that I was getting nearer was the foul stench that pervaded the outskirts of Florem. I knew I was reaching one of the mouths of the sewers here.

My plan was to send Alternis to get the book from Kaimi but as usual, I couldn't find him. It had been my original plan anyway to talk to him about his past. When I read Father's letter, a torrent of emotions coursed through me. I couldn't imagine Alternis as a little, malnourished boy having to make such an impossible decision; to choose a life of living amongst humans, or to simply survive amongst those he considered his family. My heart nearly tore in two. It was a cruel decision and I wished that Father could have taken all the boys along rather than just Alternis.

What would I have chosen, if it had been me? Would I picked myself over those who needed me?

Things made a lot more sense about our past now. I never bothered to peruse our childhood together that much but I recalled all the times Alternis refused to play with me. At the time, I'd simply thought it was a case of being homesick or something. It never occurred to me that the only girls he'd ever known were responsible for treating him like less than an animal.

I gripped the hilt of my weapon, and finally located an opening. Dirty water was emptying into one of the rivers. For a moment, I watched the brownish-green water, my stomach roiling at the thought of having to wade through it. I was utterly repulsed. For a second, I wondered if I could just send Theo in but I remembered the first time I'd laid eyes on Alternis.

I remember him looking at me with cold eyes, eyes that should never have to belong to any ten year old. I remembered the hollow of his cheeks, the gray shadows that dusted underneath his eyes and most importantly I realized that his eyes showed that he was never whole and could never be whole. I remembered looking at him, young as I was, and being so afraid and yet... and yet...

I'd felt so _sorry_ for him.

It was an emotion I knew Alternis would never appreciate because it was an emotion that I never wanted people to feel for me, yet there I was, pitying him even all those years back. I was ashamed for even feeling it.

I took a firm step into the coursing water and began to walk against the current and up the slope. The rancid odor assailed my nostrils, making the journey almost unbearable. I'd heard so many stories of heroes, villains and assassins sneaking into kingdoms but none of them ever mentioned the overpowering odor. I gave up breathing through my nose, and instead used my mouth. The current was powerful, but my legs were too. With some difficulty, I managed to climb up the slope and into the actual sewer. Inside, the place was dank, and the water moved slowly, making my journey a little easier. It was big enough that I could stand, and had a circular passageway. I clung to the side, so that I could stay as dry as possible, though it was useless anyway; climbing up that current of sewage had already soaked me in at least a hundred different diseases.

I shivered, taking comfort at the sunlight that peeked through the cracks above. I felt slightly relieved at that; I was rusty at any sort of black magic, though I'd carried the asterisk with me just in case the place got too dark and I'd have to cast Fire.

I stole across the passageway. Aside from the occasional squeaking of what I thought were rats, and the sounds of water coursing through or dripping, I couldn't detect any footsteps aside from my own. I frowned; this was going to be harder than I'd thought. I knew all sewers were somewhat connected, but Florem was such a huge city that I knew the tunnels must be equally as huge.

For all I knew, the sewage system could be one, large labyrinth. I unsheathed my sword somewhat reluctantly. I had to be prepared, in case I got lost. I quickly carved a tiny 'X' into the wall next to me to remind myself that I'd come this way.

And that was what I did for roughly the next hour and a half. I came across two or three pronged pathways. Some of them led me back to the mouth, others led me on further. But as far as I knew, I was no closer to finding Alternis, or the other boys.

I'd also come across large, balding rats which made me shudder. I hated the fact that I was constantly in locations where they inhabited. These rats were even worse than the ones in Ancheim; balding and a little _too_ friendly, if they got too close, I made a swipe at them with Ise-no-kami. The glint of steel usually was enough to set them back.

As I wandered through the sewers, my clothes becoming filthier by the second, and my nose becoming accustomed to the rankness of this place, I wondered what I would even say to Alternis. I'd already come to the conclusion that he wouldn't appreciate my prying into his past but I knew it was necessary for me to know.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts, that I didn't notice somebody was following me. I noticed as I marked a stone for the fifteenth time. From the corner of my eye, I noticed a shadow darting away, but when I spun around, nothing was there.

"Who is there?" I called out, injecting as much strength as I could. I told myself to breathe easy, that whoever was present inside the sewers was probably who I was searching for anyway.

I held my sword in a defensive stance and continued cautiously toward where I thought I'd seen the shadow. The path turned sharply, and without thinking I took that turn.

Instantly, something hit me in the stomach, making me fall backward.

"Come into _our_ territory, ya dirty whore?"

I fell into the sewage water with a strangled cry. Hours ago, I would have been appalled at having been knocked into that filthy water, but now I hardly cared, even feeling a little grateful that it was soft. Hands grabbed at me, and from the very dim lighting, I could make out that they were bony with dirty, uneven and long fingernails. They scrabbled against my skin and I began to panic. There had to be at least six pairs of hands.

All I could think about was that I couldn't be overpowered, not again. I squeezed my eyes shut, lashed out with my sword, and I felt it sink into something that was _not_ stone. I heard a boy cry out - a keening, boyish wail that made the skin on my arms crawl and my heart almost stop - and then all of a sudden I heard a hiss. "She's armed. Didn't know she could _use_ 'em 'pons!"

The hands let go of me, and I finally opened my eyes. I stared down at the water and to my utmost horror, I saw dull red coating the brownish water. I looked up and surrounding me were at least ten to fifteen boys, their hair matted and messy, their eyes a mixture of wariness and anger. My eyes traveled towards the source of blood. There was a boy, about eight, who wore only underwear. I could see his ribcage, and my sword was currently sticking into his shoulder. He was staring at me, his expression not unlike a dog who had just been severely injured. His face was like a sheet of paper, and I had to commend him for not outright crying or making any sudden movements. Maybe it was because he was in shock.

Horrified, I almost took my sword out. At the last second I realized if I did, I had nothing sterile to staunch the flow of blood and the place was too diseased. Surely it would get infected here of all places. But I couldn't just leave my sword in. I cursed myself, wishing I'd brought my Salve-maker, White Mage or even Spiritmaster asterisk, but all I had equipped on me was Dark Mage and my Knight. Neither of them would do; I needed Agnés.

"Hey," I said in what I hoped to be a reassuring voice. The boy flinched at my name. For some strange reason, he reminded me of Egil when we first rescued him. "Are you okay?" Inwardly, I felt really stupid. Here I was, asking if he was alright, while my sword was currently embedded in his shoulder.

The boy flinched at my voice. "Listen," I said in the same low voice. "Don't move. Don't try taking out my sword. If you do, I'll have nothing to put on your wound and you might lose a lot of blood."

For the first time, the boy spoke, and his voice was high-pitched. "It hurts."

"I know," I said. "I'm sorry. This was an accident." I raised my gaze to the boys who still surrounded me, poised to attack if necessary. "Can any one of you get help, or has any clean cloth?"

One of the boys gave an unkind laugh. "Hah! That's a joke right?"

I took a deep breath, trying to focus. This was bad. Very bad. I'd had a lot of blood on my hands in the past; I'd killed my friends, my peers, my teachers and had been prepared to even kill my own father. But never in my life had I killed a child. I wasn't about to cross that line too. The trouble was, none of these boys would believe me because I was a woman. I almost cried in frustration at my plight. How stupid was I?

If I'd been Agnés, I probably would make it worse. Though I doubted Agnés would find herself in this situation and neither would Tiz. Both were the kinds of people who thought before they struck; I was the complete opposite. I tried to think about what Ringabel would do in my current situation. He'd probably charm his way out of here if he could. Unfortunately I didn't have that sort of suaveness... neither did Alternis for that matter. Not for the first time did I stop to pause how different they were.

Alternis... "Alternis!" I shouted, my voice bouncing off the walls. My last hope.

The boys jumped back in surprise at my loud voice. "Do you know a boy named Alternis?" I asked breathlessly. I wasn't even thinking about pride in this moment. After all, it wasn't just my life on the line anymore; it was this boy and maybe the future of Florem if I was being more dramatic.

The boys all exchanged a looks toward one another. "Why should we tell you anything? As 'tis, the only reason you ain't dead yet is 'cause your sword is stickin' out of Pudge's chest."

"Shoulder," I corrected, and the boy who had just spoken only glared at me. I could definitely take on all these boys and win, but I knew that wasn't the right solution at all. "But that's neither here nor there. Look, I promise when I say that I meant no harm. What can I do to make you all trust me? Your friend is in desperate need of medical attention, and I fear the only person now who can help you is my... friend," I said, hesitating on the word. Friend was such an innocent word to use on Alternis because it barely scratched the surface. I cleared my throat. "So I'm asking again, do you know who Alternis is?"

One of the boys in the back - a smaller one - piped, "We do. Claimed to be one of us, 'smatter of fact. Hard to believe, he's so tall and strong, but 'e knew how to find us all the same." The older boy glared at him, but the smaller one looked determined and pointedly ignored him.

My heart throbbed painfully at the mention of Alternis claiming to be one of the boys, but I ignored it. I'd talk to Alternis later about his past. Right now, I had more pressing concerns. "Could one of you please go find him and get him? Tell him Edea Lee really needs his help and bring him to me. Tell him to bring some clean cloths and towels."

"An' why should we trust you? You might just be letting him go so you got less of us to fight," the first boy said. His face was so filthy that the only thing that really stood out were his coal-black eyes which glinted in the dim light angrily.

I took a deep breath, my mind coming to a conclusion. I was taking a big risk, but it was the only way to make them trust me. "One of your boys can hold the sword, and the rest of you can tie me up, if you'd like. Hold me as your prisoner." I was so against this idea, but I knew it was the only way to get these boys to trust me. I needed them to think I was powerless against them.

I saw doubt cloud the boy's eyes now. "That a joke? You'd really do that?"

"Pudge is in trouble. I don't know how the women are really like in Florem when it comes to you boys, but I'm not from here. If I see somebody hurt, I'll try to save them. As it is, we're wasting time here. The longer my sword stays in his body, the more his chances of surviving dwindle."

The boy flinched; he knew I was right. "Fine. Dip'll get him."

The smaller boy who had told me about Alternis, jumped to his feet and scrambled off without so much as looking back. In the meantime, this boy warily approached me with the rest. I allowed him to grasp the handle of Ise-no-kami, while the other boys unkindly took my arms and shoved them behind me. I felt a rough cord wind tightly around my wrists and I tried not to cry out. The last thing I wanted was to show them I was weak. I let them roughly handle me for a moment, trying to ignore how much their touch really made me uncomfortable. After binding my feet as well, a silence took over, broken only by the gentle drops of sewage water.

I stared at the boys, trying not to think about how vulnerable I was. A boy who hated me beyond belief was holding my sword and could stab me, before I summoned even an inkling of Fire. I had no way of defending myself for sure, since my Dark Magic was rusty. I wasn't sure I could even react in time to cast a spell, should the boy choose to take the sword out of Pudge and stab me. I recalled all the times I hated taking a guard with me but now I wished there was somebody with me. I could only pray that Dip found Alternis soon.

I hadn't even noticed the fact that the odor, once so repulsive and pungent, was now just background smell. It was only faintly distracting. My clothes were even worse, uncomfortably soaked with fluids that I tried not to think about. I tried to scoot myself over the wall, but the boys all took a step closer when I did, so I abandoned all thoughts of doing so.

Several minutes passed. "What's your name?" I asked the boy holding on to Ise-no-kami.

"Why should I tell you?" he snarled back. Now that my eyes were better accustomed to the dim lighting, I could see that his eyebrows seemed to be permanently locked into a frown.

"You know mine. It only seems fair," I said, trying to make my voice light. I didn't want to show them that I was regretting my proposal of willingly becoming some a hostage.

"Fairness?" he gave a sharp laugh. He gave me an angry look which forcibly reminded me of Alternis. "What would your kind know about fairness? Just because we wern' born women we're cast away."

"I know," I said. "It isn't fair." The ropes were cutting into my skin now, so I tried to shift my hands into a more comfortable position. I thought about the way gender was also unequal in Eternia. Women were expected to stay at home, while men had to work. It was almost lucky that Mother had only me; if she'd had a son I'd probably be pampered my whole life into that of a typical princess. Because Mother was fragile and nearly died giving birth to me, Father decided that they'd never have anymore children and I'd always suspected that because I was an only child and potential future ruler to Eternia, Master Kamiizumi took me in as a pupil.

I couldn't begin to understand the horror and fears that these boys had in comparison to the women in Eternia, but I understood some of the unfairness. By now, my hands were starting to numb. I watched the boy turn away from me, the look of scorn still on his face. He didn't believe I could sympathize with him. And why should he anyway? As far as he knew, every woman he'd met thus far treated him worse than a rat.

The sound of splashing water tore me away from my thoughts. That had to be Alternis and Dip. Unexpectedly, I felt my heart beat a little faster. It had been some time since I'd seen Alternis. Doubtless he'd be angry at the fact that I was here in the first place. He hadn't wanted me to see the ugly reality of where he lived.

The footsteps and splashes grew closer, until I was finally forced to look up. Through the dim lighting, I saw Alternis's face, his mouth drawn in a tight, worried line, searching for somebody until his eyes finally rested on me.

"Edea," he said, as if he couldn't quite comprehend that I was here. His hair was down, not in its elaborate updo like Ringabel's. Maybe I shouldn't have been here. I suddenly felt like I'd went too far landing myself here.

"Alternis," I said, a little relieved he was here, but still a little apprehensive. "The boy. You have to save him." I nodded in Pudge's direction.

Just then, Dip arrived a little breathlessly. In his hands he was holding onto a bunch of clean cloths and a two jars of something.

Alternis lifted his gaze from me to where I'd nodded at. I watched his face grow sharper into something like anger. "What did you do?" he asked, his voice betraying the tremors of an angry man who was barely keeping his fury at bay.

"It was an accident," I whispered, looking down at my my knees. "I was looking for you." It struck me how strange it was that I wasn't fighting with him. Maybe I was tired of arguing. Or maybe I knew that what I did, no matter the reasons behind it, were inexcusable. The cold numbness of my bound hands were gradually climbing up to my elbows.

I said the words I found so hard to say, so unbearably difficult. They were words I'd never wanted to say to Alternis of all people. "I need your help."

I wasn't looking at him when I said it, but I knew that he must've reacted in some way; he had to know how much I loathed it.

"Get that sword out of his shoulder when I say so," I heard him say in a clipped voice. "Get the towels and salve ready. We have to use it to clean that wound. The bandages too." His voice was like a leader's, and the boys seemed to know that. In just a short few days, they were already obeying him. My insides curled up but I couldn't tell if it was from pride or jealousy. Of course I'd be happy that these boys listened to him. Of course I admired him for this quality. But I couldn't help but have my pride wounded at the fact that the leadership stuff seemed to come too easy to him but I had to work at it. I couldn't help but bitterly think that while I'd been born to Father, a child whose traits he wouldn't choose, he had picked Alternis because he'd seen something in him. He was Father's choice; if the past year proved anything, it was that I wasn't the child Father had hoped for.

I brushed the self-pity aside for a moment, even if it did remain in the back of my head. The boys scrambled around Pudge, making it impossible for me to see what was going on there. They clustered around Alternis. I saw a sudden movement, and a shrill cry. Then a flash of my bloodied sword. There was another scramble, and I heard Pudge moaning and sobbing. Whatever was going on, it made me feel helpless because I couldn't do anything. Pudge's screams turned muffled, as if he'd had something to bite down on, and eventually I heard quiet whimpers that bounced off the rounded vicinity.

"Help him to your quarters," I heard Alternis say brusquely and a second or two later he emerged from the crowd toward me. His face was curiously blank when I got a good look, which frustrated me. He knelt toward me, his body dangerously close to mine. His cheek was nearly touching mine, and then his arms circled around me. My heart beat faster at our close proximity, and I froze, despite my discomfort.

"Alternis, what..." I said, my voice unnaturally high. But the rest of my sentence was lost when I felt his hands finally find my wrists. I could hardly feel the pressure of his hands on my wrists since my arms were numb but I could tell that he was untying the ropes on my wrist and as they loosened, I could already feel the blood returning into my arms. I relaxed slightly when I realized there was a purpose for him being so close to me, but I was troubled at the way I froze up in the first place. What had I been expecting? That Alternis would take me into his arms and tell me he was glad I was safe?

Not likely. _Get real, Edea_.

"Thanks," I mumbled, as he finally removed my bindings.

"You're welcome," he responded, his voice as blank and neutral as his face. I expected him to say something else, but he turned away from me, focusing on the boys.

I admit, I was a little shocked. I expected him to ask what on earth I was even doing here in the first place; the story behind everything. He had to be a little curious as to how I'd know he was here. I wasn't expecting this tepid, uninspiring silence.

Unsteadily, I rose to my feet, my legs a little wobbly from being bent in one position for so long. I massaged my wrists, knowing I'd feel the ache even worse tomorrow. Even with the dim lighting, I could tell that there would be marks around my wrists tomorrow. I frowned and tried not to think of how Rose would react to these bruises.

I hurried over to the huddle of boys who were now following Alternis who now had Pudge in his arms. Dip held on to my sword, though by the way he carried it, I could tell it was the first time he'd ever so much as held one. It would've looked comical had I not been so desperate to gauge Alternis's mood.

I pushed my dirty hair back and caught up to him, trying not to wince at my aching legs. When I finally reached his side, I asked hesitantly, "Can we... talk?"

"I'm a little busy," came his brusque response. The subtext of that simple sentence seemed to say, _I'm a little busy cleaning up _your_ mess._

I watched a rat scuttle off, and shivered. "I know. It's just..." my voice drifted off, and I suddenly felt exhausted. I wanted to tell him that I missed him at my side these past few days, that I really needed him to be there for me especially now. But I couldn't say any of that, not while he was cleaning up my mess.

And besides, I realized, Alternis had a life outside of me. He had his own problems too, problems that I knew I ought to try to help solve. This was something Alternis and I, for once, could agree on; that these boys under the sewers did not deserve such treatment and that Florem needed to undergo some massive changes. I bit my lip. But tackling this issue wouldn't help my image at all amongst the women here, and if Florem's women hated me, then surely I would not succeed in forging a bond between Eternia and Florem.

I still couldn't back away from this issue. How many times had Alternis helped me out, even if he disapproved of what I did? And even when I was considered an enemy and a traitor to Eternia, Alternis had still given me so many chances and had spared my life. It was my turn now. I'd also be lying if I said that I wouldn't rest easy knowing I didn't try anything to help these boys. The way they looked at me with all the fury of the world made my heart sink.

I looked up at Alternis, as we made our way deeper into the sewers. I swallowed. "I've had a rough couple of days," I began. "I don't want to fight you."

I saw his eyebrows lift up a fraction of a centimeter, but all he said was, "Oh?"

I sighed, the weariness overtaking me. "I just... I need you."

He turned his head sharply to face me, and I thought for a moment he'd yell at me. But his eyes, which looked almost like a molten silver, were gazing at me with an almost peculiar expression, his eyebrows contorted a little upward. I'd seen Ringabel pull that face on me sometimes towards the end, when he'd regained his memories. The same expression he pulled when he thought I wasn't looking, but I'd always been able to face Ringabel.

And I recognized it for what it was; concern.

Alternis was worried about me. I wasn't sure why it mattered so much to me, but it did. I felt a wave of emotions build up, and felt my insides burn.

His expression softened just a little. "Tell me everything."

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**A strange way to end, but I'm already late as it is, and plus, like I said earlier long!chap. So it seems like there's some sort of turning point here between Alternis and Edea? Hopefully? Maybe?**

**The Festival stuff should take place next chapter, if anybody was wondering what's going on with that. And as well that whole bit with Edea trying to figure out who Alternis wants to kill, don't think I've forgotten about that either. That ought to be revealed very soon too.**

**As always, thank you so much for the reviews and favs and follows and hits!**


	15. The Heart of the Sewers

**Just wanted to acknowledge that yeah, I heck'd up pretty bad the last chapter, with confusing Leo's name with Theo as some of your sharp eyes have pointed out. I will be fixing that soon, so a very heartfelt thanks to those who noticed it!**

**Secondly, somebody else pointed out a bit of a world-building error. In the previous chapter, the boys in the sewers were shocked that women in general could even wield a weapon despite the fact that Florem is entirely women-driven, and should have at least some sort of force that protects people from other forms of crime like theft, murder, vandalism etc. So I will be correcting that as well, and I'm truly grateful that somebody pointed it out.**

**Enzo: The restricted part will be a minor detail that you'll see in the upcoming chapters. It's important to my world building, not so much to actual plot-purposes until maybe later on? I wouldn't want to divulge too much there. As always, thank you for your review and your sharp eyes!**

**Irien:**** Thank you so much for the review! I try to fill up spaces from the game as much as possible! **

**Your critiques just make my mistake-ridden story just that much closer to being more cohesive!**

**This chapter is way shorter but I hope it'll clear up a lot.**

* * *

Except I wasn't exactly ready to tell him everything.

I couldn't even tell Agnés about what happened. How was I supposed to tell Alternis everything?

As we drew closer to the heart of the sewers, I frantically tried to gather my thoughts. Where did I even begin? His expectant silence stretched out for a long time between us. I didn't even know where to begin. I really wanted my sword, but I couldn't even hold that. Instead I found myself wringing my hands.

"I don't know why it's so hard to begin," I said, an uncharacteristic grin taking over my face. I wasn't sure why I was smiling. Everything about our situation suggested I shouldn't, but for some reason, smiling acted as a barrier to what I truly felt. I felt so alone and scared.

Alternis stole a quick glance at me. His expression had since reverted to one of careful neutrality. I waited or him to say something, but instead all he said was, "What a sorry place this is."

I relaxed, and seized on that opening, slightly grateful in what he said. "It's pretty horrible."

I saw his Adam's apple bob when he swallowed, and a muscle twitch in his cheek from the corner of my eye. "But this has always been home for me."

I almost stopped right then and there, more shocked that he actually was opening up to me than the content of his words. This was something I hadn't expected; I never thought Alternis would talk about the time before my father adopted him. I couldn't be sure why he was doing so now. Perhaps it was because he knew part of the story.

Even more revealing was what he'd just said. I never expected him to tell me that this place was his true home. I was almost hurt that he never considered Eternia his home. After all, wasn't it Father who had taken him away from certain poverty, starvation, and death and trained him to be a dedicated soldier? Wasn't it Mother who had clothed and raised him into a strong man through her unwavering love? And wasn't it I...

I paused, because I really couldn't think of anything I'd done to help him become the man he was today. All I'd done when we were younger was needle him and think he was strange.

But I swallowed all my hurt down, reminding myself that this wasn't about me or the Lees or how much we'd helped him. This was about Alternis and how he felt. The most I could do now, since I hadn't in the past, was listen to him. I thought about the last time I'd told Alternis he was part of our family and how he rejected it. At the time, I'd thought he was being difficult or too modest about himself.

"What about your mother?" I asked, swallowing. "You probably remembered staying with her."

A wry grin, devoid of any warmth, and only filled with weariness stole across his face. "My mother," he said, and his voice sounded brittle. He sighed, and his shoulders seemed to sag just a tiny bit. "I remember the way she held me in her lap, the vibration of her kiss, when she smacked her lips against the top of my head. I remember the way she smelled like freesias and fresh cotton, and the way she taught me how to read. I remember the way her hands pushed me into a closet each time there was a knock at the door. She was always so careful not to let anybody see her shame, which was me. I remember everything about her, except for her wretched face."

I flinched at the sudden hostility in his voice towards the end. A strange sensation crept up my spine, as if I was on the brink of some discovery I'd been searching for all this time. But I hadn't quite grasped it yet, and suddenly I wasn't sure if I wanted to. "Alternis," I whispered. "Alternis." But the rest of the sentence simply wouldn't come out. I didn't want him to confirm the horrible truth that I'd just come across.

He didn't speak after I said his name, but his face no longer looked blank and neutral; it was as if he were brooding on past memories that were supposed to be sweet but within the context of what had happened afterward only haunted him.

I longed to press him for more details about his past, but something inside me told me that he wouldn't be opening up to me if I asked him outright. "I'm... I don't have a problem with you visiting here Alternis. I know that this is beyond important to you, to visit a place that-"

"You don't know the first thing about it, Edea," he cut in sharply.

I balled my hands into fists. "I'm sick of you _saying_ that. I know I don't! How could I possibly understand?" I let the anger come in because I was scared that the more hurt I felt, the more I'd begin to cry and I wasn't about to show my broken face to him.

He flinched at the sudden heat that crept in my voice, but I pretended not to pay attention and plowed on. "In a million years, I'll never know poverty or sadness or loneliness the way you did, but I still want to be there for you. I'll admit, when I was younger and more frivolous, I didn't spare you that much of a thought once I grew used to your presence but now I want to, if you'll have me, if you'll let me."

"Why bother? I haven't changed. You think me devoid of life, stubborn, and beyond everything else dull."

"I do think those things of you," I admitted, without thinking, "I can't stand being around you sometimes because you're always about duty and you don't bend easily but don't you see that's what I... that's what I've grown dependent on? I know I told you that I didn't need you to protect me so many times but have you thought so lowly of yourself that these past few days you haven't stopped once to consider the fact that I needed you by my side and you weren't here?"

The question hung in the air. Silence enveloped us, long and painful and awkward. Up ahead, the boys were chattering away. I wanted him to answer because I was done playing games and I knew I needed him.

"I..." Alternis began, his voice strange. Whatever else he was about to say, he never got a chance to say it because at that moment we'd arrived at the boy's living space.

I quickly forgot about what I'd just said and the fact that Alternis hadn't responded to my question because the place was _huge_ and by my estimate, there had to be around seventy-five to one-hundred boys in the vicinity.

This area had to be about fifteen feet high and hundreds of feet in square feet. In the center of the heart of the sewer system was water and waste that was constantly flowing, but at a much gentler pace. Large make-shift rafts with tiny, threadbare tents floated around. Around the square were ledges big enough for two people to walk around, side by side.

It would have been my dream place as a child to explore and stay awhile in, were it not so dirty and apparent that everything here that the boys used to make their homes were so obviously discarded trash. Bits of metal, flimsy pieces of cardboard, wood and styrofoam...

Even worse were the boys here. They looked just as sickly as the band of boys that I'd allowed to take me prisoner. Their bones jutted out and as a result their gummy eyes looked too bright and big and hollow. I felt my throat close up just looking at them. There were so many abandoned boys here.

"Lo, give me the sword and take him to rest at his tent," Alternis ordered. The boy who had yelled at me earlier, looked annoyed at the command, but reluctantly handed Ise-No-Kami over to Alternis. Then he turned to the other boys and they headed off toward one of the rafts.

I watched them for a moment, guilt wracking my insides.

"He'll be okay," Alternis said. "I'm no medic, but the wound seemed shallow when I cleaned it."

"He's so small and fragile... I'm not so sure..."

"They look bad," Alternis admitted, "But we are resilient. We've always survived longer than the Floremese think."

My heart grew heavy at the way he said 'we'. Every time I looked at him, at how strong and lean and tall he was, I couldn't come to terms with the fact that he was once one of them. Maybe I didn't want him to be. Maybe I wanted all of him to myself, including this part of him. I swallowed, feeling horrible about that selfish bit. "You know better than I do," I said softly.

He turned to totally face me. His gray eyes looked almost black in the dim lighting. He took a deep breath. "About what you said earlier..."

"Forget it," I said, quickly. "I was out of bounds. This is important to you. What I need-"

"Is important to me too," Alternis finished quickly.

I smiled, but it was a wan, sad one. "My troubles are nothing to yours. You've waited for so long to see this place. Years. I've always thought you were so different from when you first came, but I can see now that there's still a small part of you who will always carry that Alternis who was small and bitter and angry. I hope... I hope you find what you're looking for here."

Alternis's eyebrows drew downward as he considered what I'd just said. He put a hand into his clothes, and withdrew a clean handkerchief. He placed a hand on my shoulder to steady me, and then began to wipe my face with it. I hadn't noticed, but in the turmoil, I'd gotten mud all over my face. I expected his touch to make my heart beat erratically, but at that moment, all I felt was incredibly moved. He pushed my tangled hair backward. "You were a mess," he explained, when he finally finished. It was hard to tell in the darkness, but his cheeks looked flushed, like it was incredibly embarrassing what he'd just done.

"Thank you," I mumbled.

"What happened to you?" he asked, his hand still on my shoulder.

Oh. That. My eyes swept away from his face. "It's nothing."

"It isn't nothing if you sought me out _here_ of all places and told me you were _dependent_ on me." His mouth nearly quirked in a smile as he said it, as if he found that idea extremely funny.

I sighed. We'd made so much progress already inside here. Alternis had opened up a lot more than I expected. I'd be a fool to stop the momentum.

But... I was apprehensive of how he'd react. Still, he deserved to know. Slowly, I began to recount the past few days. I told him about how I'd been laying low in Florem, and then Rose sought me out. I tried to be nonchalant when I told him how I'd gone walking at night and two guys had almost gang raped me. He didn't react much when I told him this, but his eyes darkened almost imperceptibly. Then I told him what Rose had told me - that Florem had no laws against rape and that I'd agreed to help fix it. I omitted the part about Rose's past and her face - it wasn't my secret to tell anyway. When I finished, I said, "Agnés is just so busy nowadays and I don't know who else to turn to for advice."

"Those men... do you think you could remember who they were?"

I wrapped my arms around my shoulders, hugging myself, and turning away from him. "I..." I was about to tell him their names. Even if their faces were only a nightmarish blur now, I recalled every single piece of dialogue with sharp clarity. "I don't know," I lied.

His eyes narrowed at that, but he didn't press me further. "You're right, Edea. I seem to have lost the goals I was living for before. Before Florem, my only purpose and duty in life were owed to the Lees. Within mere moments of being in this city, I seem to have regressed."

"Not mere moments," I responded, frowning. "You were anticipating this from the start, weren't you?"

"How do you mean?"

I recalled the start of our journey. How Alternis was so cold toward me, but eventually as we began to get closer I'd noticed him getting more and more aggressive. At the time, I thought it was merely our conflicting views. And perhaps it partially was since we were both so stubborn. But now I wondered if part of it was the fact that he had been preparing for his arrival in Florem. He'd fallen asleep in Ancheim, and dreamt he would kill a person, a she. I thought about the Sage's advice to me and shuddered. There were many women in Florem who Alternis probably hated, but there was only one he'd gotten a chance to get to know. Whose hatred was deeply personal. A face he could no longer recall, but whose scent and feel remained embedded in his memory.

"Your mother," I said. "It's her. That's what the dream was about. You wanted to kill her, didn't you?"

I didn't have to turn around, but I did. I saw the look in his eye, naked and resolute and filled with a crackling madness that overwhelmed me beyond belief. If I took a step back, all I could feel was sadness.

These eyes, so hard and firm, they'd given me a stronger affirmative than any words ever could.

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**Super short chapter compared to the last one, and yet... a lot more answers.**

**Whoa jeez. So it wasn't Edea, it wasn't Agnés... **


	16. The Bravo Bikini

**Sorry for the delay, but I'm sure y'all know the drill... I'm a horrible updater. ;_;**

**Anyway, without further ado!**

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"You're very quiet, Edea," Agnès commented.

It had been a few hours since I left Alternis and the sewers and I was now out in the palace's royal smithy, running a washcloth against Ise-no-kami. Ever since I acquired this sword, whenever it drew blood I always made it a point to clean it off quickly afterward. Blood tended to rust metal quicker and now that Master Kamiizumi was dead, I felt that cleaning the sword was even more imperative.

"Just thinking," I responded, slowly running my hands over the flat of the blade which was now clean. My mind was bursting with questions, none of which I had any adequate response to.

After I'd told him my suspicions and his silence had all but confirmed it, we hadn't spoken since. I simply walked around the premises, looking at the boys before finding my way out. Alternis gave me directions and I'd left without him, though my mind was buzzing with questions. How did a person grow up with so much hatred that they even considered killing their own mother? I thought about my own mother who had showered me with nothing but love and attention. I felt guilty because all this time, I'd taken her for granted. I couldn't bear the thought of her being dead, when I seriously thought about it though.

I knew that our situations were totally different though. Mother had been the most ideal mother anyone could ask for. But Alternis's mother sounded like she had really loved Alternis too. Had she not raised Alternis with love and care? It seemed that way to me, at least.

"You must be nervous," Agnès responded. "After all, tomorrow the festival begins."

"Oh..." I hadn't even thought about it since I visited Rose's salon. All of a sudden, I felt stupid and _wrong_ for participating in such a corrupt tradition. "Yeah, I suppose." I'd been slightly excited to have my hair and make up done, to look the prettiest I could, but now all I could think about was the unapologetic look in Alternis's face when I'd guessed it had been his mother. If I wasn't thinking about Alternis, I was thinking about the boys in the sewers and the way it had smelled and the way I could see the outlines of their ribs taut against their skin.

I knew Agnès was going to ask me what was wrong and I wasn't about to voice what I was brooding over yet. Instead, I asked, "How goes your sessions with the vestaling?"

Agnès slumped her shoulders. "I know not what to do. Each day the child seems less interested in becoming a vestal. It is vexing that I must do this alone. If only I had somebody who understood the Orthodoxy better than I did... somebody like Airy..."

If it wasn't very quiet in the room, I wouldn't have caught the last part about Airy, because Agnès had mumbled it. As it was, I had to make sure I'd heard correctly. "You can't mean Airy?"

Agnès turned her face sharply toward me. "I didn't say Airy. I said a Cryst-fairy."

I stared at her for awhile longer wondering if I just hadn't heard properly. Looking at Agnès's flushed face, I knew that I _had_ heard correctly. I opened my mouth, intending to push it further, but instead I said, "That would be useful."

The atmosphere in the room had turned sour between us. I hated this. I hated being this way where I wasn't telling Agnès anything about these past few days, and I knew I wasn't being honest with her but I simply wasn't ready yet.

What Agnès _did_ need to know however, what she had all the rights in the world to know about was the vestaling's history. So much had happened these past few days that I hadn't had the chance to bring up what I was certain of by now. I was utterly convinced that Victoria had killed the vestaling's mother, after thinking about it. "Perhaps the girl doesn't want to be a vestal because of the pain it might bring."

"Pain?" Agnès asked, her voice curious but there was also a touch of guardedness, as if she was expecting me to say something offensive. "What pain could a vestal bring? It is a high honor..."

I bit the inside of my cheek. High honor or not, I'd always privately felt that being a vestal was a very lonely, boring life. After hearing Agnès talk about how she'd rarely ventured outside her own temple and the fact that she basically was estranged and did not know who her real family was, I felt like being a vestal was too much of a sacrifice. I set those thoughts aside though and said, "You're right, it is a high honor. But you saw what happened to Olivia. She paid the ultimate price for simply being one."

"And that is the fault of wanting to be a vestal?" Agnès's voice was getting harder and harder with every response.

I realized how bad my word choice was. _Good job, Edea. You've offended her._ For all times I'd ever felt good about Agnès and I's easy friendship, I was now screwing it up royally. "That's not what I meant!" I said hastily. "Just that... the girl's mother was murdered. The Matriarch told me there were traces of very advanced dark magic. So I think... I think that..."

"You think what?"

Why did I feel so ashamed over Victoria's actions? It wasn't like I'd endorsed them. I shouldn't be responsible for them in any way. "I think that Victoria did that while she was here in Florem to take out Olivia. She wanted to make sure that the next vestal also wouldn't be able to take the position. She must've failed though because the girl got away..."

I watched Agnès's face change, absorbing this new piece of news. Unlike Alternis, Tiz, or Ringabel, she did not mask her emotions in the slightest. I watched pity well into her eyes, and then her eyebrows dipping into sharp anger. "So," she said quietly. "So that vile girl, that _arcanist_ is responsible for this girl's suffering? That is why you're telling me that she should not become a vestal?"

I tried to ignore the irritation that coursed through me, when Agnès called Victoria vile. I wasn't even sure why I felt irritated; Victoria never liked me from when we first met and Agnès was well within her rights to call her vile. However, for some odd reason I pitied her and felt an odd sense to protect her memory. I quashed that thought down, trying to get ahold of myself. Between Victoria and Agnès, I'd rather make sure my friendship with Agnès stuck. I moved toward Agnès. "No! That's not what I meant at all... Agnès, I only meant that she's _scared_ of being a vestal-"

"Because of the evil crimes your Duchy has committed against not only our Orthodoxy, but humanity itself!" Agnès was on her feet now, glaring at me, tears fresh in her eyes, but unwilling to fall. "That poor girl must suffer now!"

I took the attack silently, because now I knew why I felt guilty; the Duchy was where I'd grown up all along. Their teachings made me the person I was today.

"How long have you known about this?" Agnès turned away from me, as if she couldn't even bear to look at me. She was heading toward the door, but paused to hear my answer.

"For... for maybe a week..." I said nervously, after hesitating a moment. "Since we got here and I met with the Matriarch."

"Well I must thank you, Edea," Agnès said, her voice slightly brittle, but ultimately composed.

"Agnès, please don't be this way. I didn't mean... I'm sorry..."

"Thank you for withholding this information from me, until a week later. But at least you told me. For that, I am grateful that you did not completely betray me."

"Agnès," I said in frustration but she'd already left the smithy, slamming the door behind me. In frustration, I hurled my sword against the door. It sunk into the surface of the wood, quivering ominously. I let out a howl of rage. This was beyond any mrgrgr'ing I'd done in the past.

Just when I thought I was making progress with Alternis, progress I wasn't even sure I wanted, I was undoing everything in Agnès's and I's friendship. _Cool, Edea. Real smooth._

A moment later, I walked up to the door, wrenched Ise-no-kami off the door, and left feeling like the door I'd just put my sword through.

* * *

"It's skimpy," I said, eyeing the Bravo Bikini that hung in front of me.

"It's absolutely perfect," Rose said, hands on her hips, taking up space in the cramped changing room of her salon. "Whoever created this must be a master tailor."

_Or an absolute lech._

"At least half the voters will be men, and none of the ladies would dare bare quite as much skin. Your status as the princess-"

"I'm not a princess."

"Of Eternia has already created much buzz," Rose talked over me, as if she hadn't heard me at all. "Wearing this will give you an extra boost for the first day you're expected to parade around as a contestant. People will talk about you! Nobody has ever worn something quite so scandalous here. Especially when you consider the fact that on the second day, you'll be expected to perform a talent and I'm sure nothing you put forth will charm the audiences. The third and last day of the contest is when you must make a speech, and I can guarantee you won't be winning any favors there, if you'll be talking about laws and politics." I knew she was right about the third day. Talking about rape and the abandonment of boys at a beauty contest as well as peace amongst all of Luxendarc? That definitely wouldn't win me any favors at all.

I eyed the Bravo Bikini dubiously. True, I had taken a detour to the sage's house to get this hemmed to my size but suddenly I was doubtful of wearing it. I'd already regretted showing it to Rose. I'd never had qualms of showing off my body; after all I'd worn this same bikini when confronting Fiore DeRosa.

But ever since the attack, I felt uncomfortable wearing it. This outfit was _made_ for men who liked to leer, and there were plenty of leery men in Florem. Coupled with the fact that the men here knew, for the most part, that rape was not a crime I wasn't sure how comfortable I was wearing it. It had to be an easy garment to tear off and nothing protected or barred me from getting hurt.

"I can't wear this," I said.

Rose pursed her lips for a second. "When we first met, you were stubborn. My first impression of you was that you could and _would_ sacrifice anything for the sake of bringing peace and justice. I told you; this was really why I want you to win. Are you still willing to give it everything you've got?"

I bit my lip. "Give me some time... I'll wear it another day."

"There is no other way. There's only now. It's crucial we get you on the map before all the other girls manage to make their mark in whatever way they can. A first impression in this contest is key."

I looked at Rose and wished I was looking at Agnès or Ringabel or Tiz. How had it come to be that all three of my very best friends were now gone or unapproachable? I tried to think of what they would say in a situation like this but I knew Tiz would just tell me to do whatever I thought was best. I already knew Agnès would not wear the outfit; she hadn't personally herself due to the fact that she kept a more modest mindset.

Ringabel... I felt a slight throb of my heart at the thought of him. I'd barely spared a thought toward him in some time. Too much was happening in the present. I wished he was around to make some sort of silly joke. What wouldn't I give for that?

"Okay," I breathed.

Rose began to help me out of my dress. "I know you don't like it especially after what happened. But think about it this way, Edea. It's not about being sexualized."

"Oh?" I said sarcastically, because it very much felt like it to me. I caught myself rolling my eyes in the mirror opposite to the curtain opening.

"Okay, maybe it is," Rose said, and I detected a smile in her voice. "But there's nothing wrong with it if you _own_ up to it. Once you understand and respect yourself, not just in spite of these revealing clothes but _because_ of it, this won't be as degrading to you."

I rolled my eyes, even though she couldn't see me. What she said made little sense to me at all. I turned around as my dress fell to my hips. I struggled to take it off for a moment. I'd recently started gaining a little bit of weight because I wasn't practicing swordplay as much as I used to. I just hoped it wouldn't show when I wore the Bravo Bikini. I hoped that the Sage had imbued some magic into it so that, at the very least, I had no cellulite or fat rolls.

I watched Rose appraise my body in its nakedness. "Well, it's as I suspected. Not that I'll have to put much make up on your body but you don't have much cleavage so we'll have to create some there since there's no time for implants."

"I don't want implants!" I said loudly. "And there's nothing wrong with my breasts." But my face was burning as I said it. I'd undressed so many times in front of other girls before; in Master Kamiizumi's dojo, the girls bath house was a place where I'd seen my fair share of bare skin. But none of the other girls in the dojo had ever made disparaging remarks about how I looked.

The boys were another matter, and they often did remark how I was flat at the top but I'd never really paid them any mind. Now, as Rose said it, I felt inadequate and slightly hurt.

"Of course not," Rose said, quickly. "Nothing wrong with your breasts. I just think we need to give the audience an illusion that your chest is more in balance with your hips. Now, go change and wear these in that bra of yours." She handed me two gel-filled pads that I realized were suppose to push up my breasts even more. Then, she stepped out of the changing space and pulled the curtain shut.

"This is sexist," I muttered as I put on the bikini and bra.

"My dear, if you can't beat them, join them. And once you join them, defeat them from within. It's why I'm making you do all this, you know. They'll only start listening to you if they think you're one of them."

"Clever," I deadpanned, though inside I grudgingly had to admit it was a good plan. It seemed like Rose had been thinking about this for a long time. Longer than I had anyway which made me feel inadequate.

"Just put it on," Rose said. "I have to step out of the salon for a moment. My wife is helping set up my booth at the festival and she needs a few items."

"Your... wife?" I asked blankly.

"You know, I do have a life outside of taking care of you," Rose responded pointedly before exiting outside. "I'll be back in five minutes."

As I pulled on the gloves of my outfit and started attaching the boots, I thought about Rose. It wasn't exactly surprised that she'd had a woman as a lover; I'd already known that in Florem taking a woman as a spouse was actually the norm here, whereas taking on a husband as a spouse was very rare indeed. I suppose what really stumped me was the fact that Rose had a spouse at all. She seemed to be headstrong, always in charge, and very capable. I suppose I'd also never thought about the fact that she'd surrounded herself with anyone at all, especially after she'd been so thoroughly violated.

I wondered if her spouse knew how she looked like without all the make up on her face. I now knew that Floremese women were very protective over their real faces, and Rose had been loathe to show me how she really looked. Her wife had to be extraordinary to have Rose reach that point where she felt comfortable to even show _me_ it.

The shop door tinkled open and I asked through the curtain, "Did you forget something?"

"Edea? Is that you?"

Crystals, it was Alternis! I pulled the curtain shut even more. "Um... yes. It's me," I responded. "Just, er... getting changed."

I heard his footsteps travel toward me until he stopped a few feet away from the dressing curtain. I shrank away a little. "You have about an hour and a half before you're formally presented or so I'm told. You will then get another hour of being asked questions about your life. After that, it's imperative you spend all day in the festival talking to as many people as you can and making a lasting impression on them."

_I'll give them a lasting impression..._ I thought, looking down at my body. "That's great..." I said weakly. "Do you know who the other contestants are?"

"I confess, I have seen a few of them. Most seem to be celebrities. The Matriarch herself is also attending."

"That's... unexpected." And it was. A woman like the Matriarch to participate in such a girly tradition? That was surprising.

"She is actually required to participate as a formality, though. There's little chance she will actually get far in the competition."

I struggled with hooking up my bra. "So did you get the book like I asked from Kaimi?"

There was a short pause. "Yes."

"Did something happen?" I asked, interpreting his pause as something strange that had happened.

"Kaimi is an... interesting individual, so to speak."

My mood lifted. I tried to match his tone of voice with an expression but failed. It was still amusing. "Oh really?" I finally got the clasp on and checked to see if I'd done up everything else.

"She had a lot of questions about you."

"Me?"

"And about Eternia. And about me. Or rather... well, never mind."

"Tell me, Alternis," I commanded.

"She seemed to know Ringabel and mistook him for I."

"Oh," I said softly. My heart throbbed at that. I knew I shouldn't ask Alternis of all people, but I wanted to know. "What did she say about him?"

"He seemed very interested in the library. He seemed to want to know about Florem's history, like you do now."

I turned around in the tiny space, the gossamer fabric at my hips rustling as I did so. I stared at myself in the mirror uncomprehendingly. It was these little tidbits about Ringabel that I hadn't bothered to figure out when he was still in this world, that really got to me. In Ancheim, I'd discovered that he'd been with Durrah, but in Florem he too was searching for information. "Did she say what he was looking for?" I asked, appraising how I looked. With my face already made up, I couldn't fault Rose for her make up job, I thought grimly. I looked almost unnaturally beautiful.

"I know not. Apparently old records of shipping orders and such, concerning beauty products. And it seemed that he wanted more information on Fiore DeRosa."

I smiled at the old memory, despite DeRosa's name coming up. "I see." At that time, we'd been searching for ways to make Agnès win the beauty pageant. My smile turned wistful; it was the moment right before I'd confronted Einheria so my betrayal still hadn't completely hit me. I realized that was the last time I'd really ever been guilt-free. It was one thing to attack Heinkel and Ominas Crowe; I never really liked Crowe and Heinkel was merely an acquaintance. But Einheria...

I turned around, slowly drawing the curtains back, forgetting what I was wearing. My eyes first went to Alternis's face whose eyes were actually slowly appraising my whole body, his face growing redder and redder, until his eyes met mine. When he realized I'd caught him staring at me, he flinched a little. "I-I'm still here," he managed to choke out, averting his eyes from me. "Why have you not finished dressing?"

"This is it," I said.

His eyes drew back to me. "What?"

I threw my hands out, striking a cheesy pose. "This is what I'm wearing for the first display."

His gray eyes focused somewhere between my bra and face. "This is... The Lord Marshal... you can't be serious." He looked dazed and flustered. It was actually kind of adorable.

I smiled slyly. "Why? Does this bother you?" I took a step closer to him, so that I was only about a foot away from him. It was a rare moment that I'd completely caught Alternis off guard and Crystals be damned if I squandered it.

He shook his head, as if clearing his thoughts, holding his ground. "Me personally? What would your troops think? The Lord Marshal... if he were to see you _prancing_ around in your barest underclothes..."

"Who cares about what my father thinks? He's not here!"

"Edea, _put some clothes on, for heaven's sake_," Alternis hissed. "This place is crawling with lecherous men and I'll not have you..."

"You're not the boss of me," I said in a rather... well, _bossy_ way.

He blanched at that, his face turning slightly angry. He stared at me for one long moment, his gray eyes crackling with lightning that forced me to submit to him. Then his face went cool, and the moment was over which almost left me sighing internally with relief, but at the same time I was almost disappointed. I hated seeing him go back to that face of his that was in control. "Very well. Do what you will."

"I will," I said, intent on getting the last word.

"Good."

"Good."

He turned away from me, but some part of me was unwilling to let him go just yet. "W-wait! Alternis!"

He froze in his spot, his back still toward me. "Yes?"

_Crystals! What should I say? _There was a lot I wanted to talk to him about, and I blurted the first thing that I'd wanted to talk to him about all along. "Um... just that... I wondered if you could tell me whether or not you figured out anything. Uh, about your mother that is."

I couldn't be sure, but I saw him tense up slightly at the question. He half-turned to me, so that I could read his expression. "No."

"Do you know anything about her?" I pressed, folding my arms across my chest. "Or about your childhood memories?"

I watched his face screw up as if he was trying to remember. "I remember we were very well off. And, her name was Concordia. I often eavesdropped on her conversations with friends." He suddenly stopped, and fixed me with a guarded glare. "Why do you ask?"

I swallowed, choosing my words carefully. "I just don't think that... _revenge_ is the best sort of action to take..." I said, picking my words carefully. "Or rather, _your_ kind of revenge." Inwardly, I was disappointed he'd had a name to go by. In my weeks of being here in Florem, I'd never heard the name Concordia which meant it had to be an uncommon name. In Florem, the trend seemed to be that girls here went by names that were attributed to flowers like Rose, Petunia and Lily. A Concordia Dim who was wealthy? It wouldn't be hard to narrow down if one were to peruse a record of all registered citizens of Florem.

I saw his face grow brittle. "And what would you do about it? _Order_ me to not seek her out? You say revenge, Edea. I say this is _justice_. She left me for dead. What would you do in my position?" He didn't pause long enough for me to answer. "You wouldn't know the answer to that question. For you, your mother has always been a picture of what motherhood ought to be. She loves and supports you unabashedly despite her sickness. My own mother abandoned me, despite the fact that her duty was to bring me up. Do not claim you would know how you would act. So I ask you once more; would you order me to stop?"

There was so much anger and betrayal behind that cool facade that all I could say was, "Alternis, I won't order you to stand down." I took a deep breath. Every fiber of my being was screaming at me to do otherwise; even now I wanted to boss him around and tell him he was _wrong_ that _this_ was wrong and the fact that he was even entertaining it was scaring me to shreds. But I quashed these feelings down and continued, "But you should know that if our roles were reversed... I would be hurting as much as you, maybe even more, and I would want to seek revenge. But I would also want somebody to hold me back. I would _need_ somebody to hold me back, even if I said I didn't. I want to be that somebody for you." I willed myself not to back away from his stare, willed myself not to tear up or to look frightened.

I didn't know what he was thinking, but his silence stretched on. Finally he broke my gaze and muttered, "I am not hurting." He walked toward the door, and opened it, pausing at the threshold. The bells tinkled merrily at the door opening. "Thank you for not ordering me, Edea. But this is something I must do."

I watched him leave, watched the door swing shut behind him, thinking I'd made a horrible mistake. The bells chimed his good bye and I could only think that this was something I hoped I wouldn't regret.

There was only one thing I could do to prevent Alternis from killing his mother, I suddenly realized. And that was that it was suddenly imperative that either I wrap up my business in Florem as quickly as possible, or find Alternis's mother before he did. I had a lot more work in Florem than I would in any other region, I suspected, so I knew that I couldn't simply wrap up my visit here any time soon, which only left me one other option.

I could only hope that I could find Concordia Dim before Alternis did.

* * *

**LOL the amount of times I've delayed the Festival is deeply concerning me too, sorry guys. But obviously _next_ chapter the festival shall begin. I think I just needed to put this start-up out there before the festival began. **

**As it was detailed in this chapter, the festival has three parts to it: The presentation which we'll see in the next chapter, the performance which will showcase each contestant doing some sort of talent, and then the final day wherein the contestants must answer questions and then talk about how they'll use their newly crowned status, should they win type of thing.**

**Anyway, I can't believe this story has almost hit 100 reviews and 10.5K hits! Time really flies, huh? To think I started this more than half a year ago and now we're already at chapter 16 as well as more than 75K words! Definitely the most I've ever worked on something... Thanks for being so supportive, and as always I appreciate the reviews/follows/favs/hits!**

**See you next chapter!**


	17. The Spring Festival: Part 1

_Dear Mother,_

_Florem is a wonderful place, full of beautiful women. They all look like perfect angels perhaps because their most treasured possession is their appearance. Perhaps I am merely exaggerating, being culturally ignorant. I wish I could say I was enjoying Florem, but all I know is that I believe I would be better off not being here. The place is an awful mess. Simply staying here for a month or so wont solve some of the issues that run rampant here. I believe that I must at least attempt to understand why these problems are prevalent in the first place before I can even think about changing anything here._

_I know it has been quite some time since we've communicated. The ship's crew is well. I make sure they do not harass the women here. Agnès is busy with her vestal duties. As to how much progress she has made with the vestal, I know not. I am afraid I have failed her as a friend and it is a despicable feeling, knowing you have failed somebody whose company you cherish deeply. Before you ask as I'm sure you would, Alternis is... I wish I could say well, but Florem does not seem to agree with him. The place haunts him so, and I am afraid that the place putting him on edge might make him do something he may regret. I suppose while I am here I must ask you if you know a woman from a respectable family in Florem. Her name is Concordia. It is imperative I find this woman as fast as possible._

_In other news, the Spring Festival is going on and I am participating in the Beauty pageant. It's as horrible as it sounds, Mother, although I'm sure you would disagree since you have always seemed to love these sort of events. I'm not completely hopeless however; I have a Floremese woman coaching me who seems to know what she is doing. Though I enjoy feminine activities, you know I was alway rather hopeless at being a proper lady despite your best efforts._

_I do hope your health is as excellent as your spirits. I miss Eternia and cannot wait to return._

_Give everybody there my love,_

_Edea Lee_

* * *

Discreetly, I shifted in my seat, waiting for my turn. I was sitting in a tent. I was the fifth contestant set to go on stage, and the third - a Cress Jones - was already up. Amongst us, there were only twelve that had been chosen and everybody, save for perhaps the Matriarch herself, looked far more stunning than I did. I suspected that the only reason I'd been chosen as a contestant was because of my status.

Beside me, Rose was fretting more than I was, her eyes darting over my whole body for the millionth time. Her critical eye made me feel even more nervous. It wasn't like I wasn't used to attention - I'd gotten plenty of it in Eternia as the Grand Marshal's only daughter. Even in Master Kamiizumi's dojo, the spotlight was mostly on me even before I'd been able to prove myself.

But being noticed because of your father or for your skill for the sword was one thing; being noticed for your beauty was entirely another. I knew I was attractive enough back home, but here I knew I was out of my depth.

Fervently, I wished I had Agnès or even brooding Alternis. But neither of them were here. I sighed. "Stop making me nervous," I said, as Rose's eyes darted over me yet again to make sure not a hair was out of place. She'd twisted and tugged my hair into some sort of elaborate hairstyle that added at least another inch and a half to my overall height. She'd curled, spritzed and lathered and braided and the result had been some sort of elegant updo with curls hanging down my shoulders.

"Sorry," Rose whispered back.

Just then, I heard a woman call out the next contestant - Heather Woolf - and my heart went into overdrive.

"Remember how I told you to walk. You absolutely _cannot_ trip, otherwise you'll be in for a disaster. Keep your answers short and bubblegum sweet. Don't talk about the real stuff until day three."

"I know, I know," I muttered. Or at least I hoped I knew. I tried not to think too much about the fact that there was too much at stake here. If I messed up in the slightest, Florem may very well be lost to me. My stomach clenched at that.

Rose knelt in front of me, her anxious eyes softening for just a moment. "I know you know." She took a deep breath. "You have nothing to worry about, you know? I said I'd make you win because I mean it. If anybody can shift Florem in the right direction, it's you." She took my hands in hers, a simple gesture of reassurance.

I stared back at her, squeezing her hands tightly. "No, Rose. It's you. You're the one that made this all possible. Without you, I don't know what I would have done."

She giggled softly. "Tell me something I don't know."

At that moment, I heard the announcer's voice power through, "And next up, Eternia's sweetheart, Edea Lee!"

She squeezed my hands even tighter. "That's you," she whispered as she got up. She pulled me to my feet and patted my bare shoulder. "Break a leg. But, y'know, not literally."

I put on my brightest smile, even if I wasn't feeling it, and I walked outside. I tried to make sense of Rose's advice about owning my sexiness and strutted down the stage that had been prepared for the contestants. There was the predictable, collective gasp - my Bravo Bikini was definitely making waves.

"Edea Lee, on the cusp of turning nineteen, is the father of Braev Lee, Grand Marshal of Eternia. Currently, she is traveling Luxendarc and we are so honored to have her here. Her accomplishments include mastery of the sword, flower arranging, and visiting bakeries. Her greatest weakness is, as she says, her sweet tooth. Let's give her a warm welcome."

Despite my nervousness, I couldn't help but think, _flower arranging? _I knew that the only person I had to blame here was Rose and probably myself. When it came to the "so-called" feminine arts - that was to say dancing, singing, etcetera - I knew I had little experience. I'd been too busy practicing fighting and being molded into the person my father wanted me to become. It was true, that I had many girl friends who had made sure I knew somewhat how to act like a girl, but on the whole I was useless compared to the women around here. I was almost sure that Rose had picked flower arranging because it was the easiest. There was no way I could mess up flower arranging during the talent portion.

The thought made me smirk, as I sashayed down the catwalk. Though Rose had instructed me to look like I was unflappable by looking straight ahead, I searched the crowd, expectantly looking for Agnès or Alternis. I felt a pang in my heart as I couldn't find them.

Of course neither would show up. Agnès was mad, and I was sure she was making up for lost time with the vestaling. Alternis was likely searching for Concordia.

I wondered what kind of woman Concordia was. In this sea of women who stared at me, she could be looking back, and I could never know.

I reached the end of the catwalk, cocked my hip to the side in what I hoped would be a cool pose, totally aware that every woman was critically analyzing my body, scrutinizing for any apparent blemishes or rolls of fat. Fortunately for me, between the Sage's masterful tailor expertise and Rose's extraordinary talent for contouring it was all hidden.

Then, I turned on my heel and confidently walked down the walkway. I was aware that the applause given to me was almost a little stunned. It definitely was not the loudest - Cress Jones's had a deafening roar to it, if I recalled correctly. I tried to hold my head up the whole time, telling myself that this was the kind of reaction I needed. _Applause is not what you need, Edea. I just need to be on the radar. I need people to know who I am, not just a famous foreigner._

Toward the end of the runway, as I was exiting, I stumbled a little - I wasn't too used to wearing heels this high just yet - and the back of my neck burned. There were a few titters that rippled through the crowd, and somehow, I wasn't sure _how_, but the applause became just a tiny bit louder. Or maybe I was just imagining it in an attempt to cover up my mortification.

I could only hope that the rest of the festival ran far smoother.

* * *

Wandering around the festival was a sight in itself, though I thought I could've done without the ogling. Everywhere I turned, people whispered and pointed and I had a tough time trying to make it look as if the stares didn't faze me. I should be used to this, I told myself. I'd grown up as, perhaps one of the most talked about girls in Eternia, aside from the girls in the moving pictures and music industry in Eternia.

I still didn't know where I was on the radar for Florem's women though I knew that during my interview which only lasted about five minutes, they hung on to every word even though the interview itself consisted of easy to answer questions. The host, Lavendar Ippswitch, asked questions like where I was from, what it was like in Eternia, and even my relationship with Agnès and how I, as one of the faces of Anti-Crystalism got along so well with the sole vestal of the Crystal Orthodoxy. That had been particularly hard to answer.

_"When you've gone through the things Agnès and I have gone through, things like our personal beliefs seem a little small in comparison." _I'd felt like a cheat saying that; it was obviously not true. Her duties and my duties were putting a strain on our relationship.

Thinking back to that answer made me flush again. I tried to stamp it out. Somebody had to notice that I was here with virtually no companions; surely they'd wonder where Agnès was that she couldn't even show her supposed best friend any support. Moodily, I remembered how much I'd craved walking around Ancheim alone and Alternis had refused. Now I'd give anything to have a friendly face beside me.

I tried to seek out Rose; I knew she was somewhere around here with her wife. They were probably at her stall though I wasn't sure where that might be. The festival square was so enormous I wasn't sure if I'd have time to find it. Stalls and booths both big and small lined up every single street. I wasn't sure if their stall would be garish like some of the stalls here, or plainer.

I visited a few stalls that caught my eye; a stall that sold paintings, one that was bursting with make up, and quite a few that held clothes.

It became even more of a chore walking around, when after an hour or so of wandering around and talking to shopkeepers, the men began to approach me. I found it annoying, almost irritating. I tried to be as courteous as possible - after all, Rose had told me that getting the male vote was just as important as getting the female vote - but it was proving difficult. For one, they found any excuse to touch my bare skin. Discreetly stopping them from doing so by moving away or calmly removing their hands from me was not my style. Where was my sword when I needed it?

At one of the later stalls, I finally bumped into a familiar face, even though it wasn't one I wanted especially to see. It was still better than being surrounded by pawing men.

"Praline!" I called out to the entertainer who was lingering by a stall bursting with lacy corsets. "Excuse me, but that's my friend, and I'd really appreciate if you'd let us have a moment," I told them. Before they could protest, I bounded off.

The normally voluptuous blonde turned toward me in apparent confusion, her face going momentarily slack as she took in my outfit. Finally, a sour look came over her and when I approached she said, "Oh, it's _you_."

"Thanks for being so welcoming," I mumbled.

She tossed her hair back and in the process it whipped into my face. "I have every reason to, you know," she sniffed. "You ruined my life, you know."

I turned my head sharply toward her - I knew Praline was a total diva, but I wasn't in the mood to have additional blame heaped on me. "Oh please. At least I didn't kill you." Like I had with most of the asterisk bearers.

"Killing me would have been more merciful," Praline said, as she picked up a corset that was white with blue ribbons laced in. "Excuse me, but what's the lining made of?" She thrust the corset out to the seller.

"I believe it's made of the strongest whale bone that Florem's coast lines have to offer."

I shot a furtive look toward the shopkeeper, but she already seemed busy with another customer. "What are you talking about?" I demanded. "Why would you say that?"

Praline put the corset down and faced me, her large blue eyes suddenly filling with angry tears. "You may see yourself as the true hero of Luxendarc, Edea Lee. But you've yet to see any of the consequences your actions have taken. Let me fill you in on something. You may not have liked it, but the Black Blades were like my family. I was noticed, and I felt like what I was doing was for a good cause."

I snorted. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "The Black Blades caused nothing but destruction!"

She rolled her eyes. "I don't know why I'm here explaining myself if you still see things in black and white, Edea. You only got the chance to see one side of the story because the only people you knew were the Shieldbearers who wanted the Orthodoxy to continue to influence their government."

I was a little stunned that _Praline_ out of all people was talking to me about this. I never would have thought she were capable of having a conversation about war and politics. "That's not..." I stuttered, but I couldn't be sure. "But Qada...!"

Praline looked at me in disgust. "Qada was a horrible little man! None of us even liked him and none of us knew what he was doing. It's why Kamiizumi killed him, you know."

"Kamiizumi? As in Master Kamiizumi?" I asked blankly. The last I remembered was that Tiz, Ringabel, Agnès and I had finished him off. I remember actually enjoying finishing him off, compared to most of the other asterisk bearers.

"Yes, as in _Nobutsuna_ Kamiizumi."

I wanted her to elaborate more on him, but she was already rambling on, as if she hadn't noticed my confusion. "But let me ask you this, Edea. If the Shieldbearers had the same kind of chemicals and if they were fighting a losing war, do you think they wouldn't have dared to use them? The Swordbearers were the minority here; they were driven to desperation because they didn't want to go back to the old ways. They represented change and I loved that about them."

Her eyes adopted a faraway look, as she began to remember. There was something wistful and alive in her expression that I noticed hadn't been present on both times I'd encountered her in Florem.

"Why did you leave Florem in the first place, Praline?" I asked, forgetting completely about her curious insinuation that Kamiizumi had actually killed off Qada.

It was like I wasn't even there. "I always wanted to be a singer," she said. "I always wanted people to look at me and to love me for my talent. But I couldn't do that in Florem. Not when all singers here were chosen based on their looks. I was always curvier than the average female and my hair..." she trailed off, running her fingers through her hair. Then she seemed to remember herself and narrowed her eyes at me, snapping, "Anyway, what's it to you? I was forced back here, and now I haven't sung a tune since. It's like having your limbs cut off so you can't fight anymore. I'm practically dead, thanks to you."

I raised an eyebrow, but I could see her point, even sympathize with her if she put it that way. But it also gave me an idea. "What if you could sing again, Praline?"

"Don't be ridiculous. People take one look at me when I say I want to sing and they laugh. It's _awful_."

"But what if you could?" I insisted. It was a crazy idea, but I thought it just might work.

I saw something in Praline's eyes shift. All she had to say with an uncertain tone was, "What did you have in mind?" for me to know that I had her hooked.

* * *

It was beginning to grow dark and I knew I didn't want to be alone when night completely fell. The men were as leery as ever and as the sun began to sink, I observed that there were less and less women on the streets. I couldn't tell if this was because they'd found men to copulate with or if they simply were nervous about being out at night. Like I was.

_There's no reason to be scared, Edea_, I thought to myself, forcefully. I could protect myself the same as I did the last time. I had overtaken two men, hadn't I?

But the hair at the back of my neck still prickled with gooseflesh and all the people I was with were unfamiliar. It was probably best to be back at the Matriarch's quarters before I was attacked. I realized uneasily that I was an easy target and that even though I did best two men, there could very well be more, considering the fact that more men knew I was on the radar. Heart quickening as the sun set, I began to quickly try to find my way out of the festival, but I couldn't escape the feeling that somebody was following me.

Whipping my head around, I couldn't see anyone. Just people talking or heading back home. I wished I had eyes at the back of my head. Luckily, I was a little more familiar with Florem now to know a shortcut home. The only problem was that it involved a long alley, not unlike the one I was nearly raped in, to take it. If I took it, I'd be completely alone and would risk a higher chance of no help coming for me, if I was attacked.

But with no rape laws I figured nobody would help regardless. I sighed. The thought of being safe within my quarters was promising. I didn't want to talk to anyone. In my mind, I prayed to the Crystals that nothing would happen and started toward the alley.

Before I could even have a chance to do so, a rough hand circled around my wrist jerking me back. "What's the rush,_princess_?"a voice said. It was a voice that made me freeze.

Slowly, I turned around. It was Vlad, but his face looked awful. The bruises of the many times I'd driven my heel into his face were only just beginning to heel and his nose looked broken. Next to him was Ivan whose face I'd spared.

"Nice face," I said as pleasantly as I could as I attempted to wrench my hand away from him. His hand circled tighter around my wrist as he backed me into wall.

"You think?" Vlad said, his voice almost a snarl. "I think so too. The worst part is, I never got payment for it."

"Sometimes I do these things for free," I said. "What can I say? I'm a nice person. Now if you could just let me leave..."

"I don't think so, babe," Ivan responded. "Y'see, we're nice people too. We _insist _on getting your payment. Now the way I see it, you've got two options."

"Only two? Well I suppose it's an improvement from the last time we met," I shot back. I refused to let them see any weakness. _This won't be like last time_, I told myself, but panic was already beginning to grip my fingers.

Vlad's face split into a smile. He looked even more grotesque. "Well, we're generous men. We could fuck you right here on the streets, give you a bastard child. Everybody on this street would witness the next heir to the Eternian throne."

"You could let me go," I said straining to make my voice as level as possible.

His smile turned slightly sympathetic. "I don't think so. We could also give you a bastard child in private. In that alley," his eyes shifted to the very alley I'd been planning on choosing. "So with an audience or without one?"

I could feel the roughness of the brick wall digging into my back, and shame creeping up my neck as I looked away from his face. I looked to my left and all I saw nobody paying attention, nobody caring. Nobody to come to my aid. A few women looked our way, but glanced away, clearly uncomfortable. They knew what was to happen next. They just didn't know how to prevent it.

I closed my eyes, blocking out Vlad's face. I didn't have two options. I could fight them again, and I could win.

I could, couldn't I? Doubt clouded my mind, and just as I was about to tell Vlad and Ivan to go screw themselves, I felt something slam into the wall above me. I flinched, opening my eyes to look up. It was an forearm, and that forearm was connected to...

Alternis.

I felt my legs go weak as I stared up at his face but he wasn't looking at me. His body was right beside me, closing in on me but he was looking at Vlad and Ivan and there was an expression on his face that I'd never seen before on his face. It was pure rage, a look he had never directed at me before, and privately hoped he never would. If he could kill with just one look, it would be this one. It was this expression, I realized with sudden clarity, that must've made my Father see that he could make a perfect Dark Knight.

"Is there a problem?" he asked me, though his eyes were still on them, his voice sounding like fire encased in ice.

The part that had lied to him about not knowing Vlad and Ivan's names back in the sewers was completely gone. I was mostly ashamed of myself, but there was a small part of me that recognized that I wanted them gone for good. I wanted to never see their faces again and most importantly, I didn't want to feel as helpless as I did now.

"It was them," I whispered. And then I said it louder. "They were the ones from the other night that I told you about."

I saw the smile and bravado on Vlad's face, what little was left of it anyway, vanish completely. "We'll be going," he said. He and Ivan took a step away from me and rushed off. Alternis kept his eyes trained after him, his eyebrows furrowed as deeply as possible.

I slid to the floor, catching my breath. It was like I'd run a marathon even though I hadn't moved an inch from my spot. Alternis heard me gasping for breath and turned around, watching me.

"I'm okay," I said, feeling even more pathetic. "Go," I said. Except, I wasn't sure if I wanted him to go or not. I wanted Ivan and Vlad gone forever. I wanted them dead, but having Alternis by my side was a comfort.

He hesitated, then shifted. "No you're not." He knelt on the ground by me, and shielded me from any onlookers.

"How did you find me?" I asked, trying to keep my breath steady.

"I was keeping an eye on you. Not the whole time, otherwise I would have stepped in sooner if I was," he confessed. "I understand you don't appreciate me following you but..."

"It's fine," I said, even though it wasn't. It wasn't that I was necessarily mad at Alternis; after all he had come at the exact time I needed him. It was just frustrating that I had to rely on him.

"No it's not," he responded stubbornly. "Stop saying that." He stood up, grabbing my wrist to heave me up with him. "We need to get you somewhere quieter. People are watching."

My legs weren't working properly, but if I stopped thinking about what had happened five minutes ago, I could pretend the fear didn't exist and therefore, could walk and talk without the weakness I'd grown to hate. We headed down the alley, the chatter and hubhub of the festival gradually disappearing, until it was finally just a gentle murmur.

His fingers were still wrapped around my wrist, but I found the warmth radiating through his gloved hand comforting so I didn't say anything, even though I was well aware that this was the kind of hand holding a parent would do their own child. When I finally felt I was able to talk, I said, "Thank you for what you did." My voice sounded strange, almost blank.

His grip on my wrist loosened, but was still firm. "I was just doing my-"

I shook my head, though he probably wasn't looking at me, so he couldn't see me. "It shouldn't have to be your job to look out for me. Especially since you have your own problems here."

"Your father asked me to keep an eye-"

I slipped my hand away from his almost reluctantly. "Stop it, Alternis." My voice sounded coarse now, and perhaps that was alarming to Alternis because he stopped and faced me, his eyebrows slightly raised. His hair was longer now than it had been when we first started our journey. It was also slightly unkempt.

"What?"

"This whole time you've been getting mad at me for treating you like an employee. But now I wonder if... if being around me is just a job or..." I trailed off.

He sighed. "Your father asked me to keep an eye out for you."

I somehow expected that answer but it was still disappointing to hear. "I thought so." I felt pathetic even asking the question in the first place but his answer had only made me feel worse.

I'd always cared about Alternis. When I was younger, he'd always looked out for me, so it was hard to _not_ care for somebody who you'd grown up with and who showered me with affection, even if I hardly thought about him when he was gone. But for these past few months when I _really_ started to get to know him, something was gradually changing inside me and I was afraid to face it.

I thought back to the time when Alternis had confronted us on Grandship and had passionately cried out that he'd hoped I'd be his bride someday. Back then, even though there was a lot going on, my answer would have been no. And maybe still even today, the answer might still be no. But now, I thought of the _if_.

If I'd said yes, what might have happened? Would it have been a mistake?

Would I be standing here, feeling as utterly alone and vulnerable as I did right now?

"Edea? Are you... shivering?"

I didn't know if thinking like this was because I felt totally disconnected to everybody else in the world. Maybe Alternis's response affected me so deeply because I didn't seem to have anybody else to fall back on. Father, Mother, Tiz, Agnès and Ringabel...

"I was just thinking," I said, "I guess I should be grateful to my father. If he hadn't told you to keep an eye out for me, I probably would've..." I didn't want to think of the worst possible case.

He took a step closer to me, taking off one of his gloves. "You would have beat the seven hells out of them," he said, pressing a hand to my forehead. "You didn't need me there."

"I guess not," I said. I was still shivering, but it wasn't even cold outside. It was a balmy evening. I didn't know why I was shivering. "I don't need you at all."

He took his hand away from my forehead. "Well, it's not a fever." There was a small pause. And then he added quietly in answer to my previous statement, "I know."

A shiver, more violent than the others, rippled through me. I wrapped my arms around my body, watching him walk away before I silently followed after him, a few paces behind.

We said nothing else until we got to the Matriarch's place. There, Alternis turned around. "I'm going after them, Edea." He said this like there was no room for argument.

The thing was, I wasn't about to argue with him. I already knew Alternis well enough to know that he wouldn't be traumatized if he killed them. Alternis had killed so many other people in cold blood that adding two potential rapists under his belt wouldn't traumatize him. "Don't," I said.

Alternis's eyebrows furrowed deeply and I saw his mouth open to protest.

"Not right now at least," I said. I could not stop shivering, and I think now I knew why. "I want to come with you. I deserve this as much as you do."

I watched him think it over. Weeks ago, he would've immediately protested. Now, he just nodded once.

"But," I said, as my knees wobbled. "I don't think I can put up a fight right now. I'm... I need a moment. I don't think I can handle any more today."

I felt Alternis steady me. I wasn't going to cry this time, but his touch made my shoulders sag in relief. I didn't know where else to turn. Rose was absent, Agnès was gone, and the last time I'd received word from Mother was before I'd gotten a reply from Father. Perhaps that was why I said it.

"Could you hold me?"

I felt his arms freeze up against me, and for one horrible moment, I thought he'd refuse. I was almost about to choke out a laugh and say I was joking, that I was okay and maybe just dwell on my stupidity in the privacy of my own room.

But the insecurities all vanished in the moment his arms circled around me and drew me to his chest. His touch was surprisingly gentle arm. I felt one arm drop to my waist, while the other wrapped around my shoulders and I was wholly enveloped in his warmth and scent. He smelled like rain on a hot day, the ghost of a thousand experiences happy and sad and overbearing.

I closed my eyes and clung to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face in his chest. He squeezed me tighter against him, and I thought I felt his cheek against the top of my head.

"Okay," he said after my shivering began to subside. His voice was so quiet, just an octave higher than a whisper. "We'll do this together."

* * *

**It's been a super long time guys, but I'm happy to get back into this. I'd originally meant to post this up the end of March/beginning of April but my laptop's hard drive essentially died and couldn't be retrieved. I, being a not-so-responsible person did not back up my files, so I had to reset everything last week (I'd been holding off on it because I thought there could be some way I could salvage my old files, but after making a bunch of calls, it was a no go). So essentially my laptop's almost brand new... except that it's nearing it's seventh birthday, hahah. I have practically nothing on here. It's time I get a new one, since this one's battery has been really bad for the past few years and I feel like the hard drive might crash again since this my laptop's kind of old.**

**I was also thinking about writing a high school AU for Bravely Default, told in Ringabel's voice. I have a bit of the plot charted out, so I might post up the first chapter whenever I get a chance to, but don't worry; this fic is still my main focus. The other will just be a side project of sorts.**

**Anyway, here's a chapter from me to compensate. I'm going to try and put an update before the beginning of May because I'll be going to overseas to India for two weeks which means very little time to update while I'm there since I'll have practically no internet access and will be really busy.**

**A lot of this chapter deals with the beginnings of where everything is going to go next. Next chapter we'll hopefully have more about Alternis's backstory... well, at least a lot of it will deal with Edea trying to figure out who Concordia is and grappling with the homeless boys. What does she have planned for Praline? Well, I'm sure it won't be too hard to figure it out.**

**I'm actually kind of a little sad there was no Agnès in this chapter, heh. A lot of this chapter was basically setting up/filler. Ah well, at least the festival's finally begun! The first of at least 3-4 chapters of this festival at least.**

**Anyway, as always reviews/follows/favs/anything is appreciated. I can't believe we've hit the 100 review mark! To put things into perspective, I never thought this fic would go past a one-shot, let alone beyond 20 chapters (and it probably will go beyond 30 at the rate I'm updating at), so thank you guys a lot. Your support means a lot to me.**

**-TSE**


	18. The Spring Festival: Part 2

That very night, I cracked open one of the book that Kaimi had left with Alternis. To my dismay, there wasn't just one book she'd left; there were five volumes, the thinnest of which was the width of my palm.

I stared at the volumes, aghast. There was no way I was going to find any answers today. Not if I had any help. So I'd invited Alternis into my room to pore over the books.

"What exactly are we looking for?" Alternis asked, setting down heavily at the table which stood nearby the window. He was about as fond of studying as I was and I suspected he was only doing this because I'd asked and because he was scared that I still dreaded being alone. He wasn't wrong there; the prospect of sleeping alone at night made me nervous.

I ran my hands over my face. "I want to know why, after all these years, a society like this ended up without rape laws. I feel that if I know more about the history of Florem, I'll appeal to the women here more about making changes to the legislatures."

He sighed heavily. "Edea, it's highly possible that this sort of information wouldn't be in here at all." He glanced anxiously outside the window; I know he yearned to be anywhere but here, but I was selfish enough to pretend to ignore it. Inside, I felt a little guilty, but my reasons for keeping Alternis by my side also served another purpose; if I could keep an eye on him, I'd know that he wasn't searching for his mother. After the festival was over, I planned to visit the library and ask Kaimi if there was an official record of all registered citizens of Florem. I knew that Eternia had one, though ours was located in our national court of law.

"I know," I sighed. "But I still feel like we should look." I also appreciated Alternis by my side. He was dependable, and always there when I needed him. Beyond the armor, there was a man who cared about me and would do anything for me, whether I wanted it or not. I was stupid for realizing how good of a thing these things were once he left. Even now, he was here despite not wanting to be.

"Something on my face?" Alternis asked, looking up from his reading to meet my eyes and I realized I'd been staring at him like a moonstruck fool.

"What? No! Not really," I said, sounding less sure with each sentence. I decided to just shut up.

He didn't pause, going back to his book. "Let's get through these as fast as possible. You need sleep."

I flipped open the first tome and began reading the first line. It was absolutely boring, starting off with a comparison of dirt between Florem, Ancheim and Caldisla. I was sure there was a metaphor there, but I couldn't figure it out. I reread it three more times, before skimming down the paragraph before something caught my eye. _Camilla Thorne was the second daughter of five born to the Thornes who were servants to Harold Caldisla, the wealthiest merchant in Mysidia._

Caldisla? I frowned. I wasn't aware that was a last name. And where was Mysidia? Interest finally piqued, I read on. Camilla Thorne lived an impoverished but happy life. Her father was a loving person, and her mother and sisters were sweet. But everything changed once Camilla and her sisters were married off. Amongst the five sisters, four of them were married to men who either drank, cheated, gambled away their savings, or were abusive. Camilla's husband was a drunk and was hardly abusive, except that he often left very little for Camilla and her children to live off of. Two of her children had died from starvation, which was horrifying in itself. To protect her last child, her only son, Camilla had gathered her sisters and had boarded a ship, never to be seen again. This information had all been found from Harold Caldisla's journal so Camilla's account ended from his journal ended there.

The rest of the information came from Camilla's son, who documented their life together. Camilla and her three sisters, along with their children, were responsible for starting Florem.

Camilla's son's account of the beginnings of their society were rather devoid of life. His accounts of their life were reduced to what they hunted and cooked and his longing to go back to Mysidia. The beginnings of Florem were harsh, and one of Camilla's sisters eventually died one unusually bitter winter whereupon it actually had snowed (snow was apparently a rarity in Florem).

I shifted in my seat and yawned. The rhythmic ticking of the clock made it easier to drift off. I stared blearily at the page I was open to. Perhaps just a two minute nap might help me focus a little more. I rested my head on the page, and I heard a collection of voices. The most prominent one was chillingly blank. But in the background, I could hear Ivan too, smiling as he spoke.

_Go to sleep, Edea. There must always be an end no matter what you do. Nothing matters after death. Not the vestals, not Florem, not Eternia... Go to sleep._

I wanted to see who was talking, so I looked up and saw my mother. She had one of the gentlest smiles I'd ever seen and she opened her arms which I leaned into.

"I missed you so much," I told her, nuzzling into her warmth. "I just want to go home."

_I know_, she responded, and this time she sounded like Ouroborous. _I'll take you._ And she began to squeeze me hard, harder until I was almost choking.

I felt a stinging blow to my face and I gasped for breath, momentarily disoriented.

It was dawn, and Alternis was beside me on the floor, clutching his face, his blond hair wet and down. He had a bathrobe on.

"What happened?" I panted, as I stared at him. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," he wheezed, still hiding the bottom half of his face with his hand. "I'm sorry. I walked in and saw you like this. I had to wake you up. You were struggling."

"I... I was asleep?" I asked. "Did _I_ hit you?"

Alternis groaned, turning away from me. "Yeah. I was trying to restrain you but..."

"Are you _bleeding_?"

"No!" Alternis said wiping at his nose hastily with his sleeve. I saw a tiny streak of blood on the white sleeve. He lifted his head up to face the ceiling, trying to staunch the blood flow.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, looking away. "I didn't mean to."

"I know," he said. I could have sworn there was faint smile on his face when he said, "You sure can hit."

I still felt guilty, even though I knew he was trying to cheer me up. "How long was I out for?"

"A good six hours perhaps. You fell asleep around midnight. It is now around six hundred hours. You're due to report to Rose's salon by seven, where she'll prep you for the talent portion. Your performance is at thirteen-thirty."

I rubbed my neck wearily; it was sore from how I'd slept last night. "Were you here the whole time?" I asked.

Alternis nodded. "I was reading until four o'clock, before I went out for a bath."

His hair was wet as if he'd just gotten back from the shower, and he didn't strike me as a person who bathed for two whole hours. It pissed me off that he was lying to me, so I glared at him, trying to discern if he felt any guilt at all for telling such a blatant lie. I tried to quell my anger by saying it was only two hours. There was no way Alternis could have done anything _too_ drastic for an hour and a half, right? Like murder his mom. Or Ivan and Vlad. "Right," I said. "A bath."

I couldn't tell if he detected the anger in my voice because all he said was, "What were you dreaming about?"

The last thing I wanted to talk about was my dream. "Rainbows and butterflies," I retorted, turning around to my wardrobe and picking out day clothes.

"Rainbows and butterflies?" Alternis asked, blankly.

"That's how this works right? If we don't want to discuss something, we lie about it?"

"Lie?"

I shoved aside a floral dress for dark colored pants. I felt ashamed at my anger, but I pushed it away to ask, "Where were you for two hours, Alternis? Don't tell me you were in the shower."

There was a stiff, calculated pause before Alternis said, "You're upset I supposedly lied to you about where I was for an hour and a half?"

"Good thing you're smart," I all but snarled, snatching up a bow and tunic. I grabbed a towel too before facing Alternis again who looked bemused at my behavior. Deep inside, I knew I was being a jerk but I was too cranky to care. It had not been a good night. I had only barely scratched the surface of Florem's history, I had a talent show to perform in the afternoon that was totally bound to fail, and on top of it all, I had to find Alternis's mother before he committed matricide.

I briefly wondered how much it said about me, that I still cared so much about Alternis when he had the capacity to commit such an evil act.

"Slow down. I think you're overreacting. I was just-"

"Forget it. I need a bath." I went to the bathroom adjoining my room and shut it. I noticed that somebody had already placed buckets of fresh hot water. Could it have been Alternis? I sighed, undressing. He was the only person who I could think of. As I took off my underclothes, I noticed the bright red adorning my underwear and realized I'd gotten my period. I let out a frustrated huff of breath. This was not going to be a fun day.

When I got out, Alternis was gone, but he'd left a note at the table where the books were.

_E_

_I've already gone out. To explain myself further, what I was doing was placing additional eyes for Ivan and Vlad at the festival. Theo's got a squad scoping the premises and agreed to alert me should anything arise._

_I have other affairs to attend to, so I must be off. I'll be back in time to see your talent._

_Alternis_

_P.S. Please actually wear something this time around when you decide to expose yourself to the public._

The postscript made me roll my eyes, but other than that I felt like a fool. It also bothered me that Alternis had omitted the fact that he'd posted additional men to look out for me. Perhaps he thought I wouldn't have appreciated it.

When I went down for breakfast, the Matriarch was already sitting there spreading jam thickly on her toast. "A good morning to you, Edea," she said. "Did you enjoy yesterday?"

Her flowery perfume assailed my nostrils like it had the first time, but I tried not to gag. I was starting to get used to the fact that Florem seemed to be permanently doused in all types of flowery perfumes, although I had to note that the Matriarch's was unique. I chalked it up to the fact that perhaps, as the leader, she was allowed a unique scent. "It was... fun," I lied.

She smiled tremulously. "It is quite nerve-wracking, isn't it? The first time I was chosen as a contestant, there was so much pressure..." she trailed off, and I presumed she was reminiscing.

I grabbed a doughnut glazed with chocolate icing and bit into it, refraining to comment on how our situations were totally different. For one, I was trying to save the world. For her, it was just a beauty contest.

I wiped my mouth after I finished and started after a glass of milk. "Can I ask you something?" I asked abruptly.

The Matriarch looked almost surprised, then a little uncomfortable as if she wasn't used to being confronted in such a blunt way. "Anything, my dear."

I pursed my lips, trying to figure out how best to phrase the question. In the end, I blurted, "Why aren't there any laws that protect women against rape in Florem?"

She blinked at me. "Well, that is... I suppose," she stammered. She stopped trying to speak for a moment, and I didn't say a word, instead waiting for her to respond. I wanted to know what she thought. Maybe the answer was right in front of me this whole time. Who would know better than the Matriarch herself?

When she finally seemed to regain her composure she had a weak smile on her face. "You're a smart girl, Edea. Why don't you tell me. What do you know thus far about Florem? How it began, for instance?"

I thought back to Camilla, the woman who had supposedly started this place. "Well... it seemed like it started off as an escape. She wanted to escape her husband's neglect."

She raised her eyebrows. "You've been in the restricted section of our library, haven't you?" But she didn't look angry. "Yes, you're right. Camilla and her sisters came here to escape the brutality and neglect of their husbands. Others followed afterward when they heard rumors of a safe haven for women. I'm sure I don't have to tell you what a dangerous place Luxendarc can be, especially when there is a clear gap between men and women when it comes to the way power is distributed."

"It still doesn't make sense," I insisted. "If this was supposed to be a safe haven, why do the women here overlook rape? In fact, shouldn't that be one of the main reasons that they should have strict laws protecting their people? If this is a safe haven for women, then shouldn't we ensure that these horrible things don't happen?"

The Matriarch smiled sadly. "Florem was a prosperous, and beautiful place. For a time, women did indeed thrive here. It was almost a shelter and a paradise for all battered women, but it couldn't continue on that way forever. For one, women often took their children with them and amongst their children were their sons, some of which had already learned to behave like their fathers.

"This was a great point of consternation for Floremese women. These boys had learned from their fathers that treatment of their women in general was okay. Not all the boys behaved this way, mark my words. Only enough for women to add an additional clause; that Florem would become an all-women nation."

Privately, I thought the solution didn't highlight the real problem; that any gender was capable of committing rape. But I let the Matriarch continue because I felt like I was finally getting somewhere.

"You can see how this too, caused a problem. By not allowing men inside Florem, there was no way that they could continue having children unless they left Florem. For a lot of abused and battered women, they did not wish to leave a safe haven. So they added an additional rule; that men could not permanently reside in Florem, but they could visit. In this way, they could impregnate women. If they had boys, the boys would be delivered to the father to raise since they could not reside in Florem. If the child was a girl, she would be allowed to stay."

"But sometimes sons are abandoned," I said, my tone a lot more harsher. "I'm sure you're aware of the boys that live in the sewers in horrible conditions, Matriarch."

There was a pause as the Matriarch scrutinized me as if truly seeing me for the first time. She regarded me for a long pause, and for once I wasn't sure what was going through her mind. "Those boys do not exist," she said finally, in a soft voice.

"Yes they do! I've seen it with my own eyes!"

"As such," the Matriarch said, speaking as though I'd never made an outburst, "Most of the men who visited Florem were men who looked for a quick lay. After all, the women in Florem had developed a reputation for never wanting to leave. Because relationships could not exist, the men who came here began to treat women like possessions and because women depended on men to continue the line of Floremese women, they overlooked the rape law. By then, they'd assumed that all men were more or less the same; that they'd grow up into monsters."

"That's not true!" I barked back.

"Isn't it?" The Matriarch said, and this time her voice sounded a little stronger. "What was Fiore DeRosa doing here, Edea?"

"That's..." I stammered, my heart beating quickly. "That's not the point." But I didn't sound so sure. Fiore DeRosa was a vile man, after all. Thinking about him made my insides crawl even more than Ivan and Vlad did. At least I'd been conscious when Ivan and Vlad were around.

"You and I both know that when it comes to men, it's best that they're guilty until proven innocent."

"How can you say that? You had a father once," I responded.

"A father?" the Matriarch gave a wild little laugh. It was strange how unhinged she was becoming about this topic. "Can you call a man who donates his sperm to my mother a father? I never knew mine. My mother is the only person who really cared about me and it was only her I have to thank about being in this position."

I glared at her. I didn't know how to persuade her; it was likely that she'd never known good men too. "You're so narrow minded," I said. "When I came here months ago to rid this place of DeRosa and to help Agnès awaken the Water Crystal, I had the help of two men. Don't forget that Tiz Arrior and Ringabel saved this place as well!"

Her lip was quivering, whether in anger or in nerves I couldn't tell, but she was looking away from me now. "I'm afraid we must agree to disagree. Good luck in the contest."

I shoved my chair back, knowing she wouldn't listen to reason. "Yes. Good luck." Frustrated, I left, wondering how she managed to come to such a black and white stance on such a controversial manner.

By the time I got to Fontaine's Salon, I was still angry with the Matriarch. "A welcome to you too," Rose sniffed. "I've your outfit ready." She pointed at a pastel-looking outfit. It reminded me a little of the vestal's garment. "I thought you could wear something a little more traditional, and far more tranquil. It'll be good when you're doing your flower arrangement."

"This won't work," I immediately said, looking at the light colors that made up the outfit, although I had to admit it was very pretty. "I'm on my first day of period."

Rose narrowed her eyes. "You're serious?"

"Unfortunately," I responded. "Anyway, I did some last minute changes. I'm not doing flower arrangements, so I'm going to need an outfit that's more... entertaining. If you have anything like that."

"Entertaining?" Rose echoed. "Edea, the plan was that to combat yesterday's scandalous outfit, you would wear something a lot more... demure. Y'know, to show that you're not some sort of harlot. And what do you mean you're not doing flower arranging? It's so easy! All you have to do is cut the stems and put the flowers in the order I tell you. Even you can't mess it up!"

"I know," I said, and there was a hint of apology in my voice as I said it. "But the thing is, I kind of ran into somebody who made me think of another idea..."

As if on cue, the door opened and Praline strode in, looking extremely uncomfortable in one of the corsets that she'd purchased yesterday. She looked like she could hardly breathe.

"Who are you?" Rose squinted at the blonde.

"Rose, this is Praline," I said. "I'm going to be singing for the talent."

"You told me you couldn't sing," Rose said, still not catching on.

"I can't," I explained patiently.

"But _I_ can," Praline finished.

I saw Rose comprehending what we were trying to get at before my very eyes. "You're not... you're not serious are you?" She suddenly lowered her voice, despite the fact that we were the only three girls in the salon. "This is cheating! If you get caught-"

"We're not going to get caught," I said firmly. "I know the song she's singing, and I've heard her performing it a dozen times before. All I need to do is go through the steps a few times." When we had fought Praline in the past, it was rather lucky that Tiz was, at the time, playing around with the Time Mage asterisk. We'd rewound that battle too many times trying to defeat her. Coupled with the fact that we had done it in each world, I'd heard all the songs she'd performed at least five-dozen times. Of course, Praline didn't know about the different worlds, but had only assumed we played with the Time-Mage asterisk to get her to sing all her songs more than once.

"This is risky," Rose responded. "I don't think I like this..."

From the corner of my eye, I saw Praline's face drop. I felt sorry for her, which was strange considering I had never liked the Performer much. "We have to do this, Rose," I said firmly. I wasn't going to let Praline down now that I knew how miserable she was when she wasn't singing.

Rose met my eye, before conceding defeat. I think she knew I wasn't going to back down. "Fine," she said. "I don't even know why I'm agreeing to this. It's just too risky. But I admit that there won't be too many singers anyway. I think only Dahlia's singing and she's never had much of a range to begin with." She narrowed her eyes at Praline. "You _can_ sing, can't you?"

It was weird how Praline's voice was a legend in Eisenberg and even to the inhabitants on Grandship, but here she was just another face. Knowing how big of a diva Praline was, I was beginning to understand why she found this place awful. It must have been a long fall for her. "She can sing," I assured Rose. "As long as she wears more loose clothes."

"Excuse me?" Praline screeched.

I'd finally understood why Praline had been wearing tighter clothes. "You never belonged, let alone stood out here because you always thought you were too fat." By the rest of Luxendarc's standards, Praline looked a healthy weight, perhaps erring a little on the chubby side but in Florem she was simply too big for her age. "Wearing those corsets aren't doing your voice any favors. You're not going to be singing in public anyway. You'll be behind the curtain. Nobody will see you."

Praline looked downright miserable. "I know that I'm not going to show my face. I know that... but..." she trailed off. I knew that even though I'd given her an opportunity to sing, she still wasn't satisfied. She wanted people to know that she was singing.

Knowing this, I felt like a scoundrel. I was taking her voice, taking all the credit for it. But what could I do? I knew somehow that I had to make it better once the ceremony was over. "I know this isn't exactly what you wanted," I said gently. "But it's all I have. I'm trying to change Florem to include people like you, people who are outcasts for things that they can't help, like their appearance." _And their biological sex_, I added silently to myself. I didn't say it out loud. With the exception of Alternis, nobody knew that I was fighting for the boys in the sewers too. I wasn't sure Rose would sympathize with my cause as much as she did for my quest to add in some rape laws.

I was beginning to see that even though what the Matriarch had said had repulsed me, in a way she was right. The only men who came to Florem were those who were interested in having a brief affair with the women here. So for the women who had never traveled outside of Florem, it would be very easy to form the opinion that all men viewed women as mere pleasure objects, not even as humans. It made me sad to think about because they were missing out. I'd never especially gotten on with a lot of men - most of the boys in Master Kamiizumi's dojo were losers - but I couldn't imagine my life without Master Kamiizumi's wisdom and tutelage, my father's strictness and upbringing, Alternis, and Tiz's undivided kindness to name a few.

"I know," Praline said, bringing me back to present. "I just wish there was another way."

"Me too," I said.

"Okay, I think I might have something that could work out for today," Rose grumbled. "I hate doing last minute changes. I spent nearly all last week trying to detail ever last second of these three days and now I have to completely change it all up. It's not going to be as good but it's lucky I had several other outfits."

I smiled at Rose. "Alright, show me what you've got."

* * *

Hours later, I felt a little more confident about what was about to go down, sitting in my personal contestant's tent. Praline and I had practiced within the privacy of Rose's salon. We decided that we'd perform a slower, more moving song so that I wouldn't have to move around as much and would have less choreography to remember. Most of Praline's songs were upbeat and bubblegum pop. This one was a song I'd never heard before which made me a little nervous. It only took me about twenty minutes to memorize the lyrics and beat, but to know how and when to contort my facial features took up a lot more time.

I was surprised that Praline had written a song like this. The lyrics themselves were simple. It was a song about saying goodbye to a lover, but when Praline had sung it to me, the emotion that had carried in her voice sounded like the song was about death. There had been a tone of finality in the notes, that I hadn't considered before until she sang it that made me briefly think about Ringabel, and how I'd never hear his annoying yet sometimes wise remarks, how I would never feel his gentle touch. Even the memories I had once cherished with an iron grip, were now beginning to fade away. It made me feel uncomfortable because there was a part of me that didn't want to move on. It made me wonder who Praline had written this song for.

But when I asked, she'd merely responded, "I wrote the lyrics, but Master Kamiizumi advised me on how I ought to sing it. We were going to sing it for the Shieldbearers' wives after Qada had their forces killed. We felt terrible about what had happened and Master Kamiizumi thought about trying to make up with the Shieldbearers, but after everything... they didn't want to make up. They wanted to annihilate us all, and I guess I couldn't blame them after what Qada did. There was no choice for us but to press on and hope that we ended the war as quickly as possible with the least amount of casualties."

I listened quietly in shock. In hindsight, I suppose I should never have been surprised over how complicated the situation was. It had always bothered me how Master Kamiizumi had backed the Swordbearers because it had never fit his character; that of a quiet and strict, yet fair man. I also wondered if, when he tutored Praline on how to sing it, he wasn't just thinking of the many lives lost from the Shieldbearers side, but also my mother.

Although Mother had told me that Master Kamiizumi had in fact, pushed Mother to accept Father's proposal because he had let Kamiizumi win, I'd privately wondered if Master Kamiizumi ever moved on from her. I'd gotten the distinct impression that he'd kept his distance from Father and Mother unless they really needed his swordmaster abilities, and there was also the fact that he'd never married or even, as far as I knew, started up a relationship with anyone else afterward.

I had no doubt that he valued my father's friendship more than his love for my mother (he must have also valued her opinion too, which was that she obviously chose my father over him), but it still had to have hurt.

I wanted to ask Praline if he had ever mentioned my mother, but at that moment, Rose brushed open the tent entrance breathlessly holding two microphones. One was decorated with gems and bows which she handed to me. The other was a plain black. This one, she handed to Praline. "I hope you two are ready, because you're due on in half an hour's time." She gave me a once over, her eyes showing that she was satisfied. She better have been, I thought, annoyed. It had taken me at least ten minutes to get into this getup.

I was wearing a figure-hugging scarlet dress that showed off my arms and had a deep neck. "It's not _as_ traditional," Rose had sniffed. "And today's all about wearing something that would reflect Florem. But I figured that you're not really one of us anyway, so I might as well make you stick out in the biggest way possible. You don't even have to worry about any noticeable stains if you end up accidentally leaking because you're wearing red. Just please don't. Blood stains are a little hard to get out once they're dried."

"Noted," I had said. There were some upsides to living in a Matriarchy, I thought. Here, women talked about their periods freely. It had shocked me at first, hearing them discussing it loudly and frequently in public places where everybody could overhear, but I suppose it wasn't much of a secret if nearly every inhabitant had them in the first place.

Rose had also dyed my hair. The top of my hair was still blond, but it had gradually faded to a deep lavender color that I couldn't help but see all over Florem. I wondered if this had been her way of showing that my outfit was somewhat patriotic. "They call this job balayage and it's pretty in right now. I'll change it back before tomorrow."

I nodded once toward her, before she rushed off, leaving Praline and I alone. "Thanks," I said somewhat awkwardly.

"For what?"

"Doing this. You didn't have to. I know I don't deserve your help."

"You still asked," Praline said, and there was a smirk on her face. "I guess we're not so different. Blond hair, blue eyes, a desire to be in the spotlight, and using any means to get what they want. Although I'm not sure if I would ever ask for your help. I still have some pride left."

I didn't bother correcting her that part of the reason why she had agreed in the first place was because she really wanted to sing. It seemed too cruel, and the last thing I needed was to have Praline mad enough to back out of our deal. "Did you, um... did my master ever say anything about me while he was in Eisenberg?"

"Nobutsuna?" Praline said blankly, making me cringe at her using his first name. I'd only ever heard Father call him by that name. Even Mom called him only by his last name. "Well, not that I know of."

My heart dropped. "Oh, I see." Why would he? I was nothing special to him aside from being the daughter of of his friend and love interest.

"Don't dwell too much on it," Praline advised. "I didn't really know him that well, and we didn't really talk much. He didn't seem like a talker, unless he was relaying orders. He also really hated Qada, and I think he found me annoying." She said this like she couldn't believe anyone could think that about her. "Come to think of it, he was actually rather close to Konoe."

I almost choked at that. "Konoe? As in... Kikyo? The ninja?" _Who hardly ever spoke coherently?_

"Yeah. They were like, _really_, close or something," Praline said. "I think it's because they were from the same place. You know, with their weird customs and how nobody's allowed to say their first names or whatever."

I disregarded the last bit, but the part about Kikyo and Master Kamiizumi being close was certainly interesting. It was too bad that there was no real way of knowing the story there. With the exception of Praline who had already said she didn't know what their relationship, the rest of the leaders of the Black Blades were dead and I already knew that Master Kamiizumi didn't really keep in close contact with Father or Mother.

I was still thinking about Master Kamiizumi when my name was called. I couldn't get him out of my mind. I had never thought of his personal life much. Certainly, I'd regarded him as much my father as my real one, and there was no questionable doubt that I loved him and considered him my family.

But at the same time, I never really felt much interest in knowing his past life until I'd began world-hopping. By then, it was too late to learn more about _my_ Master Kamiizumi. Belatedly, I didn't think I would ever be ready to say good bye to him, even if his last words were to me. There was just too much I didn't know.

I took the stage with this thought still in my mind, and the crowd went silent. Before me stood hundreds of women, girls and men. They watched me expectantly, and the familiar, beginning notes of the violin and piano began to play.

My mind was on auto-pilot. I mouthed the words, not even bothering to care if I looked convincing lip-synching.

_There is the place we often go_

_As lovers, friends, as children, as you and I_

_Framed with blossoms that bloom, the willows that weep_

_But this is not good-bye, my darling_

_We will see each other again_

_We will be happier and better for it_

_Take your hand in mine, walk this path_

_This is not a final good-bye_

_Just a different way of saying hello_

_And a way for me to think of you, smile, and move forward_

The crowd was silent, and for some strange reason, my eyes caught a girl in the crowd running off, a stream of brown hair flying after her like the wind. I knew it was Agnès, and I felt a rush of affection, even though she didn't stop to applaud. She was still here, wasn't she? A little encouraged by that, a smile somehow found its way to my face.

Somebody clapped once, uncertainly. And then there was a smattering of applause afterward, as if the audience still uncomfortable about breaking the silence, but was too polite to let me stand there in silence. Unconsciously, I sought Alternis but before, I could really start searching, I felt Rose clamp down on my hand and drag me off.

"Well, now you've done it," Rose muttered, as we exited backstage.

"What did I do? I thought Pra- I thought I sang pretty good," I protested. There were a lot of other people backstage. It wouldn't do to have people knowing that wasn't my real voice.

"This isn't what you think," Rose retorted. "Did you hear the audience? They weren't clapping or cheering!"

"It's not really a song that requires clapping or cheering at the end," I muttered. At least, not the way Praline had sung it. With the accompaniment of violin and piano, the song sounded even more emotional. I brought my fingers to my cheeks, and discovered they were wet. I'd been crying while performing.

Praline had made me cry.

Well, more absurd things had happened, I thought. I'd traveled to different dimensions, fell deeply in love with a different version of my childhood friend, killed my friends and teacher, been betrayed by a fairy, and yet I'd paused to consider Praline making me cry as the most absurd thing to happen to me. I laughed out loud at that.

"This is nothing to laugh about," Rose all but snapped. "This talent portion is to make your audience entertain, not make them think of past, broken relationships!"

I shrugged. "At least I stood out."

"That was what yesterday was for! Today you were supposed to be _likeable _and safe!"

I pressed my lips together, annoyed by her nagging. "I never play it safe. You should've known that about me. Anyway, what did _you_ really think about the song?" I asked. I wasn't only thinking about Master Kamiizumi anymore, but also Einheria, Artemia, Victoria, Holly, and the rest of the asterisk bearers that I'd known.

"I?" Rose paused, before saying in a softer voice, "I... I don't know. It was beautiful. And sad."

I said nothing to that, but I was satisfied.

* * *

**Thank you for the reviews! I remember in my last chapter saying that I wanted to update before my big trip to India... Welp... that didn't happen. I was roughly 1K away from the end, before I ran out of time. But I had a great time there, and I'm happy to update!**

**I forgot to address this in my last chapter but for those of you who have been closely following _Bravely Second_ news and know everything that's happened in the game as well as the explanations of what happened between the gap of _Bravely Default _and _Bravely Second_, just know that this story will probably be diverging off that, haha. I'll be continuing with whatever I had in mind earlier, just because I'm about halfway through this, and changing things just to make it more canon would be difficult. I know you guys probably already knew this, but just as a reminder, this will not be following _Bravely Second_'s canon (especially since I didn't spoil myself _that_ much for the sequel, so I don't know what's happening there except for a few shippy key points). Of course, I might do _minor_ plot detail switches to make it more canon-friendly, but I haven't really figured it out yet, and if these switches occur, they will definitely not detract from the major plot. We'll see!**

**Anyway, onto a few review replies that I didn't get to because I was busy at the time, so I'll just do it here, heh (So much for cutting out the responses, huh? :P I'll just respond to the ones that had specific criticisms and questions)**

**A fan (lifeswordpa?)****: You're absolutely right of course. I probably didn't go into much detail about that crowd, as much as I should have. I think this is probably because I was indecisive about whether or not Edea would be super apprehensive toward a crowd or not. I mean, as the Grand Marshal's daughter, I'd assume she's used to being approached by strangers on the street, and used to facing crowds at least somewhat. But as to people staring at her in that manner, especially with such little clothing, you're also right. I'll see if there's any way I can rectify this when I go back to edit.**

**Enzo****: Ah, thank you! You already know how invaluable I find your sharp eyes and our conversations, so I'll be trying to fix the thing Edea not knowing about Qada as soon as I get to upload this! It's been awhile since I've played the game so certain details slip my mind, like this. Thank you so much for pointing it out! As for Praline, I hope your question was answered! ;) And yeah, for a game where one of the big themes is that not everything is black and white, I found the Eisen arc, a little... black and white? It bothered me that we never got to really hear the Swordbearers side of the story, except from the Black Blades point of view... who, let's face it, had their own ulterior moves and weren't even from Eisen in the first place. It would have been nice to see the Swordbearers shown in a not so negative light. And I agree somewhat about Altdea. Actually, to be fair, before I started this fic, I was firmly Rindea and though I really felt bad for Alternis, I never really considered him too deeply either. Maybe we're not meant to, but after I started writing this and really considered the possibilities between them, I thought maybe there was a potential chance for them to develop as something more, especially with Alternis. Of course, you can probably tell, that I thought their relationship would need a LOT of work (seventeen chapters, about a month and a half, and they've only just started _really_ working together!).**

**Irien: Gah, thanks for pointing out the little spelling errors. They're definitely my weakness, and are probably the reason I really could use one. Maybe I'll scrounge around for one after I post this one up. I think once I'm done, I'm just going to have to do a major combing through to fix all these kinds of mistakes, regardless. And oh gosh, I didn't know those were the names of the protagonists of Golden Sun! I've heard really good things about that franchise, but I've yet to play it... D: But as for where their names come from, well, I always sort of borrowed a lot of Russian/Eastern European culture to fill in my version of Eternia. So, Ivan and Vlad are from Eternia (Not exactly the main city, since they've never met or seen Edea, just heard of her), and their names are meant to indicate that. Though they're not exactly pleasant people from the start (The majority of men, though not all, who visit Florem, which they view as a major red light district, view these women as things to abuse, and Ivan and Vlad are included in the majority) the reason they target Edea specifically (even after she owned them) is not just relegated to just lust. There's a sense of dominance and revenge here... but I think I'm veering off into potential spoilers, so I'll stop there.**

**Thanks for being so patient and nice as always guys and thanks for reading! Day 2 of Florem's Festival isn't exactly over yet, so next chapter should be a continuation of the rest of the day of Day 2. This was just to get the major event out of the way.**


	19. The Spring Festival: Part 3

After the performances were over, Rose forbade me from changing out of my clothes, despite my obvious discomfort. "People need to recognize who the girl is onstage and it's easier if you have your costume on." I certainly had to admit that it stood out. My outfit was garish in its bright red, compared to the light pastels that the rest of the contestants wore.

"Well?" Praline asked when I entered the tent, her face almost drained of any color. "Did they like it?"

I was tempted to shrug, but there was some sort of desperation in her eyes that made me rethink my first instinct. Praline had always been very confident when I'd seen her singing for the Sword Bearers and on Grandship. It was possible that she just knew how to cover up her nervousness onstage, but it was even more likely that Florem itself was what made her nervous. Somehow, this place had stripped away any confidence Praline had in herself.

"I loved it," I said softly. And it was true, wasn't it?

"Whatever," Praline said, "I don't care about you! What about the audience?"

What about the audience? "I guess we'll find out soon," I responded lightly. I cast a longing look toward the clothes I'd changed out of in order to wear this infernal costume. Another day of wandering the streets. At least I wasn't wearing the Bravo Bikini, although the bikini had at least, provided easy mobility. If I were to fight in these clothes, it would hamper my ability due to how tight it was and how I was in heels that were even more uncomfortable than the ones that the bikini came with.

After I instructed Praline to remain in the tent for another hour or so after I left, I took a deep breath, walked outside and tried to mingle with the crowd.

But the crowd seemed to not want me to mingle with them. Instead, they gave me a cautious berth, parting ways wherever I went. Though this wasn't as nerve-wracking as the gawking I'd endured when I wore the Bravo Bikini, I was still uncomfortable. I didn't even know why. I was the Grand Marshal's daughter. I was used to attention!

Or I was.

Somehow, my travels with Tiz, Agnès and Ringabel had made me get used to mingling with the crowd. Eternia was the only place I'd ever been to before our adventures in reawakening the Crystals. I was used to people greeting me respectfully, knowing who I was without me knowing who they were. In my rookie Sky Knights uniform, in Caldisla, Florem, Ancheim and Eisenberg, I was nothing but a foot soldier, the lowest of ranks. Nobody knew who I was.

I didn't mind the gawking that much if I was on a stage behind a podium. I supposed I didn't even mind when people at least, tried to act like they know who I was even though they did a horrible job of it. But the open stares were...

I smiled, not completing that thought. I couldn't afford unpacking my feelings of discomfort. I had to act like this didn't faze me. I walked through the crowd, making eye contact with men and women alike, but as soon as I latched eyes on somebody, they hastily averted their gazes as I walked through.

It wasn't until I was almost out of the arena area that a man grabbed my arm. I nearly flinched at his touch, before I realized his grip was gentle.

He let go of me anyway, looking surprisingly embarrassed that he'd touched me in the first place. "Edea Lee, right?"

I turned to look at him properly. With his sea green eyes, and blond hair, he could have been Eternian, if not for the distinct Caldislan accent. It sounded almost like Tiz's Nordendish twang, except a little more sharp. "That would be me."

He hesitated a moment. "I just wanted to say that I really... I really liked your performance. It was... different."

A woman suddenly appeared beside him, clearly Floremese with her glamorous make up and dress. "It was beautiful," she said. "What he means by different was that there was a lot of heart in it. I felt embarrassed hearing you sing it, but I'm glad I did."

"Embarrassed?" I frowned at the way she'd worded it.

She smiled. "You may not be from here Lady Lee, but surely you are aware of how beautifully deceptive this city is? Talking of feelings, especially of unhappy ones, is not something that happens all the time. Our people focus on the good so much, hoping that it diminishes the bad. But even a rose's fragrance cannot mask the scent of a dumpster. These women are giving you space because you spoke openly of loss and that is new to them."

"It wasn't entirely unhappy," I said. "I thought the message was about moving on."

The woman gave me a sardonic smile. "Do you believe that people can truly move on from the death or the loss of a loved one?"

"Yes," I said firmly.

Her smile turned even more sardonic, the very edges of her painted lips turning downward. "Then permit me to be harsh; you are a fool and perhaps should just stick to singing. Your singing betrays how you truly feel, but your words say something else."

I flushed; what could I say to that? I hadn't been singing. "I appreciate your point of view," I said in a clearly disgruntled voice.

"Spoken like a true Floremese." Somehow, I knew she didn't mean that as a compliment. My blush turned darker, and the woman sidestepped me with the nervous man stumbling after her. I realized I hadn't even caught her name, but it didn't matter.

I wondered if they were right. Perhaps this was the reason everybody was giving me space. I could only hope this was the reason. It would have been better than if they truly thought it stank.

Discreetly, I turned my gaze to the parameters of the place and noted a few of my crewmen stationed and discreetly aware of their surroundings and sighed; Alternis had done his job. If I hadn't known them by face, I wouldn't have known they were there. Emboldened that I wasn't alone for today, I began to wander around the festival grounds.

Gradually, I learned to ignore the slight berth I'd been given by the rest of the onlookers and began to enjoy the sighs even more than I had yesterday. I visited countless stalls, paying more attention. The shopkeepers' attitudes to me were either respectful, or awkward; it was as if they felt just as strangely toward me as I had them.

Not for the first time did I wish that I was enjoying these sights with Mother. I'm sure she would have really enjoyed these sights. It was one of the reasons why, despite her undivided love and attention toward me, we never exactly clicked the way Father and I had. She would perhaps never truly wish that I was different, more feminine, but I sometimes wondered if she wished she had somebody to share her love for all beautiful things. I clearly wasn't that person, for even though I was enjoying the sights as I visited the stalls, my mind kept drifting back to what I was expected to accomplish. Up in my room, there was more research to be done, even if I more or less had an understanding of what was to occur. I also couldn't help but think about the Matriarch's words. It was the first time I'd ever seen her be resolute in anything.

On the outskirts of the festival, I eventually came across the library's stall. I didn't even know they had one. I'd come across book stalls, to be sure, but they all advertised romantic novels, books on fashion, and self-growth. The library's stall seemed to emphasize records. I also noticed Kaimi was one of the stall keepers, and I immediately hustled towards her.

She flushed upon my noticing her. "Edea!" she exclaimed, her cheeks growing redder. "I mean, Lady Lee."

"Edea is fine," I said, smiling warmly at her. "I wanted to thank you for your-"

"Oh it's nothing," she cut me off, casting a worried look to one of the other librarians who was within earshot, though did not seem to be listening to us, as she was busy talking to one of the passer-bye's. "Just doing what any librarian would do, and inform you of our library rules. I hope you understand."

I did. "Oh, right," I said. "I didn't mean to trouble you."

"No trouble at all," Kaimi said, pushing her glasses up her nose. She seemed very uncomfortable. Perhaps it was because she wasn't, for once, within the confines of the library. I remembered how awkward AgnEs had been to strangers when I'd first met her. Back then, when I wanted to make AgnEs warm up to me, I'd asked her questions about herself and equated her answers to me in someway. Perhaps I could do the same with Kaimi.

"You know, I just realized how unusual your name is."

"My name?" Kaimi repeated blankly. She seemed confused, like she wasn't used to people asking questions about herself.

"Yes. Well, I notice a lot of girls here are named after flowers. But, correct me if I'm wrong, yours doesn't seem to be named after a flower."

"That's... observant of you," she responded. "And you're right. I think it's a tradition that'll never die in Florem. They say that naming your daughter after a flower or any kind of wild life ensures that your child will be beautiful."

"I have to ask then, why didn't your mother name you after a flower?"

"I come from a long line of scholars. My mom was a librarian too. We believe beauty is found in knowledge, rather than outward appearances. It's uncommon, but not unheard of to name a girl after something that isn't a flower." She hesitated, as if she believed she had said too much about herself. Then, when she realized I was waiting for her to go on, she continued, "My mother found my name in some old records. Supposedly, I was named after a famous explorer, who was responsible for finding out the sacredness of the Orochi. It wasn't until later on that I realized that the explorer was actually a man's name." She gave a short, embarrassed laugh. "Essentially, I am named after a man."

I found myself asking, "Does that bother you?"

Kaimi shrugged. "I don't know. I guess if I was a regular girl in Florem I would. But I don't know a lot of boys. The only time I ever see them are around this time, when I'm manning this booth. Even then, I guess I'm too ugly for any of them to introduce themselves to me." There was a matter-of-fact way that she said this that disturbed me. Before I could comment on it, she went on, "The only men I know are in the books I've read. They don't seem too bad to me in there."

"Sometimes books and real life aren't the same thing," I muttered, mostly to myself, thinking about Ivan and Vlad. I focused on Kaimi again. Casually, I remarked, "Well then, that makes two people I know of in Florem who aren't named after flowers. Though, to my knowledge, I suppose the other woman I know of isn't a librarian."

Kaimi shrugged. "There are other groups of people that don't subscribe to customs here."

"This woman's name was Concordia Dim. Heard of it?"

I watched Kaimi for any sort of reaction. "I don't really peruse our book of records, but the last name sounds somewhat familiar. It sounds like one of the older wealthy families here which makes sense."

"What do you mean?"

"Families born in old wealth tend to name their daughters in ways that make them stick out. That means no floral names." Alternis had remembered correctly; he _had _ been raised in a comfortable home, probably because his mother was wealthy. She hadn't abandoned him because she was poor. The only reason I could think of, that she would abandon him would be because he was found out.

I should have been happy about this. If Concordia was part of old wealth, it would be a lot easier for me to track her down, than if she'd been, say more common. But instead, I was just frustrated. I felt like I was hitting dead ends at every turn and that I was missing something important here. Why hadn't Concordia been found? I was sure that Alternis was searching just as desperately, if not more, for his mother and yet he hadn't turned up with anything either.

Privately, it seemed to me that Concordia was dead. Or maybe she didn't exist. What if she'd fled the country and assumed a different name? That would make the search virtually impossible, which was frustrating but also a little bit of a relief. On one hand, if she had assumed a different name and fled the country, it would make it hard for Alternis to find her and kill her. I didn't want Alternis to meet her because I didn't trust him to do the right thing. On the other hand, I really wanted to know what Alternis's mother was like and it was aggravating that I couldn't seem to find her.

"You seem troubled."

I studied Kaimi, wondering how much information I could divulge. "Can you keep a secret?"

Kaimi's eyes darted over to the other librarian nervously. "Madame! If I could go on a break?"

The librarian had a stern face - one that I'd always associated with librarians in general since I'd never liked libraries in the first place - and looked like she was about to say no. But then she noticed me and her face softened almost imperceptibly. "Twenty minutes."

Once Kaimi made her way to my side, she muttered, "My mother's always been a fan of your father, even after the whole mess with the Bloodrose Legion. She finds his life fascinating." The fact that Kaimi seemed so taken with me was now starting to make sense.

My initial shock that the other librarian in the booth was her mother was overtaken by my insides squirming. I tried not to feel too gloomy over the fact that Kaimi had made the connection between Eternia and the Bloodrose Legion. Of course she would. "My Father's mistake was how careless he was in choosing his commander." It should have been Einheria and I suspect, if she hadn't been so young, Father would have appointed her as commander of that operation.

Kaimi's lips pursed, but she decided not to comment on it. "I can keep a secret. I already lent you those books when I wasn't allowed to."

I hesitated one moment, then went on, "The truth is, that woman I was telling you about? Concordia Dim? I've never actually met her, much less seen her. My... A friend of mine remembers her when he... uh, _she_, was a child and hoped to meet her. I fear she must be dead if nobody's heard of her."

"Not dead," Kaimi said slowly. "Just because a person dies, does not mean a person is forgotten."

I realized she was right. It would be almost impossible for a woman with an old family name to disappear for good. Had Concordia made the conscious decision to disappear? Or, I thought shrewdly, had somebody else made that decision for her? "So what now? Is there a way of finding out what happened to her? Don't you have a book of records or something?"

Kaimi shrugged. "We have a mostly list of those born, yes," she said carefully. "Obviously males are not included in the list, and women who choose not to give birth in hospitals sometimes forget to register their child in the census, but somebody like a Dim would probably be in there. Unfortunately, it's very much restricted. I don't even think I have the authority to get in there."

That would explain why Alternis hadn't been able to get in there either. "Who has authority then?"

"The Matriarch, and her advisers."

I frowned at that. "The Matriarch has advisers?" I had never seen them before.

"Every ruler has its advisers," Kaimi responded. "In Ancheim, the Prime Minister has twelve viziers. In Florem, we have three that assist our Matriarch."

I realized she was right, almost too belatedly. Of course. Father had the Council of Six, and I _had_ seen the viziers in Ancheim, though they were never present in any of the meetings I'd had with Dominus.

I knew my standings with the Matriarch were shaky at best, especially after our conversation. I wondered if the Matriarch's advisers would grant me access. Before I could voice this thought out loud, Kaimi said, as though reading my mind, "The advisers won't help you."

"What?" I demanded. "Why?"

"The advisers counseled the Matriarch previous to our current one. In fact, they're getting a little old, but they've counseled a total of three Matriarchs."

_Three?_

"Yes," Kaimi said, interpreting my expression correctly. "Three. They're really old, I'd estimate about ninety by now though I'm not sure, and they don't really go out that much either. In fact, nobody really sees them except the Matriarch herself."

Well, that was a bust. "Where do they live?"

"Inside the Palace."

My frown deepened. I had never seen them before. "How is it possible that they've outlived _three_ Matriarchs?"

"Well," Kaimi said hesitantly. "To be fair, the last three Matriarchs lived shorter lives. The advisers were appointed when they were only in their early twenties for the first one when she was on the cusp of old age. I'm told they were nieces of the first Matriarch they served. By the time she died, they must have been in their mid-thirties. The next Matriarch died when they were in their late sixties. The Matriarch herself was perhaps younger, though we were told she had a weak heart to begin with. By the time our current Matriarch came into power, they were probably seventy years old, and have served our Matriarch since then."

It was interesting but I felt like we were getting further away from the topic of Concordia. I realized I was hitting dead ends. I had to try my luck with the Matriarch. She was now my only hope.

"Thanks for making this clearer to me," I said. "I owe you." _A lot_. The Matriarch let me choose who I wanted to be a representative of the UNL and I was sure Kaimi would be one of them.

Kaimi gave a nervous smile. "It was nothing."

* * *

The rest of the day passed with relative ease. I kept my eye out for the Matriarch, but she was nowhere to be found which I thought unfair. The rest of us candidates were expected to make rounds around the festival. Since the Matriarch was required to be a candidate, shouldn't she have been around as well? I supposed that perhaps her duties as being the ruler of Florem probably kept her busy, but it still grated my nerves that she was somehow exempt from this portion.

When the sun began to set, I realized that I hadn't seen Alternis once since this morning which left me feeling a little uneasy. Especially with the way I'd left things between us, I really wanted to make things right between us, but I couldn't even find him. It was possible that he was in the sewers with the boys, but I wasn't feeling especially inclined to leave the parameter that my crew had set watch. I had to stay in the innermost circle of the city where the festival was going on which was also annoying. I hated feeling like there wasn't anywhere I couldn't go. It also bothered me that I still hadn't given much thought to the boys in Florem for the past few days. I was so focused on the festival, finding Concordia, and figuring out the history behind Florem that I had little time to consider how to solve the problem. I had a few thoughts on the matter such as opening up an orphanage or two to house them but I quickly realized that it wouldn't be that easy. For one, hiring people to run it would be hard, though not impossible. There had to be at least a few women who didn't find the thought of caring for boys or men repulsive. But the harder thing was that these boys wouldn't even be able to live in Florem anyway. These orphanages would have to exist outside of the kingdom, and once the boys came of age, they would be forced to seek work and a place to live in other countries which would prove difficult if these boys weren't even properly educated in the first place.

I knew I had to think of some sort of solution. I'd promised Alternis after all, hadn't I? He was helping me more than I was helping him so far and it was frustrating me. I realized now that I owed him a lot more than the way I was treating him previously.

Slowly, I made my way back to the palace, but halfway there I ran into a girl with luminous yellow eyes, dark skin, and brown hair. She looked vaguely familiar. "Excuse me," she muttered, and I almost didn't think anything of it until I realized where I'd seen her before.

"Wait!" I called back to the girl who had already taken several steps away from me. "I've seen you before!"

Warily, she turned toward me, and I caught a good look at her. Her eyes looked dull, like she had seen too much death. My heart clenched at this. "I don't think so," she said slowly.

"You're... you're the vestaling." I'd seen her on different worlds, but this was the first time I'd seen her here. I didn't even know her name, but I was surprised that I still remembered her face since my mind was usually on other things when the Matriarch made introductions.

Her expression turned hard at that word. "You must be mistaken. I am nobody."

I recalled how Agnès had told me how much trouble she had with the vestaling, since she refused to become one. "Okay," I said softly. "Sorry, I must have mistaken you for somebody else."

Her face softened almost imperceptibly. "It's alright."

I didn't want her to go. "The truth is, I'm a little lost. I'm new here."

The girl bit her lip. "You're the Eternian princess."

I refrained from telling her that I was a princess and nodded instead.

"You sang that song on stage this afternoon."

My cheeks flared up. I didn't have the heart to lie to her and say that that was my voice, so instead I asked, "Did you like it?"

She waited for a beat before responding, "It was nice. But it's a lie." Her eyes lowered from mine and she looked away from me. "Smiling? Moving forward from losing somebody?"

She sounded almost like the woman I'd run into who was with that man. The one who had called me a fool. "You don't think it's possible?"

She shook her head. "It's not. I know from experience."

I wanted her to look at me, so I said the very words I knew she would hate. "What would you know? You're just a little girl."

Her eyes sliced back into mine. I'd never seen such golden eyes look so cold. "My mother died last year. She didn't deserve to die, but she died all the same. The Healers and doctors who performed her autopsy all said she died a slow, painful death." Her eyes filled with water, and my heart nearly broke. "I heard you killed the wretch responsible for her murder, so I thank you for that," she said, and her voice cracked. She paused for a moment, as if trying to compose herself, but when she spoke again her voice left me utterly shattered. "I still hurt as badly and I'm never going to move on."

I was going to ask her how she knew I'd killed Victoria, but realized it must have been Agnès. I tried to find the logic behind that, why Agnès would tell her that Victoria was dead, but I knew this wasn't the time to discuss it. In her voice was the same sort of feeling I'd been carrying around since I turned traitor and killed my own kind. This was the same feeling I'd felt when I crippled my father, killed Einheria, even ended Victoria's life.

I didn't know how to make it better, because I knew she was right. I could never overcome the aftermath of the horrors I'd repeatedly experienced and the blood I spilled. "We can try," I said.

"What?"

"I said, we can try," I knelt down on one knee so that I could meet the girl eye to eye. "I don't know who you are, really. But I know that I share your pain too. I've done so many things I'm not proud of, and I'm probably going to keep doing them. And so are you, but there's only way we can live is to try and tell ourselves that someday we'll be okay."

Her eyebrows slightly drew together. "I don't want to be okay."

I refused to show weakness. "I think you do, because there's nothing else we can do except move forward, while remembering what kinds of experiences made us into who we are right now."

She began to cry. It was slow and hesitant at first, but then she was full out crying. She brought her arm up to her nose and wiped the snot away in one motion and began to sob. "I miss her so much. I don't have anybody else," she said between hiccups.

"Yes you do," I insisted. "You always do. People are always reaching out to you even if they're not the kind of people you expected them to be. They are." I was thinking about Agnès when I said that, but this expanded to Tiz and Ringabel too.

And I realized I missed them all terribly.

* * *

_Dear Edea,_

_It seems like Florem is quite an interesting place. If only I could see it. Be sure to ask an accomplished artist to draw the city for me. I'd ask Alternis, except I'm sure this place does not carry fond memories. Please continue to look out for him, my dear. He doesn't like to say it, but I know he must be suffering there._

_My darling, I must ask if you've given any thought at all toward what I've said about marriage. _

_I'm sorry I cannot write as often. I'm quite busy here. As it is, I cannot make this letter as long as I'd like it to be. Please be aware though, that I'm always thinking of you, no matter where I am or what I'm doing. I feel as though I do not tell you how much you mean to me, that you think I've placed more of my attentions to Alternis than you and that is simply not the case. You have always been my greatest source of joy. You are the reason I feel like I'm real and still in this world. Never forget that._

_Mahzer Lee_

* * *

**A bit of a filler, but some of this needed to happen and I finally got it out. Apologies for the slight delay. If any readers has an issue or thoughts, please drop a review or a Private Message. I may not be able to get back to you all, but know that I read every single comment and review and appreciate every single person who has expressed interest or any concerns at all. Knowing that my work reaches more people than I could have imagined, touches me. I'm afraid that, as a person who isn't very good at expressing themselves, you all will never know how much you mean to me. **

**Originally I was planning on taking another long hiatus after this update, but instead I think what I won't be doing is just posting review responses here. I know I said I'd be cutting back on them in the past, but I ended up not doing that. I'm sorry for those who looked forward to them, but I feel like this is for the best.**

**Thanks for sticking with me.**


	20. The Spring Festival: Part 4 (Night)

**Have a quick update from me! This chapter marks something pretty important, in that this marks the 20th chapter, as well as the fact that this chapter's made us go past the 100 K worth of words mark. Phew, that's a lot. This chapter is also the beginning of the end of Florem. The chapter after this is the last of the Flower Festival parts, and then I'll probably have like one or two chapters after that dedicated to wrapping up the Florem arc. We'll move onto Caldisla from there.**

**Thanks for the reviews! One in particular seemed to have a laundry list of concerns, which, believe me I _know_ is a lot. Keep in mind that some of the problems Edea seems to have do intersect, and a lot of the ones mentioned are mere foreshadowing. I don't plan on the festival spanning longer than five parts, which is really only one part longer than I said I would do in the first place (I recall saying initially that the festival would be broken into 3-4 parts, so having five parts is not much of a detour). I won't say much more except that a lot of what is happening to Edea _is_ her working on her problems, and while it doesn't always seem readily apparent, they are all pieces of the puzzle that'll eventually be solved, if they haven't been already for readers who may have already solved some of the mysteries themselves.**

**Thanks for being patient as always. Consider this speedy update a thank you!**

**TW: Casual references to rape, blood, death, as well as some profanity.**

* * *

That evening, I was sitting in my room, languidly turning the pages of the book, not really reading. My mind had drifted off. Tomorrow, I'd have to deliver a speech at the end, and then voting would begin. While Rose had assured me that I was one of the more well known candidates and that many of the women of Florem had enjoyed my song, I knew that about the same time tomorrow I would probably become one of the most hated candidates.

Despite figuring out Florem's history and its origins, and more or less recognizing that the only way to keep Florem's population thriving was through not instating any laws about consenting, I had no idea how I would present to the audience what I felt. The prompt for tomorrow's speech was, "What Makes Florem Beautiful." For this portion, Rose had left me to draft the speech. I wondered if this was because she knew there was no way I'd ever convince the audience what my end goal was. Rose didn't even know that I planned on also talking about the boys too.

I sighed. I was absolutely stumped on each problem I had, and there was a lot I had to tackle. I bit my lip, and stared out the window. Florem was starting to light up, and the place looked wonderful, basked in the oranges and yellows of its lights. I scrubbed my hand against my face and let out a frustrated groan. I had dinner with the Matriarch in fifteen minutes, but I wasn't even hungry which was surprising as I hadn't eaten any lunch. The thought of facing the Matriarch was harrowing. I knew she'd deny me access to the official book of records. I could always suck up to her and apologize for my behavior, but that itself made my skin crawl. I wasn't in favor of apologizing for what I said. I _knew_ I was right.

I flipped a few more pages in the book, my eyes glossing over how their government was established. They preferred a monarchy because that was what Ancheim and Caldisla had, the nations closest to Florem.

_"But while Ancheim and Caldisla were firmly patriarchally based, Florem was unapologetically and proudly matriarchal. Women often sent their sons to study abroad, knowing full well that Florem was to be a safe haven only for women alone, and their sons would sometimes report back the problems Ancheim and Caldisla faced as a monarchal society. Florem briefly considered a government akin to a democratic republic, as was the approach Eisenberg adopted, but in the end a monarchy was established in which a leader would be chosen by the predecessor's advisors, as well as the public. The leader would rule until her death, and would renounce every aspect of her previous life. This was so that the leader would not become corrupt by any personal wishes or obligations. The leader would be known simply as the Matriarch because-"_

There was a knock at my door, and I almost jumped; it had been so quiet for so long. I jumped to my feet and quickly headed over to the door and swung it open. It was Agnès.

A silence fell between us. I desperately wanted to apologize to her. Seeing her stand there, looking anywhere but at me, made me realize that I missed her more than she knew.

"Agnès-"

"It's time for dinner," she said tonelessly. She turned around abruptly, her silky hair trailing after her.

"Okay," I said under my breath to nobody. I braced myself, put on a smile that I hoped was fooling everybody around me and marched downstairs to the dining room.

The Matriarch was already there, and there were piles of steaming plates already set. Agnès was at the end of the table, looking like she wanted to be anywhere but here. My stomach gurgled. Maybe I was more hungry than I thought. Timidly, I slid into a seat near the Matriarch who was already beginning to serve herself.

"I enjoyed today," I said to her, hoping she'd bite and take the bait. It would be extremely awkward to dine with two women who hated my guts.

"Did you?" The Matriarch said, and there was such a rush of relief in her voice that made me wonder if she felt embarrassed about what had happened this morning. I took this to be an encouraging sign.

"Yes. It was lovely. Some of the dances the contestants did were really graceful. Especially the last one," I lied. I hadn't watched any of the dances, since Rose had told me to stay in the tent.

"Oh yes, Heather was rather lovely. She's been trained in traditional dance her whole life, was what I've been told. Such talent, don't you agree, Agnès? You were there for the whole thing too, weren't you?"

Agnès choked a little on the piece of asparagus she'd been chewing on. With great difficulty, she swallowed it. "Some of it," she admitted. "I found it interesting."

"I assume you were there to support Edea? What did you think of her song? Quite lovely, wasn't it?"

This time, Agnès looked directly at me and I gulped; her eyes were like daggers. "Very lovely," she said. "I couldn't believe she was singing it. In fact, it seemed so unlike her."

_Crap, _I thought. Of course she knew. She'd also heard Praline's voice as many times as I had to know that I hadn't been singing it myself.

"I'm sure Edea's full of talent in places I didn't stop to consider," the Matriarch said, smiling, completely unaware that Agnès's intentions were totally hostile. She wouldn't sell me out... would she?

"Well yes, Edea can be surprising. There's so much she doesn't tell me."

I sucked in a breath. One of these days, I was really going to have to control my temper, but it wasn't going to be tonight. "It's hard to share so much of your life when there's a lot going on," I shot back, plastering a smile on my face that I was sure looked more like I was baring my teeth. "I'm so busy I forgot to tell you about what I'd learn... about my singing," I finished.

"Too busy because I don't matter?" Agnès retorted. She stabbed her fork into a potato viciously. "Or that you thought your... _singing_... was something I didn't need to know?"

The Matriarch's eyes flit back and forth between us, realizing that we weren't being friendly.

I let out something that sounded like a frustrated, "Mrgrgrgr!" before saying, "You _know_ it's not about that. I've just had a lot on my plate!" I glared at her, and suddenly I was noticing that Agnès's eyes were growing wetter and shinier, until I saw her eyes fill with tears.

_Oh, crud._ My anger vanished instantly, instead filled with shame and regret. I knew instantly, that I shouldn't have shot back in the first place. "Agnès, I'm sorr-"

She stood up abruptly. She turned to the Matriarch and bowed once to her. "I'm sorry. You were very kind to invite me to dinner, but I simply am not feeling very well to sit through all of it."

Before the Matriarch could respond, Agnès dashed away and I rose to go after her. "Agnès, wait!"

"Leave her be," the Matriarch said, laying a fleshy arm on mine. "I didn't know you were at odds with each other, otherwise I wouldn't have invited her in the first place. She's not really mad at you, you know."

I sat back in my seat, my head lowered. "Anyone can see she is."

"She's not mad. She's hurt and ashamed of feeling this way. She just needs a little bit of time. You being there won't help her. She needs to work it out on her own."

For once, I agreed with the Matriarch. My instincts were telling me to go after her, but I felt like I was being stretched at all ends. I couldn't dwell on Agnès forever, especially since everything I was saying just made it seem worse.

I carefully segregated the vegetables on my plate and started cutting up the fish. "I don't know how you can run a place like Florem with no help. I'm struggling just to get by," I admitted.

The Matriarch sighed. "I don't envy you, Edea. You're supposed to go to each region, help solve a problem when you know next to nothing of their customs, and move on to the next. I could never do what you're doing presently. As for me, I was born and raised here so I know how things work. I also _do_ have help."

I raised an eyebrow, feigning ignorance. "Do you? Where from? Like, votes and stuff from the public?"

The Matriarch laughed. "Oh heavens, no. I'm sure you know that I have advisors just like any other ruler you've come across I'm sure."

I arranged my face so that it looked like I genuinely hadn't thought about it before. "Oh, you're right! I guess I never considered the possibility because I never see them. Where are they?"

The Matriarch finished her plate. "Well, the truth is, they're old and don't like interacting with other people anymore." She quickly looked down.

I exaggerated a look of disappointment, sighing heavily. "What a shame. Do you think they would make an exception to me? I'm curious to know who these women are." If I could get the Matriarch to let me talk to them, maybe they would let me look through the book of birth records.

The Matriarch pursed her lips, the look in her eye uncertain. "Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to ask, but I'm doubtful they'd let you visit them. They haven't had much of a visitor since last year, when we discovered the vestaling and they wanted to examine her."

I found this odd. Usually, advisors were the one that made appointments for their ruler. In this case the Matriarch was acting as the go-between for her advisors. "They don't even dine with you?"

The Matriarch shook her head. "If I'm not dining with anyone, I usually take my meals up to them. As it is, I have you and Agnès and Ringabel for company, though I suppose your friends don't come by often. A shame since Ringabel came quite often to sup with me last time he came."

I was too lost in my thoughts to tell her that Ringabel and Alternis were two different people. It was really starting to bug me that people were now calling Alternis Ringabel, though I suppose it was my fault. I needed to start making that distinction soon.

"You must be lonely," I said.

The Matriarch looked surprised at this. "Do I look lonely to you? I just told you, I always have company to dine with."

"But it's not the same if you don't have a constant set of people with you always. Like a... family."

"All of Florem is my family, Edea. I tell you that I'm a ruler here, but the truth is that I'm more like a mother, hence why they all call me the Matriarch. This title is for those who are willing to sacrifice everything for their children. I must embody the very essence of what it is like to be a mother to all of my children."

I'd never thought of it that way. "But surely it must get exhausting holding such a title. Don't you ever want a break?"

"Does a child ever stop calling her mother, 'Mother'? A Mother's duty never wavers, and she can never have a break. When Florem established a government, this was the quality they chose for their leader. She would have to sacrifice her whole being. The initiation process for the Matriarch is a lengthy process. It isn't just swearing her in as a leader. There are lengthy rituals dedicated to stripping ever part of her previous identity. This was so that she couldn't become corrupt the way other leaders in other past regions have. Their corruption is the result of their identities and who they are. By the time the Matriarch is finished with the initiation process, she is wiped blank, and the only thing she has left is her title. You asked if I ever get exhausted? I can't get exhausted if this is all that's left of me."

I know she said this so that I could understand her, but all I felt was sorry for her. What kind of a life was that? "Did you want to be the Matriarch when you were selected?"

"It was an high honor to be selected." She then corrected herself, "The highest honor."

* * *

I was just finishing what I was going to say tomorrow on a piece of paper when there was another knock at my door. "Not again," I groaned, thinking it was Agnès. "Look, I'm sorry if what I said upset you, but it's the tru-" I opened the door and Alternis was standing there, dressed in black from neck to toe. His hair was not in its usual Ringabel up do, but it was down like it had been while we were in Ancheim.

It felt weird staring at him like this, like he was wholly, and totally himself. I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye. "Alternis," I said. "What brings you here so late?"

"I have a present for you. It's outside."

A present? That was unexpected. "Um, thank you?" Alternis had never bought me a present before, not unless you were counting when we were children. Alternis once got me a Frosti-themed charm bracelet, and I started throwing a tantrum because I didn't want it. My next birthday, he got me a play-sword and I was delighted. For the next few years he'd get me presents that my governess deemed "inappropriate for a lady" which was all things related to weaponry. Once Alternis started training to become a Dark Knight, the birthday presents stopped coming. I outgrew all my toy weapons so I threw them all out. All I had left from the old days was the Frosti-themed charm bracelet, which was still presumably in my jewelry chest. All these years later, I had to admit, it was actually really pretty. "What is it?" I asked, still thinking about that bracelet.

"It's a surprise. Come down. Might as well arm yourself while you're at it. Never know when you might need to defend yourself."

Without hesitation, I did as he asked and followed him my heart racing. If I had to _go_ to the present, perhaps it was big. Perhaps it was something that couldn't be carried. Maybe it was a hill that overlooked the whole city. Or a restaurant reservation at a fancy restaurant. "I haven't seen you all day," I said to his back, since he was a little ahead of me. "Did you hear my song?"

There was a pause. "I heard of it, yes. I heard it was very... emotional."

I tried to mask my disappointment. "I just hoped everybody liked it." He hadn't been there after all. I didn't know why it mattered so much. After all, it wasn't like I was the one who had been doing any of the work. All I had to do was move my lips and act like I'd been singing in front of a crowd of more than a thousand people.

We exited the palace and Alternis led me down several streets. They were mostly deserted except for a few women and men who were attempting to out-sweet talk each other and people packing away materials from their booths. Alternis was swift as he finally turned toward a dark alley. My confusion turned into dread. Whatever Alternis was about to show me, I was sure it wouldn't be flowers or a reservation at a fancy restaurant.

I was correct when he stopped in front of a dumpster and opened the lid. "Take a look," he said, his expression unreadable.

Crystals. There was a dead body in there, wasn't there? I hesitated. Oh Crystals, if it was his _mother_... There was definitely a body...

"Alternis I don't know..."

"Just take a look," he almost snapped.

I tightened my resolve and stepped forward and shut one eye. With the other, I peeked down at the dumpster and breathed a sigh of relief.

There _were_ bodies, but they were alive, bound and gagged, and struggling in a bed of trash.

"Vlad and Ivan," I breathed.

At the sound of their names they stopped and looked up at me. They looked like they'd been handled with roughly but at the sight of me their expressions turned cool, as if they didn't want to show me how desperate they were to get out of their restraints.

I looked up at Alternis. "Well, it's not very traditional, but how did you know I always wanted a pair of tied up potential rapists for my birthday?"

"Your birthday's not for another few months," he responded.

"An early gift then." I reached into the bin and ripped off their gags with one swift motion that left them gasping in pain. "How did you find them?"

"I didn't. I sketched their profiles and gave them to the crew that I had guarding the premises. I told them to keep an eye out for these idiots if they showed their ugly mugs again. Turns out they _did. _They were looking for you apparently since they didn't get the message last time. They beat 'em up, and tied them on my orders so they wouldn't escape."

It should have chilled me, but for once I had all the power. "That was foolish." I drew my sword, making sure it made that long, smooth metallic noise as it glided out of its sheath. The noise had the desired effect; Vlad and Ivan's eyes widened just a little. A second later though, Ivan was sneering, trying to cover it up.

"This bitch doesn't scare us."

Alternis seized him by the collar and dragged him to his face. "What did you call her?"

I didn't stop him. There was some sort of savage pleasure I was getting from watching Alternis act this way.

Ivan was trying to be brave, but I knew he found Alternis scary. "I called her a bitch."

"Wrong answer." Alternis swung him over the dumpster and onto the cobbled street and drove the heel of his foot on Ivan's head. He looked at me expectantly. "Just give me the order, Edea and I swear I'll..."

"Wait," I said. "Wait." He took his foot off Ivan.

"Stand up," I ordered Ivan.

"I can't if I'm bound up, can I?"

"You can at least handle sitting up, can't you?" I asked frostily.

Ivan glared at me, but because he was lying face down, he just looked stupid. With considerable struggle he got up into a kneeling position. It took a few long minutes that I made painfully awkward for him by staring him down the whole time. "What is it, _princess_?" he spat at me.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll talk and you'll keep talking until I decide not to kill you."

"You would not kill me. You're a woman. You're too soft."

In one swift movement, I had my sword pressed against his chest. If I applied any more pressure against his skin, I knew I'd be drawing blood. "Tell me I'm too soft, and I'll start cutting your limbs off one by one. I'll save your heart for last."

"What do you want me to tell you?"

"Why do you keep going after me?"

"Well, it isn't because you're pretty if that's what you mean. I've fucked prettier girls."

"That's not the question she asked," Alternis snarled, and kicked him in the stomach. He fell over backward, his back slumping against the dumpster. "So answer it."

Ivan coughed up blood. "You Lees, think you're so much better than everyone. You think you speak for all of Eternia, you think you are loved yet you start wars and alienate us against the rest of Luxendarc. You abolish religion when that is all the poor have left. The poor starve, the rich keep getting richer yet tax us more so that you can help other regions pay for war repair. It is sickening. Your problems in Eternia are bigger than problems around the world. You do not care for your own blood."

I almost let my sword drop. "What are you talking about?" I whispered.

"I used to worship your father. A man coming from seemingly nothing, growing into a revolutionary. Ha! Now what is he? A crippled old weak man who overlooks the problems of the weak and uses every resource on his own family for free, yet white magic is expensive for others to use. What a joke! He is not fit for a leader and I don't want another Lee to ascend him. You're even worse. You betrayed your own country for others."

"I haven't betrayed anyone," I said.

He leaned forward, clearly impassioned by his own little speech. His chest hit my blade again. "You do not care for the blood of our people, so go ahead and shed it."

There was something familiar about that phrase, something that jarred my memory. I looked at Alternis who seemed clueless, and then I remembered where I heard it.

"You... you're Krov?" Mother had mentioned that when he signed his letters, he signed them as "Blood of the People."

He wheezed out laughter. "I'm surprised you know that name. Perhaps you're not as stupid as I thought. But you still are stupid. Krov does not have time to get his hands dirty, so I must do it for him."

So Krov was a man... I glared at him. "How do I know you're not Krov?"

He shrugged. "As far as I know, Krov should still be in Eternia. He still manages to get his work published there."

"So you're working for him?"

"I am merely a follower. I do what I think must be done. Krov needs all the help he can get. If I were to mentally scar the Lee candidate, or even kill her, perhaps his path to the throne would be easier. He would be merciful. He would not let his people suffer the after effects of the war. He wouldn't let that stinking wife of his, that stupid bitch who does nothing but waste valuable white ma-"

I didn't even know I was the one who had stabbed Ivan at the base of his throat, until I saw my sword jutting out from there and he was coughing up even more blood. I saw him try to breathe in a few times, but all that happened was him coughing up even more blood. I watched him drown in his own blood until he was dead and felt no remorse for my actions.

"Kill the other one," I said to Alternis, in a voice so devoid of emotion, I wondered what in the seven hells was wrong with me. I turned away from the bloody scene. Vlad cried out, "Wait, wait I'm sorry, I didn't do anything! Have mercy!" I heard Alternis's blade sink into something that sounded like flesh. There was a strangled cry, and then... silence.

It was a relief that, for once, I didn't feel any sort of regret for the people I'd killed. I knew they were a threat that needed to be eliminated, and so I had. They were despicable.

I turned to face Alternis again. He was watching me carefully, warily.

"What is it?" I said, and was still surprised that my voice was normal as if I was talking about the weather.

He shook his head, and it was like he couldn't even bear to look at me anymore. "Sometimes, I look at you and I can't believe you're the Edea I grew up with."

I didn't know if he meant that as a compliment or an insult. "You're one to talk. You've changed too."

"I was always supposed to head down this way because I'm a Dark Knight," he said. "But you... I'd hoped that I would never see that look on your face."

"What look is that?"

"The look on your face that finally accepts that you're okay with killing other people."

* * *

**Yeah, but Alternis, you're one to talk about morality and killing people, lol. Was Edea justified in her actions? Florem's arc is finally starting to wind down. Next chapter ought to be the last part to the Festival, as I stated in the beginning Author Notes. And then a few chapters dedicated to wrapping up everything else.**

**As always, thanks for the reviews/favs/follows/hits!**


	21. The Spring Festival: Part 5

**I'm actually satisfied with this one, for once... which happens... almost never. Somebody asked whether this was uploaded on ao3... and well, short answer is yes, but not all of it. I know I need to update it soon.**

* * *

"Where are you going?" Alternis asked. "This isn't the way back to the palace."

"Perceptive."

"Edea," he said. Despite the fact that he was taller than me, he was scurrying to catch up because I was walking too swiftly. The heat of Ivan's blood was burning through my clothes. _Blood of our people_, he had said. I could still practically taste the metal of the blood, that's how strong it smelled. "Edea," he said again, running to outpace me and then blocking my path. "Where are you going?"

"Stick around, maybe you'll find out."

"Edea, you just took part in _murdering_ two people."

My gaze flicked up to his. "_We,_ Alternis." Yet he still looked undeterred. "If you're worried about what'll happen when or if we get caught, you can tell them you were under my orders. I take full responsibility."

"That's not what I mean and you know it." I shifted on one foot and crossed my arms, daring him to continue. His eyes tightened as he regarded me in silence for one long beat. "I wish I could figure you out. I wish I knew what you were thinking," he finally said, frustration apparent in his voice.

I uncrossed my arms and placed them on his upper arms gently, so as not to startle him. He didn't flinch or even tense up. "I'm thinking that there are no defense laws against rape. I'm thinking I'm going to be in big trouble because I can't argue that it was defense. I could say they tried to kill me, but I have no proof especially now that they're dead." Too late, I realized how foolish it was to have them killed immediately. A better idea was to imprison them.

I watched Alternis's eyes grow dark. "Are you running away?"

"No. I'm not running away." But I wished I could. Crystals, I wished I could. I took a deep breath. "Tomorrow is going to be a disaster. You and I both know it. I can't convince this crowd of anything, but I owe to everyone whose helped me that I at least try. I owe it to Rose, to Praline, and..." I took a deep breath. "I owe you big time. You've stuck by me even when I treated you... less than ideally."

He shifted uneasily. "Well, it's because I'm on orders from the Lor-"

"I know you say it's your duty, Alternis, but you've gone above and beyond. It's my turn to help you however I can. If I can sway Florem's opinion even a little, then I'll be a little happy." I slid my hands down his arms slowly, letting them drop to my side.

"So where are you going?"

I sidestep him and march further away from the heart of Florem. "I'm headed to the sewers."

* * *

_Dear Mother,_

_I'm becoming increasingly impatient with you. You hardly respond to my letters anymore, which I understand as we must both be busy._

_But I must know who Krov is. You and Father insist that this problem is not my concern but it is. It is my concern, and the more you keep hidden from me, the harder you are making my job for me. Krov has followers not just in Eternia, but throughout Luxendarc and they are seeking me out. Do you remember how well keeping the truth went for us last time? So much bloodshed could have been avoided if you and Father were not so cryptic about the future of the Crystals and Luxendarc. Do not repeat this mistake again._

_I hope you are in good health,_

_Edea Lee_

* * *

I got little sleep, perhaps an hour tops. What sleep I had, I dreamt, and therefore, did not sleep at all.

My dreams were washed in blood. I dreamt of disembodied hands grabbing at me, and then, as soon as they touched me warts and blisters and pus-filled boils appeared on their hands. Their skin peeled off, and they began to bleed so much that I drowned in their blood. These dreams dissolved into thousands of eyes watching me. They were all filled with ruthless hope. They looked prepared to viciously tear into me, should I make one misstep.

I did not have a good night.

When I finally roused from my uneasy sleep, it was just before the crack of dawn and I knew I had a lot of things to do. Before I even brushed my teeth, I wrote the rest of my speech, a few long paragraphs. The enormity of what I was about to do was beginning to dawn upon me as I drafted the rest of my speech. It wasn't perfect, but it would have to do.

This time, I forewent Rose's prep. I wore my own clothes, black and white armor. I didn't touch my face up much except to cover up the dark circles under my eyes, and coated my lips in blood red lipstick, hoping that the bright shade would endear the crowd to pay attention to my lips which would be doing the speaking, rather than the rest of me. When I stared at myself in my mirror, I knew that compared to the rest of the girls, I was relatively plain. In that, I hoped, I stood out.

I didn't want to see weakness, and I didn't show any at all. I looked tough. Tough was good. Tough would be how I looked when I crashed and burned.

Once I thought I had everything ready, I exited the palace and headed toward where my crew was. I knew I'd overworked my men, but I had no regrets. I located Alternis, who I found overlooking the rest of the boys. He was dressed in his full armor including his helmet, but I could tell that we locked eyes at the same time. He turned his head away from me.

My stomach flipped, but I ignored it. After the events of what happened last night, I knew he hated me. This was too risky for him but I couldn't see this happening any other way.

"Alternis," I called out. I saw his back stiffen. Slowly he turned toward me. He was hiding behind that helmet, but I knew he was angry at me. What else was new? I felt like we were back to square one.

He didn't say a word.

"Is everything ready?" I asked.

"Yes," he said, his voice brittle with contempt. I wasn't surprised. I knew he would be, but it still stung a little.

"Do you have a better plan?"

He cocked his head sharply. "A better plan, Edea? A better plan? My plan includes not putting the boys-"

"_Our_ boys," I said firmly.

He ignored this, as I thought he would. I knew he didn't think I cared little for these boys. "In danger. What you're asking them to do..."

"They agreed to it. You know I wouldn't have asked them to do this if they didn't agree to it."

Alternis's voice grew louder as he spoke. "That's because they don't know any better! They think they'll win." Several heads turned, and looked in our direction. He must have realized this, because he paused and waited for everybody to go back to business. His voice became softer, and more vulnerable. "You and I know that won't happen."

I couldn't help it; I reached out and cupped the side of the cool metal of his helmet. Even though it wasn't his skin, I stroked it, thinking that maybe he could be soothed by it. After some time, I stopped, though my hand remained on him and said, "This isn't about winning anymore, Alternis. You know that we're not going to win anything. This is about making a statement."

He stayed still for awhile, then I heard him sigh. "What if it doesn't work?" his voice strained. "What if it doesn't work and we've put them in danger and it gets worse-"

"Worse than living in the sewers? Worse than dying by starving or because they were living in filthy places? How much worse can it get?" Even though I couldn't see his eyes, I looked into where they were supposed to be and narrowed my eyes. "Could you tell me honestly that spending those years in there was living compared to what your mother and my family gave you?"

"That's not fair." His voice was sharp. He turned his face away from my touch abruptly, like he was disgusted with me.

I resisted the urge to bite my lip. I realized I needed to get him to hurt in order to make him understand me at least a little. "You said you called those sewers your first home, Alternis. Sometimes, I wonder if you would have felt the same if Father hadn't taken you in."

"Enough." His voice was masked in a hostile warning.

"You had the privilege," I said, hating myself for bringing it up. "You had the privilege to grow up and be loved-"

"I was not loved. I was merely useful to your father."

"You're seriously going to say that to my face right now? That is bullshit," I said fiercely. "That is bullshit and you know it. Take that damn helmet off, look me in the eye, and tell me that you believe my father, my _mother_ did not treat you like one of their own."

He was quiet, but I knew he longed to lash out. This was the part he hated of me, I realized. The part that pushed him to his limit. Only now, I'd stepped out of line this time. I'd made our argument personal. Whenever I talked to him about our personal issues, it was never to intentionally hurt him but now this was exactly what I was doing.

"How can you deny these boys the chance to live like what they were born to be?"

"This isn't a chance. You and I both know it."

"It may not be a chance, Alternis. The odds were always stacked against me when it came to real change around here. There's no way I can realistically _do_ anything around here. But I can _make_ people think about their actions somehow. I can force them to face the problem and at least hope for a better future."

Alternis growled, "That's not good enough."

For somebody who was wearing a helmet, I knew exactly what Alternis was thinking. I didn't have to look at his face to know it, and I knew what words to say to comfort him. Unfortunately, this time I knew that whatever I said to comfort him would just be brushed aside. What Alternis responded to, I realized, was authority. I knew he didn't like it when I commanded him, but I also knew that right now he didn't need to be coddled. I exhaled sharply and regarded him coolly.

"I fail to see how you could think I am your enemy here, Alternis."

"I don't think you're my-"

"You clearly do. You think you can undermine me because you think you know what's best for these boys."

"That's because I am one of those boys, Edea." His voice sounds urgent now, as if he's desperately trying to make me understand.

I jabbed my finger into his armored chest. I was sure he could barely feel it, and it hurt my finger probably more than his chest, but I continued to stab with each sentence. "That's your problem, Alternis. You're _not_ one of those boys."

"Yes, I-"

"No. You're not. Take a good look at yourself in the mirror and compare yourself to one of them. You never were one of them. You may have grown up with them, but you're not." I lowered my voice, and dropped my finger which I'm sure will be sore later. "Alternis, you want to know what my father saw in you when he discovered you?"

He was quiet and now I couldn't tell if this was because he truly wondered or because he was too angry to speak.

"He saw somebody who wasn't just trying to survive, but somebody who wanted better. There was nobody like you in the sewers because those boys were abandoned before they got to know somebody who truly loved them."

"She didn't love me."

"It doesn't matter whether she did or not," I said, taking a deep breath. "The point is, you once thought she did and that gave you the drive to want to do better. My father saw that in you. Shouldn't you want those boys to want the same thing?"

He looked away from me, to the men who were still preparing. "I'm still not convinced this is right," he finally said.

I smiled sadly. It was a smile he couldn't see. "I know. I'm sorry." And because we had nothing else to say, I turned and left, my heart in knots.

* * *

For the speech, none of the candidates got their own tent. Instead, we were all supposed to be in one giant one, waiting until it was time for us to go out. Then, we'd all go to the stage together. Nobody else was allowed here except the contestants. I hadn't seen Rose all day, since I spent the morning preparing with my crewmen.

Before today, I would have thought that I stood a chance of being the winner of the festival but now I knew that was no longer possible. I wanted to throw up. I was about to make nobody happy after today. Alternis would hate me, the Matriarch also. Any chances I had to figure out who his mother was will now get shot since the Matriarch would be displeased. Maybe it was for the best, I thought. There was no way I could undo this.

I watched the candidates practice their speeches. Every single one of them looked beautiful, but while some looked confident, others looked nervous. None of them could compare to how I was feeling.

"It's okay to feel nervous," the Matriarch said, her voice warm.

I didn't know how I didn't notice her sitting next to me before. Her flowery scent and presence was hard to miss. "I feel like throwing up," I confessed.

"Deep breaths," the Matriarch said. "I remember when I had to give my first speech as Matriarch. I didn't want to. I thought I'd mess up."

I smiled weakly at her. "Is this the part where you give me advice?"

The Matriarch sighed. "Would that I could give you advice that could work for you. What worked for me was thinking of myself as nothing. If I thought of myself as nothing, then I became unaware of any flaws I'd have."

"That doesn't make sense," I admitted.

"Because you aren't Matriarch," she said, a rueful smile on her face. "Why don't you practice on me?"

My stomach clenched even more. "You wouldn't like what I have to say."

As I thought, her smile faded away, replaced by a look of stoniness. "And that would be?"

I suddenly realized that I found myself in a very precarious situation. If I let her catch on to what I was about to do, she would put a stop to it at that very moment. I hadn't told anyone else about the plan apart from my own crew who were responsible for preparing it and Alternis who was against it. If I told the Matriarch before the plan came to motion, I wouldn't have the chance to go through with it. I needed to be vague. "You probably already know that I think Florem is in need of serious reform."

"You mean the United Nations of Luxendarc. That was the reason you came here in the first place." A hard edge had crept into her voice.

That seemed like such a long time ago even though it had only been a few weeks since I'd come here. "You know it's more than that," I said.

"Reform," she repeated. She smiled, but it was devoid of any warmth. "What would you know of reform? You don't even live here. Let me tell you something, Edea Lee. Everybody in Florem wants some kind of reform. It doesn't mean anybody is willing to make it happen."

"I am," I said, my heart beating rapidly.

"Are you saying you saying you know more about Florem than its people? Enough to try to change it? How do you know that whatever you're about to say is shared by the rest of Florem?"

I realized she had a point, but I was more than prepared to back it up. If I couldn't somewhat convince the Matriarch of my convictions, then there was absolutely no way I could make any sort of positive impact on the rest of Florem. "It's not just me," I said. "There are others who also want this place to change."

"Like who?" Her voice bordered on scathing, the more she spoke. "Your crew? The Wind Vestal? That friend of yours, Ringabel?"

"I've had a chance to meet a few people who live here," I shot back. "And by the way, his name isn't Ringabel." It was time to tell everybody his true name, I realized. I had to start somewhere. "And you're wrong about him. He's not an outsider. He _is_ Floremese. So his opinion counts too."

The Matriarch's nostrils flared. "That's impossible. Ringabel is _male_."

I narrowed my eyes at her. I was this close to snapping at her. "Alternis," I said, my voice icy. The Matriarch flinched. I knew it was petty to correct her this way, but I wanted her to suffer. "Alternis is his name. And he was born here so he deserves to have an opinion regardless of his sex."

The Matriarch stared at me, utterly speechless, her face white as marble. Then, in a voice just a notch above a whisper, she asked, "What did you just say?"

"I said he's a _man_ and it doesn't matter. Alternis is still Floremese, so his opinion counts just as much as yours does!"

"That's not what I-"

The shrill notes of an announcing horn cut us both off. It was time to go outside, and I couldn't have been more relieved. She could have guessed what I was up to, or at least some idea of it, if I'd gone on a little more. She probably already had some kind of idea.

As it was, she grabbed my sleeve. "Edea, wait," she said, her voice urgent.

I jerked her hand off. "If you think you can stop what I'm about to do, I dare you to try."

"That's not what-"

"But I'm going. And I'm going to see this through whether you like it or not. You can just watch. Either way, you're out of time to put a stop to it." I swiftly walked outside the tent flaps to the cheers.

It was time.

* * *

I was the third person to speak. The other two candidates - Heather and Lily - both talked in prose about what they loved about Florem, but I hardly heard what they were saying. I was focused on the crowd, even as I sat on stage to wait my turn. The crowd was enormous today; it was the final event after all. But even so, I'd expected the crowd to be bigger thanks to my plan. I looked for Agnès, but the crowd was so large, it was hard to see if she was even in there.

My hands were shaking. I sought out Alternis. He was somewhere in the middle of the crowd, but it wasn't hard to spot him. He was wearing most of his armor, save for his helmet, which I could see he was holding in his hands. His mouth was covered by black cloth, but I could see his eyes clearly. Suddenly, I wished for once, that he had it on. The silver in his eyes were the most apprehensive I'd ever seen them. It was making _me_ worried. The enormity of what was to happen today suddenly dawned on me as I looked into his eyes.

My plan was too risky, and the outcome, even in the best possible scenario, did not justify the risk factor.

But there was no turning back now.

"And now, Edea Lee," the announcer said, a woman with rainbow colored hair. I'd seen her a few times before. Rose had mentioned her repeatedly, but I had failed to remember it. "I'm sure I don't need to introduce Miss Edea Lee. Not only is she our only foreign candidate, she is our most famed candidate aside from our Matriarch herself! Edea Lee serves an ambassador and peacemaker to her nation, Eternia. She is currently touring all of Luxendarc in order to bring the nations together. Let's all give her a round of applause and let her know what a great job we think she's doing!"

I was surprised at the thunderous applause. There were whistles and cheers. I hadn't known how popular I was, which only made matters worse. The fact that I'd been greeted with such an enthusiastic response only made my stomach clench. I was going to fall from a very high platform.

I briefly toyed with the idea that perhaps maybe I could say nothing and I could win on empty gestures of kindness. But I also knew that the very reason I was bent on winning was so that I could change Florem for the better. This was a promise I'd made to Rose and Alternis and many other women tacitly I was sure. As I stood up and took the stage, I realized that despite my nerves, I felt the most comfortable in these clothes. This time, I was sure that the people weren't looking at me because I was practically naked, or because I was expected to perform. This time they were looking at me because I was... well, _me_.

This comforted me more than anything else. I approached the mic and looked out at the square. Along the sides were female guards, ready just in case things were about to get ugly. Slightly reassured that they were there to quell any mayhem, I faced the audience.

"Citizens of Florem," I said. The applause began to die down. "I thank you for welcoming me to your home a second time. When I came here, I had no idea what to expect even though I'd been here before." I paused, for emphasis and then said, "I can tell you that my time here has been, to say the least... an interesting few days. I'm sure you saw me on the first day, a little more exposed than I would have liked." There were a few chuckles.

I took a deep breath. "I feel that I must be honest with you. I did it so that I could capture your attention, and it seems that I did. I wanted you to pay attention to me in a short time with my limited resources, because that was all I had. And I'm glad it worked because I need you to listen to me today especially.

"The purpose of these speeches were to answer the question of what makes Florem beautiful. And indeed, when I first stepped foot in here, I thought that it was a beautiful place. Sometimes, I look around and I wish that I could live here. Who wouldn't want to live in a place where only women existed and where the buildings age effortlessly and with grace?"

I paused again, and I looked around. I memorized how this crowd was looking now. I savored this pause, seared it into my memory, because after this I knew I may as well be the most hated person here.

"But the truth is, after spending some time here, I can't. Underneath all of Florem's beauty, I see a place that is in turmoil." There were a few light gasps and the low murmurs that I knew will eventually become angry. I steeled myself against my nerves. "One of my first nights here, I was viciously attacked by two men who almost took advantage of me." My voice trembled, which quelled the audience somewhat as if they sympathized with me. "It was one of the worst nights I'd ever had. I thought that here, in a place meant as a sanctuary for women, I would be safe. I escaped, but barely. Imagine my shock when I realized that there were no laws here that protected the very people that Florem claimed to protect when it began."

I surveyed the crowd. The faces I skimmed over were angry, as if I'd just accused them. The men from outside of Florem suddenly looked red in the face, but whether from embarrassment or anger, I couldn't tell.

"This is why I cannot say, with good conscience, that Florem is beautiful. How can a society be beautiful when it fails to protect its own people? Every single one of you in this square has, at some point, faced unwanted harassment but you put up with it anyway and nothing ever changes here." My voice grew stronger, and the buzz began again. This time the anger was apparent. I had to fight to have my voice heard. "And for the other half? It's even worse."

Some of the angry buzzing turned into confusion. They didn't know who I was talking about, but they were about to. "A good portion of you are homeless, left for starvation. Though some of you have been born in Florem, you are not recognized as Floremese which hurts my heart. You did nothing to deserve being treated like you never existed."

The buzzing grew louder and louder. I had to raise my voice over the crowd despite the microphone in front of me. "I think that ends today. If you have lived in the shadows your whole life, I invite you to make yourselves known today. Men of Florem," and as I said this, the buzzing hushed into an indecipherable silence. "Boys of Florem who have known nothing but hopelessness, let _me_ be your source of hope. Step into the light and show yourselves! Fight for your right to exist."

At my last words, I watched as nearly a quarter of the crowd began to undress. Last night, I'd had the boys in the sewers clean themselves up and outfit themselves in women's clothes underneath their rags. I'd told them when to take their disguises off.

The effect of this act sent ripples of fear and chaos through the crowd once they realized what was going on. All of a sudden the women were giving wide berths to the boys around them. There were gasps and screams. Every single Floremese boy in the crowd looked determined, though fearful at showing their faces to the crowd for the first time.

"You refuse to look at them even though you knew they were there the whole time?" I shouted into the microphone. I was veering off my original speech, but I didn't care. I was disgusted by their behavior. "You refuse to acknowledge their abuse while allowing the abuse of those who would take you against your will!"

Somebody was tugging at my arm. There was a boyish scream and I looked for the source. It was one of the boys in the sewers. One of the Floremese guards had impaled him with her lance. Upon closer inspection, I realized I knew who that was.

It was Dip. Briefly, I flashed back to when we were in the sewers. I didn't know him, but I knew that he was the first in his group to trust me. And now he was unquestionably dead. The point was sticking out through his back. His face looked blank as if he couldn't comprehend what's happening, or that he was dead. There was a stampede toward the exit but all I could do is watch numbly. Somebody was still tugging at my arm, but I didn't know who it was.

Somehow, I located Rose's face in the crowd, and I found her face blank and white. There was a taller woman next to her with honey colored hair and she was tugging her away. Amidst the chaos, I felt a pang of regret. I'd betrayed her after all she did for me by not telling her that this was part of my plan, that I'd fully intended to bring up the boys treatment in Florem.

The tugging got more insistent. "You." It was the Matriarch. "I need you out of here now."

This somehow brought me back to reality. I stared at her fleshy face for a moment before turning to face the crowd again. "Wait," I said. "No, I have to get in there." There was no sign of Alternis. I felt a swooping sensation of sickness to my stomach. He had known this would happen. He had warned me that blood would be spilled.

"There's nothing you can do about it anymore," the Matriarch barked. "I need you to answer some questions about all of this and whether or not your... your friend-"

Ferociously, I yanked myself free from her grasp, cutting her off. "I need to find my men. I need to find Alternis."

She flinched, then her face grew firm and resolute. "I'm coming too." There was a ghost of something in her eyes, that I'd never seen before. But before I could take a closer look, whatever it was disappeared.

I didn't have enough time to argue and the last thing I wanted was to have the Matriarch die or maim herself in the crowd. I knew the women of Florem wouldn't take too kindly to have their leader trampled over. I resisted the urge to tell her off and instead said, "Stay close to me." At my hip, I unsheathed Ise-No-Kami and walked down the steps of the stage, the Matriarch close behind me. I wasn't planning on using Ise-No-Kami to draw blood, but I knew it'd be foolish to not have it out, if not to scare a few people into backing away from me.

Sure enough, a few of the the Floremese women began to part ways when they saw my sword, making it easier to fight against the crowd. I couldn't tell if anybody in the crowd was injured or dead. I hoped nobody else would die today.

_What did you think would happen? Florem wasn't ready for this, Edea! _the thought keeps repeating over and over in my head but I try to push it down. I had to force them to see what they were doing. But I had to admit, I didn't expect such a strong reaction. I didn't expect anybody to die.

Oh Crystals, what would Alternis say? I knew he'd blame me for that boy's death, and he'd be right. Even _I_ blamed me. And where was he anyway? I scanned the crowds but all I could see were the panicked faces of women and non-Floremese men. I saw the occasional boy also fearfully trying to stand their ground but this proved to be difficult. These boys were weak from being malnourished and were easily being knocked away in the chaos. I realized that my priority was them.

"Theo!" I yelled. "Alternis!"

"Where is Alternis?" the Matriarch said.

I didn't bother turning around. "He should be somewhere here."

"I need to see him," she said more insistently.

I tried not to sound snappish when I retorted, "Yes, I need him too."

Miraculously, I located Theo first. He was elbowing away at anyone who came his way. "Lady!" he called out.

"Theo!" I was relieved to see him. It took some effort to fight the crowd and get to him, but I managed. "I need you to deploy orders to my men. Tell them that the Floremese boys must be protected at all costs."

"Alternis is already on it," Theo said. "He's already relayed the orders. We're evacuating the boys."

"Where is he?" I demanded.

In response, Theo pointed behind me. "Looking for you, it seems."

I whirled around, and sure enough I spotted him clad in his black armor, a few dozen feet away, his helmet on this time. In his arms was a boy that appeared dead or knocked out. I watched him carefully hand him over to one of my men. Though he was wearing his helmet, there seemed to be the utmost sense of gentleness radiating from him.

"Crystals," the Matriarch whispered and her voice was so low that I only just heard it despite her being next to me. "_That's_ him?" I vaguely realized that this was probably the first time she had seen Alternis in his armor. "Why is he wearing that?"

"Does it matter?" I asked, irritably. I was getting annoyed with her questions. We had more present things to deal with.

I heard the Matriarch snap her jaw shut. "I suppose not."

"Let's go."

"To him?"

"Obviously." I needed to sort this all out with him. I knew that while I was probably Alternis's least favorite person in all of Luxendarc at the moment, there were more important things to him and I than getting into another argument. Now was not the time to anticipate anything he might have to say to me, harsh or not.

"I... I can't," she whispered suddenly. "I can't face him. I can't do it."

I turned around to face her but she wasn't looking at me. Her eyes were still on Alternis and she looked like she was staring at a ghost.

And just like that, it clicked.

The Matriarch had tried to tell me something, hadn't she? She'd tried to tell me right before I'd come on stage. She hadn't been trying to stop me. She was trying to tell me...

"Alternis isn't a very common name, is it?" I said, my voice catching.

The Matriarch's eyes snapped to mine. They were round. They were nothing like Alternis's.

"I'd wondered where Concordia Dim was. She wasn't on any record. She just... disappeared, supposedly. But now it all makes sense. She disappeared because she became the Matriarch."

For one impossibly huge moment of silence, the Matriarch didn't say a word. We just looked at each other while the square was rapidly emptying itself. Then she whispered, "You... you don't understand."

"I didn't ask for an explanation," I said.

"No, I suppose you didn't. Yes," she said. "I used to be Concordia Dim. And Alternis... he..." tears filled her eyes and she didn't seem to be able to continue, but rather than pity, self-righteous rage took over.

"No." My voice was flat, and sharp. "You don't get to cry. Finish that sentence."

Tears began to fall down her face, but she obeyed my question and finished the sentence. "He was my son."

I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt numb finally acquiring this knowledge. There was too much going on all at one time.

"Finally," I whisper.

And before I could figure out what to do next, I felt his gauntleted hand, grabbing mine to pull me to him protectively. "Time to get out of here," he said, his voice hard to decipher. For one fearful moment, I thought he'd overheard everything. But then he addressed the Matriarch.

"Madam," he added politely to the Matriarch. "Begging your pardon, but it isn't safe here."

The Matriarch looked at him, her whole body quivering. "You don't-" she began, but I cut her off as I had many times today.

"Alternis is right," I said, my voice unnecessarily hard. "Anything you'd like to discuss can wait until we're safe." I glared at her, hoping she'd catch my drift. Alternis didn't need to be told about his mother now. Not during a crisis at least.

"I know this is scary to you," he told the Matriarch, incorrectly deciphering her tears and shock. "But we need you out of here."

Somehow, this snapped her out of her stupor. "Of course," she said, her voice listless.

Between Alternis's presence and my drawn out sword, we quickly make it outside the square. I never realized how many people found Alternis's armored presence so uncomfortable. Uncomfortable enough to scramble out of our way largely unprompted. "What about the boys?" I ask, when it's quieter.

"My, that is to say, _your_ men are taking care of it. We're transporting them back to the sewers."

"No," I said. "You can't do that."

"I can't do that?" he asked and for the first time, there's a bite to his voice. Even though she was standing a little ways away from us, the Matriarch flinched at the anger in his voice, but we both ignored her. For the first time, I realized the atmosphere radiating off him was angry. "May I remind you that-"

"I made a mistake, I know. You warned me," I cried out. We were still holding hands so I tugged at him so that he could stop and we could talk standing. "I'm sorry. I really am."

The guilt must have shown on my face, because I felt him grow a little calmer. "I know," he said finally. "Edea," he said, and his voice loses any its residual anger. "It was a good idea. It even worked, somewhat."

"You don't have to lie to me," I said, turning away from him. "Some of those boys died and they didn't deserve it."

"No," he agreed. "They didn't. But you were right. This was the only way to get Florem to acknowledge they even existed. Lives must be lost if we want to see any change here. The boys knew this. They knew sacrifices must be made in order to fight for their right to exist. I... I realized that after talking to Dip." His voice caught. He sounded agonizingly close to tears. He really cared for them.

I stole a glance at the Matriarch. Her jaw was clenched, but as I instructed, she didn't say a word. I wondered how she felt about this conversation. _Let her hear it,_ I thought to myself savagely. A different thought occurred to me just then, and I sought to distract him from Dip. "Why are you being so nice to me?" I didn't deserve it.

Alternis froze for a few seconds. Then he said in a voice that sounded unnaturally high, "I'm just... happy you're alive and well. I didn't know if you'd make it."

"You were worried for me?" _I don't deserve it._

"I saw you walk into that stampede, and I thought it was all over for you especially after..." His voice broke off, and I knew he was thinking about Dip. Miraculously, he managed a wry chuckle, which made my heart beat a little faster. "I always underestimate you."

"At least you've acknowledged that you do," I retorted, but I was grinning. I didn't know how I knew, but I could tell that he was also smiling underneath his helmet. I longed to take it off just so I could see Alternis smile. I suddenly couldn't remember the last time I'd seen him do so. I let out a small chuckle of my own, letting him know that what I'd just said was light-hearted teasing.

It was a completely inappropriate moment to do it, but suddenly I was full on laughing. I didn't know why, but I was letting loose a lot of emotion and then he was actually laughing with me. His laugh sounded bizarre and uncertain as if he didn't do it often and therefore needed to get used to it, but it ultimately sounded magical and beautiful to me. I didn't know why we were even laughing in the first place. Maybe it was the relief that finally the festival was over, that Alternis and I were sharing a moment, or that I'd finally figured out who Concordia Dim was.

_The Matriarch_. I sobered up, and Alternis followed a little while afterward. I knew that I needed to tell him, but I wanted what was happening between us to last a little longer. Instead, I said, "That's the first time in a long time that I've heard you laugh." Memories of us as children suddenly flooded my mind. We used to be so happy then.

I could tell he too, was thinking of us as children. "Does it displease you?"

"I think you should do it more often."

I may have said that, but I didn't believe he would any time soon.

* * *

**PHEW.**

**Sorry for the long time it took for me to update. I must confess, my interest in this fandom began to wane the past few months or so, and I just wasn't really feeling up for any kind of interaction with it, but I felt like it would be a real shame if I abandoned this story, especially when I've come so far. At the end of the day, I still really enjoy writing about Edea and Alternis and I'd feel incomplete if I never finished this. That being said, I think I might have to cut out some of the plot points I'd originally planned out just because it's already getting very long.**

**Moving on, I really hope this chapter does not disappoint you and makes up for the lost time since _so_ many things happen here!**

**We still have about 1-2 chapters (I'm thinking only one chapter is needed, but I have to double check and see if there are any loose ends I'm missing) left of Florem to conclude the events, but the Festival is officially over so rest easy with that!**

**As always, I encourage you all to drop a review/fav/follow if you have any kind of feedback, no matter who you are. And as always, thank you for those who have already done so. Your support means the world to me.**


	22. The Matriarch's Tale

Alternis led us to the palace doors, bowed stiffly to the Matriarch. "I trust you can find your way in?"

"Yes," I answered for her. "Where will you be?"

"I have to head back to the men and then the sewers." He took his helmet off. His sweaty hair was plastered to his face which he wiped away with one hand.

I heard the Matriarch's sharp intake of breath. For a moment, I thought the Matriarch would've told him then, but instead she watched him, her gaze curiously withdrawn. He turned to go, but I grabbed his arm.

"Alternis," I said softly and he turned around, his gaze riveted to my hand. His gaze trailed up to my eyes. I couldn't help myself; I stepped closer to him and went on tiptoe. I still couldn't whisper in his ear, so I pulled him down until my mouth was at his ear. "I want to thank you for everything that you've done for me."

I watched him flush deeply. It made me dizzy to see the effect I had on him. It was even stranger that my own heart was beating fiercely, that I was so close to him that I could smell the sweat on his skin, and feel the heat radiating off him. "Is that all?" he murmured back, his voice low and extremely close. Our cheeks weren't touching, but they might as well be.

"I want to make it up to you while we're still here," I said.

His voice was slightly strained. "How will you do that?"

"Meet me tomorrow. We'll discuss it then." I tightened my grip on his armored arm, then let go of him.

I watched him leave, then turned back to the Matriarch. "He looks nothing like you," I stated, refusing to be embarrassed by my display of affection in front of her. _She may have birthed him, but she did not raise him_. I thought to myself.

"He looks nothing like the boy I knew. His hair used to be more golden," she said, her gaze still trained on him as he turned a street corner. Then she turned to me also. "I had no doubts earlier, but this still confirms it; you care for him."

"Of course I do." I turned away from her and headed into the palace. _That's more than I can say for you_. The instant I thought the words, I regretted them. I still didn't know the whole story here. "We grew up together."

The Matriarch gave me a knowing look. "And yet you do not treat him as you would a brother."

I felt my face heat up. I couldn't deny it. There was once a time that maybe I thought of Alternis as somebody who was my protector. Maybe there was once a time where he could have been a brother but the truth was he had left to become a Dark Knight, and I had left to learn the way of the sword, then turn traitor on my country, and we had gone our separate ways. I realized I hadn't known him at all, save for the parts he'd shown me. That he could be fiercely loyal and protective. That underneath the harshness and the cool head, he loved too much for his own good and used the pain from this as his strength. I understood this part about him the most. I faced the Matriarch. "What are you going to do now that you know he's your son?"

She flinched at that word. "I don't know," she admitted. "I need to tell him, I know I must." Her face was filled with regret. I knew she was in pain.

"You can't," I interrupted.

Anger flashed through her eyes. "Why not? I haven't seen him in years! I have every right-"

"No, you don't. You forfeited that right when you left him stranded." I interrupted coldly. Then, I added in a softer tone, "You don't know what he's like, Concordia." She flinched when I used her name. "He considers your abandonment the ultimate betrayal and this is eating him up. He thinks the way to end this is through blood."

The Matriarch went white. "What do you mean?" she whispered.

"You know what I mean." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "You can't tell him."

"He has every right to know, though. Does he not deserve to know my side of the story?"

I was torn. On one hand, who was I to keep this information from Alternis? On the other hand, if Alternis was to murder his mother, it would be a serious crime akin to regicide. To assassinate a leader was surefire death to Alternis, and no doubt it would cause a war that would never end in my lifetime between Florem and Eternia, especially since Alternis was on the Council of Six. To stall time, I asked, "What _is_ your side of the story, then?" Because if I said I wasn't curious about the reasons to her abandoning him, I would be lying. From what Alternis told me, it seemed that she really had loved him, and it looked like she still did if she was willing to tell him even after hearing that her son could harm her physically.

Her shoulders sagged and she bent her face, her wispy veil covering her face. "It's a story that would not abate his anger toward me, I can tell you that much."

"Let me be the judge of that," I said.

She looked up at me again. "Very well," she said, sounding utterly defeated. "I never thought I'd tell this tale to anybody. First, you must know that Alternis's father died shortly after we... met. I was lucky, because whatever happened between us was entirely consensual. He was a nice man, fairly successful as a merchant, and as far as I knew all his conquests in Florem were the sole efforts of his ability to charm any woman he was with. He traveled to Florem year after year, and he bedded many women though he claimed he had always come here because he'd wanted to woo me. I knew he was lying, but I didn't care; I was flattered by his designs on me. The last year he came here, I finally obliged him one night after days of asking. I had turned eighteen, the customary year when women of old wealth came out as full-grown ladies. Many parties and dances are thrown for women of old wealth once they turn this age. In one of these dances, I agreed to be his lover for the month he was there.

"There were no delusions between us. Though I knew he was unmarried, he made it perfectly clear that he did not want marriage or any sort of commitment which I understood too well, as a woman from Florem. We spent a month, and then he left. A few weeks later, the possibility that I could be pregnant overtook me. I wrote to him, and told him the news. He was familiar with our customs, knowing that if our child was a boy, he would take care of him and that if it was a girl, I would take care of her and he was fully prepared to do such a thing." The Matriarch paused and lifted her skirts so that she could cross the bridge crossing over the pond full of koi fish. I watched the black and white koi slowly and lazily swim to the far right. When we reached the middle of the bridge, she stopped and leaned over the railing, staring at the pond.

"About six or seven months into my pregnancy, I got news that he died. He had been selling his wares in the Harena desert and a group of nomadic raiders ambushed him and a few of his friends and killed him, when he refused to give up his wares." She gave a laugh devoid of humor. "My mother was upset when she found out. To have a baby boy is considered horrible luck, but to abandon it, rather than send it to the father is even worse."

I couldn't keep myself from interjecting hotly, "Oh good, I was beginning to think that Floremese women were heartless toward their baby boys."

The Matriarch said nothing to that, instead choosing to continue her tale, as if she hadn't heard me. I still caught the wounded look in her eye. "I prayed to the Crystals every waking minute afterward that I'd have a baby girl. Imagine my disappointment when a blond baby boy came out instead. My mother was furious. She called me many names that day, but what really stuck with me was that I was a disappointment. I was not smart, nor particularly beautiful. The only thing going for me was that I came from old wealth. I always wanted to prove myself to her, so I agreed that I had the strength to get rid of my child myself, though typically somebody else does it."

"Let me guess... You couldn't do it," I said.

"I couldn't. I was close to dumping him on the outskirts of Florem, but I looked at him and..." The Matriarch shrugged. She looked close to tears again, but somehow managed to choke them back. "I was weak. I couldn't do it. I gave him to one of the farmers living on the outskirts to care for him temporarily, promising that I would return for him soon. Those living on the outskirts sometimes disguise their boys as daughters, so they are not as repulsed as those in the main city are. I moved out of my mother's house, got an apartment for myself and came back from him. I made sure he was hidden from everybody else. In the mean time, now that I was out of my mother's shadow, I began to start making myself useful. I did a lot of charity work and made a name for myself, until I was approached by three women."

I couldn't begin to guess as to who they were, but I didn't have to wait long. The Matriarch looked around the room, her eyes darting about suspiciously. Then she said in undertones, "It was the advisors."

"The advisors?" Her behavior toward them puzzled them. Once again, it was like _they_ ruled over her, rather than the other way around.

"Yes, the previous Matriarch's advisors. They'd told me the Matriarch was growing ill and that there was nothing more they could do to save her. Now they were looking for a new Matriarch and was interested in me. The only problem was that I-"

"Had Alternis," I finished.

"Precisely. Alternis was under my care, and I wasn't about to give him up in order to be Matriarch. I didn't even _want_ to be Matriarch, but they claimed this was precisely why I was perfect for the job. They wouldn't leave me alone and kept pressuring me, until one day they found out my secret." Her voice shook in fear.

"You can't imagine how scared I was that day. To this day, I had never told anybody about keeping Alternis alive. Them finding out was a... well, it was a disaster. I almost left Florem but they didn't give me a chance. They told me I had to make a choice - the good of Florem or Alternis. When I chose Alternis, they called my mother who then gave me an ultimatum; either she would kill Alternis herself, or I would abandon him. She said terrible things to me that night like how foolish I was to pick a _boy_ over leader of Florem. She told me that it was only a matter of time before Alternis was found out because I couldn't keep him here forever. She said that he would grow to be a _man_ and someday come and rape me. She locked me in my apartment for weeks, telling me all sorts of things until I... I just wanted it to end."

"You wanted it to end?" I repeated as a question.

"I finally accepted the role, thinking she was right anyway, that all men were pigs and that eventually Alternis would have turned out to be a monster much like many of the men who visited Florem were. By this time, I'd learned that I'd been one of the lucky few who had the pleasure of a man who was willing to be with me as long as it was my choice. Most of my friends had been sexually harassed or raped by this point. The odds that Alternis wouldn't turn into that was... slim. This is what I said to justify myself from taking up the role of Matriarch but I think it was because I caved under my mother's demands. I agreed to be Matriarch on two terms," the Matriarch said, and I could see that her tale was winding to a close.

"The deal was that I would personally see Alternis off myself. And the second deal was that once I became Matriarch, I would be able to pass a law protecting women from rape." She swallowed. "I walked him one last time for a picnic, made all his favorite things. We had a perfect day, and then I told him I'd come back for him at night, that I was just getting him a present."

The thought of a young, happy Alternis waiting there for the only person he'd ever known in his life and loved, absolutely tore me apart. I couldn't help the tears that gathered at the edges of my eyes. "Oh Crystals..." I whispered shakily. I had no strength to be angry at the Matriarch. I was so horrified, so full of despair at the thought of him just waiting for a mother that would never come. "You never came back for him."

The Matriarch looked beyond tears, but her face was a mixture of shame and guilty. "In the end, that was the only part of the deal that I fulfilled. The other deal, the bill I wanted to pass didn't."

"Why is that?" I asked, managing to tear the image of a small Alternis away from my mind.

"I can only do so much as Matriarch. When it comes to passing new laws and bills, I can only have a hand in drafting them. The public is the one that votes."

I frowned. "You're not saying that they voted against it, are you?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. Of course, it didn't take long for me to figure out the reason why." She pushed herself away from the rail and continued to walk across the bridge. I followed her. "When the three of you caught Fiore DeRosa and told me he was responsible for the madness going on in Florem, I had my guards infiltrate his dungeon and found documents that alluded to the fact that he had a hand in persuading many women to vote against the bill. They were completely under his spell."

"Him alone?" For as much as I hated DeRosa and knew he had the kind of brains to be behind this kind of scheme, I found it hard that Mephilia, Einheria and Artemia willingly went along with this plan. Then again, Mephilia was half-crazy and Artemia did whatever Einheria told her to do. It still bothered me that Einheria would stoop this low, and in any case, the three of them alone couldn't convince at least half the population to pushing the vote in his favor.

"No. It wasn't his guard either. He convinced many of the men currently visiting Florem at the time to threaten and coerce as many women as they could into voting against the bill."

That son of a bitch. I couldn't believe this. Wait, but who was I kidding? Of course it made sense. Most of the men that visited Florem would definitely hate having a bill like this pass. I'd seen it myself on the streets.

"The bill didn't pass, and I simply assumed it was because none of these women wanted it."

"You believed that?" I almost yelled incredulously.

The Matriarch covered her face in her hands. "My greatest mistake was not trusting my people. I was at a point where I believed in nothing anymore, but I should have believed in them, DeRosa or not."

My blood boiled at his name. I regretted a lot of blood I'd spilt in the past, but I'd never regret killing him. "But he's dead now, my lady. You could try again."

"He may be dead, but what of the other men? They did it once. They could do it again."

I realized she was right. "If these men are the problem," I said slowly. "Then how about this? During the voting time, make it so that men cannot enter Florem. That way they can't threaten the women into voting so that it suits them."

"But I'd have to pass yet another law for that. A law that men would also try to block."

A frustrated growl ripped through my lips. She was right. How could nobody in the past have foreseen this and rectified it earlier? I chewed on my lip uncertainly. There _had_ to be a way around this.

"You see my problem?" The Matriarch said, watching me.

I frowned, rubbing my chin. I knew this wasn't my problem, that I shouldn't be helping solve it. I'd come here only for two reasons; to help the representatives and reforge bonds between Florem and Eternia. This wasn't my problem, but I'd made it my business.

"My son-"

"You can't tell him," I cut her off sharply. "Like I said before, there needs to be a way to handle this delicately." She flinched at my no-nonsense voice so I added in a gentler voice, "I know you felt pushed to doing the impossible and that this isn't entirely your fault but Alternis isn't going to see it that way, at least not at first. He's built up a lot of resentment to you these past few years. Let me work on him first."

"But he's my..." she trailed off helplessly. I saw that this was really ripping her apart.

And I realized that despite being Matriarch, despite going through everything to make herself forget her past attachments she'd never forgotten them truly.

Maybe we'd never forget the horrible things we'd done in the past.

* * *

By the time I made it up the hill, the sky was beginning to turn a deep orange and Alternis was already there on the ground, his back toward me. A soft breeze blew through his hair, no longer worked into Ringabel's pomade. He had spread out a blanket and a picnic basket. Next to the basket was a bottle of wine and two glasses.

This was a date, I realized, my heart thudding. At least, it _felt_ like one. But I hadn't explicitly told Alternis this was a date. Suddenly, I was unsure of what I was wearing. I had on a loose white sundress that cinched at the waist and had spaghetti straps tied up in a bow at each of my shoulders. I had foregone my usual bow and instead left my hair totally down.

He was glancing at the sky, looking seemingly relaxed and half lying down on his back, his long legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles, and his upper body propped up at the elbows.

I sighed, wishing I could freeze this moment forever, but he heard me and he pulled himself up and turned to me. "You don't have to do that," I said. "You looked... good before," I said awkwardly.

Slowly, he sat down again and this time his back was ramrod straight and his legs were crisscrossed. His eyes flashed to me briefly, his gaze lingering for just a second longer at the straps on my shoulders. I pretended not to notice, and instead, sat down next to him and opened up the basket.

There were sandwiches, chocolate croissants, fruit and cheese. We ate in silence, watching the sun slowly get closer to the horizon. The same sense of calmness, similar to the time when I'd made up Alternis's hair and he'd fallen asleep with my hands in his hair, washed over me.

"How were the sewers?" I asked, after some time.

He sighed. "What can you expect? They didn't want to go back. I hated having to lead them there but I don't know where else to put them. Our ship simply doesn't have the room."

"It's my fault for giving them any hope that this could have turned out for the better," I said. I couldn't imagine how they must have felt.

"No, Edea. You were right about doing what you did. It wasn't the best plan but it was bold. I think that's what Florem needed. Something bold to wake them up."

"Well, a lot of good that did," I muttered, taking a bite of a chocolate-covered croissant and relishing in the sweetness. "They're still there, and I don't think anybody's going to be passing any laws." I stuffed the rest of the croissant in my mouth angrily. It pissed me off to no end that there was no easy way around this.

I felt Alternis's eyes on me, as if he was questioning me silently, but I wasn't about to tell him about the heart-to-heart talk I had with the Matriarch. In the end, he said, "Well, at least Ivan and Vlad are no longer a problem."

My stomach churned. "Unless somebody finds their bodies."

"They won't." Alternis sounded so sure, that I knew he'd done something about them. "Anyway, they got what they deserved."

"Yeah, that'll teach them to mess with me," I said, a mutinous scowl on my face.

Alternis let out a soft laugh, which surprised me. "What?" I demanded.

"It's not really funny," he hastily said. "But you've got chocolate all over your mouth and that face you just pulled along what we were just talking about..."

I grinned and licked my lips. Sure enough, I tasted sweetness. In a mock-serious voice, I said, "That'll teach anyone to take away my chocolate from me."

Seeing him try and fail to resist another laugh lifted my heart. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and started on a sandwich. The moment we shared was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before with him and I found myself loving every moment of it.

I swallowed the last of my sandwich. "This is nice," I finally said, stretching out. And it was. The last time I'd gotten down time in Florem was when Agnès and I sat at the coffee shop. So much had happened since then.

"It is," Alternis said, his voice reflective, taking a sip of wine. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "I can't remember the last time we were like this together."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you know, not arguing. Not working. Just... together."

I turned to face him. He wasn't looking at me, but his gray eyes were still thoughtful. I elbowed him playfully, throwing him slightly off balance. "Who knew that you could actually make for pleasant company?"

He caught my arm so that he didn't topple over completely and used me to anchor himself straight. For a moment we froze, me leaning into him, him looking down at me, his eyes unblinking as he stared down at me. "And who knew that you could be so..." his voice tapered off, and I never got the chance to hear the rest of it. His Adam's apple in his throat bobbed when he swallowed. I licked my lips and he was watching me lick them, utterly and completely absorbed. He leaned down to my face and my heart stuttered to a stop.

The next moment his mouth was on mine, and it was soft, and perfect when he kissed me.

And then he he was doing it again, this time his mouth a little hotter, a little wetter, and I...

I was kissing him back. He leaned into me, his mouth working against mine. His kisses became longer and deeper until I opened my mouth totally to his. I didn't know how long we were kissing, my mind buzzing with nothing but pleasant thoughts. I wasn't thinking about anything except how right this felt. Dimly, I felt one of his hands fumble for my spaghetti strap and begin to undo the bow there, and felt my insides coil as I realized where this was headed. I'd been kissed before plenty of times, and had kissed other boys, but Alternis was unexpectedly _really_ good. Good enough for me to melt into his arms, thinking I'd worry only after everything between us was over. "Alternis," I couldn't help but sigh in a voice that betrayed how much I wanted this, how much I wanted him to go further.

And just like that, as if his name had put him in his place, he froze and his mouth was off me and he was staring at me with horror-filled eyes. I was too dazed by what was happening to realize that he'd stopped. He let go of me as if he'd been electrocuted, and looked away from me, clearly embarrassed.

It took me a moment to register what had just happened and when I did, I was hurt. But more than that, I wanted answers. "What was that?"

"I apologize," he said in a strained voice. He put his hands in his face and scrubbed at it.

"For what?" I asked, my voice a little testy but also a little faint. I'd been so sure he wanted me to the extent that he couldn't keep his hands off me. And I'd actually wanted it. He had to know that, right?

He pulled his legs up and wrapped his hands around his knees, still not looking at me. He was slightly red in the face. "I... I don't know how I feel about you," he admitted finally. Uncomfortably.

I don't know why this answer made me angry, but it did. I didn't bother to consider that perhaps the reason why I was angry was because I was hurt, and more importantly, I felt...

Betrayed.

"You seemed to know all those months ago when you said you wanted to make me your bride." These were words I should have thought, but I said them out loud, and that was my mistake. I saw him flinch as if he'd been struck. My fingers went cold when I realized what I'd just said, and now I could see the impact of my words spiderwebbing across his face, like he couldn't believe I'd just thrown that at him.

"Damn you," he whispered to me, and there was only shock laced with pain. He moved away from me slightly as if I repulsed him. "My proposing to you was a mistake, and you know it. That's why you rejected me then. I was too blind to see it before, and it seems now too."

"A mistake?" I echoed sharply.

"I don't want to talk about this," Alternis said scooting away from me and preparing to cross his arms.

"Well _I_ do," I said scooting toward him and grabbing his arms. He flinched at my touch which made me angrier. Just a second ago he couldn't take his hands off me and now he was repulsed by my presence? I needed answers. I tugged him toward me so that he could face me. "A mistake, Alternis?"

He finally met my eyes, his gray ones hot and damning. "Yes, Edea. A mistake. Because when I proposed to you I thought I loved you."

Thought. Some part of me was a little thrilled that he had once thought he had loved me, rather than proposing only for my title as I'd thought earlier. A little part of me felt awkward at this sudden admission.

But wait. Wait.

He had said thought. That was past tense. My hands slackened on him. _And I thought I didn't love him at the time._

So why did I feel so horrible that he had once thought it as opposed to now? Hadn't I told him on the ship when we were fighting that it wasn't the time to discuss it? And I'd never entertained the thought much afterward either. Why did I feel so offended when I should be relieved that he didn't? The Edea on Grandship would have definitely been relieved, so why did I feel like I'd been slapped in the face?

I stared at Alternis. I certainly cared about him. It was hard to say I didn't after everything we'd been through, and after everything we'd done for one another. There had been times where I'd found myself attracted to him on this journey, if I was to be honest with myself. The culmination of the many times I'd found his presence alluring had led to this moment, no doubt. But _love_ Alternis? To see myself loving him? That couldn't be true and yet... that could be the only reason why his words cut into me so deeply.

I had to face the facts; it was possible that I was in love with Alternis.

"You... don't?" I swallowed. "You don't anymore?" I leaned away from him, my arms dropping from him. I was utterly shattered. My heart seemed frozen, my blood standing absolutely still.

His eyes widened; I didn't know what my expression was, but it had to be bad to have him grab me. "Edea, listen to me," he said. "_Listen_."

My eyebrows gathered together as I studied him. He circled his arms around my shoulders and drew me a little closer so that now our knees were touching and I was staring him face to face. I suddenly didn't know if I wanted him around me.

He swallowed. He was nervous. He looked away from me for a minute, then I felt his arms around me tighten slightly, as if he was bracing himself for what he was about to say. "You have to understand what was going through my mind the day I said I wanted to make you my bride. I always saw you differently when we were young. I saw you as somebody I wanted to protect, who needed protecting. You were so small and rash, but also possessed a kindness that attracted me to you. You saved me because you never gave up on me when we were kids and I loved you for that so I promised myself I'd protect you, even more so than any of the Lees. When I went away to train as a Dark Knight, and I left you behind, I expected that someday I'd come back and sweep you off your feet but then you went and defied orders and suddenly my dreams were shattered."

He hung his head and his forehead touched my shoulder, his skin against mine. "You were different. You were still stubborn, still capricious, still ridiculously impossible but you were no longer trailing me. You no longer sought my protection, and I saw how hurt the Lord Marshal and Lady Lee were, even if they tried to mask it in their own ways. Your father tried to mask his pain by saying it was perfectly acceptable to kill you if you resisted too much. Lady Lee masked her pain by smiling and claiming she was proud of you, and maybe she was... but she was still hurt deep inside. When I confronted you on the ship, I didn't realize how much you'd changed. I thought perhaps you were the same Edea as you were when you were a child and so I proposed."

"And I brushed it off," I responded numbly, staring straight ahead, engulfed by his presence. It was strange how before, when we had our hands all over each other, he was focused completely on wrapping himself around me. Now, he seemed to be shrinking to fit himself into me.

"These past few months since then, I realized proposing to you was wrong because I'd never thought you'd change. I never counted on it." He sighed through his nose and I felt his breath mist over my bare arm. "I've tried to keep my distance and I've been trying to reacquaint myself with you at the same time and it's hard because half of me wants you so badly, and the other half knows that I can't because that girl no longer exists. So much time has passed between us, Edea, don't you see? We are no longer the same people we were as children. How can I know I want you, when I don't know you?"

So that was it.

And he was right, I realized. When I looked down, his face was still nestled into my shoulder. He was a Dark Knight, thriving off his dark past. He wasn't just the sullen yet frightened boy I'd once known as a little girl. And I wasn't just a girl who neatly divided people into black and white groups. Our experiences apart divided us.

I lifted his face to mine and leaned my forehead against his. Our lips were only inches apart, but kissing was the last thing on my mind. "We can still try," I said, and suddenly I felt like crying. Now that I'd gotten a taste of something that _could_ be, it seemed torturous that it couldn't happen. I'd been _so_ close... _We_ had been so close. "I... I _know_ you. We can still do this."

"Can we, Edea? We've only _just_ started getting along. Before that we were arguing. Before that, I wanted to murder you as I'm sure you wanted to throttle me. A relationship could ruin what we have now." His forehead was warm against mine. "It could jeopardize everything if one of us decided we were incompatible. Back at the ship, I was _devastated_ enough to let you and your friends overpower me into losing, even though at the time I was a better warrior. And..." he said even more quietly. "What would your father think?"

I removed myself from him. The last thing I cared about was Mother and Father's approval. I had done worse around them. No doubt, Mother would perhaps be beyond thrilled. Father... I had no idea how he'd react, but it didn't matter.

I swallowed. I'd never faced anything so painful before. In my heart, I thought he was stupid for being unsure, but I knew that I also had to respect his wishes to take things slow.

"I agree," I said quietly. My spaghetti strap was still untied so I began to redo it.

Alternis tore his eyes away from my strap and raised an eyebrow at me. He looked unsure. "You... you do?"

I took a deep breath. I didn't want to be around him. I couldn't even _look_ at him right now, now that I was so sure of my own feelings. I wanted to run away from him. I bit my lip. "Yeah," I said, my heart beating painfully slow, like it didn't have the will to beat on its own anymore. I forced myself to look up, but I still couldn't look into his eyes. "Duty over everything else."

"Edea..."

"No," I said, my voice getting stronger, trying to convince myself. "A month ago, I didn't want you on this expedition and now I'm kissing you?" I gave a short, laugh that sounded totally wrong. "I'm not thinking clearly. It was stupid."

He reached for me. "Edea, it's not stupid-"

I flinched away from his arms. I didn't want him to comfort me right now. The last thing I needed was for him to say anything like that to me and there was only one way to get him off my case. I looked into his eyes and said, "I wanted you to be Ringabel too much, I suppose."

It had the desired effect. His arms dropped to his side limply. He looked like he'd been slapped across the face.

"Alternis, it's probably best you stopped acting as him anymore. I'm not over him."

It was strange that up until the minute I told him that, I realized now it was a lie. It couldn't have been further from the truth. Because the truth was that I thought I was over Ringabel. I couldn't remember the last time I'd thought about him.

"If that's what you wish," Alternis said after a moment. It felt disgusting lying to him the way I did but I had to protect myself. And right now, the only way I could possibly do that was to get him away from me so that I could get over him quicker.

"It's up to you," I corrected. "But I think we both know that it's probably best you don't." I stood up, scooping the picnic basket with me. "Now if you'll excuse me," I said. "I have business to attend to."

* * *

I really _did_ have business to attend to. Business that didn't involve Alternis. I walked to the Water Temple by myself. The trip was peaceful and uneventful, which frustrated me. Where were the monsters when I needed them most? I needed a distraction. My thoughts kept drifting back to Alternis and the way he'd looked at me right before he'd kissed me. I kept thinking about the way his lips had felt on mine, and then the way he'd looked at me when he said he wasn't sure how he'd felt about me.

I had been _so_ sure he had but now I was uncertain. I tried to banish what just happened from my mind. There were more important things to think about after all. And the first thing on my list was Agnès. Our fight had gone on for too long and I missed my friend.

There was also the Matriarch to think about. Part of me didn't know how I was supposed to even confront Alternis on this issue anymore when I couldn't bear being around him.

Night had fallen. The stars were supposed to be romantic, but they just seemed cold and distant. Around me, things rustled, I heard the sounds of water falling and I was glad for the solitude. I recalled the time I went to the Wind Temple. It had been hot then.

And Alternis had accompanied me and had carried me to the temple when I passed out.

_Stop thinking about him!_ I thought to myself but it was no use. The whole journey there, my mind found ways to connect any of my thoughts back to him, and then I'd recall our conversation.

By the time I'd reached the Water Temple, I was almost relieved that I was confronting Agnès. The doors were open and I felt the solemnity of the temple's atmosphere wash over me. As usual, the temple's aura made me uncomfortable. I hated how still this place was. It felt like a graveyard.

The last time I'd stepped foot here, everything was covered in dust and it looked like it had been abandoned for years. Now, I saw a few acolytes walking about, their footsteps soundless against the stone floor. The place was now clean, though it still felt somber, as if not enough people filled its insides. The Wind Temple had been bustling with activity when I visited it. By comparison the Water Temple looked almost barren. I knew that this was because Florem was still largely apathetic toward Crystalism, but it still made me kind of sad that this temple was almost empty.

I wandered about before I finally located Agnès. She was on the second floor, sitting on one of the tables with a book propped out in front of her. Nervously, I watched her from afar, noting how at peace she looked. I'd never noticed how peaceful and at ease she looked when she was in one of these temples. Of course though, it made sense. This was the kind of environment she grew up in. This was home to her, not the outside.

Silently, I approached her. She was so absorbed in her tome that she didn't notice I was here until I took a seat. Even still, she didn't acknowledge my presence.

"Agnès," I said, and I was surprised at how weary I sounded. "You can't keep being mad at me forever. Please, just talk to me."

Silence. A rustle of a page.

"I miss you," I said quietly. I knew she had to be listening. "We've been through so much together. Somewhere along the way, I must have forgotten how much I valued us. It's been so difficult for me lately and I made some bad choices." I hesitated. She still didn't say a word. I sighed. "Florem has been a disaster. You wouldn't believe the kind of week I've had." It was hard to believe it had only been a week since everything had happened.

I waited for her to say something, but again, she was silent. But it had been awhile since she'd turned a page so I assumed that even if she was choosing to say nothing, she was still listening and that's all I needed. I needed somebody to listen to me.

So I started from when Vlad and Ivan cornered me right before the Spring Festival and ended right until Alternis rejected me. I saw Agnès's knuckles turn white as she gripped the edges of the book when I told her about the second time Vlad and Ivan cornered me and Alternis had shooed them away. When I told her about Alternis and the boys in the sewer, I heard her sharp intake of breath. When I got to the part where Alternis and I ended up killing Vlad and Ivan and it was revealed that they Krov's followers, she put her book down and stared at me, her dark brown eyes looking a strange mixture of horrified, sympathetic, and puzzled.

"And now, I've lost him too," I finished, once I recounted Alternis's story too.

Agnès stared at me for a long moment. Then her eyes slipped down to the book she was perusing.

"Oh, come on, Agnès. Say something!" I said frustrated. Her eyes jerked back to me and she closed the book.

"Edea," she said softly. "I'm not mad at you anymore. In fact, I don't think I ever was beyond that day when you told me about Victoria and the vestaling."

"You... weren't?" I said.

She shrugged. "Not because of that, at least." She sighed and her shoulders slumped. "I feel so lost, Edea compared to you. You have been accomplishing so much, I feel as if you've left me in the dust. I feel as if I have no purpose in my life."

I stared at her aghast. "What are you talking about?"

She gestured at me. "Look at you, Edea! You may feel that you are bogged down with so many problems but look at the difference you are making each time, even if you fail, there's still an impact you create. As for me... sometimes I wonder if what I'm doing is really okay."

"What do you mean?"

She sighed and flipped her brown hair over her shoulder impatiently. "Before we went on our adventures together I was so sure that being a Crystalist was the right way. Even in Eternia, when I first heard that the Earth Crystal was being used for white magic, I felt that it was wrong before learning the truth of how the Earth vestal died. But the more I've seen of the outside world, the more confused I get. And I feel bad because I should not be feeling this way. I am the last vestal, Edea. This is not the time for doubts. Especially after meeting with the water vestaling..." her voice drifted off. She bit her lip, clearly troubled.

I reached for her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. I knew somewhat what she was going through. It was, after all, something I'd gone through myself when I turned against Eternia. "Things were simpler back then, weren't they?" I said.

She laughed mirthlessly. "You don't know the half of it. Do you know..." she hesitated, the same way she did that time when we were about to pay Sage Yulyana a visit. She'd wanted to tell me something then too. Her brown eyes looked guilty. "I _miss_ Airy sometimes. Sometimes, when I am visited by the nightmares, I am glad for them because that is the only time I get to see her."

"But Agnès, she tried to kill us... and destroy the whole world!"

"I know that," cried a clearly distraught Agnès, throwing her hands up. "Don't you think I don't? How can I miss a friendship that was never really there? But I do... Airy was the first friend I'd had since Olivia. Before I even met Tiz she was the one I'd put my complete faith in and it nearly killed us all." She buried her face in her hands. "How weak and foolish was I to have done that? I feel responsible. I should have trusted Ringabel over her but instead I put my faith blindly in her until I could no longer..."

I squeezed her hand again, this time more tightly. I had no words for her this time because I had never gone through a betrayal so great as her's. For a brief moment, I felt a surge of raw hate toward the cryst-fairy. I wished I could kill her a million times over for the pain she was causing Agnès. "It'll be okay," I said reassuringly, because I couldn't think of anything else to say.

She shook her head. "Edea, what have I done? It is all thanks to my foolishness that I everything is so wrong with Crystalism."

"No it's not!" I said. "You mustn't blame yourself for everything, Agnès. Crystalism is a cause you should be fighting for, and it needs you now more than ever. And you know what I think? I think that doubting the cause you believe in is a _good _thing. If there's anything I've learned, it's that being the more sure I am of something, the less I know. I was so adamant on defying my father that I never got to hear his side of the story. If we perhaps had talked and put our heads together and used what information we had, we could have saved so many lives. And I think it's the same for you as well. If you hadn't traveled out of your temple, you would never have been able to spot all the corruption going on within your faith. You have a chance to make it right, Agnès and I _know_ you can rewrite it into something that you and other Crystalists can be proud of."

She pressed her lips tightly. She looked like she was going to cry, but she didn't. Instead, she squeezed my hand back. "I missed you, Edea," she said tremblingly. "You cannot know how much I needed to hear those words."

I felt my eyes burn with tears, but I smiled. "I missed you too. Now let's help repair the world."

* * *

**This is, by far, the longest chapter I've ever written! 8k words! Phew. And in less than a month too! I would have had this chapter out sooner, but Fanfiction's been acting up this past week or so. Hopefully it's been fixed for good though, otherwise I might just switch over to archive of our own instead.**

**Anyway, it took 22 chapters, but Alternis and Edea finally kissed... but it's too bad that Alternis doesn't know how to feel about it. Ah well, it can't be helped, can it? But at least Edea and Agnès have patched things up. And what about the Matriarch's confession? Do you think she's worthy of being redeemed?**

**I'm hoping the next chapter will be the last of Florem... We've been sitting here for too long, eh? Norende will not be as long, but at least we'll be able to see Tiz! And Eisen should also not be as long... I spent more time on Florem simply because of Alternis's backstory. I'm actually fairly certain that we're more or less halfway through!**

**As always, favs/follows/reviews are appreciated. And as always to all those who have done so, and will continue to do so; thank you most profoundly from the bottom of my heart. It really warms my heart.**


	23. Losing

I paced across the study room several times, trying to marshal my thoughts. In one corner, Agnès was watching me, her expression calm. Next to her was the Matriarch who looked nervous.

In front of me were three seats and in each of the three seats were my chosen candidates.

"That smelly ship would be our headquarters?" Praline asked, raising her upturned nose higher in the air as a show of snootiness.

"Yes," I responded. "And it's not really smelly. It's actually... nice." Some of my fondest memories took place on Grandship after all. I'd felt my most complete with Tiz, Agnès and Ringabel at my side with Zatz and Datz bantering off in a corner and the Proprietress's hot meals. "The Proprietress is an excellent cook too."

Praline's glare only worsened. "Are you saying I like food because I'm fat?"

"Not at all," I said quickly. "Just that I miss her cooking." _And her_, I added silently to myself. The Proprietress would make an excellent candidate as a delegate for the UNL. But I strongly suspected that she'd never become entangled in politics. The Drunken Pig and her cooking seemed to be the only things she was passionate about. It made me envious, knowing what a simple life she led.

"We'd have to live there?" Kaimi asked. Out of the three, she seemed most excited. Perhaps at the prospect that for once, she was stepping foot outside of Florem.

"Yes, at least for as long as your term runs," I explained. "It should be in your contract. You will be visiting Florem obviously frequently, just so that you're keeping in touch with the demands of your country and of course, you can bring any family as long as they're willing to come. You'll be paid by Florem. The Matriarch has promised to pay you handsomely."

The Matriarch gave a weak nod. Ever since she found out that Alternis was her son, she looked worse for wear. I suspected that she desperately wanted to tell him. Well, I thought to myself grimly. That would have to wait. I'd thought out exactly how to reveal to Alternis who his mother was, and I wasn't about to have my careful planning ruined if the Matriarch foolishly blurted out her secret. In this way, I hoped Alternis wouldn't be assassinating anybody.

But for now, I needed to focus my attention back to the three representatives I chose.

"It seems almost too good to be true," Kaimi muttered under her breath.

"It may sound too good, but it'll be hard work," I responded. "Acting as a sort of ambassador with the rest of the representatives from other countries in Luxendarc may be challenging. Not only that, but sometimes, you must understand that what you'll be doing isn't just for the good of Florem but for all of Luxendarc. I need you all to understand this first and foremost. Every decision you make needs to benefit Luxendarc as a whole even more than just your own country."

"That's not a problem," Kaimi said, folding her arms against her chest confidently.

I never thought Kaimi would be a problem. She seemed most knowledgeable about Florem in terms of its history and customs. She'd practically grown up in a library. I had also chosen Praline because she had been familiar with traveling and I also knew that she was miserable in Florem. Coupled with her unusually sharp mind and insight into politics, thanks to being a high ranking member of the Black Blades, she also seemed an ideal choice.

My last choice was questionable. She sat there in her seat, legs crossed, arms tightly folded and glaring at me. Rose didn't even want to be here, that much I knew. She hadn't so much as spoken a word since I welcomed everybody in. But I'd picked her because I knew that even though Rose understood Florem's problems and recognized that it was in serious need of reform, she still loved it very much.

Whether or not she hated me was a different story. I knew that my little stunt on the last day of the festival had done some serious damage in our relationship. I'd betrayed her trust, and what was more was that I had a strong feeling that Rose didn't exactly agree with me on giving the boys of Florem any sort of right to live here.

"I don't like work," Praline declared. "But I suppose leaving this hellhole is better than nothing."

"Rose..." I said softly toward the makeover expert.

She shook her head. "What makes you think that after everything you've done, I would make your life any easier?"

I blanched. "I thought-"

She held a finger up to silence me. "Please don't talk to me."

My heart twisted. I longed to explain myself, but I didn't know how to tell her when she wouldn't even listen to me.

"Believe me, I've been there before," Agnès said, behind me, surprising me.

"Excuse me?" Rose asked.

Agnès crossed her arms. She crossed one leg over the other and regarded Rose with a a slight smile on her face. "Edea does not make friendship easy. She makes careless mistakes. They are mistakes that make you want to rip your hair out and wish you'd never met her in the first place." She crossed her arms and looked away from us. "When I first met Edea, we were enemies and natural opposites. She was rash and bold. I was none of those things. It is a wonder we are still friends."

"But," she added softly, "Believe me when I say that she always means well. That is something you must understand about her."

Rose shook her head. "This is something I cannot forgive. We had a plan, she and I, and it might have actually worked before she betrayed me. What was that nonsense about letting the boys live here? You know that they are monsters! And yet, you think she always means well? If she meant well, she would have at least warned me what her real plan was."

I hung my head. "You're right," I said quietly. "I should have. But I thought you might have said no."

"I would have. This is something I can't support, Edea. Men are vile people. I can't accept them living amongst us. It would go against everything we stand for."

"And what exactly is that?" I shot back, all fire again. "Florem was built to be a safe haven for the abused! These boys have been discarded and have never known love. That in itself is abuse."

"Florem was built for the abused, yes, but it was built for abused _women_," Rose retorted. "These boys are not our problem!"

"How can you say that?" I said angrily.

"Ladies," the Matriarch said, and surprisingly there was a sound of authority in her voice. "I cannot abide by this. We are going nowhere here. Edea, I appreciate your effort here, but you are still an _outsider_. Please contain yourself."

I flinched at that.

"And you, Rose, I would have thought that your love of Florem would have far outstripped your disdain for Edea."

Rose looked outraged. "What do you-"

"I can't think of any reason why you would turn this position down except out of spite for Edea. It would be a foolish move indeed on your part, especially since Edea has lost the contest and you bet your salon that she would win."

My mouth dropped open. Had I heard correctly? "You bet your salon that..."

"I don't care," Rose cut me off as if I wasn't there. Despite the fact that she was in flawless make-up, she turned a dark shade of red. "And how did you know about that?"

I couldn't believe she had bet her whole salon that I'd win. All of a sudden, I could see now why she was so angry. It wasn't _just_ that she disagreed with my plan of making Floremese boys recognized as part of Florem society, I had taken her one hope of having her salon succeed and had crushed it firmly. I hadn't just crushed it, I'd spat on it, knowing all the while I was going to lose.

"I have my sources," the Matriarch said. "I kept a close eye on all the candidates. Your wife's business can't support the both of you for very long, but this position would compensate you _and_ you would be able to decide Florem's fate on big decisions. Yet you would refuse it just to make Edea's life more difficult?"

Rose opened her mouth, but no words came out. I could see the defeat on her face; she knew that the Matriarch had a point. I myself was surprised that the Matriarch had even defended me at all. Grudgingly, I had to admit that she was slowly gaining some of my respect. I would probably never grow to like the Matriarch, but this would be one of the only times I felt appreciative of her. I had to repay the favor.

"Think about it," Agnès said gently. "If you cannot find it in your heart to rise to the occassion, we shall find a candidate who would be willing."

Rose glared at me, her eyes unusually wet with hatred. I didn't say a word. What could I say? I'd unwittingly forced her into accepting if she ever hoped to make a livelihood. I stared back at her, trying to convey how sorry I was with one look.

Finally, after a few long moments, Rose snatched up the contract off the table, that detailed all her responsibilities as a delegate of the UNL. "From this moment on," she said in a voice swaddled in vengeance, "I no longer want to see you anymore. You are dead to me."

I couldn't help that, even though I'd accomplished everything I wanted, I'd lost.

* * *

In a few days, we were due for Caldisla and I couldn't be happier. I was starting to hate Florem and the beauty that surrounded it. I could tell that Agnès felt the same. She had assured me that the girl, the vestaling, had finally somewhat accepted her role reluctantly. As Agnès needed to head on to Eisenberg, she had arranged for some acolytes from the Wind Temple to stay and instruct the girl, and keep her company. "It's horrible to think that Florem has no more acolytes," she said, shaking her head.

I was quiet. From my window in my room at the palace, I could see my men assembled, running drills. I easily singled out Alternis. I couldn't help it - it was like he was a magnet to my eyes. Hastily, I turned away, trying to evict the memory of his lips on mine off.

What had happened was just a fluke, I reasoned with myself. I squared my shoulders. It was nothing more than just residual feelings for Ringabel.

Except, I hadn't thought about Ringabel in such a light, unless I absolutely had to.

Like now.

What did it say about me, that I was forcing myself to think about Ringabel, just to pull my thoughts away from Alternis?

"Are you even paying attention to me?" Agnès asked, lightly shaking my shoulder. She peered out the window too.

"What?" I asked startled.

"I said, that at least Eisenberg won't be too bad," Agnès said. "Now that the civil war is over and the Crystalists won, it shouldn't be too hard to find acolytes there."

I thought back to what Praline had said about the sword bearers. I pressed my lips together tightly. "Agnès," I said quietly. "If Florem was any indication of anything, I don't see how Eisenberg can be easy at all." I sighed. "Their region has just been destroyed by a horrible civil war. I can't imagine we'll have an easy time there."

"Each region has had their own problems and own personal war," Agnès pointed out.

I wanted to share her positive outlook, but I felt exhausted after Florem. "But none were as bad as Eisenberg. How many people gave up their lives for a war that should have never happened in the first place?" I leaned my head against the window and closed my eyes. "I can't shake the feeling that things are about to get worse."

Agnès squeezed my shoulder reassuringly. "I know things seem overwhelming," she said. "But just know that I'm with you. You can talk to me too, you know."

I sighed. "I appreciate that. It's just... the first person I went to after Ivan and Vlad came after me the first time was Rose. She was the only person I trusted in Florem and I messed things up with her. There's no way we can ever be friends again, not after what I did with her."

"One friendship that had hardly begun," Agnès said. "You still have Tiz and I."

I opened my eyes and faced her. "Do I?" I wondered. "Agnès, look what happened here! I almost lost you. We already seem to have lost Tiz with the way he's been corresponding with us. I shudder to think what we'll find when we stop by in Caldisla." I hugged myself tightly, lowering my head. I stared at my lap. "I'm beginning to turn into my father," I said quietly. "Ever since I could form any sort of conscious thought, I've always wanted to be him. I thought it was impossible at the time. I had to fight to get his approval, and he always seemed to grant Alternis more approval than I. And then when the chasm opened up and I turned traitor, I didn't want to be him anymore. Not exactly, anyway. Now that I've realized this, it feels like I'm turning into him with every decision I make."

"Edea-"

"It's true," I insisted. "Each region I visit leaves me with less friends and more enemies. Like my own father."

The silence that followed that statement was deafening. At least until Agnès sighed.

"What I'm about to tell you is something I have never said before though I see now that I should have," she said. "The truth is that it wouldn't be a bad thing to see your father in yourself. When all was said and done, he did what he felt was best. I have never known my own parents. Vestals rarely do." She smiled bitterly. "But I used to think the old vestal who brought me up was my mother. And I thought she was perfect. Imagine my sorrow when I realized she was not." She shrugged. "It's one of the first things we learn as vestalings. That vestals must strive to be perfect. I wondered why it was that it was only to strive and not _be_. Later on I realized that striving for perfection was not the same as _being_ perfect." As an afterthought she added, "I realized that after I acknowledged that I had feelings for Tiz. As a vestal, romantic relationships are forbidden and yet..."

I couldn't help the smile that snaked its way onto my face. "So you admit it," I said. "You have feelings for Tiz?"

She turned a bright red, and hastily changed the subject. "A-anyway," she said. "It was inevitable that you and I would not have an easy relationship, Edea. We are bound to disagree and argue from time to time but it still does not change the fact that you will always remain one of my dearest and closest friends. And I am sure that Tiz feels the same, even if he is not being very responsive at the moment." She seemed to speculate for a bit before finally adding, "And Alternis too."

I groaned. "I still have to get him to meet with the Matriarch." I contemplated taking my Templar asterisk as protection for the Matriarch, but the thought of being near him was depressing. "I feel like I've messed up everything between us," I lamented. "We had a good thing going on and I ruined it by jumping the gun. I shouldn't have kissed him."

"He shouldn't have kissed you," Agnès said, forcefully. "If he knew that he was so confused about you, that is."

I shook my head. "In a way, it makes sense. His reasoning, I mean." _And anyway, I don't really have time for personal relationships. Not with the way I'm going._ I got up, straightened my outfit, and said, in what I hoped was a forthcoming, confident voice, "I just have to move on. Pretend it never happened."

Right. Pretend it never happened.

I could do that. There had been times, when I'd kissed a boy and had a sparring match with him the very next day at Master Kamiizumi's dojo. I'd never let my personal feelings get in the way and concentrated instead, on knocking him out.

That was what I had to do with Alternis.

* * *

The Matriarch had been, understandably, confused. "I don't understand," she had said, when I told her I was going to get Alternis to meet her before I left. "You said he wanted to kill me."

"I think he does," I said. "But with the way I'm going to fix things, I think you two can finally share a room be civil about it once he knows about you."

"You have?"

I nodded.

"Could I know what it is?"

I felt a twinge of guilt but brushed it off. "Not until he gets here," I said. I wasn't sure if the Matriarch would agree to my terms if I said them before. I knew she desperately sought to tell Alternis the truth. But I also knew that she, above all else, considered Florem her child as well. It was hard to say which she would put over the other. It was why I wanted to put her off guard.

It sounded bad, but this was the only way to make a few things up with Alternis. And admittedly, I cared more about Alternis's feelings more than the Matriarch's.

After telling the Matriarch to wait in the conference room, I set out to find Alternis. I made sure to don my thief asterisk outfit. Since the festival, I was probably the most hated woman of Florem. I needed to lie low for my own sake. I crossed a street to where I'd seen the men doing drills earlier with Alternis but by the time I reached the area, most of them had dispersed and only a few of my men remained with Alternis.

"...Seems like she just makes things worse," one of my crewmen said, as I approached, prompting me to crouch behind a stack of barrels. I already knew what they were talking about.

Me.

"_And _traveling with a Crystalist, to boot," grumbled another. "The Lord Mashal's being too soft on her, if you ask me."

My heart plummeted at what they were saying. Great. The last thing I needed was my own crew losing faith in me.

Surprisingly, Alternis defended me. "I know it may sound shocking, but Crystalism isn't the problem here, as I'm sure you're aware. And I'm sure you must know the Lord Marshal isn't soft on anyone. Recall that he was willing to kill his own daughter."

I heard one of them scoff. "Now _you're_ getting soft, Commander Dim."

"And besides, as far as I'm concerned, that was just talk. You still _do_ got feelings for her, don't you?" another crewmate asked.

I inhaled sharply, at this, and I waited with bated breath at his response.

"I don't go soft," Alternis responded, his voice hard. "And my feelings are none of your concern. What should be however, is packing up these supplies to the Eschalot."

The attitude of the men with him seemed to change at this order. "Understood, Commander. We'll get it done. Apologies."

I heard a few of them scuffling off. It was quiet, for a few moments, and I almost considered getting up, when Alternis said, "What is it, Pike?"

The man, evidently named Pike, said, "You can't fool me. You _do_ still love her and I don't blame ya. She's a pretty one. Not as pretty as the vestal nor most of the women here, but still pretty. _Plus_, she's the Lord Marshal's daughter. That'd be a match-"

"I agree," Alternis cut him off. "It would be a desirable match, being a Lee." I couldn't help the outrage that seared through my body. It was as if he viewed me only as a _title_ not a _person_. "But let me be clear here; I do not love her." Outrage turned into despair. "As I said before, it is none of your concern."

Pike persisted, "An' why's that? Rumors say it's 'cos she rejected you."

I heard Alternis suck in an annoyed breath. "I only proposed to her _because_ she was a Lee. The fact that she rejected me has nothing to do with the state of my heart."

I'd had quite enough of this. Part of me wanted to slink away, but I knew I had to get this over with. I stood up, and luckily Pike and Alternis's backs were facing me. Alternis was dressed in his full armor. "Pike," I barked harshly, and the man turned around, looking visibly started, his blue eyes looking almost afraid.

"M-ma'am," he said, not meeting my eyes.

"Are you quite finished with him?" I nodded at Alternis. I tried not to show how annoyed I was at him.

"We were just about finished," Alternis said. "Did you need me?"

I squared my shoulders. My rage at him would have to wait. I took several deep breaths. "As a matter of fact, no. However, the Matriarch would like to see you." I watched him carefully and even though he was wearing that blasted helmet of his, he looked visibly confused. It seemed as if he really didn't know that the Matriarch was his real mother.

He turned to Pike. "Finish packing with the rest of the men. I'll track your progress later."

"Of course, commander." Pike saluted and hurried off, leaving Alternis and I alone.

For a few moments, we were silent before Alternis finally said, "Shall we go?"

"Of course," I said stiffly. I wondered if he knew I'd been listening in on his conversation. I told myself that I had no reason to be angry. After all, hadn't Alternis said more or less the exact same thing to my face yesterday? He had just been nicer yesterday saying he was confused, when the truth was, he'd never had any feelings for me at all.

But it didn't stop me from walking along quickly, so that we didn't have to walk together. He trailed several paces behind me, not making any effort to match my pace which was a relief. I longed to burst out that if he never had any feelings for me, why had he kissed me in the first place? But in that moment, the palace came into view and I realized that my feelings would have to wait. What Alternis was about to go through would change him for possibly ever.

I turned around to face him at the gates, forcing myself to look at his helmet. "Take it off," I said.

"What?"

"The helmet."

I almost expected him to refuse me or to ask why, but after a moment, he obeyed, his dark gray eyes flashing into mine. It became harder to look at him, so I turned away. It almost hurt. "Does the Matriarch really want to see me?" he asked. "I can't imagine why."

I was suddenly struck by an image of a young, innocent Alternis being led to a grassy field, only to be abandoned. I was about to do the same thing. I was going to bring him here with little warning. And suddenly, I didn't know if I could do it like this. He deserved some kind of warning, and I didn't know how to give it.

I turned to face him again, chewing on my lip. "Things are... really weird between us," I said. "Um, but, I just want you to know that I... I..." I didn't know what else I wanted to say. "I still care about you, so if you need to tell me anything..." I trailed off lamely.

Alternis raised an eyebrow at me. "You heard us back there, didn't you?"

I didn't want to talk about it. I was done talking about it with him. "It doesn't matter," I said.

He sighed deeply, leaning his long body against the wall sideways and crossing his arms. "Yes, it does. Look, Edea my, well _your_ men-"

"You don't need to explain anything," I said, cutting him off sharply. "This is not a conversation we need to have right now." If he continued, I was scared I was going to fall apart, and I couldn't afford that. "You need to see the Matriarch."

"The Matriarch can wait."

"No, she can't."

"What's wrong with you? You've always wanted to get me to talk about my feelings and now that I want to-"

I turned away from him. "Stop," I said in a voice that could only be described as weak and desperate. I stared at the palace that loomed over us and walked through the gates. My gait became more hurried, in an effort to get into a room where we weren't alone anymore.

"Edea," he said and I felt his hand close around my wrist and he pulled me toward him so that I could face him. There must have been some sort of expression on my face, because he let go of me, as if my hand was made of lava. "Something happened, didn't it? And it's not about us, is it?"

He knew me too well so I didn't answer. We were almost in the room I'd made the Matriarch wait at. "She found out didn't she?" I didn't know what he was talking about. "About Vlad and Ivan?" I'd almost forgotten about them.

I fumbled for the doorknob. "Just... don't do anything you'll regret." I hadn't noticed it, but this whole time my heart was pounding loudly.

"Edea...?" but I pushed the door open where the Matriarch was waiting and ushered him in before stepping in myself. I had already set my secondary asterisk to be templar, thankfully, but I wasn't sure if my defense was good enough for Alternis's offense.

I watched the Matriarch's face grow white at Alternis's appearance and this somewhat calmed me down. I wasn't the only one nervous.

"You called, your Majesty?" Alternis said, taking a seat opposite of her's. I sat inbetween them.

"You haven't told him?" The Matriarch looked at me, still growing whiter. She looked as if she was ready to throw up.

"Not yet." This was it. I had to play my cards right. I took a deep breath and faced Alternis. "The Matriarch has agreed to find a solution to the boys' living headquarters."

The Matriarch's jaw dropped, but before she messed this up for me and protested that she had agreed to no such terms, I said, "Isn't that wonderful?"

Alternis's eyebrows drew together as he considered this latest development. I was sure that he was confused. "Well, I can't say I'm not pleased by this latest development. But I _am_ puzzled as well. I'd always thought that you wanted to do what your people wanted which didn't include the interests of the boys."

The Matriarch's demeanor changed with this response in an instant, which was what I'd hoped for. "Wait... you approve?"

"Well, of course I do," Alternis said. "I grew up there after all. I probably would have been dead if it weren't for the Lord Marshal rescuing me."

"I know that," the Matriarch responded, her eyes growing wet. "I know you're from the sewers." She looked half scared out of her wits, but the next words that came out of her mouth were careful, but also clear. "I know because it was I who left you there."

Alternis's gaze flickered to mine for a moment, as if he needed confirmation that the Matriarch wasn't mad. Astonishingly, he grinned. Then he said at once, "You abandoned me? That's a lie. That would make you my..." It seemed like he couldn't finish the thought.

The Matriarch shook her head. "It's not a lie. I remember what I packed in that last lunch we shared together. I left you in that field and I never came back. I purchased that basket with my own money, and it was wicker made from actual oak tree fiber. I never saw it again."

Alternis looked back at me. "She's mad," he said, and the smile that graced his face transformed into something disbelieving yet wild. "Tell her she's mad."

I shook my head. I tried to slip my hand into his, but he wouldn't have it. "She's your mother, Alternis. Everything adds up."

He laughed. "_You're Concordia_?" He said between breaths of laughter. He was losing it. He clutched his sides and kept laughing and laughing. The Matriarch looked at him, her expression uncomfortable. He doubled over wheezing, still laughing crazily. It was starting to alarm me, but I didn't know what to say.

Finally he looked up at the ceiling, his long, lean body still doubled over and said, "This must be punishment for refusing to believe in the Crystals, right?"

The Matriarch and I shared an uncertain, scared look.

He looked at her and his eyes were bitter. "Out of all the women of Florem, you're my mother?" his gaze switched to mine, and he said, "I don't believe this. You both decided to make her my mother so that I couldn't harm her in any way."

"What are you talking about?" I was genuinely confused.

"She's the _Matriarch_!" Alternis all but shouted, making me flinch. "You couldn't find the _real_ Concordia. So you and the Matriarch hatched this silly little scheme so that I wouldn't kill her."

"So it's true," the Matriarch said, mostly to herself. "You really were going to kill me."

"That's ridiculous," I snapped, ignoring her. "Why would I want to do that?"

"Because you never trusted that I would do the right thing! Ever!"

"I've never trusted you?" I gave a sarcastic little laugh of my own. "Oh, that's rich, Alternis." This was going wrong. So very wrong. This was supposed to be about meeting his mother, yet I couldn't stop myself from pressing this issue. "Ever since we got to Florem, I have been doing everything I could because for _once_ you opened up to me. You threw me a lifeline and I've been hanging on to it, hoping you won't cut the my only way to you."

He said nothing, so I said in a firmer voice, "She is your _mother, _Alternis. I don't know what kind of person you expected."

He worked his jaw furiously, not looking at any one of us. "I didn't expect, at all," he said in a rough voice. "I expected... I expected her to be dead already." His voice broke at, 'already'.

The Matriarch's eyebrows drew together as she regarded Alternis. "What... Why...?"

And there it was. The emotion, the anger, everything that I hadn't seen in Alternis came bursting out in that one sentence. "You never came back for me." It was terrible hearing his voice like that, almost as if he didn't know how to talk or what words even were. "You never came back. I was so angry, all these years. But then... Then I thought... I thought that maybe the reason for that was that you were dead."

I sat back in my seat, not daring to say a word. I couldn't interject right now; I knew it wasn't my place. Furiously, I tried to make the Matriarch understand that right now, she needed to say something, anything. Miraculously, she did.

"Alternis," she said, using his name for the first time in more than twenty years to him. "The only thing I can say is that I'm sorry, and I know that that's not enough." She took a deep breath. "You have every right to be angry at me and I accept whatever you want to do to me."

I realized Alternis seemed tightly coiled. He had been leaning forward in his seat, and every muscle seemed tensed up. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said stiffly.

The Matriarch's face softened in relief and she broke into a watery, quavering smile. "Alternis, my so-"

"That's the other part," he said, interrupting her, his voice rife with tension. "I wouldn't kill a woman I hardly knew. A woman who is nothing to me."

"Alternis, what do you-"

His lips tightened. He ran a hand through his hair, his long fingers sinking into his silvery blond hair. "You aren't my mother."

"But Edea just told you that I was. And I am."

He shut his eyelids and slowly, he began to unwind and relax. "You smell exactly as how I remember, now that I'm closer to you. Freesias and cotton." He opened his eyes, his dark gray eyes regarding her as if she were a stranger. "You may have taken care of me for a few years, and for that, I will always be grateful. But it still remains that you are not."

"I don't understand. Don't you want to at least hear my side of the story?"

"You cannot begin to fathom how many times I've dreamt of meeting you. Sometimes, it was the only thing that kept me going in my rigorous training to become a Dark Knight. I imagined our initial meeting in many different ways; awkward, emotional, rage-fueled. Yes, there were times when I wanted to kill you because of what you put me through. But there were other reactions. Sometimes, I wondered if you died. On my most hopeful days, I thought you'd been kidnapped by pirates and I vowed I'd save you once I got the chance." He lowered his gaze to his lap where his hands lay.

"Alternis, I'm so sor-"

"So imagine my surprise when I've just come to realize that I don't care. I feel nothing when I look at you. As far as I'm concerned, we are not family, and I have no desire to get to know you."

The Matriarch blanched at this. Her eyes grew wetter and she pressed a hand to her mouth, perhaps to stifle a sob. "I'll get to my knees. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Tell me what to do and I'll do it. I know the words aren't enough but..."

"You don't need need to apologize," he said tonelessly. "I'm not doing this to punish you. I genuinely do not care. I'm such a fool. To think, I hungered for a family I could call my own, when the closest thing I could call family has been the Lees and I don't even consider them mine." Pointedly and determinedly he wasn't looking at me.

I bit my tongue. I knew it wouldn't do any good to tell him otherwise.

"Excuse me," he murmured. "But I have more pressing matters to attend to." He got up, bowed stiffly toward her, and left.

The Matriarch was in shock as was I. I couldn't believe that after everything that had happened, this had been the way it went between Alternis and the Matriarch. After what seemed like a lifetime of worrying, it was over just like that. Alternis had hardly acknowledged me. He'd just... left.

I didn't know why it bothered me, that he'd cut her off like that. That he didn't even want to hear her side of the story. I couldn't just believe that he let go of everything in a split second. Years of anguish, of unanswered questions, and he'd just rejected it all. It had to be out of spite.

Right?

It hurt to see that he was capable of dropping somebody like the woman who had given him birth so easily, so quickly, although now that I really thought about it, perhaps it _was_ in his nature after all. He'd gone from proposing to me to kissing me, to having confused feelings toward me to never having any feelings for me apparently in the first place.

I needed to think about all this later. For now, I cleared my throat politely, and the Matriarch jumped in her seat, as if she'd forgotten I was there in the first place.

"I apologize," I said, and I _was_ sorry. Because even though I disliked the Matriarch, I couldn't help but feel sorry at the way things turned out for her. And I knew what I was doing wasn't in good taste at all, but these matters couldn't wait. "But I have papers for you to sign about the boys of Florem being granted a place to stay. It's nothing big - just an agreement that you'll work on this issue."

The Matriarch squinted at me, as if she didn't know what I was talking about. But a moment later she said in a voice that I found hard to decipher, "I'll sign nothing of yours."

My jaw dropped open. "Excuse me?" I said, when I finally found my voice.

"Excuse _you_. The deal was that we'd get along if I did this. It's not going to happen if he's estranged himself from me."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "We had a _deal_," I seethed. "And I can't believe you'd use it as a bargaining chip. And for the record, I never promised that it'd be rainbows and roses if you agreed to do this. I just said there was a high possibility that he wouldn't seriously injure or kill you. And he didn't."

She leaned forward towards me, her eyes slicing into mine. I'd never seen her so angry. I never knew somebody could pierce somebody with such a hateful stare as the one she directed toward me now. And suddenly, I had to wonder if this was about the boys of Florem or something else. "He doesn't consider me his mother. No, he considers _you_ and your family his own."

Now I understood. She was jealous. I bit my lip. "That's ridiculous," I said. "He's always said that we're not."

She smiled and that too was hateful and bitter. For once, I could see a little bit of Alternis in her, the angrier she got. "You don't fool me for one minute, Edea Lee. I'll not sign your agreement."

I could see the resolve and the steely glint in her eye; it was so ironic that the moment Alternis disowned her as a mother, she showed the side of her that I could see in Alternis. I knew she wouldn't sign it. "You petty, horrible, person," I said, because I couldn't think of anything else. "I'm starting to think Alternis made the right choice by refusing to get to know you more." I got up from my seat, and rose to leave.

And just as I was out the door, the Matriarch called out, "Oh yes? Well you know, by disowning me as his mother, what that makes you?" She didn't wait for a response. "It makes you and him _siblings_. I do wonder if Eternia doesn't mind incest? Perhaps not, since you make little effort to conceal your love for him." She let out a mirthless shout of laughter. "And you find our customs quaint."

I whirled around and stared her dead in the eyes. I couldn't even deign her a response; I could only see red as I stared her down from the door.

She was small, pathetic and angry, and I discovered that I absolutely _hated _her at her weakest. I shook my head. "Here's to hoping Florem has a better successor."

I exited before she could say another word, but the fact that I'd gotten the last word in was small consolation. Because I knew that I'd failed Florem. I was leaving and I hadn't established any laws against rape, and now I'd also failed all the Floremese boys in the sewers. The only thing I _had_ accomplished here was selecting delegates for the UNL, but this didn't make me feel better at all.

I couldn't fix Florem, and I was leaving it.

I'd lost.

* * *

**And this concludes the Florem arc. Next chapter, we'll finally be moving on to Caldisla! I wonder what surprises we'll find there. Namely, Caldisla will be big on Tiz, since we hardly have heard from him.**

**What a grim ending, but you can't win 'em all, can you? I'm glad we're finally moving on from this place. Caldisla won't be as dark of an arc, I promise, since I've never really pictured the society _as_ corrupt. Eisen will be kind of dark, but whatever, haha. Haven't planned much about that place yet aside from the main plot points.**

**As always, thank you _all_ for reviewing, fav'ing, following and reading my story and I appreciate any future reviews, seriously! It really keeps me going, especially during the times where some of my work will not save and I'll have to rewrite a whole scene again (which I'm totally not a fan of doing lol, and which happened to this chapter.)**


	24. Caldisla

_Dear Mother,_

_I could really use a comforting word from you. I've lost Florem. The one region that I thought would be easy to get on our side, I've failed in more ways than one. The place seems beyond repair. It is as if the presence of Fiore DeRosa still lingers there. His maliciousness continues to infect this nation and I find no way of solving it which both infuriates me and saddens me. For the time being, I have decided to give up and move on. I can only work so hard before realizing that something is a lost cause. I'm hoping Florem isn't - that perhaps what it needs is time or maybe another touch other than my own. _

_Mother, I do not think I'm suited for this work. Tell me that I am. I could use the comfort right now. I could use anything. I miss you._

_Agnès remains my only comfort, my staunchest ally. She understands the weight thrusted upon my shoulders as she is also going through it somewhat herself. If it weren't for her, I would probably be back in Eternia letting Alternis lead everything._

_Speaking of Alternis, since I know you would probably ask, I fear that Florem has left him worse for wear. I don't think I need to tell you what kind of history he has in this place. Suffice to say, it was emotionally draining for him and I feel partially responsible for this. I feel that he feels it too, which is why I'm doing my best to keep an eye on him, but he has distanced himself from me. I'm not sure if we'll ever make progress in a better relationship, he and I, but I suppose I shall still try._

_As for Krov, if the reason you're silent is because I keep asking who Krov is, then I'll say no more. I just would like to hear from you soon._

_Love always,_

_Edea Lee_

* * *

It began to rain several hours after we took off from Florem, so most of us stayed inside the Eschalot which made for a somewhat crowded space. I knew that Alternis and Theo were still out commandeering the ship which worried me. The rain seemed to be getting worse and heavier. If conditions progressed like this, we'd be forced to land.

I didn't plan to stay long in Caldisla, perhaps a week at the most. I was fairly certain that the King of Caldisla would supply the UNL with his own members, though it was hard to say if he would even agree to my proposition at all. From here on out, my battles would all be upward. I was putting a lot of hope in Tiz speaking on my behalf. I knew that Tiz had become somewhat of a hero in Caldisla, with people not only touting him as the "lone miracle survivor" of Norende, but also as the boy who may have saved Luxendarc, though the latter was mostly a rumor. His personal life, however, remained largely private according to the reports I'd gathered. Tiz spent much of his time rebuilding Norende and while the sleepy town was functional, the only thing it seemed to lack was inhabitants. Though some people from Caldisla had moved, and even a few people from Eisenberg and Ancheim, the place seemed to be failing in terms of citizens. No official study had been done on why that was, but I had a sneaking suspicion that not many people wanted to live in a place that had been thoroughly wrecked before.

It bothered me that this seemed to be the only reason why Norende wasn't doing well. Throughout all our adventures, we had all seemed to have a dream and with the exception of Tiz, all of it was deeply entwined with putting an end to Ouroborous's dastardly scheme.

Tiz represented the light. He represented rebirth. The thing he had wanted most was to rebuild from the beginning. Quietly, he had drawn out plans and sent letters to those in Caldisla to rebuild the town and had overseen the construction whenever we could stop by. It killed me that he had hit this snag. Out of all of us, Tiz deserved his dream the most.

I didn't say all of this out loud to Agnès, who I had taken to spending much time with. Ever since we set our course for Caldisla, she was unnaturally quiet. Agnès had always been quiet and demure, her power coming in her silences, but now she was even more so. I realized she was nervous meeting Tiz. It had been nearly three months since she had heard from him after all. I knew she couldn't let things go easily, least of all her feelings for Tiz.

Thunder rumbled overhead and I chanced a glance at Agnès who was staring out one of the portholes, her face impassive. I squeezed her hand. "It's going to be okay," I whispered to her.

"I know," she said, giving me a quick smile. She squeezed my hand back. "More to the point, are you alright?"

It was a loaded question. My mind kept drifting back to Florem and I replayed the events over and over, wondering if there was anything else I could have done differently. I knew it was pointless to think back on the events. They had already happened, after all and there was nothing I could do to change it unless I jumped to a different world. I smiled slightly at that.

I rubbed my forehead. "I'm trying not to think about Florem too much, but it's hard," I admitted. It wasn't just Florem itself that I kept thinking about.

After the Matriarch and I had a falling out, I couldn't see any way to patch things up. The enormity of what had happened between us was deeply unsettling. If the Matriarch and I couldn't get along, then I'd failed in my role to forge any kind of broken bond between Florem and Eternia. I'd probably made relations between the two nations even worse.

There was only one way I could see things patching up between us, and the key lay with Alternis. It seemed that the Matriarch had only gotten angry at me when Alternis had refused to view her as his mother and acknowledged us as, more of less, his real family which had bothered me. The Alternis I knew used every opportunity that he could to make himself an outcast. I wondered if he had only said that out of anger, rather than because it was the actual truth.

Because the truth was, I knew there was no way Alternis could just drop her like that, no matter how much of a coward she was for abandoning him in the first place. But I also didn't know how I could make him see that. Especially not now when I could hardly face him.

This time, I was the one doing the avoiding. I hadn't so much as looked at Alternis since he'd left the Matriarch's chambers. I wondered if he knew that she wouldn't do a single thing about the boys of Florem.

"Stop worrying," Agnès said gently. "These conflicts usually work themselves out in the end." I watched her angelic face perk up which somehow made me feel calmer.

"What is it?" I asked her.

"You may think you did not do much in Florem, maybe even left it worse for wear, but you are wrong. You had a huge impression on the vestaling."

I frowned. "I don't even know her name. We only spoke once." I could hardly even remember what I'd said.

"It matters not. Whatever you said seemed to have touched her heart. Edea, do not you see? You helped restart Crystalism. It shall take some time for the effort to gain momentum, but restarting the Crystalist momentum in Florem is something you should be proud of, especially since after Eternia, Florem had the least amount of faith in it. It is a huge feat."

"So you're happy?" I asked her.

She tilted her head at me. "Of course I am happy. I should be happy of all the blessings the Crystals have bestowed upon me. Florem is slowly awakening, and all is right between you and I."

"And we're going to see Tiz," I said.

She turned to face the storm outside. A flash of lightning illuminated her suddenly contemplative face. "I am happy we are finally seeing him. It worries me that he has kept minimum contact with us."

* * *

Because of the storm, we arrived later than we expected, around midnight. Alternis opted to stay in the ship because, according to Theo, he had really needed the rest. "Don't know why he won't just stay the night in the inn instead. Much more comfortable beds," Theo quipped. I suspected it had to do more than me, but I wasn't about to tell Theo that.

Caldisla was eerily quiet during the night. Florem had a thriving nightlife, so there were always people bustling about, and Ancheim's huge clock ticked away at all hours of the day and night but aside from a few people milling about, and a few stray cats it was quiet. I could see the stars almost as clearly as if we were in the middle of the ocean. They glittered against the heaviness of the night air.

"We must go to Norende," Agnès demanded at once, bringing me back to the ground.

As much as I wanted to see Tiz too, I threw my hands up, gesturing at the night. "Agnès, it's very late. We can see him tomorrow morning."

"We need to see him now," she said, shaking her head. "I - _we_ have waited three long months. There is something the matter with him. I can feel it."

I sighed. "Agnès, I want to see him too, but I'm not comfortable going through those caves alone." I shivered. It probably wouldn't be too bad. Any monster we'd find in there paled in comparison to Ouroborous or Airy, but after being rocked back and forth for several hours on the ship during turbulent weather, I just wanted to sit still on solid ground. I was utterly exhausted. "Besides, what difference can one night do?"

And if I had to be perfectly honest, I was also eager to see Karl the Innkeeper. Karl and I had an interesting relationship. I felt personally responsible for his son's death, yet he had always showered me with kindness. It was his attitude toward me that taught me that anybody was capable of redemption, so long as they took the steps necessary to redeem themselves. My relationship with Karl also made me wonder about what my life would have been like if I lived in Caldisla as a simple Caldislan girl. I tried to imagine a life as an ordinary girl living with a father like Karl. It seemed almost impossible.

Agnès's shoulders slumped and she hung her head. She knew I had a point. She also would be mad to attempt it on her own, especially since Agnès primarily excelled mostly as a healer, and nothing more. If she was ambushed by any monsters, it was hard to say how she would fare when she was adverse to doing any killing.

I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hugged her toward me. "I promise we'll make a trip to Norende first thing in the morning."

She nodded heavily. "Okay."

We walked in silence, our feet kicking up the gravel beneath us. Behind us and in front of us were my guards, ever vigilant, though I knew I could be safe in Norende.

We reached the inn within a few minutes but Karl wasn't there. Instead, there was a young, friendly woman who was at the counter. "I was told you'd be coming. Somebody radioed Karl a few hours ago from your ship. How many rooms?"

I named a number for a few guards as well as for adjoining rooms for Agnès and I. Then, I casually asked, "Where's Karl?"

"The innkeeper? Oh, he hired me to take the night shift. He's been getting old and says he needs his rest at night."

"Oh," I said. I was disappointed that he wasn't here.

"Between you and me, he's not really sleeping anyway."

I raised my eyebrows. "Really?"

"He spends his nights at the graveyard," she said. "Meeting with his son."

It was suddenly difficult to meet anybody's eyes. "Of course," I murmured. And why not? Owen had been all Karl had. I had thought with Egil coming here, he would have been a little at peace, but perhaps this was foolish thinking. Though Egil was earnest and companionable after you got over his eagerness, he could not exactly replace Owen. Nobody could replace a son after all.

We checked into our rooms, and I entered into mine. The sight of the plain, yet comfortable room sent waves of nostalgia over my mind.

This. This was where it had all begun. For Tiz, Ringabel and Agnès. But staying here had somewhat cemented my decision to stay with them. I felt myself smiling slowly, sadly at my surroundings and inexplicably I felt close to tears.

Nothing was the same.

* * *

When I woke up, it was a bright and cloudless day, a stark contrast to what the previous day looked like. I rushed through my morning rituals, my heart beating quickly. I wanted to see Tiz. No, I needed to see Tiz.

I ran down out of my room and into the breakfast hall, hastily gobbling down some eggs, toast and bacon. I chased it all down with some pulpy orange juice. As I passed by the counter, I heard a man say, "Is that the kind of welcome I get?"

It was Karl. "Karl!" I cried out happily. He looked better than I last saw him when we'd left Egil with him. Back then, his cheeks had hallowed out considerably, there were bruise-like shadows under his tired eyes and he looked almost skeletal. Even worse, were his eyes. I hadn't seen Karl until Owen's death so all I knew about was that his eyes looked haunted beyond repair. They looked almost frozen in time.

When I described this to Mother afterward she had sighed and said, "I cannot imagine the pain it must be to outlive your child." Then she ruffled my hair and said, "Take care of yourself, dear."

Now looking at him, while the shadows hadn't completely disappeared from his face, he looked like he had gained some pounds back. He did not appear as ghastly as before and his eyes had retained a certain pinprick of warmth to them. "It warms my heart to see you. And look! You've changed so much. You look somehow older, wiser."

I shrugged. "Comes with the job," I said flippantly, though his words touched me and made me proud. "How's everything in Caldisla? Norende?"

Karl wheezed out a laugh. "Nothing ever changes in Caldisla as you must know, though we've recently reestablished order in Lontano Bay. It was in a mess after the Sky Knights used it as their bay." He gave an awkward laugh and eyed me, as though just suddenly realizing I had once been part of the Sky Knights.

"Well, that's good to know," I said after a short pause. "So where's Egil?" My changing of the topic was far from subtle, but Karl latched onto it quickly, as game as I was.

"He's doing well, that boy. Growing as fast as a weed. So stubborn. Reminds me of Owen in a way... The way he always wants to help out in whatever way he can. He seems to have taken a special interest in Tiz."

At Tiz's name, my ears perked, suddenly even more interested. I was about to see him, that much was true. But any news about him before I saw him was welcome. "Er..." I said, suddenly awkward. "How is Tiz?"

Karl eyed me curiously. "He's fine. Keeping busy with Norende and all. Such a shame really, him doing so much. The King's trying to recruit some Caldislan citizens to Norende to fill up the town but most of this kingdom thinks it's cursed, especially after what happened. Aside from a few villagers, the place is almost deserted."

I frowned. "How's Tiz taking that?"

Karl shrugged. "As well as can be expected."

I searched for any telling sign in his expression that hinted if there was a deeper story but Karl's wrinkly face stayed the same. I looked away from Karl. "I didn't tell him when we were coming."

Now it was Karl's turn to look surprised. He leaned forward, clearly interested. "Why not? You four kids always seemed inseparable. The best of friends on your journey."

I shrugged, but I felt a sliver of sadness at his words. Not long ago Agnès and I hadn't been speaking to each other. Ringabel was gone. Tiz hadn't spoken to us. Inseparable indeed. At least I had Agnès and we were back to being the best of friends.

Speaking of Agnès... "Where is Agnès?"

"The Wind Vestal?" Karl scratched at his chin, musing. "I was told she left early on by my assistant. Before first light, as a matter of fact. Said something about making sure Tiz was okay."

I groaned. Of course she'd gone without me. It was foolish, really. Agnès's skills lay in white magic and while white magic could produce damage she was still largely a healer, more than she was a fighter. "She can't even fight! I have to go." Who else would protect her?

Karl touched my arm gently. "Don't worry. I was told she took somebody with her. One of your guards, I presume."

I breathed a sigh of relief. At least she wasn't totally defenseless. I couldn't imagine anyone in my crew better than me at fighting, but it was still better than nothing. "Who was it?" If it was Theo, she could be in big trouble. The boy had a few fighting skills, but I'd watched a him practicing sparring and his movements were so clumsy, I was sure that if Master Kamiizumi had seen him, he would have been ashamed on his behalf.

"Not sure. My assistant said he didn't step foot into the inn. I don't believe he slept here at all, as a matter of fact. He was tall, looked a little dangerous..."

My heart pounded. That _had_ to be Alternis. Alternis had escorted Agnès then. I rubbed my chin. On one hand, there weren't many other people who could protect Agnès as well as Alternis could, probably. On the other hand just thinking about them traipsing those caves without me made me feel strange.

It wasn't exactly jealousy, just the fact that I felt left behind. Why couldn't Agnès have asked me to walk her through? Why did she have to rely on Alternis?

And Alternis...! I knew of his dislike towards anything of the Crystal Orthodoxy. I couldn't imagine why he would volunteer to escort Agnès. I no longer believed he would assassinate her at the earliest opportunity; if he could stay his hand toward somebody like the Matriarch, then I was sure that Agnès was in safe hands. Still, it was rather puzzling that he had gone with her.

I gave Karl a quick grin. "I've got to go," I said. "I need to meet up with Tiz."

"Of course," Karl said. "We should catch up sometime however, Edea."

I bowed my head. "We should. And I promise, we will."

I left the inn, and once I was outside the gates and had more than enough elixirs and mega-potions stocked, I began to dash toward the caverns that would lead me to Norende.

Before the chasm had destroyed Norende, I'd been told that there were easier routes to access Norende, routes that normal villagers could use and not get easily lost, nor attacked by creatures that thrived in darkness. But even though the chasm was gone, and Norende was, more or less, an actual functioning village, the routes still had not been paved, nor cleared. Perhaps that was also a reason why Norende lacked visitors. It seemed almost like a blatant oversight that Tiz hadn't thought about creating a worthy road. I frowned, took a deep breath and entered the cave.

It was as dark and dank as I had remembered it to be when I first ventured here. Back then, I didn't have Agnès, Tiz or Ringabel with me. Instead, I had Ominas Crowe at my side. He had stuttered his way through and I remember being half tempted to knock him out cold but I didn't dare. I was only a lowly soldier at that point and Father had told me I had to obey Ominas. It seemed strange to me at the time, that Father had put his total trust in Crowe. The man may have been skilled in black magic, but he was utterly unhinged. Still, his fire had gotten us through that cave.

Even though I wasn't as proficient in magic as Tiz or Agnès or Ringabel, I still carried the black magic asterisk as a secondary ability and lit up some Fire. The ball of flame in my hand, I wandered down the twisted ravines. Some of the pathways were so narrow, I had to inch along sideway, my back pressed against the wall. All the while, using my ninja asterisk, I made sure to be stealthy so I wouldn't run into any monsters, casting Utsusemi on myself. Though pummeling monsters was something I was good at and even enjoyed, I decided not to risk it.

I was about three-quarters into the cave, when I heard them. They weren't being particularly quiet, so it was easier to hear them. Agnès's voice was raised, as if she were passionately arguing about something. Alternis's voice was harder to make out, but his voice was slightly raised too. Fearing the worst, I put out Fire and crept up to them so that I could eavesdrop, hating myself for stooping so low on people who I actually trusted.

"-Persecuted for decades!" Agnès was saying. "I understand the Earth Vestal was corrupt. But we, as vestals, are only human. We are capable of being corrupted the same as you or others may be. But we, as individuals, don't represent the religion itself!"

Alternis snorted. "You say that and yet the vestals in my experience speak on behalf of the whole religion. Isn't that why the people of Crystalism look to you now?"

Agnès was quiet at this. I longed to defend her, but I knew that if I gave my position away, they'd suspect I was eavesdropping on them. And anyway, I already knew Alternis wouldn't listen if I was the one doing the defending. He had to hear it from the source itself.

"You're right," she said. "The people _do_ look to me. And it scares me more, knowing that I am the only one who can guide them. I, who know so little of the world, yet am so knowledgeable about Crystalism itself... What can I hope to give these people? How can I find balance?" Agnès sighed. "It weighs heavily on my mind. When I accepted the role of the Wind Vestal, I never thought I'd be alone. And I most certainly didn't expect to hear very valid criticisms of the religion itself. When I had heard that the Earth Vestal refused to use the Crystal's power to help those who needed it most because the Crystal was meant to be pure, I was torn. Some of the Crystalist scriptures have said that the Crystal cannot be used for worldly reasons. I suppose using it to cure the sick could fall under that. And yet, Crystalist scriptures have also said that the Crystal must be used to save people in their hour of need. Is that not curing people from fatal illness?" Agnès's voice, which had begun as thoughtful had now grown increasingly more convinced.

She added, "And I am not so sure that vestals must be totally separated from the world either. The fact that we must be totally married and committed to the crystal we serve totally ignores the fact that if we cannot understand the common folk, then how can we instruct them? If we cannot have lives outside the religion itself..." she trailed off.

"Do you mean Tiz?" Alternis asked, his voice quiet. I'd hardly ever heard Alternis speak outside me, or his crew or business related purposes. Now he sounded almost... normal. There was a hint of curiosity in his voice.

"What?" Agnès asked. "Did Edea tell you anything?" She sounded suspicious and I almost tripped at my name.

"Not at all," Alternis said quickly. "Your actions betray your feelings for him. You insisted on leaving so early in the morning. You didn't even want breakfast."

"Oh," Agnès said, and there was an embarrassed pause. "Well, of course I care for him. Not romantically of course," she added unconvincingly. "Are you sure Edea didn't tell you anything? I could kill her for this..."

Alternis gave a short, harsh bark of laughter. "It wasn't her, trust me. We haven't spoken in awhile anyway."

"Oh," Agnès said again in a voice that sounded too understanding. I wanted to slap her. Was, "Oh" all she knew how to say? I had updated Agnès on everything that had transpired between Alternis and I, that much was true. But I hoped she wouldn't make it obvious that I had to Alternis. I didn't want him to know I'd been talking about him. "You two seem to argue a lot," she said.

"I know."

"Well," Agnès said, "Edea is an argumentative person." I glared at the direction of her voice.

"I know."

"So you're not speaking to her because you... argued?"

"Yes. Well, no. Not exactly. It's complicated."

"Can I ask what happened?"

"No," Alternis responded gruffly.

"Edea is my friend. Perhaps I can shed some light on the matter. She may be stubborn, but deep down she has a good heart and tries to please everybody."

"I know," he said again, and this time his voice was heavy. "It's that ability to want to please everybody that makes me wonder how much she must suffer."

Agnès responded wisely, "So you know her better than I thought you did."

There was a brief silence on Alternis's end. For a moment, I panicked, wondering if they had detected my presence. But then Alternis said, "She's been like that, even as a child. When the Lord Marshall introduced us, she had initially thought my appearance unpleasant, as did the rest of the children who attended school with us. The Lord Marshall commanded her to get along with me and cheer me up, which was perhaps, precisely the reason she didn't want to. I confess, I also didn't want to be around her. I had thought her spoiled, and snooty." His voice became gentle. "And she _was._ But then, when she noticed the other children bullying me, something inside her changed. I suppose she considered me her personal project. She relentlessly made an effort to get me to open up, even when I didn't want to. She wanted me to feel included and still does today even if I feel like I am not and that I couldn't be unless..." He stopped, suddenly embarrassed, as if he realized he'd said too much. I was surprised he'd said as much to begin with. I never knew Alternis felt that way about our childhood. I had always though he considered me a nuisance until about a few years before our paths diverged.

Agnès asked, her voice quiet, "Is that why you asked her to marry you on Grandship?"

My heart stopped. I couldn't believe Agnès had asked such a bold question. I was almost certain that he wouldn't even respond. Alternis guarded his secrets with an iron, spiky fortress. But he surprised me. His voice was wracked with guilt when he said, "Yes. I'm ashamed to admit it, but yes that was one of the reasons. Don't misunderstand me," he went on hastily. "I really... I really _cared_ for Edea. But my reasons for proposing were selfish. It was the name I wanted. I thought that if I had married her, I would really feel like a Lee."

This was knowledge I'd already known and yet I couldn't help but feel like a weight had been dropped on my chest hearing this.

"But you like her," Agnès said. It sounded like a statement.

"Of course I do," he said, and sounded tired. We grew up together until we didn't. And when we didn't..." he trailed off. "The training to become a full-fledged dark knight is a lonely, torturous path. You sometimes lose your faith in humanity and even in yourself. You inflict unimaginable pain upon yourself to build up your tolerance to pain, since the main purpose of being a Dark Knight is to channel all the negativity and pain inside you to energy you can use to crush your opponent.

"The one thing I could count on, the brightness in my life, was Edea. She was my light and I practically idolized and worshipped her during my years away. She was my only friend who I felt liked me for me. The Lord Marshall had always chosen me because he had seen a talent and skill in me he hadn't seen in others. To him, I was useful. Lady Lee loved me as well and her love was unconditional, but it was Edea who I felt truly understood me. Imagine my disappointment when I realized she was not who I thought she was."

I felt my cheeks flush, anger pulsing through my blood. I was ready to pummel him, to say that I was _sorry_ that I disappointed him, but then he continued, "Disappointment in myself of course. I realize now that I was wrong to put her on this pedestal. Edea is not a person to be idolized nor worshipped. She is simply... human. And I must learn to see her that way again."

"I see," Agnès said. "Thank you for telling me this, Alternis. I feel as though I thought of you all wrong. Edea had led me to believe that you were stubborn and backwards."

He chuckled. "Sounds like something she'd say."

"But you're actually a lot more wiser than I thought. Like you did when we first met. I don't know if you recall that time... but you remind me somewhat of Ringabel after he got his memories back. The more solemn side of him."

"Is that a compliment?" He asked drily.

"I assure you, it is. Don't mistake me; you and Ringabel are quite different despite being the same person. But there are parts of you that I see in him and there are parts of him that I see in you at times."

"You miss him." A statement, not a question.

Agnès sighed, "More than I thought I would. Even when the rest of us didn't feel like smiling, Ringabel somehow managed to amuse us with his silly antics. Edea as well, you know. They were like a comedic duo. She was much more vibrant on that journey than she is now. It makes me wonder if this is her true path, to follow in her father's footsteps."

The path began to grow brighter. The entrance was coming up soon, I realized. I stopped in my tracks, letting them go on, but before their voices faded completely away, I heard Alternis say, "Edea seemed to have taken a liking to him."

"I believe she did, more than she let on anyway. You know Edea. When it comes to feelings that she perceives as weak such as love, fear, and sadness, she is loath to showcase them."

"So she loved him."

Up ahead, I saw Agnès's silhouette pause to look at Alternis. "Well of course she did. She saw you in him."

I felt my cheeks flame. That wasn't true at all. If I _had_ seen Alternis in Ringabel, we could have saved ourselves a lot of trouble as well as saving many lives. I stayed in the shadows, hearing their voices fade away, wondering if what Agnès had said held any truth to it at all.

I was too busy wondering that I didn't notice Utsusemi had worn off.

* * *

**This chapter is unedited (like a lot of my other chapters YIKES).**

**So for those of you who follow me on tumblr, you may have noticed that I posted an announcement that I'm going on an indefinite hiatus. To be clear, I still _am_ on a hiatus. I don't know how long it'll last, however, I thought it'd be a shame to leave this unfinished in my drafts. I had finished a few thousand words of this before I decided to post the announcement, then felt it would really suck to leave it and then have it expire and delete. So I struggled to finish it and here is the finished product. I'm sorry there is still no Tiz, I had thought I'd have written him in this chapter, but it wasn't meant to be.**

**Anyway, when I first announced I'd be taking an indefinite hiatus, I was in a very bad place in my life because my life is about to take a drastic turn and I simply couldn't accept it. But it's been months, and while nothing has changed in real life, I'm slowly trying to adapt and accept what has happened. Due to this, I feel like it's perhaps best to go on hiatus, try to focus on my personal life and hopefully, when I feel more comfortable and settled with what's to come, come back to writing if I still am in the same mindset.**

**Truthfully, this story has been a personal source of joy to me. I am not the most prolific writer in the Bravely Default, nor am I the best or most famous writer in this fandom... this story isn't even as well written as I'd like it to be but it _is_ a place where I can just share my ideas and continue the story (even if there is a sequel) and I must say, I really did enjoy the attention it got. I have received criticism for this story, criticism which I have always tried to listen to and no doubt, there are people who think it's overrated and don't really like it.**

**However, none of that really compares to the overwhelming amount of support and praise I've gotten. To all my dear readers, I say _thank_ you. I have felt like shit lately, and sometimes, when I do, I read through the reviews and people who tell me they like my story and it honestly makes me feel like maybe, just _maybe_ I'm not entirely worthless or horrible or weak or selfish or cold as I previously thought. That maybe I can make a difference.**

**You all don't know the power your words have on me. We don't even know each other and yet I am honored that you all decided to spare a few seconds, a few minutes, maybe even a few hours reading my work and telling me what you thought about it.**

**I hope someday I can come back to writing this again... Until then, farewell.**

**-TSE**


	25. Tiz Arrior

By the time I got to Norende, I was still mulling over Alternis and Agnès's conversation. I had hardly noticed I had reached this town and when I did I couldn't help but admire the place.

It was exactly the kind of place I imagined Tiz grew up in. Quiet, sleepy, quaint. A place that cultivated innocent pure hearts. A place that could only raise a boy like Tiz. The light was radiant here, the glades dappled with sun.

It was completely the opposite of the kind of environment I'd grown up in. Eternia was cold, desolate. I'd grown up in the lap of luxury, but I'd been born to compete, to become the best.

Norende was warmth. It made my heart ache seeing this place.

And yet, I realized as I approached the town, there was something eerie about this place. It didn't take me long to realize what that was; the emptiness was off-putting. As I approached the town, I saw a few sheep milling about, untended to. I saw perhaps one person, a haggard old man who kindly directed me to the town square.

But even as I approached the small town, I noticed it was empty and it seemed to be that way for awhile. Though the buildings looked new, they did not looked lived in; there was a fine sheen of dust covering everything.

I bit my lip. Where was Tiz? I turned about, but again, aside from a few villagers I could not see the boy who constantly looked like he'd just woken up and hadn't bothered to comb through his hair. Had Agnès and Alternis already gotten to him?

"Excuse me," I said politely to one of the villagers, a young woman who seemed to be in her twenties. "I'm looking for a friend of mine. His name is Tiz."

Sure enough, her face lit up in recognition. "Oh yes, Tiz. His house is quite aways from the town, but you can't miss it. His little brother can take you if you'd like."

I frowned. Tiz's little brother had perished along with the rest of Norende's inhabitants. That much I knew. Tiz never talked about him often to me, but I'd seen how much it had torn Tiz up to choose between saving all the worlds and staying with his brother to rebuild Norende in one of the other worlds that we'd gone to. "His brother?" I asked blankly.

The woman arched a brow. "The pint-sized little welp. Egil? I personally believe he's a pain, but Tiz loves having him around."

Oh, right. Egil. Wasn't he supposed to be with Karl? But it made sense that Egil stayed with Tiz. Egil had reminded him strongly of Til, after all. They even looked alike, from what I remember.

Like most of my relationships, Egil and I hadn't gotten along in the beginning. I privately considered him a liability even though he had been extremely useful navigating us through the mines as he couldn't fight, but toward the end, I realized he had been more of a help than a hindrance. Without him, we couldn't have accessed the Fire Temple, and all things considered he was an orphan and had no family. It made sense he had recklessly pursued adventure if he felt that nobody was left to truly care for him.

"Oh right, Egil," I responded. "Yeah, I'd really like that."

The woman chuckled. "He's probably by the stables by the inn. He loves the horses there."

It didn't take me long to locate the stables, and sure enough, I spotted Egil, squatting down by a gray mare's stall.

Or at least, I thought it was Egil. When he turned around at my footsteps, he stood and I was struck with how much he'd grown.

The weedy, sickly little boy had filled out. Norende had agreed with him. He now sported a nice, healthy tan, and he'd grown several inches since I last saw him, almost to my height. He'd shorn off his silvery-brown long hair, leaving it short, practical and now it was easy to see his face. There was still the look of innocence and youth to him; the smatter of freckles across his face certainly helped with that. But his face had slimmed and matured just a little, his cheekbones becoming just a little more pronounced.

"Edea?" he asked, his voice cracking a little. It almost made me smile, hearing him going through puberty.

"You've forgotten me already?" I teased.

"Not at all." He demurred. I was so busy noticing what had changed about his face that I suddenly realized the brown in his eyes betrayed wariness. "I'd never forget you."

I walked a little toward him, closing the distance between us and then, crossed my arms. "But you don't seem happy to see me."

He froze; he was caught. "Still the same Edea, huh? Cutting to the chase." He laughed nervously. Even though he was nearly my height, he seemed cowed by my bluntness. I decided to take advantage of that.

"And you're avoiding the topic. I thought maybe I was imagining things, that maybe Tiz was too busy to write back. But the look in your eye tells me I'm not. You guys don't want me here, do you?" My voice went soft as I voiced my greatest fears about Tiz aloud. I had thought that Tiz and I had an unbreakable bond after everything we went through, but perhaps there were bigger things - bigger than saving the world from imminent destruction - that could tear a relationship apart. I wondered if it was my fault. I worried.

"Don't say that, Edea. I missed you. I always saw you as my tough, bigger sister," he said, and swallowed with great difficulty. "Trust me, I always wanted you to visit."

I paid attention to what he wasn't saying. "But _Tiz_ doesn't."

He hung his head. "Tiz doesn't." He hastened on to explain, "But I don't think it's necessarily you, Edea. Ever since he came back he's been... different. He doesn't show it a lot, so I don't think anybody has noticed, but I spend a lot of time with him and I can see it when he thinks nobody's paying attention."

"See what?"

Egil shrugged. "I don't know how to explain it."

I bit my lip. "Okay, then can you _show_ me? Just show me to him and I'll see if I can figure it out." Even though I'd gotten some sort of confirmation that there had been something wrong with Tiz, I was still very anxious. I realized I needed to see him now.

Egil sighed. "I don't know..."

"Egil," I interrupted, as softly as I could. "Tiz could be in trouble. He needs our help, and if I don't know what's troubling him... I just... I really _need_ to see him." Maybe it was Florem's loss or the way I'd totally ruined Alternis's and the Matriarch's reunion, but I really wanted something to go right.

I saw the wheels turning in Egil's head as he considered my offer. Finally his shoulders slumped in defeat and he said, "Okay."

...

Tiz's house was a little away from Norende, more on the outskirts. It was a cottage surrounded by light blue and light purple wild flowers. It looked very picturesque. There was a small pig pen beside the cottage, a chicken coop, and a big pen where sheep were grazing. Behind this, I could see a tiny, bubbling little brook.

After he assured me that Tiz was home ("All the animals are in, and he wasn't planning on going to town.") Egil quickly made some excuse about tending to the sheep, leaving me alone in front of the rounded wooden door. There was an old, burnished knocker at the front and nervously I rapped it against the door three times in quick succession. My heart was pounding.

Less than a minute later, the door opened cautiously, and there he was. Tiz.

Before either of us could say a word, I'd thrown myself into his arms and crushed him against me. He smelled like sunlight, hay and sweat. He was just _there_ and I knew I missed him but I didn't know how much I had until this moment. I felt my eyes water, feeling him against me. It was like he was real again.

Tentatively, I felt his arms encircle me as well. "Edea?" he asked. "What's wrong?"

I loved that about him. I had missed that about him. He instinctively knew that there was something wrong. I pulled back and studied him, keeping the tornado that was my emotions in check. "You. I think."

"Me?"

"Where have you been, Tiz? You've been so absent..."

I saw something flicker in his eyes, but then a second later he gave me a sheepish grin. He scratched the back of his head. "Have I? I've been busy rebuilding Norende..." he trailed off, the lie hanging between us awkwardly, creating space.

We both knew it wasn't true. How could it be, when I had been traveling all over the world, forging relationships and still had taken the time to write painstakingly long letters? I had never been the kind of person to write lengthy letters unless I needed to. I preferred actions to words. I knew Tiz was the same. He was quiet, speaking only when he needed to, but I also knew that he would write to keep in touch.

I licked my lips, pondering how best to restart the conversation. "Agnès is looking for you too. She's worried about you."

At her name, he seemed more alert and I suppressed the urge to fight off a smirk. If nothing else could get a reaction out of him, she would have to. Getting Tiz and Agnès to admit their feelings to each other was something that Ringabel and I had agreed on from the very start. Just because Ringabel was no longer around, didn't mean I couldn't stop trying to get them together.

"How is she?"

"Distraught that you haven't responded to her letters." I arched an eyebrow at him and he had the grace to look utterly cowed.

I stepped over toward the kitchen, a tiny, yet clean space and sat down at a tiny wooden table. "I would have thought she would have came here first, actually. She began her journey before I did. Her and Alternis actually."

"Alternis?" Tiz followed me into the kitchen and immediately put a kettle on the stove. "As in... Ringabel's...?"

"The Ringabel of our world," I said, and I found it extremely weird to put it that way. After all, shouldn't it have been the other way around? Wasn't Alternis the original?

"Doesn't he... not like her?" Tiz asked carefully. "Or... well, any Crystalist?"

I shrugged. "A lot's happened since. I think I updated you in one of my letters that Agnès was traveling with us. She and Alternis had some time to pick at each other's heads. I wouldn't call them friends exactly but..." I didn't know what else to say so I shrugged. I didn't know their relationship.

Tiz said nothing. He was always more of a listener. We lapsed into comfortable silence for a few minutes, and the kettle started whistling quietly.

"Nice house you got here," I said waving an arm around vaguely. Then I said, "I can see why you were so determined to rebuild Norende. It feels like home and I don't even live here."

Tiz smiled, but it was a sad smile. "You should have seen it when it was full. Everybody knew each other and took care of each other. Sometimes it was a little annoying having people know your business before you did, but they were the kindest..." he trailed off, seemingly emotional.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset," I said quickly.

"It's okay," he said. "Now Norende's just a shadow of what it once was." I was surprised to detect bitterness in his tone. "It's like, I look around and I can still see the exact place I noticed the first time I lost a sheep, where the inn was where I'd had my first ale. My first kiss was behind the school house. I know all the spots, but it's like the heart and soul of Norende no longer exists. I don't feel attached to this place anymore." He said this in a strange voice, the expression on his face not unlike what it was when I asked him why he'd been so absent.

Then he said, "Maybe it's not Norende, though. Maybe its soul still _does_ live on, even though all the original folk here are gone. Maybe the problem is me."

I was getting creeped out. I couldn't explain why I felt scared, hearing him say that. I didn't even really understand what he was saying, but there was something sad and bitter in his voice, coupled with that same absence I had been feeling from him. "What do you mean?" I asked quietly.

"It's like-" he was cut off when the kettle began its high-pitched whistle, which startled him. A second later, he was the same old Tiz, pouring me a cup and asking me how much sugar I took. I appreciated that he didn't even bat an eye when I put my fourth sugar cube inside the cup and showed no signs of stopping.

"Your life seems a lot more interesting than mine. I know you've sent me letters, but tell me everything, anyway. I've been keeping up with _The Caldislan Times_ and sometimes you're on there, but I'd rather hear it from you."

I sat back in my chair, my hands circling the large mug of tea he'd placed in front of me. It was still steaming, but the warmth of the mug seeped through my fingertips. "I don't know if you want to hear it," I said slowly. "Some good stuff's happened... but I fear that there's more bad than good." I sighed heavily. "I wonder how well you'd think of me if you heard it. Times seemed so much simpler when I was traveling with you and Agnès and Ringabel. Even if we were wrong, our path seemed so much clearer." I took a sip of tea. I couldn't tell exactly what it was because of all the sugar I'd dumped in, but it smelled and tasted flowery, and almost soothing.

Tiz rolled his shoulders back. He didn't say anything for a long time, but I could see his brown eyes staring at me. There was no judgment in them which I appreciated. Finally, he said, "I think part of growing up is realizing that there's no such thing as right and wrong. The line between the two becomes more blurred, the more people you get to know. I grew up in a small town. We all held the same kind of beliefs, more or less. But then I met you guys and I realized how diverse the world was. Even though we were fighting for the same thing, we had different ways and methods for doing it. I realized the world was a lot bigger and stranger than I previously thought and at first I couldn't accept that." He smiled to himself. "But then..." he stared off into the distance.

"Then?" I pressed.

"Then, I saw Agnès change." When he said her name, it was like his whole body changed. He instantly relaxed, and it was like his eyes were smiling too. "She was my inspiration for realizing that every person is unique, from the circumstances they were born into, to the way they experience things. And it's because of that, that I realize peoples ideals and their versions of right and wrong will never perfectly match up with somebody else's.

"I can never forgive what Airy did to us. The world. The universe and all its parallel ones." he said. "But... I can definitely see why she did it. Before I met Agnès I think I'd have wondered my whole life why she betrayed us so badly."

I raised my eyebrows. I still couldn't see why Airy did what she did. And as I opened my mouth to say so, I heard a brisk three knocks at the door.

Tiz and I shared a look, before he got up, me following him.

I knew who it was before Tiz had even opened the door. Alternis and Agnès stood there. Agnès's face looked drained of blood, her gaze hungrily drinking in Tiz. It was like she couldn't believe he was there, standing in front of him. But there was also something unreadable in her eyes. It almost looked dangerous.

Alternis was, as usual, in his full black armor and because of that, I couldn't read his expression, let alone wonder if he was even looking at me. Blast his stupid armor! Either he was completely ignoring me, or he was staring at me. And if he was, then that would mean we were looking at each other which hadn't really happened since his confrontation with the Matriarch. With this sudden realization, I glanced back at Agnès hastily. I wasn't prepared for any eye contact which may give him the idea that I wanted to talk to him. Not especially after what I'd overheard back in the caves.

As much as I hated to admit it, he'd had a point. If he had put me on a pedestal all these years, entering into a relationship with him would only wreck us. He wasn't emotionally ready for us getting closer. I felt my heart throb painfully at this realization. Was I giving up? I didn't know if he even wanted to see me as anything more than somebody to idolize. If I was to be his perfect person, the one person who defied all darkness in the world, who was I to begrudge him that? For now, it was probably best to keep my distance from him and let him think whatever he'd thought of me before.

Alternis said, "Tiz Arrior?" in a very stiff voice.

Tiz tore his eyes away from Agnès to give me a quick look that said, "is he always like this?" Then he responded cautiously. "Y-yes, that's me..." His eyes switched back to Agnès. His cheeks had gone slightly red as he gazed upon her.

"I'm Alternis Dim... But I guess you already knew that as we've met before. Er... when I saved you from the Chasm and then knocked you out, and then I fell off Grandship," he added in a slightly flustered voice. Tiz didn't say anything; he was too busy looking at Agnès. It was like everything in the room had disappeared except for her. Watching them stare at each other like that made my heart squeeze again.

Alternis said again, "Lady Oblige was most anxious to meet you."

"Agnès," Tiz said, ignoring Alternis. He said it softly, with care. It was as though he was scared that if he didn't treat her name with the proper care, she'd shatter right in front of him.

Agnès took a step closer. "Is it really you?" she asked in a voice that barely went above a whisper.

"Yes," he breathed. "It's me."

I thought they were going to kiss. I really did. They were close enough that Tiz could have pulled her into one.

Instead, I saw Agnès's face contort, and before I could warn Tiz, her fist connected with his face.

Agnès had punched Tiz.

In the face no less.

I should have seen that coming.

* * *

**HI! IT'S ME AGAIN.**

**Surprised? Well, me too! I don't want this to become a diary of my personal life, so I won't bore you with the details. I've reached that stage where writing has not become as stressful as I previously thought it would be under my circumstances. I realized I missed it, so I came back. I'm going to try to set a pace like I did last time (remember the days I used to update once a week, then it went to twice a month, then once a month? I'm going to try to be more consistent...), but we'll see how that works out.**

**This chapter is _so_ much shorter than most of my other chapters. Sorry for that. I'm still trying to get into the flow of writing, so I'm still VERY rusty. This was mainly an exercise for me on how I'd deal with Tiz's character. I always knew Tiz would be hard for me to write; we can agree that Bravely Default is told through his eyes, therefore he doesn't have _quite_ as much quirkiness in-game as Edea, Agnès, Ringabel, or Alternis do, like most main protagonists do. He is perceived as more normal/less quirky than the other three. This is a mechanic a lot of storytellers use for main characters that are in video games especially, giving the main protagonist a blanker slate than the rest so the player can insert themselves into the character. **

**I'm trying to stay true to that sort of characterization for Tiz, but I admit, it's hard, heh. Anyway, Bravely Second is out and has been for some time! I got the Limited Edition, but I have yet to play it (I didn't even download the demo because I'm too busy playing Fire Embleim: Fates and there wasn't enough memory for the demo to fit, anyway, orz). Now I'm not sure if I should start it up. I'm afraid if I do start BS, it might interfere with how I envisioned this story to end. At the same time, if I _do_ play it, I can make it as canon-compliant as possible toward the end. Gah! So many decisions. Well, I doubt I'll have time for it anyway, since I have a huge exam coming up in June that I need to study for. BS would only hinder my ability to study (As Fates is currently doing to me now hahaha ^^;).**

**Well, until next time, readers! As always, thank you so much for the reviews and support. It means the world to me.**

**-TSE**


	26. A Solution

Agnès had already pulled her fist back again before Alternis finally sprang to action, gripping her wrist tightly, and locking his arm around her waist. In the mean time, Tiz had doubled over, taking a step back. His hands flew to his face, clutching his nose. I had to hold him to make sure he didn't fall all the way down.

"Are you okay?!" I asked. "I'm sorry, I didn't know she was going to do that!"

Although, it's possible I should have known. There were times where Agnès worried over Tiz more than she had over her Crystalist duties. And then to see him apparently, physically unharmed, she had probably assumed the worst. That he hadn't written back because he didn't care.

Gingerly, I pried his fingers away from his face. Although his nose was very red, nothing appeared to be broken. "I'm fine," he said, finally. "Probably deserved that," he muttered to himself.

I pursed my lips. While it was true that Tiz had worried Agnès, I wasn't so convinced he deserved being hit in the face.

In the mean time, Alternis barked, "Calm yourself, woman. You're a Vestal!" He appeared to have no difficulties in restraining her, but judging by his voice, he sounded extremely uncomfortable holding her down.

I straightened up, went over to Agnès and said in a soothing voice, "You need to calm down." I gripped her by the shoulders and stared her in the eyes. Alternis took a step back once he realized I had her. She looked distressed, but the more she looked at me, the more she calmed down, her breaths becoming quieter and less labored. I almost smiled in wry amusement; since when had I been the rational one? I was usually the hotheaded one, and Agnès the one who thought things through a little more.

"Listen," I said in an even quieter voice so that Tiz and Alternis couldn't hear me. "I think there's definitely something wrong with Tiz. He seems fine to you now, but he's not and I don't know if he'll tell me. You have a better chance of having him tell you what's wrong with him. There's something... off about him. He's not quite the same Tiz. I think... I think everything he's endured ever since losing Norende is taking a toll on his wellbeing and he's been trying to hide it. Now is not the time to hit him. You need to be there for him. Got it?"

Agnès, didn't meet my eyes, but she nodded. She looked ashamed, as if she only now realized how badly she'd reacted.

"Promise me you're not going to hit him again or use any sort of physical violence?"

"I won't," she said in a low voice.

"Good. I trust you."

I let go of her shoulders and said to Alternis in a slightly louder voice, so that Tiz could hear, "Alternis! Would you like to see Norende?"

He responded immediately, "Lady Oblige and I have already seen-"

"Perfect!" I forced a grin on my face. "You can walk me around." Alternis was the last person I wanted around me, but I also knew that Tiz and Agnès needed some time alone. Hopefully, to patch things up.

I turned around to Tiz and Agnès who both weren't looking at each other. Both were red in the face. "Tiz, do you mind if Alternis and I, step out? We'd really love to see the town, and I'm sure Agnès and you would love to catch up."

"Oh! Uh, sure," he said.

"Perfect!" I said in a bright, cheery voice that I knew fooled nobody. I grabbed Alternis's gauntleted hand, grateful for once that the armor was blocking his body heat. I pulled him along. "We'll see you in the evening!"

* * *

We approached the town, not saying a word. Alternis was a few paces behind me so the only way I could tell he was behind me was his heavy footsteps and the clink of his armor. I'd let go of his hand as soon as the door shut, walking as quickly as possible.

Being around Alternis was not only awkward, but it was more painful than I could have imagined.

"Edea," he said.

"Great weather, isn't it?" I said.

He was quiet. Then he said, "Yes. I have always enjoyed twilight. It is when darkness and light merge together to form something different. It's happy and it is sad."

I turned around to face him. "You don't have to accompany me. I can find my way around Norende. Nobody's going to kill me here, so... so you don't have to worry about me."

I heard him sigh through his helmet.

"I just wanted Tiz and Agnès to work things out in private," I continued, as though I hadn't heard him. "That's why I dragged you away. But I can manage by myself."

"I never had any doubts that you could," he said quietly.

"Okay, so then we'll meet up at Tiz's house, okay? Around evening time? That gives us maybe an hour and a half to explore." I waited for several seconds, but he didn't say anything. "See you later."

I was about to turn and leave when he said, "Edea, wait."

"Did you forget something?" I asked, my voice prim. It was getting harder to control the tension I could feel building up at my throat.

He cleared his throat. "I, um... yes. I did. I forgot to thank you."

The look on my face must have shown how puzzled I was, because he elaborated, "We need to talk about Florem."

"What about Florem?" A hard edge crept into my voice.

He ignored it. "About the Matriarch and... everything with the boys... I realized you must have gone through a lot of effort for my sake and I never acknowledged it..." he trailed off lamely.

"That was nothing," I lied, not because I was trying to be difficult, but because I didn't know what to do with his gratitude. "Not much effort at all."

I started to walk toward the main town's square, and to my annoyance, he followed. Because his legs were longer than mine, it was easy for him to keep up.

"I doubt that. I was looking hard myself, so I'm sure-"

"Not everything that comes hard for you also comes hard for me," I cut him off. "Just let it go. You don't have to thank me. I'm giving that to you."

I heard him exhale through his helmet. "Yes, I do. At first, I was angry because I thought you'd interfered in my life. But then I thought about it more-"

I couldn't listen to this anymore. I stopped so abruptly that Alternis had walked a few steps before realizing I'd stopped. "You want to thank me?"

He nodded vigorously.

"Don't ever bring Florem up to me ever again. None of it. Not the Spring Festival. Not Vlad or Ivan, or the boys from the sewers. Don't ever bring up Rose, or Praline even. Don't bring up the Matriarch, the kisses, none of it. I don't want to talk about it. That's how you can thank me."

I couldn't read him through that damn helmet of his. It was frustrating that I couldn't read his face, but at the same time I was relieved that I couldn't look at him.

"But don't you think we should?" he pressed.

"I just want to move forward. Everything that happened in Florem was a mistake."

"Well..." he said. "Surely not everything."

"Everything," I enunciated. I crossed my arms, and glared at some of the unused buildings.

"You're not a quitter," he argued. "You can't just move on without thinking about it."

"Well, I am," I said wearily. "If I had to learn anything from the last few weeks, Florem was beyond me and sometimes you have to learn to admit defeat gracefully. Lesson learned."

"You sound frustrated."

I forced a laugh. "Hardly."

I stopped short in front of Norende's main inn, and Alternis stopped too. Like the other buildings, it was mostly unused. I was sure that a lot of people would want to live here if they knew about this place, but how could I get them? The emptiness of Norende annoyed me. Irrationally so.

I'd come to Norende, but even this place wasn't perfect because it lacked people. It bothered me that even here, there was something wrong.

There had to be a solution, but I didn't know what that could possibly be.

"I always dreamed of living in a place like this," Alternis said. His voice was thoughtful, laced with nostalgia. "That was before I saw Eternia."

I tried to imagine Alternis wanting to live in such a warm, friendly place. I couldn't do it. "It's a nice place," I said vaguely.

"It is. Now, I'm not sure I would ever fit in such a place."

I turned to him. "Why do you always hide behind that armor?"

He tilted his head at me. "That's a peculiar question." He sounded surprised at the sudden change of topic.

I clasped my hands in front of me. "Are you going to answer it?"

"Does my armor make you feel uncomfortable?"

"Yes. No." I paused, really considering the question. "Yes and no. It's always a yes and no when it comes to you."

He took his helmet off immediately. The bottom half of his face was covered in some sort of black, cotton mask that extended to his neck and down below, but I could still see his eyes. They were a hesitant, slate gray. "You're afraid of me?"

I swallowed and licked my lips. "It's not that I'm afraid. It's just that I never know what you're thinking with that helmet on and I want to know. But I'm also afraid of what I might find out if I were to look."

"So you _are_ afraid."

"You surprise me," I said carefully, my heart squeezing painfully the more I looked at his face. I realized right then and there that it was impossible. I couldn't maintain this sort of relationship with Alternis. I needed more. I couldn't just be a source of light to him. Alternis had become important to my heart whether I liked it or not and if the love was unrequited, I didn't know what kind of impact it would have on me. "You say one thing, but you do another. Or you do one thing, and then say something different."

"This is about Florem isn't it? About the way I reacted towards... _her._"

I sighed. The memories of what had happened there flooded my mind. "I just didn't think that you would react that way toward her." Like him, I carefully avoided saying Concordia's name. "It was... cold."

"And what she did to me? That wasn't cold?" A hard edge had crept into his tone.

"Of _course_ it was, Alternis! You never deserved what she forced on you but you never even _asked_ the circumstances surrounding the reason she abandoned you. You just cut her out."

He avoided my eyes, his eyes slanting to a spot somewhere toward a patch of dirt on my right. I saw his jaw flex through the mask. "It doesn't matter. She still abandoned me when she had the means to look for me."

"And you feel... nothing? Not curiosity? Not anger? Not sadness?"

"No. Who cares about that woman?"

"You're lying." I narrowed my eyes at him. "You feel betrayed."

He didn't say anything to that, but the tension and composure in his eyes was suddenly gone. It was like he wasn't fighting anymore. I'd seen that expression on Ringabel after he regained his memories. I saw him give me that kind of expression when he thought I wasn't looking. And he'd had that expression on his face right before he left. Sadness.

"You don't have to put on a brave face," I whispered. "It's just me, Alternis."

He dropped his helmet to the ground and his eyes went to mine. He held my gaze. His eyes were red and I knew he was dangerously close to crying. I'd never seen Alternis this way before. Even as children, with all the sullen looks, bitter stares, and the constant bullying he had to endure, I'd never seen him cry before.

It suddenly occurred to me that I was responsible for this breakdown. I wondered if I was a monster. I should have seen it coming, that what I'd said could wreck him.

Before I knew what I was doing, I'd wrapped my arms around him and pulled him against me tightly. His face buried itself into the crook of my neck and I heard him quietly sob. "I'm sorry," I said. "I'm so sorry, Alternis. I should have realized you'd be going through this kind of pain. I shouldn't have interfered."

He didn't say a word, but I felt his arms looping around my waist, pulling me close to him, so that my body was pressed against his armor. "She left me," he said into my neck like a child. "She _left_ me. I can't just pretend that I'm strong enough to forgive her. I'm not like you, Edea. I can't just make up with her. She's..."

I ran one hand through his hair, stroking through it as comfortingly as I could. "I wouldn't be able to do it either, if I were you," I said, but I wasn't sure if that was true. I tried to put myself in Alternis's shoes. Meeting my mother for the first time after she made the choice to abandon me? How did that feel? I couldn't possibly understand. Even if my mother was now infuriatingly quiet probably because she refused to tell me about Krov, she still loved me and I knew she would never act indifferent or abandon me in my time of need willingly. I'd always known her love even though I spent a lot of my time living apart from her.

And if hard-pressed, I knew Father loved me too, in his own, harsher way. If he hadn't, I knew he wouldn't have pushed me as hard to become the best person I could be.

Alternis didn't have any of that. He'd never had anyone care for him because they loved him unconditionally, but rather because they saw him as useful. Father had plucked him from the sewers because he saw potential, because he saw him as an asset. It wasn't until Alternis proved himself, that Father had admitted he'd thought of Alternis like his son.

I don't know why it was this moment that I felt like I truly understood Alternis for the first time. Everything that I'd felt, the awkwardness, the anger, the disappointment, they had all melted away in an instant.

Gently, I pulled his head up from my neck and pressed my trembling lips against his forehead for a moment. I couldn't tell him that he had a family, _our _family. I understood why he didn't really think that he belonged. But I still wanted to let him know in any way I could. "I'm sorry," I said, my eyes watering too.

He placed his forehead against mine, his eyes closed. "I can't deny that you interfered," he said, his voice thick but no longer sobbing. "But I made things difficult on you, didn't I? I should have trusted you from the start but I didn't know how. I should have let you in but it was hard."

I used the pads of my thumb to brush away his tears. He leaned into my touch. "It doesn't have to be hard," I said, "we can take things slow. I know you're having a hard time differentiating who you thought I was, and who I really am."

"You heard what I said to Agnès?"

I slid my arms away from his face, around his shoulders. "I heard enough of what you said in the caves. You said what I'd already suspected when you talked to me about it after we kissed."

He paused, considering this. Then he said, "I shouldn't have kissed you."

"I wanted you to." I wasn't thinking about anything but how I felt now. A small part of me wondered if I'd regret it.

He opened his eyes, his eyes darkening as he considered me. "Don't say that unless you really mean it."

His expression was dangerous. There was something almost carnal there. I felt the power of his gaze shoot from my heart down to my very core. I couldn't help it; his stare made me catch my breath. I felt my cheeks grow warm, as my eyes slid down to where his lips were covered by his mask. Every part of me wanted to press against him, to taste him. I wanted to feel his lips, soft and yielding against mine, perhaps the only part of him that was gentle and kind. I desired him.

However, I knew that if I succumbed my desires, there was no going back. But what was going back anyway? When we were children? We could never go back to the way things were, I realized, not since Alternis had proposed to me and I'd began to think of him in a romantic light. We weren't children anymore, and while there may have been a time where if I'd gotten to know Alternis more, he could very well have been my brother. But when I looked at his eyes, all I could see was a man who was hard yet vulnerable, brave yet frightened, energetic yet weary. He was a study of opposites, and for some reason, I liked that, yearned for it.

I couldn't hesitate. I'd done enough hesitating, and he had to know that he'd hesitated enough too. There was a small part of me that wondered if this was a bad choice, that maybe we needed more things to talk about, but hadn't we done enough talking already? I had to stop thinking, stop weighing the pros and cons and just go for it.

"I really mean it, Alternis." I tugged my fingers downward to pull his mask down to reveal his lips, slightly parted. I felt his breath against my face, shallow and uncertain.

I wanted him, and I knew he wanted me too. I dragged my fingers into his soft hair and was just about to pull him down to me for a kiss when-

"Gross," I heard Egil observe, which made me snap back to reality. I didn't know how long he was standing there, but Alternis and I sprang apart anyway.

"Egil!" I said, dazed. "I... what are you doing here?"

"Tiz and Agnès asked me to get you." He strode up to us and glanced at Alternis. "You're... Alternis right?" Alternis nodded, stooping to pick up something from the ground. It was hard to see his face at our angles. "Heard about you. You look exactly like him..." Egil muttered the last sentence under his breath so that Alternis couldn't hear him, which was probably just as well. I didn't need Alternis hearing himself being compared to Ringabel right after we almost kissed.

"Already?" I frowned, gazing at the horizon. The sun had only just begun to dip into it, casting a lovely, ethereal glow on the village. I had thought that Tiz and Agnès wanted to spend more time alone. Evidently something must have happened that derailed a confession. I nearly rolled my eyes at how frustrating it was to see them dance around their feelings.

"How did they sound?" I asked, ignoring my heart that was still racing from almost kissing Alternis. I snuck another look at him and saw that he had already retrieved his helmet and was now standing a few yards away from me, almost as if he was frightened that I carried some sort of airborne disease. The helmet, I was pleasantly surprised to discover, was still off, but he was looking determinedly away from me. I wondered what he was thinking.

"Um..." Egil said. "Okay, I guess?" He sounded uncertain. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Boys could be so obtuse when it came to reading people's emotions.

"Alright," I sighed. "I guess we can go."

I could still recall the way Alternis felt against me, and as we marched toward Tiz's cottage, I couldn't help but replay it over and over again in my mind. He had wanted me too! I knew he did. The expression in his eyes held nothing but want. I felt my heart beat a little faster at that thought. It didn't matter what I was to him. He'd been traveling with me for months and had seen the good and bad. He knew what kind of person I was and yet he still desired me. It had to count for something, right?

I turned back to look at Alternis who was trailing behind us, and who, up until I turned around, was staring at my back. When he noticed I was looking at him, he jerked his head away in an unconvincing way that indicated he hadn't been staring at me at all. He was embarrassed, I realized. But I didn't know if he was embarrassed because of what we'd just done or because Egil had nearly spotted us. Alternis was a private person after all. I'd imagine that he wasn't exactly keen on having anyone watch us.

"You could walk with us," I said to Alternis uncertainly.

He didn't say anything, but he did speed up so that he was walking with us, Egil being in the middle. I pursed my lips at the fact that he hadn't chosen to walk beside me but I chose not to say anything. Instead I began a conversation with Egil who proved to be an animated chatterbox. He detailed his days enthusiastically with me, letting me know that he chose to divide his time between Norende with Tiz and Karl. "So how do you like Norende?" I finally asked.

Egil twisted his mouth. "Well..." He cast about a suspicious glance. "You promise none of you won't tell Tiz?"

Alternis surprised me when he said, "I pinky promise." He reached his gauntleted pinky and fulfilled the oath, twining it with Egil's for a moment, his expression so solemn I cracked up, surprising myself.

When we were younger, Alternis and I used to pinky swear a lot. I still remember teaching him what it was when I first used it on him and he'd been confused. After I explained him what it was, he did it all the time, especially when he was telling the truth about something and I thought he was lying.

_"You're lying! You saw a yellow Frosti? You're lying!"_

_"I swear, I really did! I pinky swear I'm not lying."_

He did it a lot when he was serious about something too. I remembered when I started crying when Father announced that he'd start his Dark Knight training the next day and that I wasn't allowed to see him during his training. I remember hating Father with the kind of deep bitterness only a betrayed child could feel. As far as I'd been concerned, he had pushed on me a playmate who had turned into my confidante, the only person my age I could rely on. And then he had taken him away from me.

I remember being unwilling to say goodbye to Alternis, refusing to even see him the night of, because I thought if I didn't say goodbye he wouldn't leave. But in the early morning, before the sun rose he snuck into my room and jostled me awake.

_"Dee, I'm leaving." _He'd called me Dee, when he first began talking to me and wasn't used to talking to anyone or addressing people. He didn't use it much when he got a bit older, but him calling me it again had tears springing into my eyes.

_"Don't_,_" _I remember saying. At the time, I had thought if he did leave I'd never see him again.

_"I'll be back, Edea." _

_"No you won't."_

_"I pinky promise."_ He had slipped his pinky into mine and squeezed my pinky gently. At the time, we weren't huggers, so we didn't hug. But that simple touch of our fingers felt like a hug to me. _"I'll come back for you__."_

In a way, I guess I was right; that would be the last time I'd see Alternis as a child, as the kind of person he could have been had he not undergone years of vigorous Dark Knight training. The next time I saw him, he had changed of course. He wasn't the same bashful, eagerly curious boy I'd coaxed out of him. The only thing that had remained was his fiercely loyal and protective disposition.

But Alternis also fulfilled his promise. He _had_ come back for me, and it wasn't just one time. Time and time again, he always had.

Now, I sent a smile at Alternis. "I can't believe you still remember pinky promising."

He smiled back at me, looking a little embarrassed, a little shy. "Of course I remember."

"Do _you_ pinky promise?" Egil shot at me, clearly annoyed that we'd forgotten him.

"Sure, kid," I said, and linked my pinky with his and repeated, "I promise I won't tell Tiz what you're about to tell us."

Satisfied with this response, Egil's bright demeanor suddenly drooped. "Truth is, I don't really like Norende. I like Caldisla _much_ more. I only come to Norende because I feel bad for Tiz."

Alternis and I exchanged a look. "What don't you like about it?" I asked.

Egil shrugged. "It's so... _boring_. Nobody's here. Nobody my age actually. I have nobody to play with here, and there's hardly any people here. It's like it's not even a town. It feels dead."

"So what you're saying is that you don't like it because there aren't people here?"

Egil nodded. "It feels gloomy without people."

"That's... perfect, actually," Alternis said, stopping in his tracks.

I frowned at him, stopping too. "Towns need people to function, Alternis," I said patiently, as if I was trying to explain basic math to a child.

He ran a hand through his hair, turning his face to me for the first time. I'd never seen his eyes so bright and excited. He grabbed the sides of my arms, pulling me toward him slightly. "Edea, this town needs people, right?"

I wasn't following where he was going with this, but I nodded slowly along with Egil who seemed to think Alternis had gone mad.

"So think of a place that _doesn't_ want a good portion of their population based on their gender."

It clicked. It should have clicked earlier, and I berated myself for not thinking of it first. "You mean the Floremese boys?"

Alternis broke into an excited grin, flashing his teeth. "Not _just_ the Floremese boys, because we'd need to even out the gender a bit... but think about how much more we could expand it. Women who have boys who don't want to be parted from them. They could raise the boys here."

I stared at his face and thought about the Matriarch. If she'd had the place, means and courage to move and raise Alternis, would she have done it? I wondered if my previous words led him to make this choice. "We'd have to ask Tiz..." I said slowly.

"Of course we should," Alternis said immediately. I was struck by how easily he'd agreed with me. I smiled at him.

Could it be that easy? Could I solve this problem _this _quick? Could Norende be the solution to some of my problems in Florem? It seemed too good to be true and yet...

I couldn't help but hope that this could be the solution.

* * *

**I'm going to leave it here, because yep. I think I needed a chapter where not much happens (even though a lot happened!) plus my big exam is coming up on Monday (Why am I writing this? I suck at time management) so I thought I'd get this in before that happened.**

**I think we'll spend maybe two more chapters in Norende/Caldisla, before moving on to the Eisen region which will be equally as brief as the Norende/Caldisla chapters, before this story moves to its conclusion back to Eternia. I need to reread my story to see if I missed anything, but I have maybe three or four major plot points I can think of at the top of my head that I still need to head in on.**

**I'm sorry that there wasn't a lot of Tiz so far! I know a lot of you wanted to see him and I thought about writing his and Agnès's reunion, but I couldn't really get past the fact that I'm sure it would have to happen in private because while Edea really is a Tiznes shipper, she understands what privacy is, lol. Because I wrote this in first person, there was no way I could have documented it, but worry not! I'm sure Agnès will give Edea the summarized version of it and hopefully Tiz's struggles will continue to play a role. I'd originally intended him to pop up more in my fic earlier, but Florem took a longer time than I expected (which I should've seen coming since I tied Alternis's backstory to it and Alternis is practically the co-star in this story lol)**

**As always, a _huge_ thanks to my reviewers, old and new alike. You guys have been really patient sticking with me thus far. I can't believe it's been more than two years! I appreciate hearing your thoughts, as always and encourage you to do so.**

**-TSE**


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